Hansel VS Felarya, part 1- From Simple to Complicated
Hansel tapped his fingers on the table as he kept reading the uninteresting passage. His nostrils flared as he sampled the clean air in the reading room once more, in growing impatience. The silence wasn't helping at all.
"First of all, I must hope you're reading this out of curiosity. For if you've got a practical reason to know about Felarya, my dear friend, you're in great trouble."
"It is a world full of unconceivable treasures, and natural beauties both heartwarming and breathtaking. It is also a world without disease, where aging does not occur, virtue of its unique soil. Those are the four only good reasons to come here: there are literally seabeds' worth of gems, giant turtles made of diamond, mile-high falls of pristine, sparkling water under the sun, and the native life is forever youthful and healthy."
"The drawback is that the native life is forever youthful and healthy. And to protect such a world, they've adapted in a series of interesting ways, some very pretty to look at. Predators seem to be able to find you wherever you are, and most are very magical. The signature adaptation in Felarya, not as frequent however as they make it seem, are brobdingnian proportions- and a tendency to swallow their prey whole, alive, yet somehow get away with it more often than not."Hansel felt the sound of some steps. And as he raised his head, looking around the library, deserted except for him, he saw a man in dark clothes approach his table. He didn't have a book on his hands, he wasn't going to read. As he sat down in front of him, Hansel stepped up. The table was narrow, and he was giving the man a good shot at his family jewels.
-Is anything the matter?- Hansel asked. His voice was a bit nasal and trembled slightly, but his eyes were firm enough.
The man looked at him. His green eyes flashed briefly, letting Hansel know who was he talking to, or at least, who the man he was talking to claimed being.
-Yes, Hansel... I've been looking for you all over town.- he answered, with a brief smile. Hansel reciprocated.
-You should've checked the adventurers' guild first, not last, then.- Hansel answered, with a tone of displeasure ringing over the rest of his thick, garbled accent.
-Come to think of it...- the man answered, his eyes flashing again.- Yes, I should have. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Stagme Duro, your contact with House Rawvarze, and you... you obviously are Hansel Schön. Nice to make your acquaintance...- he said, extending a hand.
Hansel mindlessly shook it.
-Nice to make your acquaintance too, "Stagme".- Hansel answered, making his thoughts clear.
-I swear it's my real name. You should know, Mr. "Schön".- Stagme grinned.- Anyway, I'm here for your assignment.- he glanced down at the table.- My, my, a book on Felarya. This one's a nice world, you know?- His eyes flashed dangerously again.- I've heard many things, but I've seen only good things. You've been here, what, two weeks? Why are you still at the prologue?- he raised his gaze, grinning.
-Because I've been reading the real books before this one.- Hansel answered, abruptly.
-Always practicing, aren't you, Hansel?- Stagme smirked.- That must be why you're the best there is.
"That came out of nowhere." Hansel thought, raising an eyebrow. "Why the compliment?"
-Don't give me that look, Hans, I just complimented you! I guess there's just no pleasing you?- Stagme asked, tilting his head, raising an eyebrow. Hansel didn't answer.- Oh, well, there's just no pleasing you. So we'll have to do this the hard way...
-There'll be no need.- he cut off, swiftly, flashing a smile.- Very well, Stagme, what are my orders?
-Are you so desperate to get rid of me? That's not nice, not nice at all! I'll have to talk to my supervisors, see about getting you a little discipline. You know the respect you owe me, right?
-They didn't tell you?- Hansel asked, finally.
-Tell me? Tell me what?- Stagme answered, showing a scornful, but interested face.
-I'm not very nice, and they know it. So go pester somebody else.
-Why are you talking to me like that?- Stagme asked, leaning in, looking a bit threatening. Sweat ran down Hansel's neck.
"This time I really blew it." he thought.
-If you wish, I know of a really good brothel not too far from here, Mr. Stagme.
-Look... you little piece of drivel...- Stagme growled.- You're just a goon. You die, we get another. I'm the real deal. I'm a full member of the house. You know what that means? I OWN you.- he punctuated, putting a finger on Hansel's chest.
Hansel blinked.
-Okay, you just go and say I sent you, I have a tab there.
Stagme reeled back.
-Yes, you're not very nice, I guess. Why bother disciplining you? We'll just get another when we're done with you...- Stagme growled, shaking his head.- Anyway, This is your assignment, Hans Schlondgorf. Do blow it, please. I'll bet them you would do so.- he said, searching in his suitcase for a paper envelope, and handing it to him.
-I'll do my best.- Hansel replied, as ambiguously as he could, while cracking a smile. He took the envelope.- Goodbye, Stagme.
-Goodbye, and best of luck.- Stagme replied, with a wicked smile. His sinister green eyes flashed again. As he left, Hansel opened the envelope... but then he heard something that really got his juices flowing.
-Ow! Watch your step, lady.- Stagme grunted, as he left the library. So Hansel immediately concealed the package under his robe, and looked from the corner of his hood. The lady that came in had raven black hair, and black eyes. She glanced at him for a moment, then glanced away and left.
Was she who he thought she was? There was but one way to find out. He walked up to the window, and looked out into the street. Stagme was leaving. He waited for a while, but in the end, there she was: the same lady who had bumped into Stagme, and left shortly after. And she was going in the same direction that Stagme had went.
Maybe it was just coincidence. He sat down again, and memorized his orders quickly. However, after finishing, he realized there was something on the paper envelope. Something thick and heavy. He pulled it out. It looked like something between a compass and a clock. He tilted his head, examining it... when he realized something. The top slid off, revealing a large coil-like object inside. According to his orders, it was the extraction device. Oddly enough, Hansel knew enough about magic to recognize a depowered device not meant to work anymore. Even his orders called attention to this fact. He'd have time to think about that later.
Then he took a few white pages (there were some in the library if one knew where to look... such as the trashcan, for example), and wrote a misleading copy of his orders. It wouldn't resist a thorough examination (or even comprehensive hindsight), but it WOULD suffice if one just had to fool a goon.
After doing all that, he left.
======
Hansel's pure white skin and golden hair would've made him stand out anywhere, weren't it for the fact he was wearing a thick dirt brown robe with heavy hood. As he left the stone building, and wound around the large city of Negav, finding his way to the place where he was staying, in the poorer part of the city.
He approached a small shack amongst many others. The owner was waiting, leaning against the door, doing her best to look imposing. But she was scared on the inside: that much was obvious. As long as she wasn't scared on the outside, it wouldn't be a problem, however.
He approached her large figure. She was very tall, six feet at least, and rather large. With the clean clothes she was wearing, however, she looked slightly out of place, even with the homeground advantage. To onlookers, Hansel would've been the landowner and she would be the one renting.
-So there you are...- she hissed.
Hansel didn't answer. He kept his face low, and nodded, a gesture visible through the hood.
-I need to get in.- he said, slowly.
-Hush, you leper!- she yelled.- You owe me money!
-I've already paid my rent for this week.
-That was LAST WEEK'S rent. You owe me rent for THIS week.- she claimed, leaning down to make it obvious she was taller than him. He didn't budge an inch.- You got that?
He shook his head.
-I don't have money on myself at the moment...
-'kay, that's all I needed to hear. I'll just take your stuff, then...
-I only need to take my equipment, that's all.
-Equipment? Is that what you kids are calling it those days? Hah!- she completed, advancing one full step. He didn't budge.- What's the matter, you want to stand up to me, pipsqueak?
-I only need to take my equipment.- he replied.- Let me in, and I'll leave.
-Oh, zip that!- she snarled.- Like I didn't know you glued the chest shut.
-How would you know that without...?- he asked. He asked rhetorically. But it didn't make her back off.
-Shut up. None of your business. Get out, and be glad I didn't call the neighbors...
Hansel raised his head. Only enough for her to see the contempt in his mouth under the hood. Then he projected his hand, swiftly, towards her throat, and pushed her against the door. It wasn't easy, she was very big, but he was, quite literally, a hell hard bastard.
-Call the neighbors to evict me. I challenge you.
Her mouth wriggled a little.
-Why don't you just get out while you still can? I've seen more than my fair share of lowlifes. And I'm still here; that should tell you everything...
-That's none of my business. Let me in. Now.- he growled, showing his large canines.
-No. You think I'm scared of some lowlife like you? Well, check this: I'm not. There's nothing you can... NO!- she suddenly opened her eyes very wide as he acted out his answer.
He pulled out a switchblade from his pocket with his free hand, and swung it at her throat. She summoned whatever strength she could, and managed to push him away. But as she tried to push the offensive, with a kick to the chest, he swung the blade in her general direction, and for a moment she had a glimpse of sanity. She shrieked as loud as she could, running away. That gave him... half a minute before someone arrived, and that was all he needed. So he tried to open the door, and when he discovered it finally had a lock (probably the reason why she was so insistent on collecting the money), he used another tactic and tore the whole cheap door off its hinges with three powerful kicks.
He got in, and walked up to the bedroom door. It was open, luckily. But so was, he discovered from the threshold, the chest where he kept his things, which was now as empty as the room. And he had glued it shut! He shook his head, and approached the window. Obviously, it had happened quite some time ago. That meant he had just got on the wrong side of the law for no good reason. Oh, well, crap happened all the time. If he ever found her again, he'd just have to slit her throat for real, and that'd be it.
So he just jumped out of the window, and left, calmly. It wasn't like they had gotten anything important. His steps took him to a tavern. One with a shadowy corner where someone could draw all the attention, leaving people to ignore the man reading by the window.
======
Once at the tavern, he walked up to the bar, ordered a full whiskey bottle (for which he DID part with his money), walked up to an empty table, sat down with the whiskey and opened the envelope. Then he pulled out his orders.
He kept reading. And expectedly, his technique to hide in plain sight failed: someone sat in the table opposite him.
-What's that you're reading?- she asked.
Unlike his slum lord, this voice sounded like something he'd want to remember. He raised his gaze to meet hers.
She was the same woman from the library. And something about her black eyes was at the same time mesmerizing and terrifying. But she seemed kind enough, and her smile was genuine.
"And that's a pity, because you've just signed your death sentence." he thought, smiling himself. She saw his eyes, his brown eyes in his pale face. And a few locks of his golden hair.
-You're awfully pale.- she commented.
-I know.- he answered, grinning.- So what brings you here?
-Well, I saw a lonely guy at the bar. You can do the math.- she tilted her head.
-Oh.- Hansel replied, raising his eyebrows. Then he blinked, studying the curve of her neck. He smiled, relaxing his eyes, as he saw her yugular vein beating. He also had an idea where the carotid artery was.
-If you want to keep ogling me, you'd better buy me a drink.- she chuckled.
"How audacious, dear..." he thought. Then he took the bottle of whiskey.
-Isn't it a bit early for whiskey?- she asked.
-It's five o' clock.- he answered.- Come on, you only live once.
-Okay... but you've got to match. I wouldn't want to be taken advantage of.- she answered, grinning.
Hansel studied her, again. He'd deign himself remember her. She had black eyes, and wavy, black hair, over tan skin, and features that, despite they seemed awfully common, were still cute. She wore a sleeveless shirt, he could see a tattoo on her shoulder. It looked like something important... he'd find out what it was sooner or later. She had thin, pink lips, and arms that, despite not being bulky, had sufficient tone for him to believe she would be able to defend herself. Until he changed that, of course...
-Of course, I'll match.- he said, smiling, then turning to his papers again.
She poured herself a shot. Then she put the glass to her pink, thin lips, and let it flow in. Keeping it in her mouth for a moment, she took a deep breath for no reason, and then swallowed. He saw a small, suggestive bulge move down her throat, and then kept reading.
-Your turn.- she pointed. He nodded.
-Of course...- he poured himself a shot, and then gulped it down, his eyes tearing up as the liquid seared down his throat.
She poured herself another one. He was almost ready to follow her mouth again, but he had to memorize his orders.
-So what's that you're reading?- she asked.
-It's my secret mission.- he answered.
-Oh.- she answered, gulping it down.- Your turn.
He put down the paper for a moment, and then served himself another shot. At that moment, he remembered he had forgot to give himself an advantage... he was drinking on an empty stomach, and she might not be. Also he didn't know how great her endurance for alcohol was; she could surpass him for all he knew.
-Can I read it?- she asked.
-Sure. Why not?- he said, slightly alcoholized, handing her over the first page.- Give it back when you're done.
She read that.
-Wow, you could get in trouble from showing me this.
-They know better than to dull my style.- he boasted.
She kept reading, her face relaxing. Now, seeing her reading, that was a sight. She looked so peaceful as she gulped down another shot with a smile.
-Your turn.- she said. He pretended read the second page, which was mostly empty. It was a short mission. Sounded... deceivingly short. Probably it could be that short, too. As he finished, he gulped down another shot. And shivered.
-You don't hold your alcohol too well, do you?- she asked, smug. At that time, maybe it was the alcohol, but she seemed... interested... in him. No, no doubt she'd hold her liquor better than him. He needed the advantage. And she gave it to him.
-Pass me the other page.- she said. He did so, and then grabbed the first page. He crumpled it up into a doily, and swallowed it, aided with a little alcohol. She looked at him, surprised.
-Why'd you do that?
-It's top secret.- he smiled, patting his belly.- Now no one will find it.
"Also this ink absorbs alcohol." he thought.
-You're afraid of losing to me?- she asked, grinning. Her teeth were very white, very perfect. For some reason, he found that unnerving.
-I wouldn't want to lose the opportunity.- he admitted, smiling sheepishly.
She nodded.
-It's okay, I had a small bowl of baked peanuts before you even got here.- she shrugged.- Besides, you want to take advantage of me. It's okay, you're a guy. I'll even take it as a compliment.- she smiled.- But to succeed... you need one important thing: my name.
-And what's your name?- he asked.
-Yours first.- she smiled.
-I'm Hansel.
-Nice to meet you, Hansel. I'm Kaede.
-Kaede? Quite the exotic name... anyway, it's your turn.
She poured herself another shot, handing him over the second page, and looking at him, resting her head on her hand and her elbow on the table. Then she drank the shot. He looked inside the paper envelope.
-You aren't going to eat that one too?- she asked, smiling.
He raised an eyebrow. Then he drank a shot.
[...]
By the twelfth shot, he had succeeded. She was giddy, and he was not. Of course, this hadn't been without consequences. He was seeing double. But at least he was self-aware.
-So... you are... an adventurer?- she giggled.
-I don't know...- he smiled.- Yes. I'm an adventurer... and you, girls?- he asked the two girls he was going to kill when they left.
-We are an adventurer too.- they answered.- I'm a good shot with a bow, and you?
-I'd say... I'm... I'm a...- he shrugged, and giggled.- I don't know...
-Geez, aren't we drunk...- she grinned.- Excuse me, I need some fresh air...- she added, getting up.- Be right back, don't go away!- she stumbled up, and left for the door to the back alley.
He smiled and waved as she did. Then, when she was already past the door, he grabbed his switchblade again. Then he walked up to the bar.
-I... already... had paid, right?- he struggled to ask.
-Yes, mister, you did.- the barkeep answered.
-Good.- he answered, approaching the back door. He opened it, felt a rush of cold dusk air on his face, pushed a button on the switchblade... and looked around. It was an alley closed off by a fence, but oddly enough, she was nowhere to be found.
-Kaede?- he asked.- Kaede?
No one answered. He checked behind the dumpster... nothing. The trash inside it was compact and hadn't been bothered recently. The fence door was locked. He turned around, violently, sort of hoping for her to have fallen on top of him. But she hadn't. She had just disappeared.
He grunted for a moment and then hid his switchblade again. Way to go and make a fool of him. Once in the tavern again, he ordered a quadruple espresso with extra sugar, and after gulping it down, he left for the second phase: planning out the expedition.
And from the rooftop, a dark-haired and black-eyed woman looked down on the alley. She was obviously winded, and as the man went into the back door again, she slumped on the roof, and took deep, shallow breaths. That had been difficult... and those were false orders, but now she knew his face.
======
All along the way to the Adventurers' Guild again, he was fully expecting Kaede to appear, or the city guard to apprehend him for assault. But neither of those things happened, and he found his way to the library once more. There was people in there now, but that was okay. He wasn't carrying secret documents this time.
So he just picked up a few books: a book about maps, a book about places in those maps, and a book about the inhabitants of the places in those maps.
"I seriously hope my judgement isn't compromised by alcohol. I don't have any time to rest, with her knowing about me, and probably I don't have any place to rest, either. She either is after me, or after the same goal as I am. We'll know for sure soon enough... the shortest route would be through the Chidokai Forest. Sounds cute."
He then checked what he had to learn about Chidokai forest.
"Ohh, so it's a rainforest, inhabited by... oh, crap."
He shook his head.
"Okay, let's see those plants! There's a tree whose roots can kill me. There's a creeper that fires spikes that can kill me. There's a... this one can be subverted by just having a gas mask or a bottle of water. There's a creeper that can eat me. There's a... ridiculous! A fruit that can eat me?"
"The forest fauna, on the other hand... is downright unbelievable. Looks like the Chidokai forest has quite a diverse fauna... as expected of a rainforest. Thankfully, no one's going to try and save the tonorions. By the way, everything here is beyond my power. Every single thing! I'd better not try to be a hero."
He checked inside the paper envelope again. There was a trade letter in there.
"Good, my man!" he grinned. That trade letter was worth eight rubies. Enough... to hire and arm six people. Counting on that...
[...]
After considering a total of 24 targets and 8 different possible environments to meet them, depending on whether they were on the ground, or on a branch, or on the water, or near the water, with or without foliage above them, Hansel arrived at a simple conclussion: alone he'd perish (he didn't write any strategies, however). And he'd need plenty of firepower. Stealth was a given requirement, but it would fail, sooner or later, and there were 24 different things it could fail against. All of which were horrible thoughts to meet, even able to get the drop on them. He also had read that there were several of them against which stealth would invariably fail...
so he had to plan accordingly.
Among his notes, it read:
-Watch out for the claws. You can avoid the worst of the claw by having some measures of poison proofing. Then again, you don't want to get hit in the first place. They don't read as tree climbers; stay up, and you should have ample warning when they come.
-Buckshot. To the eyes.
-Avoid dark, wet places. Use mortar shot against them when they're flying.
-Keep your clothes loose for warning; if they still catch you, they're small enough for you to reach the brain.
-If you see fruits on the ground, buckshot may not suffice. Use sabot.
-Kill it. Duh.
-Avoid tonorions; they're too fast and you couldn't hit them with a rocket launcher.
-Avoid water, stay anchored away from the ground. If everything else fails and time is short, poison the water already.
-This looks like a job for grenade launchers.
-Smaller specimens may be killed with small weapons; larger specimens are best avoided, there seems to be no good way to beat them.
-No weaknesses. They're using feelers and vibrations; percussion instruments and tanned hide might do a good job. Preemptive attacks are impossible; focus on being able to at least recyprocate the attention.
-Make sure you're seen using fire and they'll try not to wake you.
-Don't get eaten if you see one.
-Alcalinize their stomach or acidify their skin to turn their bodies to saltwater.
-Watch out for illusions, specially near water. If you hear singing, whip out the good stuff. Then kill them.
-Don't walk under egg-shaped pods.
-Easily identified. Avoid them, or spray them with fire.
-Test the ground with a stick.
-Keep a bottle of mineral water and bottle of sulphuric acid on yourself.
-Keep an antidote on hand. Then spray it with fire.
-Avoid glowing flowers.
-Don't touch the ground.
-Kill it with fire.
-If it catches you, kiss your ass goodbye.
Then he re-read his notes, and jotted down some other notes.
-Predator sense eats mages in their sleep.
-Many of these seem avoidable.
-For a good number of them, however, fire will do a good job.
-And two of them seem vulnerable to shotgun fire.
-Therefore, I'd say my best bet would be to get myself a sawed-off shotgun, high-powered buckshot and some phosphoric rounds.
-Also I'll need a stick, some rope, and a bottle of mineral water.
-A person capable of using a firearm effectively, however, would be mandatory with the shotgun...
Yes, he actually drew a face on his notes. After a relatively large pause, he kept making notes.
-I could learn to actually use a shotgun myself one of those days.
-Don't stock up too much; pack mules aren't really sneaky.
-You're forgetting something important. You didn't count the extra underwear you'll need, one for every encounter.
-And clean socks, lots of clean socks. Two for each day, at least, you don't want to get cold feet.
-Considering everything's out to kill you, you better think carefully how do you plan to get rest.
-I need a good glass of warm milk. And a few bands of C4 if I'm caught. Or a suitcase nuke, too.
He stopped for a moment, and took a deep breath. Then he blinked, slowly.
-I think the espresso's starting to fail me... what time is it? I'm tired.
-Geez, did I actually write all of that? I must be getting sleepy.
When he had that jot down, his eyes watered. Then he yawned, and leaned down for just a moment. Everything was still blurry, the alcohol was starting to gain against the coffee, and he was doubting his judgement too much. Finally, he slumped on top of the book. He woke up shortly afterwards, realizing he was a lot sleepier than he thought he was. So he closed the book, and grabbed his notes. Tomorrow they'd certainly look silly, but he could live with that. If he used those notes, he wouldn't make it to Frost Peak alive. Matter of fact, he wasn't sure he'd get to the gates of Negav alive. So after finding out it was 3:00 AM and the location of a nearby inn, he went to a bank, cashed in his note, and left for the inn, while half-alive, half-asleep. By the time he got to a bed, he dropped like a sack of potatoes, sidewards on his bed, with his rear pointed up, without even having time to take off his dirty robe. Sleep was highly welcome, but still played hard to get with him.
======
He was again in a bar. But something was different this time. The bar was enormous: the ceiling was at least fifty feet tall, and instead of an enclosed space, the bar was in a balcony, with steel columns criscrossed with beautiful, flowery vines between him and the ample, luxurious natural scenery; luxurious, red, comfortable seats, in front of him the table was made of smooth, burnished oak, with a glass vase full of flowers, and instead of his strange robe, he was wearing a white leisure suit. He was reading, yes, but he was reading a travel brochure. And come to think of it, he was smoking in a pipe.
-So you're new in this world?- she asked. He looked up at her, she was approaching his table to sit down. She had raven black hair, black eyes, tan skin, and wore a yellow cocktail dress. He nodded, putting away his pipe for a moment.
-Yes I am.- he answered, in a manner improper for himself.- My name's Schön. James Schön. And you may be?- he asked, leaning in and stretching a hand. Why was he doing that?
She put her hand in his. He kissed her hand.
-My name is Kaede.- she answered, with a confident smile. Her eyes were so peaceful, her teeth so square, so white, so perfect.- So what brings you to my dominions? Business, or pleasure?
"Business. I have a mission here." he thought. "I'll have to kill you after telling you that." But his mouth was not his own.
-I'm here on paid vacation.- he smiled, just as confidently.- I've just struck it big at the stocks, so I'm enjoying myself for a while.
"No, I'm not... this isn't the kind of lie I'd tell..." he thought. "I'm not myself, this is wrong!"
Everything seemed to fade away for a moment. Just a moment.
-You're enjoying yourself.- she nodded, raising her eyes, amazed.- In Felarya? You must be quite the man of action, then...- she put a finger to the corner of her lips. That drew his attention to her lips. Boy were they sexy. Thin, pink, lively, flexible, every virtue he could think of, they had it. Those lips were worth dying for.
He chuckled in response.
-Let's say I am.- he answered, leaning back and cracking his neck.
-Sir, here's the drink you requested.- a comely young lady said, placing a silver tray on the table. He looked at the wine... something was oddly familiar about that white wine. He grabbed it, and looked at the tag.
-Oh, look at this.- he said. Then he noticed something under his glove... that was not his skin. He was not dreaming about himself, he was someone else. But he couldn't discern the tone, his eyes were focused on the wine.- Hansel Schön, a harvest 33 years old.
-So who do I have to sleep with to get you to invite me a drink?- she asked, with mock anger on her tone. He knew it was false... there was a smile on her lips. A smile, the most important beauty accesory for both lady and gentleman. And hers suited her figure nicely.
-Hahahaha!- he laughed. It wasn't funny. But his laughter seemed genuine... he uncorked the bottle, and poured Hansel into her cup. She took the cup, sampled the wine, shook it a little, and then took a little sip. She clicked her tongue on her palate a couple times... running shivers through his entire body. Then she finally swallowed; he felt himself drowning for a moment, and then penetrated by warmth. She looked at the cup, and shook it again, before drinking the entire cup, slowly. Hansel first felt the caress of her lips, so soothing, but then he felt his insides roll around; it was strangely painless, yet disturbing, knowing her tongue was finding its way to every drop of his being. Afterwards, everything was warm, too warm; with each inhalation, the air outside was as hot as his own blood. He began to sweat... and everything turned dark.
-The wine's good...- he heard her say.- But it's nothing special...
Subject: Hansel VS Felarya 
Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:25 pm
