This is a story i started to write about a year ago. Enjoy

http://mdbear84.deviantart.com/gallery/

Finally! At long last, the next chapter in my story is up. I am so glad I am on a roll again. Check it out!!!

(has just read intro)
Your writing style is good, butyou need to proof-read, a spellchecker isn't always correct.

ok, i went over it again and fixed some of it. Thanks for pointing that out to me. If you see anything else, let me know.

ok, so i made some grammatical corrections to the first two chapters thanks to my gf help. If you see anymore in those two, please let me know asap. Thanks.

So i have started writing chapter 4 of my story. Thing is, i could use some

this post may have some potential spoiler. SO BE CAREFUL!!!!

So i plan on using this chapter to give Guar some weapons and armor (kind of)

The weapons I have no problem with. If you want to know what they are, you'll just have to wait till the story is written

The armor is a bit more of a problem. He is already stronger than the average human. I figure his race is at least twice as strong as a human. and i was thinking of giving him a tunic that increases his strength as well as grant him normal eyesight. However, being that it also feeds off his aura, he could not use it indefinitely. Question is, though, by what factor does it increase his strength? Or should i nix that all together and choose another enhancement like speed or something.

I couldn't make up my mind so i decided to let my fans decide. any help would be nice. Thanks.

Chapter 4 is up and running. Everyone go check it out.

http://mdbear84.deviantart.com/art/Sanctuary-Ch-4-120619664

i would like to thank all those people who helped. please keep the comments coming. they make my story better.

Chapter 2 mistake:
The two new friends arrived at Crisis' normal sleeping spot. They had been talking the whole trip and it was completely dark by the time they reached it. But Crisis was not playing attention. She was too dumbfounded at what she had just herd.
should be:
The two new friends arrived at Crisis' normal sleeping spot. They had been talking the whole trip and it was completely dark by the time they reached it. But Crisis was not playing attention; She was too dumbfounded at what she had just heard.

He knew that Cobalt would fallow him and that he was most likely in the city now.
should be:
He knew that Cobalt would follow him and that he was most likely in the city now.

Chapter 3 mistakes:
Back in Negev City,
should be:
Back in Negav City,

Just thought I wound mention it incase there is some grain of truth in it.”
should be:
Just thought I would mention it in case there is some grain of truth in it.”

But what of our pray?
should be:
But what of our prey?

We fallowed his trail to the river and the tracer picked him up several clicks to the north-west of the city.
should be:
We followed his trail to the river and the tracer picked him up several clicks to the north-west of the city.

Chapter 4 mistakes:

Subeta flew in and Crisis fallowed with Guar in hand.
Should be:
Subeta flew in and Crisis followed with Guar in hand.

witch seemed to enhance the story to where each word was fallowed by a picture.
Should be:
which seemed to enhance the story to where each word was fallowed by a picture.

He suddenly leaped out of the palm he had been riding in and landed with a summersault and started to dig into the mound.
Should be:
He suddenly leaped out of the palm he had been riding in and landed with a somersault and started to dig into the mound.

So naturally, I can see those. I can smell the rest.
Should be:
So naturally, I can see those and I can smell the rest.

So i have been told that i need to create a bio for Guar and Cobalt. I would like to hear some of your opinions. So leave me a message here on the forum or PM me and tell me what you think. thanks.

I have decided to post the full story here on the forums as well as my DA account. That way, rather than having to click a link between each chapter, you can read the whole thing right here. Hope this makes yall happy.

Here it is, Sanctuary...

Intro

Felarya: A place of wonderment, healing, riches, and danger. Most consider it an adventurer’s dream. Others consider it a nightmare. Most come for treasure, some for the healing properties of the land, and others for the bounty on the creatures of Felarya. But the hero of our tale did not come to this mystical land between worlds for any of those reasons. In fact, he came simply by accident. But what he found here was not gold, nor health, nor bounty. It was something that no one before him came looking for nor found… Sanctuary.

The captain of the small fishing boat checked his course for the hundredth time. It was a mighty risk he was taking, trying to fish in the river by Fairy Pond. But he was confident that they would be safe, so long as he kept his wits about him. And his guess was right anyway, proven by the large load of Felarian fish they had on deck. They were even lucky enough to catch a few Jewel Fish. They were now heading back home to Negiv City to sell their catch. But that would be the easy part. The hard part would be to get back home. He could tell the crew was nervous. And who could blame them? With a crew of eight, (four humans and four nekos) and their heading to be south past “Her” hunting grounds, and her favorite food being humans and nekos, it would be safe to say that everyone was on the alert. Even taking the tunnel they found at the Lake of Illusions would be dangerous. But, if they survived, it would definitely be worth it.

After a few more hours of sailing down the river, They came upon the second fork. Now was the most cautious point in their trip. “She” would be near and there was no telling how close she would be if they came within earshot. They had to be sure to be quiet. However, as they rounded the bend, they saw a figure sitting on the north cost of the river. The fool, the captain thought, he’s gonna’ get himself killed. As they approached the figure, they saw he was fishing as well, a small campfire by his side. Fearing the fire might draw unwanted attention, the captain risked calling out to him.
“Ahoy! You on the shore! Leave this area.” The figure made no movement. He simply continued fishing. As they got closer, they could see that the figure wore a hooded cloak, the hood deeply drawn over his face. The captain called again, “Ahoy! I say again, shove off. For your own safety and ours, man, move!” This time, the stranger merely waved at them, neither looking up from his fishing rod, nor removing his hood. “I heard you the first time, boy-o,” he replied with a slight irish accent, “I’ll be fine” The captain shook his head, “Nay, friend. There be a blond monster in them trees. She catches you, you’re as good as eaten, ya hear?” The stranger nodded, “Aye, and again I say, I’ll be fine. I be a hard one to catch.”

The captain sighed and shook his head. “Fine, fool. Be her next meal. I not be putting my neck on the line to save your sorry hide.” He then looked over to his crew, “Sail on. Let this fool die in the belly of the monster.” They continued to sail around the bend. As the coast and the figure upon it vanished, the captain looked back with a slight smile on his face. “Good luck to ya, ya crazy dingbat,” he quietly said to himself.

Several hours later, Crisis laid on the shore of the river, enjoying her latest catch. A human/neko fishing boat had hit a rock in the river and had to come ashore for reapers (unbeknownst to her, it was the same fishing boat who had encountered the stranger). There was only one human left, the captain. As she lifted him up to eat him, he began to plea. “Please, hear me out!” Of course, Crisis could not resist. “Ok” she said joyfully, still prone on her back. She dangled him above her face still, ready to drop in at a moments notice. “I’ll make a deal with you,” the captain begged. “If you spare my life, I’ll tell ya where a nice, tastier, bigger meal may be. We’s passed ‘em about a half mile up river, as the harpy flies” Crisis thought for a minute, considering, or at least acting like she was considering, the captain’s words. “A tastier meal, hmm?” she brought the captain down and licked him over.

“You’re rather tasty, yourself. Are you sure he will taste better?” The captain, spitting her spit out of his mouth, nodded fiercely. “Oh yes, I am sure of it. And, might I add that ya look rather lovely in the light of the setting sun?” Crisis blushed a bit, “Why thank you. For that, you get a kiss” Crisis brought him down to her face, puckering up her lips. But just when he was about to make contact, she quickly opened her mouth and dropped him in. She swallowed quickly, enjoying his struggling as he slid down her throat and into her belly with his comrades. All their struggling together made her giggle a bit. “Now,” she said “to find the one he was talking about.” She sat up and began to slither through the trees, looking for any signs of the stranger.