A Heart of Stone? CH 1.

(This is a new story featuring my very heavily revised Mort character. He is the same in many ways and very different in other ways. This Chapter isn't meant to be really long, its just the introductory chapter. ^^ Do tell me what you think. Good or bad. Also the RP I'm in now is Mort BEFORE the events of this story. )

CH 1: Nothing to live for...

The sun shone down brightly through the immense vegetation and the wind softly whistled through the trees. There was not a single cloud in the sky, oddly pleasant sounds echoed all around and a cool breeze blew by. To the naked eye, this world seemed like paradise. At first glance, this world seemed to be a beautiful place. Like heaven incarnate. But really, nothing is as it seems in this world. In reality, there isn't a more dangerous realm than Felarya. In this place it was back to basics. Humans and similar sized races were no longer at the top of the food chain. Far from it. Nearly everything imaginable wants to swalllow you up.

But there were treasures here too. Forgotten wonders of ancient civilisations. Impossibly powerful artifacts, some older than stars. Many an adventurer has journeyed to Felarya despite the dangers, in an attempt to gain fame, knowledge and power. Mort was no exception. He too, came in search of the wonders Felarya had to offer. Above all else, he wanted power. He would do anything to get ahead. Lying and betraying his allies became almost second nature to him. The desire for one of these artifacts drove him mad. He has lost count of the people he has killed. It was all that mattered to him. Well... it was...

He walked slowly through the Felaryan jungle, without purpose or direction. Exhaustion filled his entire body. The sun shone on his exposed pale grey right eye. The left eye and the entire left side of his head was completely covered in bandages. For clothing he wore simple, tight fitting yet comfortable garments reinforced with hardened leather at key points. From his belt hung a sword as well as a satchel filled with random odds and ends slung over his shoulder. Over all of this he wore a tattered brown cloak, old and dirty.

NOTHING mattered to him anymore. He trod slowly and solemnly through the vegetation and with his exposed right eye, idly scanned the trees. He was alone out here and he knew it. He could be gobbled up in an instant and he knew it. He was far from civilisation and he knew this too. He didn't care. He didn't care if he got digested. He cared about NOTHING. Nothing mattered to him anymore. Not even his own life.

The ground shook slightly as something huge headed towards him. He continued to walk in that direction anyway. He heard bushes and trees groan and sway as a naga pushed her way through and stared down at him. Nagas and their predatory senses. Hiding from her would be impossible at this range. He looked up at her and their eyes met. Her eyes were a brilliant emerald green, her scales were green too but were a much darker shade of green. Her hair was colored a crimson red.

"Yaaaay~" She squeeled in delight. "I found one! And by himself too! Trisha, come look! I found one!"

A second naga emerged from the trees. This ones scales were a dark purple and her eyes were hazel. Her hair shone a golden blonde. She had a much more serious expression on her face compared to her friend. She seemed unimpressed.

"Yeah you found one Faran. Just ONE! How the hell is ONE supposed to satisfy us?"

"Oh well. At least I found SOMETHING Trisha, you can't eve-"

Trisha cut her off with a threatening stare.

"Don't you ever mention that again! You're such a nuisance Faran! Why do I put up with you?" She sighed deeply "Well yes at least you found something. Do you want him or shall I have him?"

"Oh you can hav-" *Grumble*

Faran got an embarassed look on her face and slowly rubbed her groaning stomach.

"Ah, actually. Can I have him?"

"Sure go ahead. but you'll have to catch him first."

Faran got an excited look and tensed, ready to chase after her prey. She opened her eyes and eagerly scanned the floor below her. And found that he hadn't moved an inch.

"Hey thats no fun, Trisha why isn't he running away?"

Trisha was also a little puzzled as to why this little morsel hadn't even attempted to save himself in anyway.

"I don't know Faran." She replied in a rather irritated voice. "Why don't you ask him if you're that bothered about it."

Faran bent down and got face to face with Mort, who just continued to stare at her.

"Why aint'cha running little guy? Something the matter?"

She picked him up and dangled him in front of her face. She opened her mouth wide and hovered him above it. He looked down at the gigantic maw and closed his eye, waiting for the inevitable. At any moment he expected to fall and land in her mouth and then seconds later arrive in her stomach, where he would meet his end. But the falling feeling never came and when he opened his eye again, her shiny green eyes were looking at him as if he was some sort of alien.

"Whats the matter Faran? Just eat him already and lets find some more."

"Wait a minute Trisha" She replied, tones of concern and confusion in her voice.

"Why is he accepting being a snack? Its not right, normal prey don't just walk through jungles and wait to be dinner."


"Why does it matter!?" Trisha yelled, even more annoyed than before. "Just eat him and we will all be happy."

Faran ignored her and prodded Mort who was a little bit confused himself.

"Its... its like hes already dead. He doesn't seem to care anymore..."

She put on a happier face and tried to see if she could get to bottom of the problem.

"Whats the matter little guy? Why so down?"

Mort couldn't believe that she was actually asking him this but he decided to answer her.

"Eat me already will you? I haven't got anything left to live for. Not now that... shes gone. Shes gone. Never coming back."

"Huh? Whos gone? Who is she?" Asked the curious naga.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. As soon as I saw you open your mouth... I felt I was in her place. Down she went... into the depths. I couldn't protect her. I tried but... it wasn't enough."

Tears streamed down from his eye.

"ME! Not even I, the most feared abomination of my homeplanet, had the power to save her!"

His sobs grew in intensity as he fought the last few words out.

"Please, eat me. No one should have to suffer that fate alone..."

He closed his eye and, lying on the comfy flesh of her palm, his exhaustion overtook him and he passed out cold, at the mercy of a predator named Faran.
She was nearly in tears herself after witnessing him break down like that, and had to fight them back. Even Trisha seemed a little moved.

"Awwww. Look. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. Poor little guy."

She looked at Trisha pleadingly.

"Pllleeeaaassssseeeee can we keep him? Please Trisha I want to look after him."

"WHAT!?" She responded with extreme suprise. "You want to keep him!? What kind of predator are you!?"

She looked around frantically, stressed and flustered all of a sudden.

"Where are we going to keep him for a start? We can't bring him back to the others! They'll eat him as soon as we put him down! Where are we going to put him? We might crush him so it has to be high up. But then it has to be close so tha-"

Faran stopped her mad ranting as she put her other hand on her shoulder and rubbed it tenderly.

"I don't know Trisha. But I can't eat him now. And I can't just leave him here like this."

Trisha put her hands on her head. She just got a splitting headache from the sudden rush of stress. What the hell is she going to do with a tiny little human? Especially around all her friends. How does she explain something like this? She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She would think of something...

Nearly 48 hours and nobody has said ANYTHING? :c

Come on guys if you don't like it just say so... nothing is worse than getting no reply.

heh that's an unusual situation here ^^
I'm curious to see how it will develop.
What I can say is your descriptions in the beginning worked really well, making the scene easy to visualize

Why thank you Karbo. ^^ Its always nice to recieve compliments from you.

However I must clarify my other post. You see, I am not one of those people who can write stories just because I enjoy it. Other people have to enjoy them too. Seeing someone comment on something I have written gives me the motivation to write more, because I know that people are enjoying what I am writing. If no one comments after a few days I assume that people don't like the story and so I lose the motivation to continue it. Just thought I'd explain. I don't want to come across as some kind of attention seeker or something.

lol sorry ^^; I don't read stories that often, but from what I read just now, I'd really like to see more from you XD This is really interesting work and very detailed too ^^

Can't wait for the continuation! Good work ^_^

*Cracks fingers* Alright! Time to bring this story back from the brink! I'm back on this site and I'm active again so I figure why not write a story? I considered starting fresh, but then I realised that I have never finished a story. EVER. And now I'm determined to finish this one! I'm not promising anything but if people are interested in this story still, I'll find the motivation to continue! ^^

I'm sorry for letting you all down in the past, but I swear that if people give me sufficient encouragement I know I can finish! I'm bringing this back from the other side!

I'm working on the next chapter now, but feel free to tell me what you think of the introduction if you haven't already.

No support for this story? Hmmm. Well I suppose it was a bad idea trying to necro this story. Perhaps I should start fresh. And try to finish this time. >_> Maybe I should use a different char for once eh? I don't know. Anyone know anything I could do to make my stories a little more interesting?

So, I heard you like feedback.

This will sound harsh- I don't mean to be. But many people barely get any feedback, meaningful or not: if you really want to keep writing, if you really want feedback, the only way to get it more likely than not is to ask an individual who's actually read your story. Even then, it'll only get you so far.

I know your dillema- if you get no return from sharing, why bother sharing? Why type it out in the first place, instead of holding everything in your head, making no copies, and concentrating only on the parts that amuse you?


But now that I'm done reading all your material, Mortis, I realize maybe I should've done that a while ago. It's quite entertaining- kind of a shame I'm a quiet type. I dinnae how guys like French or Glob do it, gushing for several paragraphs about a single story. I don't really... think about those things, wonder if I ever did.

For the weight cathegory they belong to, I think this story -and most of your other stories- are just peachy, short and to the point, with just enough description not to get bogged down.

Now, word if I may... the core of this story feels... off. He got spared by two predators- by being pathetic. Allow me a more light-hearted remark here- maybe they just don't like the taste of ham? I don't think pity can work that way, not with two hungry man-eaters, no matter how altruistic they are.

On the other hand, it'd be a fairly sweet story if you decided to go on with what you have, with having them spare him out of the kindness of their heart, and that'd be a welcome break too. But, if you'll be light-hearted, you should maybe play with Mortis' hamminess accordingly. Then again, maybe they could spare him, to a point, because of their curiosity?

I can't promise you regular feedback if you listen to me, though. I do not provide regular feedback.

Thats very kind of you Stabs. ^^ And yes you described my feelings to a tee I might add. I do enjoy criticism and encourage it. You see I wrote this story at a time when I was heavily revamping Mortis' character and so because of that I was experimenting with different psyches and atmospheres. As you said, two preds sparing anyone simply out of the kindness of their hearts is very unlikely. XD By this time I have now finished my revamp of my char and have posted with it in "Ella's adventure troop.", though I haven't done much in it yet.

I'm interested in starting anew. This time with a solid feel and character in mind. Whats more, this time Mort will not be alone. He'll have a companion. One that he has in "Ella's adventure troop" as well.

I have a good feeling about this one, especially now that I know that someone with as much recognition as you has taken an interest in my writing. So if you are interested in it keep an eye out.