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 Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures

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Zephyr102
Solomon
AzureJass
eusuna
parameciumkid
hhhat09
W-3-K
zersergathant
Pendragon
Stabs
walkingbyself
Oldman40k2003
space_samurai
TheLightLost
Anime-Junkie
Archmage_Bael
Warrior3000
Reptillian
Nyaha
23 posters
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Do you think my latest character works for Felarya, being a robot?
Yes, I really like her! ^_^
Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_lcap33%Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_rcap
 33% [ 5 ]
Generally Felarya isn't the place for automatons, but you've done relatively well fitting her in.
Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_lcap20%Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_rcap
 20% [ 3 ]
Eh, I suppose...
Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_lcap20%Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_rcap
 20% [ 3 ]
I don't think Felarya is the place for futuristic robots.
Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_lcap7%Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_rcap
 7% [ 1 ]
Kill it with fire!
Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_lcap20%Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Vote_rcap
 20% [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 15
 
Poll closed

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Archmage_Bael
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Dec 14, 2010 12:59 pm

okay, well I tend to not to like naming people with references to cliched manliness, or that would bring up similarities to anime characters (such as Kira/Light from deathnote of which everyone is aware probably).

Aside from that, Michael has a lot of weapons. knives aren't that much of a problem because you can carry them in socks, jackets, and such, but 3 katanas is a little over kill. Also the fact that you say he's kinda stupid makes me wonder how he's survived in felarya this whole time. It's an interesting idea you have though.

Can't really see anything wrong with Kira tho~

If you're planning on writing stories, shorter bios are reccommended, because you dont want to get to constricted to stay within the bounds that you already created for your chacter, since it's better to flesh out a character through writing than an actual bio.
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Anime-Junkie
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Dec 14, 2010 1:05 pm

Quote :
Aside from that, Michael has a lot of weapons. knives aren't that much of a problem because you can carry them in socks, jackets, and such, but 3 katanas is a little over kill.
This. It's more than overkill, it's just silly. There is no way someone is going to be carrying that much. That'll impede him far too much, he'll never use it all.

Quote :

If you're planning on writing stories, shorter bios are reccommended, because you dont want to get to constricted to stay within the bounds that you already created for your chacter, since it's better to flesh out a character through writing than an actual bio.
I disagree here. It depends on what part of the character you're fleshing out. Bios can be changed easily anyway.
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Reptillian
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Dec 15, 2010 10:04 am

Anime-Junkie wrote:
Quote :

If you're planning on writing stories, shorter bios are reccommended, because you dont want to get to constricted to stay within the bounds that you already created for your chacter, since it's better to flesh out a character through writing than an actual bio.
I disagree here. It depends on what part of the character you're fleshing out. Bios can be changed easily anyway.
and people like me who has a shitty memory, can use a fleshed out bios as a a good reminder.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Dec 15, 2010 3:41 pm

Anime-Junkie wrote:
Quote :
Aside from that, Michael has a lot of weapons. knives aren't that much of a problem because you can carry them in socks, jackets, and such, but 3 katanas is a little over kill.
This. It's more than overkill, it's just silly. There is no way someone is going to be carrying that much. That'll impede him far too much, he'll never use it all.

It's supposed to be silly. ;3 You should get to know me better.

*EDIT: updated Michael's bio a smidge according to the feedback.
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Archmage_Bael
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Dec 16, 2010 12:14 am

well, I recommend starting out with a smaller bio, it's nice to have stuff like tastes, common areas visiting, hobbies, favorite colors, etc, but it can get really unnecessary. If you start out small, you an always update the bio as you go along, but a bio should never be mixed with/used as a story, because a bio is a reference for a character. If you want to judge how unique or fleshed out a character is you want to look at how they're displayed in their own official stories and content. That's why video game companies rarely make absurdly long bios. (absurd = lots of pages).
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Dec 16, 2010 12:27 pm

That's what I decided to do this time, start out small and see what people think. Hell, maybe they'll never get any longer. :O
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Archmage_Bael
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Dec 16, 2010 4:26 pm

nah, as you RP and write about them, flesh out their bio's as you go...they'll become something amazing Wink
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat Dec 18, 2010 3:03 pm

Archmage_Bael wrote:
nah, as you RP and write about them, flesh out their bio's as you go...they'll become something amazing Wink
Thanks, I will do that.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Dec 28, 2010 11:46 am

Updated Nyaha's appearance (clothes) and added that he loves chasing squirrels.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri Dec 31, 2010 4:06 pm

Name: Beryl
Race: Small Naga
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Height: 7''9"
Length: 43 ft
Skin tone: Fair
Hair Colour: Brown
Eye colour: Brown
Scale colour: Blue and red alternating bars
Underbelly Scales: Yellow
Predation: Opportunistic
Food Category: 1 inch to 7 feet; Favourite: Nekos

-Appearance-
Beryl is a colourful small naga, who can typically be found wandering Tolmeshal Forest. She has long, silky brown hair, smooth, fair skin, and observant brown eyes. The scales on her tail are coloured deep blue and deep red, forming bars of one after the other down the length of her tail, and her underbelly scales are a vibrant yellow. She can usually be found wearing a black beret on her head, and she carries a large brown bag of art supplies on a strap slung across her body, the bag resting at either her left or right hip. She wears nothing besides this, like most wild predators, which shows off her well-rounded breasts and her cute torso figure. Cup size CC.

-Personality-
Beryl is an artist who loves to paint things that catch her attention, which can range anywhere from people, even larger predators, to inanimate objects. Whenever she finds something that looks interesting, she'll get excited, often describing what she sees with artistic passion. Otherwise, she is a very gentle naga who cares greatly about those important to her. She likes things that stand out as unique or unusual, and usually makes paintings in their likeness. Beryl treasures everything she has in her life, from her friends, to the hat she wears, and any time she loses something, no matter how insignificant, she'll become very upset, often breaking into tears followed by a precisely focused anger which persists until she either retrieves what she lost, is comforted by someone she trusts, or is given an apology (which one of these will work best depends on what is lost). She carries around her art supplies everywhere she goes, as well as many of her favourite paintings to show off to people. When painting, she can become quite irritated if she can't get something to come out properly. She also hates being interrupted while she works. She is quite ditzy and scatterbrained, and has habits of forgetting things moments after they occur, or being oblivious to things that are rather obvious. This also sometimes makes her forget things about herself, and makes her come off as a hypocrite. She also doesn't have a lot of self-control, especially concerning her perverted wiles as a breast-lover.

-Background-
Beryl was born in a naga village hidden somewhere in the northern part of Tolmeshal Forest. Her mother, however, had been afflicted with a curse that affected her first born child, namely Beryl. The effects of the curse gave Beryl a birth defect that prevented her from keeping down live food, as any foreign movement inside her body activates an involuntary reaction that causes her to throw up all the contents of her stomach. The defect also prevented Beryl from producing poison to paralyze her prey, which made the problem much more significant. In order to stave off starvation, Beryl's parents decided she could only eat fruits, but unfortunately, there were not many growing in the vicinity of the village. During her childhood, Beryl attempted to eat a neera, but due to her condition, she was unable to do so. Sensing her distress, the neera took pity on her, and decided to take her on as his apprentice, teaching her a style of painting that only certain people could perform. Showing a talent for it straight away, Beryl became a very talented artist, and found that painting things took her mind off her yearning to eat what other nagas ate. In time, and through hard work and determination, she came to master this style of artistry, and through it, developed creativity and highly dexterous muscle control. Her proud mother, sensing a new hope for her child's life, gave Beryl a present that she found in the possession of a human she ate; a black beret that, according to the human, was something a lot of artists wear. Her neera teacher recognized her mastery of the craft and was also proud of Beryl, and taught her an extremely advanced style of art that incorporated magic. She came to grasp this magical artistry very well, becoming skilled at using her artistic ability to defend herself, and soon, even catch living prey (something which her teacher had mixed feelings about)! Eventually, Beryl decided that she wanted to travel around and find more and more interesting things to paint, and her parents knew that she was ready, and allowed her to leave the village, as long as she returned every so often to show them her paintings.

-Abilities-
Beryl is extremely coordinated, and is ambidextrous to boot. She is also able to think on a few different levels at a time, at least where her artistic work is concerned. She is naturally creative, and isn't afraid to take risks in her art. She is very talented in the style of painting her neera teacher taught her, called the "Three-Pronged Painting Arts", which involves using two brushes held in the hands, and one brush that connects to the tip of Beryl's tail. With this, she can paint high-quality paintings in mere minutes, which, in the dangers of Felarya's wild, is time well saved, as it allows her to paint, then leave the area before any predators catch on to her. Beryl is able to defend herself with her artistry, applying a magic ability that allows her to inflict targets with status effects using 'hex marks', which can either be painted directly on a target, on the ground or other such surface as a trap, or in the air to be thrown onto a target from afar. Her magic arts also allow her to bring simple drawings to life. Applying her creativity, she has also been able to invent a variety of physical combat maneuvers which make use of her coordination and precise muscle control. For example, a move she calls "Spring Tail Cannon" involves coiling her tail like a spring, then pushing outwards with all of her tail muscles at once to strike a target. She can also use her co-ordination to twist her tail around under her like a spring and use that to jump short distances. Her main defense against magic involves summoning painted objects to take the effects of spells in her place. She has no specific weaknesses, but she isn't very good at taking hits either physical or magical. Her magic has a number of drawbacks as well; hex marks last longest when painted directly on a target. If painted in the air and thrown or used as traps, they will become less effective the longer the time between their drawing and when they afflict a target. Objects and animals brought to life from drawings only last a certain length of time, which is shorter the more complex the drawing. They will also disappear if something collides with them.

-Diet-
Beryl likes to eat both tiny and human-sized prey alike, meaning nekos, humans, neeras, tomthumbs, etc. She is afflicted with a curse that causes her to regurgitate anything foreign that moves inside her body, so she must paralyze her prey with an effect sigil or knock it out using in a confrontation before eating it. Sometimes, she paints her more interesting-looking preys' pictures before eating them, and she's always willing to show them their picture if they ask. If desperate, she always has a fresh supply of fruits in her art bag if she needs it. Artists of any kind can easily escape being eaten by Beryl, for being an artist herself, she holds a great deal of respect for them. But she's no fool; if you claim to be one, she'll need to see some proof. Although, so much as a well-done drawing in the dirt will do to impress her. Beryl greatly enjoys a workout, and likes to be active. This means that any prey that makes the hunt hard for her will rise on her menu, as she feels that being able to earn her meals makes her a better person, and it also works up her appetite. Since nekos are generally more physically adept and more difficult to catch than other prey species, they are at the top of her menu.


--
"It's like if I painted a picture of the perfect dragonapple hanging from a tree, grown naturally in the wilderness and left untouched by those who would erase its existence from the world. Being able to witness that sort of thing and sharing it with other people is what being an artist is all about!"


Last edited by Nyaha on Sun Dec 07, 2014 8:01 pm; edited 37 times in total (Reason for editing : Updated Beryl)
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Nyaha
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Nyaha


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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 10, 2011 11:58 am

I removed a character, and greatly extended Kira's bio. Please, tell me what you think! Anyone willing to post a comment here has the freedom to say whatever they like.
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TheLightLost
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 10, 2011 3:22 pm

I like the gloves she wears. I too have a character (Bia Terme) planned who wears something similar called caestus. So I can dig your character Kira. I am concerned about how often your characters seem to encounter predators alone. I hope I'm not misreading her bio. If alone, they would have to be extremely lucky to escape a creature with reach long enough to almost cover a football field.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Apr 11, 2011 3:20 pm

If you mean giant predators, Kira tends to avoid them in the first place, and even if she does, she rarely encounters them alone. Nyaha generally has an easier time with giant predators than Kira, though, as people generally take a liking to him, especially if he appeals to certain obvious aspects of their personality, and if that doesn't work, he is good at creating flashy distractions with the items he collects in his sleeves. Kira has a harder time, however, as if she were to encounter a giant pred, she'd attempt a more forceful approach, using her abilities to conduct fast, powerful attacks meant to disable the senses (eyesight, mainly) of her attacker, and afterwards make her escape.

However, smaller, and non-sentient predators tend to be easier for the both of them, though this isn't to say they aren't still a challenge. They're still more formidable together, though, and can take down a pack of four or five kensha beasts with relative ease.

Also, yes, Nyaha is generally very lucky.
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space_samurai
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Apr 18, 2011 5:46 pm

I have a question about Beryl; Why would she need to uses here fighting skills on Micros, unless she also eats normal sized prey as well.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Apr 19, 2011 3:53 pm

To answer that question, yes, she does eat normal-size prey as well. She also has to use the ability on micros, as they can still cause enough movement to upset her stomach if left unchecked.
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Oldman40k2003
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Apr 20, 2011 10:56 pm


The discussion that occurred after this point was off topic, so I have move it into its own thread here.

Please stay on topic in this thread.
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Nyaha
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Apr 21, 2011 1:12 pm

Name: Molly Lowenthal / Geno
Race: Human / Puppet
Age: 12 / 547
Gender: Female / Male
Height: 4’5” / 1'
Hair Colour: Black / None
Eye Colour: Black / Brown
Predation: Specialized
Food Category: 2 inches - 100+ feet. Prefers: N/A

-Appearances-
Molly is a young human girl who was born in Negav. She has short, straight cut black hair and black eyes with a hint of precocious maturity to them. She wears a Victorian-style outfit, comprised of a black and white-trimmed frilly dress with poofy shoulders, a wide, wavy skirt reaching down to above her knees, fishnet sleeve-gloves, and a large, white, bat wing-shaped bow around her waist. She also wears black slippers on her feet. Her face usually quite expressionless, though she does make very understated facial expressions if one were to look closely. Geno is a wooden hand puppet with no lower body or legs. His eyes are fully brown with no apparent iris, and he has no hair to speak of. He does, however, wear a jester’s hat with a pointy yellow brim, made of a purple material with yellow stars of different sizes dotting it, complete with three jingling bells. He also wears a purple cloak with a yellow pointy collar, and a yellow design around the torso. His head is round, but his chin is pointy, and though he has no nose, he does have ears and pointy yellow markings on his cheeks. His eyes, the markings on his cheeks, as well as all the yellow material on his outfit, glow in the dark.

-Personalities-
Due to her submissive upbringing, as well as her natural shyness, Molly doesn’t speak very often, not even when spoken to directly. Though, when she does speak, those around her often compliment her on her sweet and soft voice. Instead, she lets Geno do most of her talking, as he is quite her opposite; loud-mouthed and very talkative. He speaks in a tough-sounding, though quite diminutive, male voice. Molly tries to distance herself from others usually, though if she meets someone she likes, she’ll do all in her and Geno’s power to protect them. Geno lends Molly his power because he cares about her and doesn’t want to see her heartbroken, though he seldom likes the people she likes, too. Geno himself is otherwise much less caring about others, and has a short temper. He also has a tendency to speak without thinking, as well, and loses a lot of arguments he himself starts.

-Molly's Background-
Molly was originally the daughter of a wealthy family in Negav. Forced into subjugation and raised to know her place, she spoke only when addressed, and wore what she was told to wear. She often saw other children playing freely in the streets and yards of Negav from the windows in her room, where she chose to spend most of her time. If not in her room, she was with her mother and/or father, keeping up appearances and impressing strangers. Needless to say, she wasn't fond of the life she had, and yearned for freedom. There was one thing that gave her consolation, however: her mother would take her to a toy store in Negav on a regular basis. There was a very interesting puppet that had caught Molly's attention time after time; it was Geno. Molly would take him from his place on the shelf, and whisper her woes into his ear. Eventually, Molly saved up enough money in secret from the small allowances she was given to buy Geno herself. She put him on her hand, and suddenly felt a strange sensation come over her. Then she heard his voice, which said, "Thanks for freeing me from this life of misery, sitting on a shelf all day and night. Now let me free you from your life of misery as well.” Together, Molly and Geno left the toy store behind and headed out of Negav. Geno used his powerful magic to shield them from predators as they journeyed around in search of a suitable home, and they eventually arrived at Evernight Forest. Feeling that it was the perfect place to hide from the rest of the world, they decided to make the forest their new home.

-Geno's Background-
Geno himself is actually the 547 year-old spirit of a powerful mage. He once inhabited a human body on another world, and when he got old, he decided to attempt a forbidden spell that would transfer his soul into a younger body, thus giving him immortality. Unfortunately for him, through sheer coincidence or as punishment from the gods of that world, his soul was transferred into a puppet instead. After this incident, somebody found him, and thinking him a lifeless puppet, decided to sell him. He was bought by a talented puppeteer, and during his time with the puppeteer Geno gradually found control of his new body. Realizing that due to the accident, his soul would eventually die without sustenance for itself, Geno took to using his magic to gradually drain the soul of the man who used him, and once the man died, which appeared to be of natural causes, he found himself in the possession of another owner. Geno repeated the process for hundreds of years, living in the prisonous body of a puppet, until he wound up in the toy store in Negav, which is where his fate met Molly’s.

-Abilitieses-
Despite now being with Molly, Geno still needs sustenance for his soul, but due to the connection he made with the little girl, he doesn’t want to drain her soul and kill her before she’s even gotten to live her life. Therefore, Geno took it upon himself to teach Molly how to eat another person’s soul, using his help, of course. The method involves Geno using a variation of the soul transfer spell which put him in the puppet to pull the soul from their prey’s body, bring it over to Molly, and stuff it down her gullet. This method replenishes portions of Molly’s soul and allows Geno to continue draining it to live, though Molly herself still needs real food. This fact makes the two of them a dangerous predator, despite their small stature in the world, and Molly can eat the soul of anything from beasts in the forest to giant predators. However, in order for it to work their prey needs to be stationery for at least three minutes. They usually accomplish this using a binding spell; giant predators might easily be able to break the binds through strength alone. Aside from this power, Geno also knows many other spells that he uses to defend Molly and himself, though he has a particular soft spot for fire magic, and he can use both his own mana and that of Molly to fuel his magic. Geno's little puppet cloak is enchanted to guard against fire, making sure that Geno's wooden body can't be set on fire and damaged, especially by his own spells. Molly herself is a quite skillful dancer, due to being forced to take lessons by her parents. She takes care of all the movement for the pair. Their main weakness comes from their strength; if they are separated from each other, they become exponentially weaker. If one of them is captured, the other can easily be made to surrender. Molly and Geno must be in sync in order to perform to the best of their abilities. This presents certain weaknesses as well, such as if Geno attempts to cast a spell that Molly does not wish him to cast, it will come out much weaker than it would have been if they had both been focused on casting it. The same event will result if each of them tries to cast a different spell, which doesn't happen often, but if they get too shaken up or confused it's very possible. It should be noted that Geno is immune to psionic abilities affecting one's mind or muscles, heart, etc. because technically he possesses none of those things in his puppet body; his life and all of his non-physical being is contained within his soul bound to the puppet.


Last edited by Nyaha on Mon Oct 28, 2013 4:52 pm; edited 23 times in total (Reason for editing : Adding in weaknesses.)
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space_samurai
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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Apr 21, 2011 3:05 pm

I like this them! They seem really unique, and interesting/a bit creepy Smile
Especially the rumors suronding them, I like that, I see potential in them.

P.S. You miss spelled Height:

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri Apr 22, 2011 12:06 pm

space_samurai wrote:


P.S. You miss spelled Height:

Thank you. Corrected.
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Nyaha
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Optimist
Nyaha


Posts : 3845
Join date : 2007-12-09
Age : 31
Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Apr 24, 2011 11:41 am

Okay, I've uptaded Molly and Geno a bit further. I think it sounds a little cliché, personally, but please, tell me what you think! ^_^
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Nyaha
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Optimist
Nyaha


Posts : 3845
Join date : 2007-12-09
Age : 31
Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed May 11, 2011 4:47 pm

Nya, I decided to make this guy a little while ago. Please, tell me what you think! Also, let me know if there's anything you feel I should add to any of my other characters, too, please.


(Edited out)


Last edited by Nyaha on Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:59 am; edited 2 times in total
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Nyaha
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Optimist
Nyaha


Posts : 3845
Join date : 2007-12-09
Age : 31
Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Jul 04, 2011 11:52 am

I've shortened Nyaha's bio to around three paragraphs, as I noticed many of the bios in the wiki are about that length and I realized mine might be too long to be effective. Please, anyone willing to take a look at it, tell me what you think! ^_^
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Warrior3000
Temple scourge
Temple scourge
Warrior3000


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Age : 28
Location : New Jersey

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Jul 05, 2011 5:44 pm

Nyaha wrote:
Nya, I decided to make this guy a little while ago. Please, tell me what you think! Also, let me know if there's anything you feel I should add to any of my other characters, too, please.


Name: Trinius Tordeus Typhos
Race: Neera
Gender: Male
Age: 56
Height: 3"
Weight: 5 lbs
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Light grey
Fur: Brown with light grey spots

Trinius, also known as Master Typhos, is a neera who has lived a good distance past the average life expectancy of a neera in the wild. He is a serious man with a weak sense of humor, however he does seem to enjoy giving out sagely-sounding advice, even if it sounds ridiculous or if he doesn't quite know what it means. As serious as he is, he becomes a carefree party animal when he drinks. Master Typhos is the creator and self-proclaimed (but as of yet undisputed) master of the Three-Pronged Painting Arts, which utilizes three brushes at once; one in each hand in addition to the tail being used as a makeshift brush. Typhos can not only paint ezquisite works of art in record time using this technique, but can also camouflage his entire body when a predator is around.



Well since you were generous enough to invite me to share my thoughts with you I can't see the harm in doing so;

Firstly, he is all out of proportion. Three inch height and five pound weight would make him morbidly obese for his size. Have you ever picked up the average mouse? I will bet you money that it does not weigh five pounds. If it does you should probably seek a new residence because the local vermin are apparently undergoing rapid evolution and turning into a subspecies of super rodents. This bio as a whole seemed to be lacking in substance, most notably any semblance of back-story which he could've had a considerable amount of given his old age. From this slim base you could expand to elaborate upon what endeavors he has undertaken throughout the course of his life and what experiences shaped him into being as he presently is. It is not informative to the reader to simply state that a character is something. Truly good bios, I believe, need to explain precisely why a character is something, what makes them tick. That is absent entirely here and that is an issue. Furthermore, nearly half of the little bit you did include about him pertained to this awkward painting style he seems to have developed for reasons beyond me. Unless he is ambidextrous I find it difficult to believe that he can wield two paint brushes simultaneously without making some serious artistic errs. Also, I wasn't of the impression that tails were prehensile to the extent of being able to grasp and utilize tools in such a way. Lastly, how on earth is painting his own body a viable system of defense? Taking into account aforementioned logical fallacies with the whole idea his job of attempting to disguise his entire body would be clumsy at best and I refuse to believe he would miraculously be able to produce the necessary color palette for every environmental color motif. A predator would need to be deaf, dumb, slow, and blind in order to give him sufficient time to do such a thing. At that point though, the entire idea is useless because it would be substantially easier to just run instead of trying to paint yourself.

Really, work on this.
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Nyaha
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Optimist
Nyaha


Posts : 3845
Join date : 2007-12-09
Age : 31
Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Jul 06, 2011 12:09 pm

Thank you for you're critisizm, though you could've made it a little more concise. I see what you mean about the weight issue, but everything else I already know. This IS just a start for his character. It might not ever be finished. ^_^ I say this so that you don't think I didn't read it, and I appreciate you taking the time to say something. To be honest, I'd really like you to critique my other characters as well. Not all at once, though. I don't have the time nor the patience to read something THAT long. XD
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Nyaha
Eternal Optimist
Eternal Optimist
Nyaha


Posts : 3845
Join date : 2007-12-09
Age : 31
Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!

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PostSubject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures   Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri Jul 08, 2011 11:46 am

(Moved)


Last edited by Nyaha on Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:15 pm; edited 11 times in total
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