Help Me Please! D:

I have a serious problem D: I need to know if it is a bad thing, that I am SOOOO sensitive and emotional that I read the stories people post on DA, or the RPs we have on the site or the ChatBox and I feel an incredible, deep sense of guilt whenever someone (who is not "evil" by my definition) is killed? I mean it completely ruins the situation for me and I get this pit deep in my stomach. Not kidding, I have literally LOST SLEEP over two stories I have read, one by FrenchSnack "A Moment and Forever" and another I can't remember by a different author. The first of which I STILL lose sleep over because I do a lot of RP's with my partner and the two characters in it remind me of a pairing we have.

I just feel like I shouldn't feel so terrible because it is fantasy, not real life or anything, no one is actually dying. I just feel so terrible...and I don't know what to do about it. Cause I do honestly like vore, obviously like most people that is what drew me here XD But the fatality of it, it almost kills me to read it......and sadly fatal vore is what this world is centered around. It bugs me to no end when something simply like an unnamed tiny or neko or humans is eaten cause I NEVER think about the pred, I think about the individual their lives, family, hopes, dreams being ruined and it makes me tear up.

The reason I am so pent up about this is because I LOVE Felarya and the adventurous attitude it brings. The chance to develop characters, create characters and write or RP about their lives is amazing. The vore aspect as I said is appealing, but after the act of swallowing I slowly get more and more depressed. Cause no matter how much happy text I write afterward I can't shake off this dirty feeling.......even if I didn't write it, or cause it I am not mad at the author. I am mad at MYSELF for liking something that brings that kind of suffering and pain......It makes me feel sick like I am a terrible person x.x

I will stop now XD Basically the questions I need you, my friends to answer is, 1. Is there something wrong with me? 2. If so how can I solve it? 3. If there is nothing wrong with me tell me why I am normal D:

EDIT: I should point out that I have never been into fatal vore to begin with, usually safe vore but unwilling (prey doesn't know it isn't going to die). But with that I still can't explain the loss of sleep and all that stuff x.x

Trust me, there's nothing wrong with you. If anything, it only goes to show that you have a lot of empathy–that's a good thing!

When I first came to Felarya I had similar experiences despite being a vorarephile, and it must have been worse for me since I'm so young. But then I always think back to the time my classmate attempted murder on me when I was 13, and remind myself that if I've stared death in the eye and survived in real life, fantasy vore can't affect me… because it's not real.

And this is coming from a guy who's lived through Asperger's, depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and post traumatic stress disorder.

Well, it means that you care about a character that isn't yourself, which is good. Empathy, like the guy above said.

Having said that, it''s usually why you clear out any deaths beforehand if you RP.

I can understand where you come from. As surprising as it may sound, I am very empathetic and get the same emotions as you. If someone dies who is not "evil" then I feel guilty over their death and want to see some retribution. Now, people have already answered your first question. You are perfectly normal, if anything you care more, so instead of repeating them, I will try and give you a tip or two for how to take care of it. I normally try to avoid reading stories like that, though the occasional one seems to do me no harm. :3

Also, look for stories from authors where preds who do eat "good guys" tend to get beaten by something. You may not feel less guilty about the character being eaten, but you will probably feel some comfort in the thought that justice was served. I find Ravana3k tends to be like that, particularly if the story revolves around Jade. Another good one is WhiskeyFox, A.K.A. Zoekin. While his stories do have random people being eaten, most of the time I have found that the prey normally is evil or deserved it, the prey is just enough fleshed out to be a person but not enough that you feel bad for them, or the predator received some sort of comeuppance from karma and such. That or the predator was just too adorable to get upset about...

personally i like a bit of empathy for my vore victims, I like a story to get me involved and get me thinking by challenging me, and i don't feel challenged if some guy dies that clearly deserved it.

I like a story that doesn't tell me who to care for, but leaves things open so I can choose a side based on the one I mostly identify with, because then I feel involved in the story instead not being told what to think and feel. And it feels more realistic too, because in life you won't meet many people are are truely evil, Hitler for example loved animals and thought eating them was wrong, dispite the fact he was a horrible dictator. If anything when I see a story with a downright villain that deserved what he/she gets, I feel insulted for being given such an unrealistic sceneario, they might as well had the hero ride on a pink pony while waving a magic wand.

I guess one way to get used to it is by writing, a good author has to learn to know when to be cruell to their own characters, otherwise they end up creating mary sues that get everything they want. While I am quite attached to my characters such as Winona and enjoy writing about her, I have to know when to slap her in the face, such as killing her husband in her back story. It made me sad me to do something like that, but it allowed Winona to develop as a character and gives an extra dimension to the overall plot.

@DarkOne I agree with you in a big way but my only problem when I read stories is I always identify with the prey, always. I always see the pred, no matter now adorable or cute she is I just can't feel happy for her or anything like that. I agree you need to teach your characters a lesson sometimes, personally I will not kill them but I love knocking them down the moment they get on a pedestal. But as far as identifying I know what you mean, in that story "A Moment and Forever" Katrika has her own part in it with Anna. So you choose which side to pay more attention to. I am not joking the parts with Leri and Netch brought tears streaming down my face, I skipped to the end to see what happened to them, bawled some more. Read Katrika's side the next day when I was calm, but even reading her side I kept thinking to the two people inside her, wanting them to be let out

@Nergal I try my best to find stories like that, I also find stories in where the pred is designed to be a character you just can't like. In which case even when they prey eventually gets eaten I take happiness in the fact it wasn't a cute pred like Crisis doing it, it was some cruel sadistic girl who takes happiness knowing that they are in pain. So it makes sense for her to kill, because she is evil.

well eitherway I don't think there's anything wrong with identifying with the prey, "A Moment and Forever" in particular was written to envoke that kind of reaction, quite successfully.

I quite like moments of Melancholy in my fiction, if something greatly moves me I enjoy it as much as any other emotion, knowing it's only fiction so I can get a bit watery eyed and then move on. I enjoyed the animated film 'Grave Of The Fireflies' for that very reason.

I guess this is really only a problem if you don't get any enjoyment from the Felarya stories at all because of this. But then it really depends on what you are looking for in the first place

Hmm...Like the others, I get where you're coming from here. I've had the same feelings myself on occasion. I just can't figure out how I've dealt with it. Maybe I just don't think about it as much? Or have forced myself not to, maybe? Somehow I don't think it has been as hard on me as it is on you, so I'm not sure how to help you. See, the way I see it, everyone before this post has only been dealing with half the issue, or less, telling you to look for certain stories. That won't help where RPs are concerned, of course, so the real answer is getting you somewhat desensitized to it I guess? Or at least finding a way you can comfort yourself whenever those things come up.

I guess my best suggestion right now is to think of the good that comes of prey being eaten. I often say how there's good and bad in everything (well, I say it to myself a lot at least ^^; ), and it's no different for vore. I mean, first and foremost the pred is happy from the meal, so that's a plus. And if their happy, their friends will be happy, so that's a nice ripple effect. Not to mention eating lets them survive so they can keep making their friends happy. And they might even have friends of prey species that they would make happy too, which they couldn't do if they didn't eat, I guess? Well that's one way to look at it. Maybe you can think of more good things about it that I can't, though, so give it a try if you like the idea.

Also, sorry for that time in the chat when:

I have tried that D: But I suppose I could try harder like you said. Just try not and think about it. I know I could easily if I wished simply not view them as people, and as long as focus isn't drawn to them like in that story I mentioned it should be easy for me. But that even makes me feel bad XD I feel like Hitler saying "Jews aren't people" D:

But I will try my best Nyaha, and the Zelkova thing yea, Elliot reaction was mine XD But I still love Zelkova regardless.

ALSO something I may not have mentioned before to you guys.....I am a vegan....I think I should have mentioned that >.> Cause I am pretty sure that has something to do with it.

shadow17 wrote:

I have a serious problem D: I need to know if it is a bad thing, that I am SOOOO sensitive and emotional that I read the stories people post on DA, or the RPs we have on the site or the ChatBox and I feel an incredible, deep sense of guilt whenever someone (who is not "evil" by my definition) is killed? I mean it completely ruins the situation for me and I get this pit deep in my stomach. Not kidding, I have literally LOST SLEEP over two stories I have read, one by FrenchSnack "A Moment and Forever" and another I can't remember by a different author. The first of which I STILL lose sleep over because I do a lot of RP's with my partner and the two characters in it remind me of a pairing we have.

Well damn; I'm sorry about that. I admit I do aim, in some stories at least, to have readers care about what happens to characters, including newly introduced characters. Because characters are people within their fictional setting, and I don't want to constantly trivialise death. So there's supposed to be an emotional response, but I didn't intend it to be that strong or painful.

As others have said, being sensitive and empathetic is certainly no flaw, however.

DarkOne wrote:

personally i like a bit of empathy for my vore victims, I like a story to get me involved and get me thinking by challenging me, and i don't feel challenged if some guy dies that clearly deserved it.

I like a story that doesn't tell me who to care for, but leaves things open so I can choose a side based on the one I mostly identify with, because then I feel involved in the story instead not being told what to think and feel. And it feels more realistic too, because in life you won't meet many people are are truely evil, Hitler for example loved animals and thought eating them was wrong, dispite the fact he was a horrible dictator. If anything when I see a story with a downright villain that deserved what he/she gets, I feel insulted for being given such an unrealistic sceneario, they might as well had the hero ride on a pink pony while waving a magic wand.

My thoughts exactly. In my stories it's almost never "bad guys" who get eaten, because that just feels trivial and "easy", and because I don't want readers to feel "it's okay that he died horribly; he deserved it".

shadow17 wrote:

ALSO something I may not have mentioned before to you guys.....I am a vegan....I think I should have mentioned that >.> Cause I am pretty sure that has something to do with it.

I'm a vegetarian, and also very sensitive. Sometimes I'm not quite sure how I manage to write what I write, and sometimes I do feel a bit bad about it. (Sometimes I feel the urge to reach back and retroactively save the singer that Milly accidentally swallowed, for example.) But really, that's part of the point. I tend to consider that death should make us react; that (as Isham would put it) every life is precious, and the loss of a life is indeed a loss. On the other hand, I also try to view and present it from the point of view of the predators, "innocently" and happily enjoying a nice, tasty, filling meal, without any malice.

I give you mad props for getting that kind of response out of me FS. I am not mad at YOU for that. The only thing it did to me was make me happy when Anna was being mean to Katrika, I enjoyed seeing Katrika hurt XD But the reason it affected me so bad is I LOVE romance, and it was a very romantic scene for me until well, you know. But anyways.......

I agree with you, I guess there is NOTHING wrong with me on this since no one has said there is a problem. So that makes me very happy. As for your suggestions I will try my best, because the way I am right now is basically "I enjoy playing video games but I don't wanna beat the game" That is the best metaphor I can use XD But yea......I will try a few of them and hopefully I will be able to tolerate the more macabre side. But I fear it will take more time than I wish it would x.x

Emapthizing with other characters is something quite normal if the story is well written. I can really understand that this happened with a story of French-Snack because is understands to write and describe characters you get very attached to. So nothing wrong with that and more a compliment for the author in my opinion. I also try to achieve this kind of writing one day