The SchwarzBurg

[Deleted by owner's request]

Great Idea! But why the German-ish name?

They didn't name it. Some travelers did.

And I thought Black Castle was better in German.

Ah. Nice idea.

A legendary community of ostracized beings... I have to say, I like this idea a lot.

No doubt if knowledge of this safe haven for misfits extended to the outcasts of other worlds, they would brave Felarya to seek this place out to live in peace. It certainly must be one of the strangest congregations of creatures in Felarya.

I like the idea, but the nitpicky in me isn't enthralled by the kingdom being older and more advanced than Ur-Sagol, while nobody has any idea how advanced Ur-Sagol itself was, and have suffered the same fate as well.

Sean Okotami wrote:

I like the idea, but the nitpicky in me isn't enthralled by the kingdom being older and more advanced than Ur-Sagol, while nobody has any idea how advanced Ur-Sagol itself was, and have suffered the same fate as well.

Don't forget Sean, SchwarzBurg is practically alive in a way, and since nobody really knows much about it before the Nobles came, it can be assumed that SchwarzBurg has been built upon and changed over the years. It could have even been warped there, given Felarya's unstable nature.

Or there's a higher force at work, given you said it's alive somehow.

There is a sort of time-line we have for Ur-Sagol, even without recorded history. Jungle can only encroach so fast, and stone wear away so much on a yearly basis. It's plausible that there is a civilization that has existed before Ur-Sagol's builders.

I do not like how intact the place is though, or its size. It would be much easier to confirm such an existing place at that size. The simplest of recon vehicles or magic would confirm its existence.

Malahite wrote:

There is a sort of time-line we have for Ur-Sagol, even without recorded history. Jungle can only encroach so fast, and stone wear away so much on a yearly basis. It's plausible that there is a civilization that has existed before Ur-Sagol's builders.

I do not like how intact the place is though, or its size. It would be much easier to confirm such an existing place at that size. The simplest of recon vehicles or magic would confirm its existence.

It's in Deeper Felarya, the trees are much bigger there and the Castle probably doesn't even break the tips of the branches, if at all.

Malahite, I dunno either. I was kind of hoping for the place to remain somewhat 'mysterious' in a way. Kinda like... uh... Bigfoot? I don't know. Travelers and merchants know of it's existence, or atleast know of the rumors, but not many people come back to confirm it's actual state. Considering how many people must live it it, I'm sure they make repairs and have been building onto the original foundation, so that could explain more of why it's so 'intact'... besides the fact it's alive and would probably be rebuilding itself over centuries (like math homework).

And don't forget the legend of the Nobles squashing an entire army in a single night (whether it's fact or fiction, we will never know), since we can assume the Nobles, like Deina, to be powerful in their respective fields, who is to say they don't have some kind of blocking enchantment upon the area?

Anyway, don't forget that the people inside are perfectly able to... 'handle'... nosy people! DEATH TO THE ADVENTURERS!

The rumor of destroyed armies shouldn't be affiliated with the SchwarzBurg then. It should just coincide with it.

I also don't like the ideas of the Nobles being able to squash a whole army in a single night. It makes them more like Guardians, and Karbo stated that he prefers the Guardians being nothing more than a background force, whose interventions are so rare almost nobody knows about them. It's just me, but I don't like the idea of those nobles being uber. Also, the thing about blind people being able to see more than people with functional eyes is seriously overdone. But it's just me.

The Nobles are slightly Uber. They don't intervene in affairs outside of SchwarzBurg buisness and they could care less if say, Negav decided to start expanding. The Guardians would. However, assuming that some faction decided to start chopping down the area around SchwarzBurg... or attack SchwarzBurg itself. Then the Nobles would fight, and since they are rather old, it is reasonably safe to assume that messing with them is NOT a bright idea.

However, it is clear that practically no one has attacked SchwarzBurg in such a degree that the Nobles would have to be involved.

And who said that the Nobles are out and about all the time besides Uwana and one of the Naga brothers (who are confined to a human sized body, by the way). I think seeing them even outside of SchwarzBurg is about as possible as seeing one of the Guardians!

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Also, the thing about blind people being able to see more than people with functional eyes is seriously overdone. But it's just me.

Being deaf wouldn't work with Uwana and Deina's story though . Deina also has her magic and web to rely on.

Oh yeah, I edited the 'entire army squashed' thing.

Just so you know, having extremely empowered characters is bad for a story. Reason: Because they are so powerful, they can resolve pretty much anything with their powers, which brings slim to no conflict in a story. And everyone knows conflict is the main driving force of any story at all. No conflict, no story.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Just so you know, having extremely empowered characters is bad for a story. Reason: Because they are so powerful, they can resolve pretty much anything with their powers, which brings slim to no conflict in a story. And everyone knows conflict is the main driving force of any story at all. No conflict, no story.

Okay, let me explain this.

1. If I was to do a story with them as main characters, it would be when they were meeting together and founding SchwarzBurg... essentially when they were WEAK, SEMI-NORMAL PREDATORS.

2. Any story AFTER then would only have them as background or history characters, since all but two of them are pretty much sedentary.

3. Tien/Tian's naga body is located underground. They can't get out easily.

4. When something can easily crush you beneath the tip of their extra set of legs, it's not interesting. When something is your size and looks like a freak, it's interesting to see them integrate with others like them.

In the main post, it's mentioned that they don't move much, you know, so how can they be interesting as main characters when one of them is underground and another is in a tower?

Point is, I have no intention of using them as main characters in any story unless it's about the 'founding' of SchwarzBurg... or discovery of the castle...

Having mega-powerful characters is fine in my opinion if:

They don't screw with any main characters on a regular basis.

Much of them is almost legendary.

They aren't mentioned a lot in the storyline itself.

The Nobles really aren't that much of a problem if they are exactly what they are: barly background characters. And they aren't supposed to be as strong as the Gaurdians. In my opinion. But my opinion doesn't really matter that much, does it.

Yay! I made an edit.

You can now die in SchwarzBurg...


Reasoning? The place sounded too good, and it would have become crowded. Yay population control!