Stabs' Pit of Nightmares (and ideas)

that one is just priceless XD

You're brilliant. I wish I had an imagination as vivid as yours.

Stabs, what have you done?

Well nothing a little editing from AJ here can't fix, but I think this deserves to be put somewhere on the wiki. Too bad that's not my decision. xD

FAIRY TALE . I can really imagine some fairy telling this story to her friends at bed time though this is why a fairy could be seen as whimsical as well, though the thought of humans originally coming from fairies is kinda cute XD.

I don't know why, but know that I read it it seems as if so simple I should have been able to think of it myself. That's one reason why its so well, done. It feels natural, and I can't really find a problem with it.

Nice job.

this could well have its place into legends

OK, that one was awesome, yet terrifying. Still, if humans are cookies, that's why cannibalism is forbiden: we taste like cookies and then the human race would predate itself and... oh wait, better not give any ideas. xD

Glad you guys enjoyed it!

Yeah, I wouldn't object to this forming part of the legends section... then again, I agree with Bael, this would need some serious polishing up- The Rev, for example, recommended me to leave the part about the cookies being actually humans to the end (so the part where I put they had the lower half of a fairy could wait until right before the part with the Othemites, for a stronger reveal). And my paragraphing... that's what happens when I work past midnight.

I added it ^_^
Please tell me if it looks ok to you ( and if you agree with the disclaimer too ! )

Stabs is the schitz!

Okay, I need to remove my "nice guy" facade and say: What does this story accomplish? How does that make Felarya more complete? What question does it answer? My personal opinion on the story: stupid. I couldn't move past the first few lines because it sounds like the "And then John was a Demon" Doom fanfic.

Cool. well that's your opinion.
Me I find it funny and original.
As for what questions it answers... obviously none but that's not really the point.

ha ha ha. That's disturbingly funny and highly original. This can be a fable of a sort (It was funny as hell though. couldn't stop laughing for hours at the thought of it. Way to go Darlin!)

To Sean: there is no point its just grand imagination put into words that could possibly be, what karbo said "legendary".

Pendragon, sweetienums, you can click delete post too.

The conflict with Sean is mostly solved, though his points still stand; I'll make an effort to fix all he's pointed.

This thread is open to further discussion now.

The story was definitely... interesting to say the least. Provided a good narrative of a "what if" scenario, kinda like if aliens created humans, albeit slightly confusing.

Edit: CRAP! Sorry about that Stabs. I didn't see your post before posting myself.

Alright, I think I've fixed what Sean found wrong. Time to see if it's any better than the first draft.

Don't think I'm going to fixate on fairies more than this, though... next time, I'll be doing slimy, crunchy monsters that live underwater.




How Cookies Conquered The World

Once upon a time, there was a fairy who had the most unusual of passions, at least for a fairy- she enjoyed cooking. Whether it was meat, fruit, vegetables or rarer fare, it's said whatever made it into her hands would end up in a pot -or under the knife- at some point. She enjoyed eating a little less, though, and usually found that no one cared to join her for supper. Other fairies found her practices needlessly cruel, but above all, slow, and her constant experimentation with ever more exotic ingredients and recipes ran counter-intuitive to the rest of her kind. So the fairy found herself with rarely a guest to cook for: no one enjoyed her meals as much as she did.

This went on until a point when the fairy created a recipe with all the goodness she could think of in it. Fashioning the result into little cookies, she succeeded in finally making a popular dish; past their initial reluctance, all her friends loved the feel and taste of her new cookies. Having found the right direction, she proceeded to make little faces on her cookies, and then make hands, and fingers on the cookies, modeling them after most tauric races. These cookies came to be even more widely accepted. As she kept working on her technique, abandoning the rest of her experimentation, her cookies became more and more lifelike, until they were just as good as any of the tauric races in Felarya. Past this point, the fairy decided to make her own special brand of tauric cookies. They started as a joke, but they were so popular with all her friends that she stuck to that design. She varied her recipe often, using different ingredients, and sometimes they came out white, sometimes they were almost black, sometimes, the lemon in them made them yellow- some say she once made a cookie with ascarlin chips too.

But as she improved her cookies, they grew more intelligent than she intended at first. Of course, she didn't really care- smart or not, they'd always be cookies. And even the little hearts she gave them served only to improve upon their taste. All their intelligence was just so that they could be played with. And it'd have stayed that way, were it not for one thing... they were just food, and as mere food were they thought of. So no one bat an eyelash every time a cookie or two went missing: if they could not be found, then no problem, their friend would bake more! Everything in Felarya wanted some of those cookies... so logically one or two would go missing sometime!

However, sometimes cookies went missing because of a dimensional disturbance, the kind that's so common in Felarya. Released from their fate, those cookies soon began achieving their maximum potential, beyond the scope of that fairy's imagination. They thrived, and they spread out and about, invading and conquering world after world after world. Cookies soon became one of the most powerful forces of the universe: they grew proud, and they forgot their roots. In time, cookies forgot they were ever cookies, and forged a new name for themselves.

Eventually, the guardians realized the threat. Cookies were everywhere, and it was now time to recall them, therefore Felarya started gating those cookies back in. But there were too many; it was impossible to catch them all. By the time the futility of this effort was realized, it was too late to stop gating them in: the Guardians' spells had already enough momentum. Even today, the power of their spells still draws several dozens of them every day. However, some escaped back to the worlds they'd stablished themselves in: they brought with themselves the tale of Felarya, and many went there of their own volition, in volumes far greater than any dimensional disturbances could ever hope to accomplish. Once there, cookies once more met their eaters...

But alas, the harm was done. No matter how many cookies returned to Felarya, and despite the world could eat them all if they ever managed to get them all back, the cookies had already spread beyond control. And there was no way anymore to prove the cookies were cookies, for the cookies had written now their own rules. All because they hadn't been all eaten. So those cookies are spread throughout the universe now, sometimes meeting their intended fate, sometimes not: one thing is certain, and that is that they're delicious. Predators all throughout the universe recognize those cookies easily, even though they might not know their true nature, because of their tauric form, which combines the universal upper body with the lower half of a fairy.



Whether the myth is true or not, the recipe exists; the Othemites have found two copies of the recipe so far (Sugar, spice, and everything nice, or snips, snails, and puppy dogs' tails, maybe with a little something else...). This sacrilege against human life is one of the reasons why they're so obsessed with scouring Felarya free of predators: some predators certainly know the recipe, and if there's any possibility people can be not just born of woman, but simply MADE, like they were cookies, so that even if they were all destroyed they could simply be remade by anyone with the time... if a heart, a soul is worth only a few pounds of sugar and flour, what are PEOPLE worth!?
(Of course, they also believe anyone who's read the recipe should never be allowed again within ten miles of a kitchen, stove, spoon, mixing bowl, or campfire, for good measure.)




There, I fixed it. Sean was right- I'd made plenty of rookie mistakes on this one. Also, I wanted to add a few optional plot twists- just a few ideas I had. They're mutually exclusive, though- as each takes the whole thing in a completely different direction.

Spoiler:

Why am I telling you all about those possibilities if I don't want any of them, you may ask? I like showing my work...

Stabs-never heard of that game before.

I like. It's Sugarpocalypse! The dream, and nightmare, of all fairy kids.

Sean Okotami wrote:

I like. It's Sugarpocalypse! The dream, and nightmare, of all fairy kids.

My sarcasm detector is whirring, Sean. Are you being honest with me?

Your sarcasm detector needs to be defragged.

Ok I made the update ^^

Care for a nightmare before christmas? ^^

Spoiler:

Mercy Worm
Size: 3-6 inches
Threat: Low.
The mercy worm is a small, rare crustacean found mainly in underground, stagnant freshwaters. Despite the lack of light in its environs, it's got a particular coloration, with rainbow-colored splotches all over its shell, the rest of its body being a bleached yellow. It's a filter feeder, feeding mainly on microorganisms. Wherever it's found, it's rare to find natural predators in the same body of water, due to the quite unique defense mechanism that gives it its name.
The mercy worm's only real defense mechanism, aside from jetting, is begging for mercy. Basically, by pointing at another organism with its antennae, it psychically lashes at its potential predator's mind with unbridled horror and unadulterated revulsion. If the antennae can actually touch the victim, they secrete an intense hallucinogen to go with the disembodied emotions, an effect that's disabling to say the least. Most people who've tried to eat a mercy worm describe that they felt a heart-rending and soul-chilling cry rumble through their entire selves, begging for mercy, screaming in their ears and crying in their faces, tugging at their stomaches until they were ready to throw up. This little prawn is probably the most eloquent organism in the universe; eating one is part of the initiation process in some circles that require complete mercilessness from their members. It's said that after eating one of those, most humans wouldn't bat an eyelash at eating a tomthumb or a neera just because they were hungry at the time. The sad part is that this is mostly true- live mercy worms DO tend to cause that effect.
Mercy worms don't do much when cooked (though they'll defend themselves if they realize they'll be cooked), but they aren't delicious either. Studies into their psychic powers is stunted- the scientists studying them have problems remaining focused in the presence of the multicolored prawn and its howls of horror and revulsion, banging directly into their ears and clawing, tearing at their hearts, begging for them to drop their scalpels and let them live, let them live, let them live...!


Cascada Worm
Size: 2-4 inches
Threat: Very Low.
The cascada worm is a freshwater prawn living in some remote rivers in Felarya. Basically it's a prawn with its carapace covered in stripes of black and white, though some specimens have splortches of black over white instead for unknown reasons. Unlike most prawns, they're blood-drinkers as well as filter feeders, and this species lives mostly near the surface... where its powers are the most effective.
The Cascada Worm has a quite peculiar defense mechanism. During its life, the worm accumulates psychic energy in its body, charging a bone crystal growing in its center. When the worm finds itself in a pinch, either about to be pierced or in a confined space, it discharges this energy in a concentrated psychokinetic burst, which quickly finds the nearest objects and acellerates them homogeneously upwards, usually with the Cascada inside. The usual result is that whatever ate them is propelled out of the surface of the water, and tossed far, far away. The prawn then waits for it to die from the fall, get ripped apart, or drown in the air, and crawls out of its corpse, returning to the river by foot. Usually, it counts on the softness of its eater's insides to survive the fall, but then again, not all cascada worms survive the impact either.
Cascada worms are an interesting study case for psychic powers, thus one of the rare sought-after species in Felarya, but their psychic powers make them obviously difficult to study. Any help on which is their native world will be greatly appreciated- until then, their trade stays an interesting resource. It's said Cascada and Mercy worms could share a common ancestor- a psychic archetype of sorts. Were this creature to be found, it'd probably grant insights undreamed before into the nature of the mind, though some suggest the archetypal species as a whole might've ascended to a higher plane of existence.


Passion Worm
Size: 5-8 inches
Threat: Moderate
Passion Worms are another variety of interesting freshwater prawns. They're easily recognized by their fiery red shells, with touches of yellow that look vaguely like eyes, and the consistency of their harder bodies, which feels like sandpaper to the touch. Unlike most prawns, passion worms are macropredators, capable of shredding larger creatures and eating them.
The Passion Worm has yet a strange hunting mechanism: it can release psychic energy as heat, warming up its targets, be they predators or prey, dangerously. The rate of release is exponential; a dog-sized target usually explodes too quickly to suffer the first effects of heatstroke, but not before getting a life-threatening set of internal burns to go with it.
Its feeding mechanism is also interesting- the prawn rides is victim, and rubs its sandpaperlike shell over its burnt carcass, shredding tiny pieces of ash it proceeds to feed on. The sight of a thousand passion worms riding a dead body and rubbing themselves all over it is what gives this dodecapod its name.

======

Spliced Connections
Spliced connections are a very rare kind of interplanar connections. Though there haven't been recorded instances of spliced connections in Felarya, the possibility still stands that such a thing is theoretically possible- and as a matter of fact, considering the density of such happenings in Felarya, several universal philosophers keep expecting one to happen observably.

A spliced connection basically involves the traveling object or entity being replicated upon arrival, either in the same spot as it arrived but some time later, or in a different spot and almost simultaneously. Both instances of the traveling object would not be particularly aware of each other, except in the strangest cases; psychics and electronic communication devices being some of those instances. The number of replicated entities is not limited to two; in the most extreme instance recorded, a single entity was replicated fifteen times, spaced apart a hundred years in the same spot. At the time of writing this, another instance is expected within 27 years.

It's believed there might be plenty of spliced connections in Felarya, given its nature- but for obvious reasons, they're nigh-impossible to record. Predators and in general the environment (not to mention the naïve and unprepared nature of most neophyte arrivals) prevent any detailed studies, while the phenomenon is too ill-understood to attempt to cause it.

Several factions would pay dearly for proof of their existence, if any.

great ideas here
I find the mercy worm especially interesting, with that use during initiations ^^

Indeed, these are great ideas. The spliced connections is especially interesting. Imagine someone coming through with a CB radio or something similar. They get duplicated, but their radios retain a connection to each other (because of quantum). They would be very freaked out to hear themselves describing different events on their radio.

Another nightmare. A spell that'd been in my mind for a while. It is meant for predator use, before you ask. Sure, it makes no real sense- its purpose is to provide a puzzle boss of sorts, like the Nemean Lion, which couldn't be hurt with wood, stone, or metal (It's all up to Heracles now!). It's also meant to be sexy in a way. I mean, if girls and tanks are sexy, and ice cream is sexy... you do the math.

Besides, it's a resource if someone wants to stick to realistic physics but would care to pass through my turf, the grimdark wastes of despair, horror and powerlessness, for a little while.

Supremacy over Metal
Upon the use of this spell, be it by whatever media it is applied, any metal that touches the target's body, or any watery liquid coming from it, dissolves harmlessly into a creamy substance. Though it generally retains its shape, the target can use the metal now as a plaything with all the rigidity of suntan lotion. That substance also dissolves in... the target; the recipient of the spell can easily drink room-temperature metal, or unmake a metal wall with a sweaty palm. There are other possibilities, but let's focus on the saner ones for the time being. You have a dirty mind of your own too.
The target can use... erm, you can get it by context to... well... destroy metal. Upon contact with it, well, it... it dissolves; most advanced weapons just... break when that happens. They can also use... yes, that too, and... wow, kinky :S. Yeah, it'd work. Now stop before I throw up, okay? For me? The creamy metal is edible, but not very filling. Upon ending the spell, any metal that went into the recipient is irrevocably lost.
Magical metal is not assured to survive the spell; in either case, it rarely manages to cause damage either. For obvious reasons, it's not recommended to handle metal weapons while under the effects of this spell. Neither is this spell recommended for people who have tooth irons, as saliva might dissolve the metal. Do not use while in armor.

While the existence of this spell hasn't been confirmed yet, silver succubi have to be up to something- we haven't seen any in quite a while. Hope it's this. Also it'd explain a lot of times when a predator survived an assault that should by all rights have slain it.

[This might not seem very balanced... on the sci-fi side of things, that is. Since there's stuff that makes you immune to magic, why not something for protection against the other end of the scale of magic to sci-fi, too? It's a lot more dangerous, after all! And since sci-fi's about psychics and gadgets, none of which are common to Felaryans, leaving the predators defenseless against hi-tech would feel... metaphoric. But create this response, keep it shallow and erotic, and I'm sure everyone will think a cigar's just a penis, rather than a vector for lung cancer and a sign of emotional weakness]



This is a couple things I'd been thinking- To get over my aversion of magitech, I've thought up a couple concepts that don't seem too farfetched.

Lighter
Jokingly called after the nonmagical version, this lighter has a peculiarity- it's ranged. When pointed at an object, and opened, it lets out a small flame that travels towards the object in question. It's not a long-lived flame, barely able to last a couple seconds, during which it can travel up to 10 yards, but in appropriate conditions, it might be all it's needed. In general, it's safer to operate, at least for the operator, but it's not recommended for little children to play with. A lot of fire mages discovered their vocation playing with one of those when they were young, taking it apart, examining its contents, putting it back together, seeing what's changed, asking dad to buy another because this one doesn't work anymore. Needless to say, most fire mages don't recommend to keep this one away from the reach of little children!

Shadow Cartridge
This cartridge is actually a magical model of another magazine, given infinite ammo by shadow-magic. However, the bullets [and propellent] only stay real long enough to feel the recoil and to mark the spot hit; its killing power isn't even the barest fraction of the real thing, as contact with anything else than air completely annihilates the rigidity and density of the shadowstuff, making it barely as dangerous as a burst of helium. As such, those mags are prized practice material, allowing things like ammo expenses to be a thing of the past when training. This item is popular with actors, shooters in training with too much money to spend [or training agencies with WAY too many shooters in need of WAY too much practice to spend money on bullets for all of them], illusionists and con men. It's said that focusing magic on this item, giving it a slight power boost, might make the bullets actually as deadly as the real thing, but then again, so would putting real bullets in the magazine. So far, no assasins have been found to use these magazines to make bullets that vanish from the wound to hide their ballistic markings, and leave no powder burns even at close range... so maybe it's not true after all; if it were, they should be on the stuff like starved wolves on fresh carrion.

False Blood
This clear liquid, when injected into the body, will stop any toxin from taking effect for up to one hour. Rather than actually disable the toxin, this fluid temporarily replaces the blood (and any poisoned areas in the body) by magically created flesh, capable of serving as a temporary substitute and nullifying the transmission of toxins (together with basically almost every non-immediately vital component in the blood, such as insulin or adrenalin). While this is just a temporary measure, it gives some measure of respite against deadly toxic species, such as the poisonous creeper or the spine beetle, allowing the affected individual an hour (in rapidly increasing discomfort and behavioural denaturation) to find an antidote for their real flesh and blood.
As a side effect, an affected user is really easy to find through predator sense. It's recommended to dispel the effect the instant it's not needed anymore. Side effects might be worse than the original toxin in some users, so it's not recommended for use against minor venoms.

I've been giving the issue of Earth some thought. If we're best served not using Terrans, then I would follow suit, and help others do so. While this would involve a retcon (and god I hate that thing's guts), after finding out shirokinukatsukami are copyrighted and the actual mythological creature is called a baku, I guess if I'm in for a penny then I'm in for a pound. So I've been thinking about this.

NOTE- I really have been giving the issue of Earth some thought. I do see the self insert potential and the problem with having too many alternates, neither of which is a very compelling point against the use of Terrans: self-inserts can ommit the word Earth and still have all the predictable flaws. There's very positive cases too, like Mukat's Ibrahim; specific cultural clashes are simply not as believable if you make a copycat culture to avoid using Earth. It's also delusional to believe that offering this option would reduce in any way the amount of Terrans written. Nevertheless, I believe this is a fairly interesting idea anyway, and I see no real harm in sharing it.

Eufractans

Eufractans never arrive in Felarya by their own will- at least, never aware what they were getting into. More often than not, they arrive in Felarya through a warp of sorts, though some of them do arrive through the practice of eldritch arts: in their homeworld, magic seldom does anything else than make the practitioner disappear mysteriously to never be seen again, to the point that it's practically considered a superstition everywhere. They very rarely arrive prepared; in consequence, the steep learning curve and perilous trials Felarya puts before them readily take their toll on the helpless or unlucky. As a people, Eufractans are as diverse as can be, with a variety of phenotypes and cultures brought into being by very different circumstances, linked together only because they existed in the same world.

However, it has been inferred to have an interesting scope of dimensional instability phenomenons, which haven't been studied simply because no one has ever returned. This is because of the unnerving reason that Eufracta's dimensional phenomenons not only warp people to other worlds, but to a far-flung future: all of them come from several points in the past. Even arriving together they might not be from the same time, and even people who were warped together might find their arrivals split by decades! Those people cannot return to their homeworld, because in the present it just does not exist anymore in any recognizable form!

Thus, they are a timelost people who have nothing to return to. The notion that they coexist together with people from all times and places throughout their history tends to confuse those stragglers, who once they put the timelessness and their new immortality together, often believe that they might have actually died and found whatever exists beyond the mortal coil. Others, needing something to keep their sanity, try instead to piece together what happened after they warped, and look for others like themselves who have come from the future.

Those few who can adapt make for good allies: the ones who got themselves whisked out magically often find their options greatly widened, and their knowledge of sciences was directly proportional to the availability of education all along for them. Albeit their scientific development never seemed to have reached the same level as Vishmitali or Delurans, "modern" Eufractans have a solid enough base to excel at whatever task they choose. Eufractans from isolated cultures, earlier time periods or impoverished zones might not have reached the same standards of life, but their practical knowledge and dilligence (or sometimes ruthlessness) makes them valuable nonetheless.