My stories and characters

Karbo · Evil admin Posts: 1665 Join date: 2007-12-08

GREGOLE wrote:

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I think that was a terrible and very unfair critique >>

Little developped characters ? Well they are among the most developped I ever seen in Felarya stories with each time a psyche of their own. When I read about them I immediatly care about them and it makes the stories all the more intense and powerful.

And nothing interesting ? I am puzzled on this one. Really.
For me his stories are full of very memorable scenes, the kind you remind long after you finished to read the story.

Criticism is fair but this... it's something else. It's not constructive at all. Those are words that seem made to hurt and discourage , eventhough I know you enough to know it's not the case...

GREGOLE · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:09 pm

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I think that was a terrible and very unfair critique >>

Yes, well, at least one of us has taken the time and effort to put together a thorough and detailed critique at all. And I wasn't the least bit rude about it, so I think I'm completely justified.

If I didn't know you better, which I don't, I'd suspect you might just be upset that someone disagrees with you so strongly. You clearly have a lot of fondness for these stories.

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Little developped characters ? Well they are among the most developped I ever seen in Felarya stories with each time a psyche of their own. When I read about them I immediatly care about them and it makes the stories all the more intense and powerful.

Yes, well, I strongly disagree.

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And nothing interesting ? I am puzzled on this one. Really.
For me his stories are full of very memorable scenes, the kind you remind long after you finished to read the story.

And for me they're repetitive and anti-climactic, with very little lasting character development that doesn't involve vore.

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Criticism is fair but this... it's something else. It's not constructive at all.

Further evidence that you're just upset that I don't love them like you do. I think I was VERY constructive, seeing as how I addressed exactly what I thought the problem was and offered some encouragement where I thought it was needed.

I'd love to hear what your idea of "constructive" criticism is.

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Those are words that seem made to hurt and discourage , eventhough I know you enough to know it's not the case...

If you know I'm not meaning to hurt or discourage, and Frenchsnack knows it as well, then exactly what are you getting at?

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I'm way too tired and (for reasons that have nothing to do with you) tense and frustrated right now to give you a detailed reply, so I'll keep it brief.

You call THAT brief? Who are you? Zalzas?

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First, thanks for taking the time to comment. It's always appreciated.

Well, at least someone does.

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So when you say "There's no adventure, no REAL character development, nothing but vore", it gives me something to think about, but I can only agree with the first part. I don't really do "adventure" (except to a limited extent). It's just not my thing. I prefer character interaction. (Heck, my latest story is exclusively character interaction; absolutely nothing happens, except a succession of three dialogues: Milly/Teccri; Isham/Joanna; Milly/Isham.) I disagree with your assessment that there's no character development and nothing but vore. Maybe we're not looking for the same kind of character development; I don't know. If you're looking for adventure, action and plot in that sense, you'll rarely find it in what I write. That's by design. I focus more on characters interacting, talking with one another - and, yes, sometimes responding to outside events. But other readers seem to find some of my characters interesting and developed, to some extent at least, which suggests that they're seeing something there which you're not seeing. I've had comments to which I was able to reply: "Yes, that's exactly what I was trying to do with that character".

You mistake "adventure" for swords and sorcery.

Adventure is vital to Felarya. It's the sense that the world around is huge and untamed, and that anything could happen. It's the mystique and wonder. The manga does it. Several stories do it. These stories don't.

The problem is, they're predictable. It builds up some potential for it, such as the Felarya Express, our late Zoekin-character or the platoon that Viv and Namesta took out. But none of it is explored properly. It all becomes a vore-fest really quickly.

This "character development" is something I hear a lot about, but I see nothing of. If by "character development" you mean small humans finding out that they're considered food, or predators arguing about whether or not to eat someone, yeah there's that. And... prettymuch nothing else. There's nothing that doesn't immediately relate to vore.

Now, Jissy has SOME, though VERY little that I haven't seen at least twice before. It's all very stale and worn out, in my opinion.

I'm not saying the stories are WHOLLY without interesting character interaction. It's all just buried beneath mountains and mountains of vore that invariably steals the spotlight.

I'd just keep experimenting if I were you. You have the potential, you're just not exploring it.

_________________
"Also I agree with Gregole. He's always right."

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:37 pm

Karbo wrote:

Little developped characters ? Well they are among the most developped I ever seen in Felarya stories with each time a psyche of their own. When I read about them I immediatly care about them and it makes the stories all the more intense and powerful.

And nothing interesting ? I am puzzled on this one. Really.
For me his stories are full of very memorable scenes, the kind you remind long after you finished to read the story.

Thank you. That's very encouraging, and means a lot to me. Smile

Getting readers to empathise with my characters, and care about what happens to them, really is one of my primary aims.

GREGOLE wrote:

Adventure is vital to Felarya. It's the sense that the world around is huge and untamed, and that anything could happen. It's the mystique and wonder.

True. I've often thought of writing about areas "beyond the map". I started once; I had a whole story planned out that would take characters through Deeper Felarya (developing it along the way), and beyond. I only wrote a few paragraphs, and then stopped. I'm not sure why. Sometimes, my drive to write a particular story simply stalls. I've also thought of writing about life on another continent, and people from there visiting the "main continent". I may still do so. (These stories would hold no pretension at being canon, of course.) But it's not something I intend to go into in the immediate future.

Of course, I did write about Yshwi on Frost Peak, with an aim to emphasise that Felarya isn't all jungles - there's also a harsh mountain face where life is very different. But Yshwi was a one-off, by definition, given how isolated she is.

On the "mystique and wonder", hugeness and untamed aspect of the mapped section... That's also something I've thought about. (But then, I think about many things, and lack the time to put them all in writing. I discard most of the story ideas that come to me, as being unsatisfactory for various reasons, and put a lot of others on an indefinite backburner.) I may try to give it more emphasis through my tomthumb characters. One of my few attempts as looking into something a bit different so far was my story set on the banks of the Lake of Illusions. That came, in great part, from a wish to develop an interesting setting which was rarely used.

Having said all that, the way my characters have defined themselves, they're not particularly adventurous. Milly, Tina and Joanna have a permanent home. Elaya stays on 'safe' territory for the most part. Vuni is very much sedentary.

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The problem is, they're predictable.

That's not a universally shared opinion, since other readers have told me they experienced suspense reading some of my stories.

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This "character development" is something I hear a lot about, but I see nothing of. If by "character development" you mean small humans finding out that they're considered food, or predators arguing about whether or not to eat someone, yeah there's that. And... prettymuch nothing else. There's nothing that doesn't immediately relate to vore.

Now, Jissy has SOME, though VERY little that I haven't seen at least twice before. It's all very stale and worn out, in my opinion.

I'm not saying the stories are WHOLLY without interesting character interaction. It's all just buried beneath mountains and mountains of vore that invariably steals the spotlight.

I'm sorry you feel the vore "steals the spotlight". I do find it interesting that it seems that way to you, but I must also bear in mind that, to other people, it clearly doesn't.

I deliberately didn't give my characters much of a background because I was more interested in exploring the lives of ordinary people who, through interaction with their setting and one another, would reveal touches of their own personality and mindframe. The only exception is Jissy, with her specific history. Milly had an ordinary and overall happy childhood (which, admittedly, I've not gone into yet). On the whole, I simply don't like seeing masses of characters with traumatic pasts, nursing a deep sense of grief and thirsting for revenge or that sort of stuff. For many years, I was in a (non-vore) rolepalying / writing community, and I was dismayed at the number of new writers who tried to join with a character whose parents had died in tragic circumstances in their youth. It left me with a distaste for "out of the ordinary" (yet distessingly monotonous) character histories. I prefer to take a character who grew up with no trauma whatsoever, and see what I can make of her. (All right, Elaya's mother was eaten when she was a baby, but that was little more than a minor plot device.)

So to sum up... I may look into using more aspects of the Felaryan setting, and emphasising its wonder, diversity and so on. I'm thrilled that Karbo is doing so with his artwork, and I'm hoping it will help the community as a whole branch out into new parts of the map (so to speak), as well as bear in mind the overall "mystique" and "feel" of Felarya. As I mentioned, I've tried to do so with the Lake of Illusions and Frosty Peak, and maybe I'll do so again.

But to a large extent character interaction, within the specific Felaryan setting, remains my "thing". And I've been told my writing does convey a "Felaryan feel", so clearly what I'm doing isn't disastrously wrong. Maybe we have different views on what constitutes a "Felaryan feel". Despite the impression you may have, mine doesn't revolve solely around vore, far from it - and a number of people who've read my stories do seem to realise that. I'm genuinely sorry that my stories don't fit your preferences, but (and I'm sorry if this sounds immodest in any way) there is clearly something in them that others are seeing and that you're not. It comes down to different expectations and preferences, I suppose.

For now, I'm probably going to continue my "Lost in Felarya" series, with its emphasis on exploring the stories and personalities of human characters. There will continue to be vore in the series, but the focus will remain to a large extent on the characters - as it has done so far, in my view. Rajan's confrontation with Palaye, for example, contained vore, but I don't think anyone would say the vore "stole the spotlight" in that scene. It was very much about Rajan and Palaye as characters. Likewise, chapter 6 contained virtually no vore. For the main, it was about Michel and Chan as characters, as well as continuing Majed, Laila and Mohamed's interaction within their own setting - which contains no vore whatsoever. (To that extent, it's simply not true that there's "nothing that doesn't immediately relate to vore".)

I'll bear your comments in mind, as I will those of other readers. They've given me things to think about, particularly when they touched on themes I'd already been mulling over. I appreciate you having taken the time to comment... although I'd have appreciated it even more if you'd been able to acknowledge that, if other people see something positive in my stories, there might actually be something to them. Ultimately, while considering everyone's comments and suggestions, I'll be writing about what I enjoy writing about. I dare presume nobody would want it any other way.

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I'd just keep experimenting if I were you. You have the potential, you're just not exploring it.

Thank you... I think.

GREGOLE · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:54 pm

Yes well, since obviously I'm not allowed to have an opinion, I'll just leave it at that. I'll still check up on your stories now and then. Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I'm missing some vital entries or something.

_________________
"Also I agree with Gregole. He's always right."

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:28 pm

Lost in Felarya, chapter 8:
http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=174332

Karbo · Evil admin Posts: 1665 Join date: 2007-12-08

Great chapter ^_^

I really loved what you did with Lohal's personnality and the way he sees Felarya Razz

and Palaye Ftw ! XD

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:52 pm

Hehe... Thanks. Palaye didn't do much in this chapter, but she was useful when needed. lol!

timing2 · Moderator Posts: 117 Join date: 2009-06-29

It's one of your strengths – the character didn't do much but the little things she does truly stand out. Also, Rajan being so excitable next to Palaye's relative calm is funny at times, even if it’s unintentional. I can imagine so many things those two could get into later on.

Palaye/Rajan highlights:

Her warning the humans to be quiet - sensible advice they all too often ignore to their own peril. At some point, Rajan will probably come to realize this fully (I hope).
Rajan placing himself between the neko and Palaye when they threatened her. He would have done this with any of the survivors, but the fact that he is treating Palaye no differently than the humans says a lot about his character and hers.
The two staying together when the nekos were escorting the survivors to the prison encampment. That was seen through the eyes of Nishti in a single line of text, but it speaks volumes.
Palaye's reaction after the harpy attack.
And finally, her knocking down the neko guard at the end, which very likely saved someone from getting killed. As I said in the DA comment – go Palaye!

As you said, it’s not a lot. Even in the previous stories, she’s not a major character. However, the things she does make her a solid, and in my view at least, very likable, interesting character. I wouldn’t mind knowing more about her back-story, even if it only occurs in brief snippets.

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French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:50 am

timing2 wrote:

Also, Rajan being so excitable next to Palaye's relative calm is funny at times, even if it’s unintentional.

Rajan is pretty much out of his depth. Whereas Palaye, though she's on unfamiliar territory, grew up learning how to adapt and survive. Rajan may not be the best person to lead the survivors, and he knows it. It weighs on him. He's an airline pilot, after all, not a survival guide.

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I can imagine so many things those two could get into later on.

Heh. They're getting closer. We'll have to see whether they survive, though. Given where they're heading...

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Palaye/Rajan highlights:
[*]Her warning the humans to be quiet - sensible advice they all too often ignore to their own peril. At some point, Rajan will probably come to realize this fully (I hope).

He needs to become more authoritarian, I think, and drill a few basics into the survivors' heads.

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[*]Rajan placing himself between the neko and Palaye when they threatened her. He would have done this with any of the survivors, but the fact that he is treating Palaye no differently than the humans says a lot about his character and hers.

Yes, it probably does. He did it almost without thinking, too.

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[*]The two staying together when the nekos were escorting the survivors to the prison encampment. That was seen through the eyes of Nishti in a single line of text, but it speaks volumes.

They're sticking together. It started out as a practical measure. He was the survivors' leader, and she was the advisor, so naturally he was the person she would speak to the most. But little by little they've genuinely come to respect and like each other, despite some hesitation still (Rajan, obviously, isn't happy with the fact that she eats people, while Palaye remains dubious about his ability to adapt to Felarya).

One reason why Rajan stayed with her while they were being led to detention was to make sure the nekos didn't threaten her again. And by doing so, of course, he was no longer walking in the lead of the group.

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[*]And finally, her knocking down the neko guard at the end, which very likely saved someone from getting killed. As I said in the DA comment – go Palaye!

Hehe...

Yes, she probably did save someone there.

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As you said, it’s not a lot. Even in the previous stories, she’s not a major character. However, the things she does make her a solid, and in my view at least, very likable, interesting character. I wouldn’t mind knowing more about her back-story, even if it only occurs in brief snippets.

Thanks. She's not going to get a chapter of her own, but maybe we will learn a little bit more about her. I don't know yet; it'll depend on how it might fit in with the rest of the story.

timing2 · Moderator Posts: 117 Join date: 2009-06-29

Have faith in Palaye, she's a survivor! cheers

The concern will be Rajan, who is likely to get himself killed while futilely trying to save someone else. That I can see happening all too easily.

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French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:05 pm

Not sure whether to post in this forum or in the other one, but...

I may not have Internet access during the first three weeks of August. I've been working on chapter 9 of Lost in Felarya, but I doubt I'll get it finished by tomorrow. So, when I return, I'm hoping to:
* continue with Lost in Felarya;
* get started on a little adventure for Vuni;
* write about Milly, and how she's coping with her temporary humanless diet.

All coming... when I have time. Smile

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:02 pm

Just managed to find time to finish this. Chapter 9 of Lost in Felarya is up on Eka's. (I won't have time to add it to DA for now.)

http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=174803

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:18 pm

In the first of several ideas bobbing around my brain, here's the beginning of a new story about Vuni, my lovely little slug girl:

http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=175952

As always, it will be up on dA also, when I have time.

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:34 pm

Something simple but perhaps a little bit different to my usual stories:
"The Dridder & the Naga"

(Yes, I'm going soppy. So sue me. Razz

)

French snack · Subject: Re: My stories and characters Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:34 pm

A bit of silliness (for a change), inspired by a Karbo comic, and featuring Milly. Very Happy

"Angel and Demon"