The Legacy of Kailer

Well for those already familiar with the story, you can post questions or comments for it on here, for those of you who haven't heard of it, allow me to give you a summary:

The Legacy of Kailer is a planned 50 chapter epic tale that follows the struggle between Kailer and the world of Felarya.

Each chapter deals around 9-10 pages of literature for your reading pleasure, packed with wonderful detail and and lively characters, so real you can almost witness the scene as it takes place.

The Legacy of Kailer starts off with an Earthling preparing for a normal day until a dimensional rift opens taking him into the world of Felarya. Upon entering the world, Kailer is forever changed by the soul of the menacing and evil pyre mage Kraizen. Kailer is greeted by voracious predators in this incredible world and must do everything he can to survive. With the influence of a madman raging through him from within, and predators around every corner ready to devour him at any moment, Kailer must use every bit of will-power, knowledge, and skill to survive this harsh and unforgivable world for the human race. Will Kailer find his way back home? Or will he become just another helpless victim to the giant and sexy predators of Felarya? Keep reading and find out!

All of my chapters can be found on my website at The Legacy of Kailer @ deviantART.

Or for you lazy bastards (yea I'm one of them, don't take it personally) here are direct links to each chapter:

~TLOK~ Chapter I: The Beginning

~TLOK~ Chapter II: Kailer's Emergence

~TLOK~ Chapter III: Allies

~TLOK~ Chapter IV: la Luna del cacciatore (Hunter's Moon)

~TLOK~ Chapter V: Friend or Foe?

~TLOK~ Chapter VI: Life with the Nekos

~TLOK~ Chapter VII: The Trials

~TLOK~ Chapter VIII: Drafted

~TLOK~ Chapter IX: First Dawn

Future Chapters; January 2008 Releases:

Chapter X: Evernight Jungle

Chapter XI: Perilous Trails

Chapter XII: The Delurans

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All forms of critique are encouraged, as this is my first attempt at writing such a massive story, one of my future goals is to become a famous writer and this will be the first step I take. So don't be afraid, I don't bash anyone unless of course you feel like trolling or just want to be an ass, which I've been down that path before, trust me, I'll come down hard on you if you intend to try such actions.

Well everyone, that's about all I have to say for now. Hope you all enjoy the story ^^

I haven't yet.

It does sound interesting, though. You really know how to make an opening with this story.

Pendragon wrote:

I haven't yet.

It does sound interesting, though. You really know how to make an opening with this story.

Thank you, I hope you enjoy it ^^

I think this is a great story

It is nicely told with nice descriptions and characters ^_^
If I must say a critique, I think you could work further to give your character more uniques personnality, with maybe more flaws that make them more "humans".
And, but this one is just a personnal suggestion, put them more in danger by making one of the important one dying... So the reader think that all can happen and tremble more for them

Karbo wrote:

I think this is a great story

It is nicely told with nice descriptions and characters ^_^
If I must say a critique, I think you could work further to give your character more uniques personnality, with maybe more flaws that make them more "humans".
And, but this one is just a personnal suggestion, put them more in danger by making one of the important one dying... So the reader think that all can happen and tremble more for them

Well thanks Karbo, that means a lot ^^

As for adding more flaws to make him seem more 'human', would you have any suggestions as to what kind? I've made his powers come at a heavy price and they are to only be used for limited times. The rest of the times he truly is just a human. I'm just curious as to what you would suggest or hell, anyone for that matter. I just can't too much away otherwise I'd just be rewriting the whole story, know what I mean? XD

Thanks for the critique though, to be honest, I can't get enough of it XD

Fifty chapters? Goddamn. Good luck with the writing.

Sorry I badly choose my words, I meant giving your characters more specific personnality with particular traits / flaws or so that make them stand as uniques