The Way to Frost Peak

Since Hansel VS Felarya felt a bit... presumptuous, I decided to keep that as only the name for the first few chapters, which it's sorta late to change now, and a bit fitting, since there he still thought he had a fighting chance. It still sounds way better than the original name... "Goon at work".

But the next part with Hansel in Chidokai will have a different name. Forget about "Hansel VS Felarya", let's call it "Hansel VS Gunther". I mean... "The Way to Frost Peak", but it'll have Gunther in it. No points for guessing who wins in the end... and if you thought all Gunther can do is conning people, you're in for a taste of the bad dude when he's got it in for you. You know the Law of Bruce? Now we've got not one but two smart guys, one in each side, enough red herrings to keep both guessing. [I'm running all of Gunther's actions through Rythmear first, don't worry. He'll make sure I don't screw up and make anyone look bad. I didn't ask if I could say "a taste of the bad dude when he's got it in for you", though... hope he doesn't mind]

I added a poll, I'm sorta new to Felarya, and everything I've read about it tells me Hansel was doomed the moment he set foot in Negav, so I wanted some feedback on whether he should still be alive or not. Do feel free to pick the worst options, but if you're going to do so, please add a comment. Remember, this has no literary pretension, it's just something I'm doing to make conversation! So if you want to pick at the plot, the writing, or anything... go ahead, but let us join in the fun.

Still working on some details; see Hansel VS Felarya for how Hansel's been doing so far. (https://felarya.forumotion.com/stories-discussion-f5/hansel-vs-felarya-t1584.htm)

heh. I know what it's like to have a character who runs into problems.

In random rp's the situations that I've compiled are depressing and some of them I can't remember: gotten on vivian's bad side, escaped from crisis (but she swore she'd eat me someday. ouch), got dragged into hell by a succubus while still alive, and got raped, was tricked into getting a fairy magnet, so now every fairy in felarya feels a compulsion to converge on bael's location...

and various other things. but they're all just rps. still, it really sucks XD

I guess the my point is "dont worry about it too much" as long as he's alive, he'll be ok. thats what I think.

All that sounds like fun!

But keeping a human alive is too easy, just make him befriend a pred. Keeping him alive with intelligence, style and independence is what I'm aiming for. Sorta like Shikamaru, or Lex Luthor... that's what the poll is for. So that people can tell me if it seems possible that he's still alive, or if he's depending too much on extreme circumstances.

Well, as soon as I get the review and edition for Gunther's part as I wrote it, you can expect the next chapter. I'm worried someone will dislike it if Hansel starts right off the bat getting the drop on Gunther, but I'll take my chances, I'm not doing it to show how powerful Hansel is, I'm only doing it to make sure Hans doesn't get any lucky breaks at all.

Felarya's reputation sometimes precedes it. It's a world full of things that can eat other things whole. But that's not all that there's to it. Because if you're willing to see past the vore, you'll know that each of the people who die are people. But so are the people who eat them.

And each of them has a story, a personality, and maybe if you were able to meet them in a different circumstance you could easily become friends. There are plenty of stories about how they find the only treasure truly worthwhile in Felarya; for anyone who actually earned himself enough of the abundant gemstones, rare artifacts, and almost unheard-of precious metals would not only gain a truly cliché reward, but would also probably wreck whatever economy he tried to use it on. The only real treasure to be found there is love and friendship. However, only predators seem to realize this.


This is not one of those stories...


This one contains large amounts of adventurers, strategy, troubleshooting, explicit violence (and it's violence against women and animals, giant or otherwise), money, starts in a tavern, ends in Hell, and contains dangerously evil protagonists who are above all not to be used as role models. If you're offended by such material, then please keep reading and, I beg you, do tell me how offended you are. Stuff you don't like makes for a neat conversation kickstarter, which is more or less the whole point of this fic. Remember the only treasure there is to be had in Felarya!

P.S: Don't try this at home. I do not condone the use of quicklime, sulphuric acid, trip wire, shotguns, fireballs, flame arrows, hammers, shiny mushrooms, swords, slingshots, bow and arrows, revolvers, switchblades, shortswords, explosives, violence against animals or women (no matter how tall), and above all, don't do any potions... err, drugs. But don't do pot either. Stun guns are A-OK though.

P.P.S: No predators were actually harmed during writing. So don't try this at Felarya either, it won't work.

P.P.P.S: Don't let the comic relief fool you. Things are going to get REALLY difficult here.

======

After leaving Negav, the party of adventurers decided to go to Nekomura first. Because Hansel thought it was really important to buy socks and underwear for everyone. The trip to the neko city was thankfully uneventful. In the city, they bought clothes and little more. Then they set off to Frost Peak through Chidokai.

And skipping the part where Hansel went shopping for socks in Nekomura, because even I have a lower limit to what I consider fun, let's get right to the afternoon, right after entering Chidokai...

-My point is that it was completely uncalled for!- Hansel growled.

-No, you absolutely deserved it.- Trish said.

-And what are you complaining about, anyway? You got off with just a stern lecture.- Joey cut in.

-Yes, I'm not a kid. I know nukes are dangerous, I just wanted to know if they had some in stock. They didn't have to call the sheriff!- Hansel grumbled. Then he sighed.- At least, I had my revenge...

-Two things. First, we have to be sneaky, smart guy.- Tandy interrupted, turning to face him.- Second... revenge?

-Yes.- Hansel grinned.- While on my way out of jail, I stole this...- he grinned, pulling out a long coil of rope from his sack. Tandy frowned.

-Wait... which rope was that?

-The one the sheriff uses to get from work to home.- Hansel chuckled.- That jock better watch his first step tonight... or it will be a really long first step.

-And I swiped some handcuffs too!- Will chuckled.

Will and Hansel high fived.

-That's vandalism! You damaged public property!- Tandy exclaimed, amazed.- Intending to cause bodily harm!

-Don't be so dramatic. I just stole some ropes, and those were everywhere, anyway...

Tandy shook his head.

-Well, okay, now be quiet or else we'll attract a predator.- he said, clicking his tongue afterwards.

-By the way, how does predator sense work?- He put the rope in his sack.- I'd hate it if suddenly all our stealth was for nothing, and everything hungry in the jungle decided to eat us.

-That won't happen. Predator sense isn't well understood, but believe me, it's not like a Deus Ex Machina that throws everything at you all of a sudden.

-It isn't?

-No. Else, how would I be alive? Believe me, right now, silence's our best friend. So please, be quiet.

-Okay.- He contained the need to ask Tandy if there were any carnivorous plants around.



The small group advanced in silence through the twisted, hollow, moss-covered cyclopean trees that were as common in the rainforest as grains of sand in a desert. The sight was unsettling to Hansel... something nasty could jump out from any of those millions of spaces (yes, millions: obstacles seemed to merge together and multiply the number of spaces to hide in, and each hiding spot was a hiding spot to each of a number of different places, so a million didn't seem like an exaggeration) and make an uneventful day a costly battle instead... or worse, much worse. He couldn't keep them all in sight at all times, and even if he stopped to look around every five seconds, those things could need less than that to go from "hidden" to "on your face", even silently. If there ever seemed to be a space where he could fight without anything leaping from somewhere hidden... it was probably an illusion, and he had to pull out the sulphuric acid, because a dryad was no doubt hidden close by. He also wondered if he had really planned strategies for every possible contingency that could happen, and if they would work as well as he thought they would...

The Way to Frost Peak Part 1: Jerk VS Jerk VS Jerk

He was right, of course. All the things that were looking at him didn't need even half of five seconds to go from "hidden" to "having breakfast" even in complete silence. Luckily, not much was looking at him, only a small group of three fairies.

-What a bunch of idiots.- the first one said. She was the one best-suited to the environment: her skin was almost the same colour as bark, and her wild hair was a mossy green.- I give them five more minutes before they're eaten.

-No, wait, that guy looks like it's not his first time crossing the forest.- the second fairy said. She was... dressed. With a T-shirt that read "I'm with Bob", and an arrow pointing at the space between her and the third fairy. She had light brown, short hair, blue eyes, and no other identifying features.

-Okay, an hour.

-Don't be like that...

-I agree with Marlene.- the third fairy said. She was blonde, with brown eyes, and had a bitter expression in her face.- They'll be eaten in an hour.

-I give them a couple days at least.- the second fairy said.

-Okay, Samantha, two days. Now how many do you think will be eaten?

-Well, I don't know, I'd need to see them face something before I could decide that.

-I say half of them will get eaten.- Marlene said.

-I'll take a chance, two will get eaten.- the third fairy said.- That white guy among them, and the kid... I already hate them, they're remorseless thieves and...

-Okay.- Marlene sighed.- Remember, don't eat them yourself, Tina.

-I'd like to bet they'll last until tonight, when four of them will be eaten.- a male voice said between Samantha and Tina.

-Shut up, Bob.

-Okay.- the voice said. Strangely, it seemed not to belong to a body.- Just wanted to remind you two things: one, my name is Metzger, not Bob, and two, that they're bound in Gunther's direction and fifteen minutes away, so you know...

-Gunther! Oh, I hate that guy.- Tina sighed.- Poor people...

-Yeah, right, you hate him. And poor people, too. Right.- Samantha chuckled.

-You know, it's not recommended to argue at this size and in this place.- Marlene pointed.- Except with Bob.

-Come on, we all know Tina had a crush on him!

-He screws people over all the time!

-That's what attracted you to him in the first place. You spent all-nighters talking about him, about how he was so handsome, smart, canny, relentless, strong, how he was perhaps a noble being beyond the purview of good and evil...

-So what? He's still a jerk.

-You wrote stories with you seducing him.

-Yes, but...

-And then you tried to eat him.- Marlene interrupted.

-I didn't know what else could I do about the butterflies on my stomach, I was young and silly. And he hurt my feelings!

-It hurt your feelings!?- Marlene chuckled.- Girl, we all would have hurt your feelings too. Besides, why do you care? It's not like he was a danger to us...

-Why am I living with you two?

-But we're three...

-Shut up, Bob.

Marlene laid a hand on Tina's shoulder. She recognized the signal.

-Frog at eight o' clock.- Marlene whispered.

Tina nodded in silence, stood behind Marlene, who shrank so that she could hold her in her arms. Then Tina spread her wings.

The three fairies flew out of their hiding place, and up, into the canopy, trying to take a path where they offered the least possible profile to any other predators.

======

And five minutes away, a man in a heavy cloak, wearing a pointy straw hat, a set of dark googles and a scarf had already found the group. At this distance, he could tell it was a six-man group. Taking a look around, he decided there was nothing stopping him from spying on them as much as it was required.

So he zoomed in with the goggles. One, no, two nekos, one was from Nekomura, or at least had gotten dressed there, and the other one was just a kid... he wasn't a sorcerer (it was strange they let him come) and he was probably from Negav. A hulking Qesjhatam, he looked bored, so he was an adventurer, and a dumbass. Also one fair-skinned Miratan not native to Felarya, with black sunglasses, but a mouth that betrayed his worry. He had good reason to be worried, however. The next one was... those features were untraceable in that mix, either a genetic aberration or an idealized transformation. There was very strong magic coming from the sack he was carrying but none from him, so he was just a person with odd genes. Probably half-human, although the other half wasn't obvious at sight. Then there was a woman, or a man... no, a woman. She could've fooled him, though. Also she was a witch. Her strange phenotypes (green hair and brown eyes) told him she probably was from another world...

All in all, the older neko was the leader, they were transporting that kid, and the four were an adventuring group. A well-financed one, it seemed, judging from the sack of magical items the white guy was carrying... come to think of it, why was that guy hogging all the good stuff for himself? Probably he was the one who paid for them, and the whole expedition too. Were he able to get that sack and its contents, he was sure this day would've been worthwhile.

He checked where they were going, and got into position to intercept them... step one was determining the rest of the corresponding information. Where was that white guy from? How to get him to give up his stuff?

======

-Greetings.- Gunther said.

The older neko at the front made a swift gesture at everyone, then nodded. They stopped... the five of them looking at that man.

-Greetings, stranger.- he said, smiling. His accent was somewhere between Chidokai and Nekomura.- My name's Tandy, and we are travelers. You may be?

Acting as an authority figure would probably not fool them. So he had to resort to a different tactic. He stared at the alabaster man. He stared back.

-Who is that man?- Gunther asked.

-I... think you should introduce yourself first. There's no time to lose, after all...- Tandy chuckled.

Gunther advanced towards him. As expected, the pale man's eyes widened in something that was perhaps shock or terror. At this distance, he could also see the man's weapon... a sword slung around his back. It wasn't magical.

-I'm looking for a mongrel like you.- Gunther said, in his firm, commanding voice. He could see the artery in his neck beating like crazy. He WOULD talk.

-Uh?- he said. Gunther now had an accent to place... unfortunately, he couldn't. He'd have to try and get the pronounciation outta him. Nevertheless, he had answered to 'mongrel', which meant... he was a half-something.

-I'm looking for a murderer. Can you prove me you're not that murderer?

The man blinked, once or twice. Then he calmed down.

-Eet Ees Eempussible te prove Eennocence, meester.- he said, slowly, in a nasal voice that quaked slightly. The fear was leaving him, and smugness was taking its place... at this moment was when people were the most talkative.

-Well, that's true.- Gunther said.- My name is Gunther. I'm a bounty hunter.

-Een that keese, Ee'm Belthomeeas.- the alabaster man said. Gunther could tell he was lying... it was subtle, but possible.- And Ee'm e bounty henter as well.

Now he had a baseline to work with. He recognized that pronounciation, from some demons who spent their time in Felarya... this individual had grown up in Hell. Third circle, probably... so he was a half... demon. Well, that made this deal very easy. Since he had all the good stuff, that meant he had only one person to fool. But still, he waited for a moment.

-That's wrong, you're called Hansel!- the kid mouthed out. That was his cue to start.

-You will NEVER have the right to call yourself a hunter, bounty or otherwise, mongrel skinchild...- Gunther growled.- Your bluff was weak, and inappropriate. Do you think yourself smart for lying to a complete stranger? What were you afraid I'd do with your name? But that's not the worst, your rashness can be excused as despair... but despite all your preparations, you didn't even pack a simple flare gun. What would you do if you were lost in here?

-Well, Aee...- the man began, then frowned.- How deed you knew aee had no fler gun?

-Foolish skinchild. Have you forgotten what powers bestows TRUE blood?

-No speceefeec ones, eef Ee reememeber kerrectlee. Ye ken't ble-eem me fer net expecteeng...- he was speaking faster, his "e"s were starting to escape him.

-Hold your breath already, its reek of mortality is unbearable.- Gunther hissed, leaning in.- You don't have to expect ANYTHING. As far as you know, I am GOD. You should remember THAT, if you can't remember anything else...

-Are you going to let him talk to you like that? Hansel?- Will exclaimed.- Punch him in the gut already!

-Weell, thees eesn't the taeem to...

-Silence, FOOL. At least the kid has the spirit to think about fighting back, even if you don't have the courage to act accordingly... or the strength to make it work.- Gunther added, mockingly. The man pursed his lips... and Gunther knew that he had reached the limits of his patience.

-Weell there be eneytheeng else?- He asked, shivering.

-Yes. While it would be enjoyable for me to think about the demise you've brought upon yourself, and your companions, by your sheer foolishness, I think I'll spare you the shame, for a price. I have a flare gun. But I will require an artifact in exchange. I can see you've brought several, and I'm feeling generous, so I'll let you decide which one can you do without.

The alabaster man stood back, stretched up, and sighed.

-Ekey, Aee have three ef these peteeons... so Aee can...

-No, Hansel. You're not paying me enough to bring a flare gun.- Tandy interrupted.- Mister, we thank you, but...

-Bet we NEED e fler gun!- Hansel mouthed out between clenched teeth, looking on the verge of tears.- Ee'll even geev ye twe ef them!

-No, Hansel, you're not! You can't let this guy treat you like dirt, who does he think he is?- Will exclaimed.

-Why don't you tell him who I am? Maybe he'll sympathize with you a little.- Gunther grinned.

Hansel sighed once more, and turned to Will. He took him away a little, and then told him a few things in a very low voice. Then he returned to Gunther, whose eyes were stuck on the kid, who was now behind the rest of the group. He started digging into his sack, but took too long. His hands were slow, they trembled, he was sweating...

-I'm growing impatient!- Gunther snarled. Hansel seemed to stiffle an eek, stagger back, trembling, and then walk back towards him, slightly hunched.

-Zer's yer petee-ewn.- Hansel said, showing him a flask full of a yellow, half-transparent liquid. Gunther sniffed.

-What TREACHERY is this?- Gunther growled. Just as expected, he had tried to cheat him.- Are you truly that stupid!? Do you think I can't recognize sulphuric acid on sight? You've mocked me for the last time, fool! Good riddance!- he yelled, turning around.

-Aee wholeheertedly agree, ye aeenbred meren.- Hansel said, suddenly in a different tone of voice. Gunther turned just in time to see him point at him with a stun gun.- Hend ever ze fler gun.

-Hah.- Gunther spat... now that man would probably try to rob him blind. Well, there was a way to make sure he didn't.- I underestimated you, mongrel... you're as underhanded as any full-blood. Very well, I'll humor you. Here's your flare gun!

Gunther quickly drew out and fired the flare gun at the man in white's face. He jumped to the right, and fired at Gunther's neck. But he was too slow, too inaccurate; Gunther easily avoided the shot, and then began running, before the others got their wits about themselves...

...though even before he reached maximum speed he suddenly found himself tripping and hitting the ground. He covered his head with his arms, and then stood up quickly, to then feel something around his neck that tightened too quickly, followed by the sound of closing handcuffs.

-End thet's hew ye dow eet!- he heard the guy say.- Zenk you, Will.

Gunther turned to see Will, the neko kid, holding a small roll of string. He knew that kind of string...

"But how...?" he wondered. "Oh, he put it while I was posturing... very clever, kid. Unfortunately, it's useless."

Meanwhile, a healthy distance away...

-What!?- Tina exclaimed.- How did that happen?

-You weren't paying attention?- Metzger, the invisible fairy asked.- He took the kid away for a moment, that's probably when he told him to place a trip wire; note that he went left a bit more than necessary. That way when he approached Gunther again, from the left, it seemed so natural that Gunther probably ignored it, as the kid went backwards and to the right, hiding behind the group.

-And how does that help things any?

-Since Gunther's wearing goggles, his vision field is a bit narrower, so he probably couldn't perceive how the kid went from behind the group to behind a tree to their right, and then sneaked around them, placing a trip wire between the trees. Gunther would usually hear a sneaking person, but not only is this one a little neko kid, also he either timed himself to walk only during Gunther's loudest syllables, or did so by sheer accident, and placed the trip wire.

-I still don't get it.- Marlene sighed.

-Then when he tried to leave, Hansel dodged to his left, which is the direction in which Gunther should've escaped. However, by getting on the ground, he was in position to catch Gunther's legs if he tried that, or pull any nasty surprise he wanted to. Going left, he would've exposed himself to Hansel. Going right, or backwards, he'd have tripped. Then there was going forward, straight into the rest of the group; Gunther wouldn't have done that. If Gunther leapt into the air, the shooter among them would've probably had a clear shot. The only right move was not by the wire, but jumping over it, and it only worked if he had the time to see the wire.

-Wow, that's clever! He had this won in one move!- Marlene said, surprised.

-No, I'm not sure this Hansel noticed all those details I just mentioned and took them into account.- Bob pointed.- He probably just had the kid set a trip wire, and got very lucky after that.

======

-So what house do you serve?- Hansel asked. He didn't know how outrageous his accent sounded from the outside.

-Hm.- the man answered.

-No, nevermind, I'll find out on my own, going through your stuff...

-Oh, no, you won't.- Gunther chuckled.- That flare will attract predators... It'd be on your best interest to leave as quickly as possible... some of these predators are my friends. You should release me... maybe I'll show you mercy.

-Don't worry about me, worry about yourself.- he smiled, taking his hat and throwing it away. Then he grabbed his goggles.

-Not the goggles.- Gunther growled.- Seriously.

Hansel shrugged. Then he pulled on those goggles, stretching their band as much as possible... before releasing them. They whipped into Gunther's face. It was painful, but nothing to write home about.

-Okay, you had your fun!- Tandy exclaimed.- He's right, I hate to admit it, I know he was a jerk, but he's right! We've got to run, and we've got to do it now!

-Not yet. I want to see if he's got anything interesting...

-No, we don't have time!

-Yes we do.

-No. You don't.- Gunther answered, sounding oddly pleased.- Do you think you're the first one to get the drop on me? Escape, now, maybe you still can.

Hansel grimaced. He really wanted to savor the victory, gloat a little... but unfortunately, they were right.

-I'll make this quick...- he said, drawing his switchblade. He cut open the back of his capture's robe, and tore it off, throwing it away. Then he tore off the man's shirt with his bare hands. Finally, he found a small sack, cut off its straps, also slicing the naked flesh beneath, pulled it off, for good measure cut open his pants near the waist and then tore them off, picked something from the pockets, and only to drive the point home (and to charge his adrenaline), he roundhoused the shirtless, pantless man on the face. Gunther snarled in pain.

-Let's run.- he said, throwing the sack at Joey. He caught it, and the six of them ran off into the distance...

======

Gunther got to work on freeing himself as soon as he regained his composure: that had been one hell of a roundhouse, and that guy had been a real doofus with the switchblade. Luckily, no arteries were harmed in the making. First he clicked his heels together to push out the knives at the end of his boots. Then he pushed himself as close to the place where the rope around his neck was tied, and spreading his legs, he brought his boots as close to his neck as he could. With amazing cold blood and precision, he sliced carefully at the ropes binding his throat, until they finally gave way. Then he stood up, and in a single jump, he ran his legs through the hoop formed by his arms, cuffed at the hands. Crouching down, he picked up one of the knives from his boots, and ran as he picked the lock on the handcuff. He knew the right direction to run towards. They, on the other hand, hadn't been so lucky...

...then again, some of their bad luck seemed to have rubbed off on him. In front of him was a small group of three fairies, each its own colors, different from the rest, the three of them sitting on a high branch, a few feet above him, their legs dangling on the air. The blonde one seemed displeased.

-Why hello there, Gunther.- she hissed.

-Well now, long time no see Tina... I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to return my calls.- he responded, a tinge of surprise evident in his voice.

-Cut the crap, Gunther. I know very well how you feel about seeing me.- she snarled.

-Please, Tina, stop. It looks like you want to eat him. Again.- Marlene chuckled.- Hi again, Gunther, long time no see.

-Marlene.- Gunther nodded in greeting - How's life treating your pretty self?-

-I'm fine. Thanks for asking.

-And... don't think I've forgotten about you, Samantha. How's Metzger? Still as invisible as always?

-We're doing fine. But what about you?- she asked, talking for both herself and her brother.

-You win some, you lose some... Or to be more accurate, you win some immediately, you win the rest later-

-Yes. We saw it.- Tina interrupted.- You had it coming.-

-You always did love to watch me work, but that fellow was an exception.You expect your average knuckle dragger to be civil to his fellow man.-

-Is that why you called him a mongrel? In front of the kid?- Tina asked, happily venomous.

-If you're going to walk the walk, you need to talk the talk.- Gunther dismissed.- So what misfortune brings you to my neck of the woods?-

-We're on our way to Soral Swamp.- Marlene said.

-Not that it's any of your business.- Tina added.

-Of course, group solidarity and all that... speaking of which, remember that time I led those dopey hunters into your trap - well how'd you fine ladies like to repay that kind gesture by making a meal of those folks so I can recover my trinkets?-

-Oh, you know, we'd be happy to...- Marlene grinned.- But could it wait a couple days? We were betting on how long can they last on the forest, and our longest wager was two days.

An irritated expression crossed Gunther's face - though of course, they couldn't see it.

-Two days? Okay. What are the stakes?

-You want in?- Marlene asked.

-Not as such... These people are no slouches, and it's rare to meet someone who actually pulls off something you didn't expect... I'd count it as a personal failing if I didn't open the taps on them myself.-

-Okay Mr Conman, follow us.- Marlene grinned. The three fairies flew away, with Gunther pausing a moment before his pursuit.

-I see you're still as outgoing and chatty as always Met.- He commented sarcastically.

-Of course... I got some attention from commenting how that guy beat you. You don't mind, do you?-

-Nah, knock yourself out... you'll be changing your tune soon though my friend.-

======

Thanks to Tandy's pathfinding, running through the forest's maze became somewhat less suicidal than it could've been. Half an hour later, however, it began to rain.

-Damn.- Hansel chuckled.

-What?- Tandy asked, as he led them somewhere they could wait the rain out.

-I just noticed that I've got a bottle of sulphuric acid and a stun gun, but I forgot to pack an umbrella.

Tandy groaned in response to that little crack as he led them to a small hideout where they wouldn't get too wet.

-You're very jolly for a guy who almost got all of us killed.- Rehsams groaned.

-I'm sorry?- Hansel exclaimed.

-Did you have to brutalize him so thoroughly? Couldn't you just have slit his throat and called it even?

-No, that light attracts predators, as you said, and they like their food alive.

-Then couldn't you have just left him there, roundhoused and clothed?

-He could've escaped.

-And what was so bad about that?- Rehsams exclaimed.- Seriously, you should've just killed him.

-Kill him? That's all?- Hansel sighed.

-I agree.- Tandy said, sternly.- That was very dangerous, Hansel. Don't do that ever again. He was a jerk. You should've got over it or slit his throat. We had no time to waste.

-At least we got this.- he said, motioning at Joey. He was the only one smiling.- Pass me the sack, Joey.

-I'm amazed you helped him, Will.- Trish said, shaking her head.

-He was being mean to Hansel!- Will exclaimed.

-And tried to con me.

-You could've just said no.

-He didn't deserve that.- Hansel smirked.- Look, he said he was friends with several predators, so he probably deserved it. He should be fine, too, since he has predator friends. Ironic, isn't it?

-He was lying, obviously!- Trish exclaimed.

-Well, then he didn't deserve it, but he's not okay. Oh, wait, yes, he deserved it anyway.- Hansel clicked his tongue.- Not my problem anymore. No one tries to pass as a full-blood to con me and lives to feel smug about it.

-Heh, I understand...- Joey grinned.- Don't open it too fast, it could be a trap.- he said, passing him the sack they had gotten from the guy.

-From that guy?- Hansel pursed his lips.- Yes, that's true, it wouldn't be too surprising. Okay, maybe we shouldn't open it too quickly. Oh, sorry, Tandy, is it safe to talk now?

-Don't worry. The rain will cover our noises.

-Then isn't it safer to travel now?

-No, it can get flooded pretty quickly, and also very slippery. You'll just waste your stamina and put yourself at the mercy of everything that swims...- he gasped between his teeth.- Oh, by the way, you'll love this, Hansel Strike. When it rains, some creatures go around poking their noses in every nook and cranny they find, so you'll probably have a fight before the end of the day. We're about to find out if your battle plans work.

Hansel would've paled if he could.

-But... I didn't consider the rain; we can't get out, and we can't use rock salt or fire. Tandy, if we fight here, we've got got a good chance of being wiped out completely.

-I know. It's also the reason there aren't that many spine beetles in Chidokai, or tonorions, even though it's really damp, and often dark. Living underground is a form of suicide in this place.

Hansel nodded.

-Any other insights about Chidokai? When it rains?- Hansel sighed, bitter.- I can't believe I overlooked the rain... the books practically were screaming about it, but I forgot it...

-Don't worry, it's almost always raining around here. Even if you didn't take it into account, you probably didn't have to. Still, after rain, everything comes out to eat... including slugs, tonorions and frogs. Matter of fact, the most dangerous creature while it rains is the frog, if you're in movement.

-And if we're entrenched?

-I'd say... well, either nagas, or mermaids. Depends how much it rains. If it rains little, nagas can come up and eat you. If it rains a lot, you can start worrying about mermaids.

-Come to think of it, there's something I should do... I'd better adapt my battle plans tonight, the environment is quite different from what I expected.

-You do that.- Rehsams smiled.- By the way, what is a "full-blood"? What's so bad about people passing as them?

"Crap. I said it out loud? Oh, easy lie to get away with this."

-A noble from where I'm from. Crazy place. They... have... scary powers.

-And you're a halfblood?

-Yes, so I... don't have scary powers. I've got a purpose in life, though, so it's okay.

-A purpose in life?

-Serve my masters.- Hansel added.- Don't worry about that.

-Are you a Vishmital?- Joey asked, pulling down his shades for a moment.

-Who? No. Who're they?

-Crazy people. They really like the idea of rebuilding their empire. More than they like people.- Trish said.- A friend told me.

-They're really nice, though. There was this girl... well, not really a "girl"...- Joey began.

-Because she was a boy?- Trish asked, pursing her lips.

-Because she could've been my grandma... and that's why I LOVE Felarya!- he chuckled.

nice chapters ^^ good for them for not failling for Ghunther's tactic

Thanks ^^. I was really worried Hansel would come out as overpowered or out of place for doing that.

The Way to Frost Peak, Part 2- Ho Rawr



Credits to Silent_Eric for the Cool Oxalis and Stam Root, two plants which have made Felarya a thousand times more colorful without any need for direct combat applications.

I also wish to thank Zoekin for the chilotaurs, which are about as default-friendly as you can get in Felarya, small enough to be careful with adventurers, and thus a good way to introduce characters, us, to giant predators without letting us know how screwed we are. Thank you, Zoekin.

Dream sequence here. Be forewarned, crazy things happen when Kaede's in control.



Against Tandy's pessimistic predictions, the thing that found them announced itself before meeting them.

-Greetings, travelers!- they heard, over the rain. Hansel drew the machete upon hearing the voice. Rehsams gripped his hammer firmly. Trish spread her fingers, her lips parting and relaxing as her eyes squinted. Will coughed, and clutched his knees. Joey grinned like a fool, drawing a shotgun. Tandy placed his hands on his waist.

-I heard one of you coughing, don't worry, I'm not eating you if that's what you're worried about! I'm just asking you don't open fire with everything you have when you see me. Looks like there's room for one more in the place you found.

Tandy nodded.

-Keep your weapons up. You, keep your hands up, and you can come in.

-Thanks. Means a lot to me.- she answered, crawling into the place from outside.

Hansel's eyes narrowed as he saw what was crawling into the place. First was the torso, about twenty-odd feet tall, and then an humongous centipede as long, at least, as a bus. Just as yellow, too. She had a very ample bosom, he couldn't put it in context with the rest of the body, because it was a new sight for him. But what drew the most his attention were two wriggling antennae on top of her head, emerging from under the black hair, over her yellowish skin.

-Oh, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Jenny.- it said. Hansel took a deep breath.- And you?

-Don't be shy, people. Chilotaurs aren't too voracious.- Tandy grinned.- Hi, Jenny, I'm Tandy. Those over there are Trish, Will, Rehsams, and Hansel. Hansel, her eyes are a bit lower...- he said. Hansel's eyes were starting to feel stuck to her antennae. Compounding the effect was his hand, almost glued to the handle of his sword.

-No, it's okay. Means he's not stupid.- Jenny shrugged.

Hansel finally relaxed his grip, and sheathed his sword.

-Nice to meet you, Jenny.- he smiled. Will snorted, grinning. So did Joey. He looked at them, and then advanced towards Jenny, where he bowed graciously.

-Now that's what I call an inversion! What is it?- she chuckled.

-It'd be best if you didn't know.- Hansel said, looking around with a wicked smile. Even if she was able to walk around the walls and ceiling, in her current position, her extended body would be vulnerable to Rehsams' blows, and Trish's magic would have a lot of area it could hurt. Not to mention they'd put up a fight, and her mouth wasn't that big.

-What a creep.- Jenny sighed, looking around.- Thanks for letting me stay here, Tandy.

-I'm not sure that was such a bright idea...- Trish murmured.

-Believe me, Trish. She's as afraid of us as we are of her.- Hansel grinned.

-I'm not.

-Then you should be.- He looked smug.

-Sorry about Hansel. He's kind of a war nut.- Tandy shook his head.- We won't hate you if you snack on him...

She smirked, looking at the man in white.

-Though you probably shouldn't. You don't know where I've been.

-And I don't care. Anyway, I'm not happy I can eat you, I'm just happy I'm safe from the rain.- Jenny chuckled.

"Wait a minute, if she lives in this forest, shouldn't you have a place where you can hide from the rain?" Hansel wondered.

-Wait a minute. If you live in this forest, don't you have somewhere to take cover from the rain?- Hansel asked.

-Yes, that's why I knocked first. Though you should've been the ones to do it... usually, this is MY spot.

-Oh, sorry about that.- Tandy smiled sheepishly.- We'll leave soon, don't worry.

-I'm not worried. Well, except about him.- she said, nodding about Hansel.- So, he's Hansel, you're Tandy, she's Trish... and who's that little cute thing?

-I'm Will. I'm not little!- he exclaimed.

-Oh, come on...- she said, with a smile, turning to him.

-I wouldn't do that if I were you. He can curse like two angry sailors and their parrots.

-Aw, but he's so cute! I just want to hug him a bit...

-It'll be better for everyone if you don't.

-I'm not going to eat him.- she said. The corner of her mouth was saying something else, though.- He's so kewt...

-Keep her away from me...- Will mumbled, terrified. She started to blush.

-He's cute, girl, but you'll get over it.- Hansel said, looking away for a moment. When he looked again, however, he realized that the moment had sufficed... she was already holding him to her face, snuggling cheek to cheek.

-Can I keep him?- she asked. Hansel shook his head.- He's so soft, so smooth, so warm, and he's got such nice hair...- she raised a finger, and curled it around the kid's head. Then she started stroking his curls.- Awww...

-Get her away from me!- he yelled.

-Don't yell, you'll only attract something that really wants to eat you.

-That's a lot like the dream I had last night...- Hansel said, for no particular reason.

-You had a dream last night?- Rehsams asked.

-Yeah. A silly dream.- he said, dismissively.

-Well, tell me!- Joey grinned.

-Nah. It was just a dream.

-Care to provide us with an insight into your crazy psyche?- Trish asked.- We'd all want to know what's in your dreams.

-Oh, why the hell not. I dreamed... I was back in school, and Will was my schoolmate. I woke up late and I hadn't done my homework, so I tried to copy it from a girl on the school bus, but I couldn't, because she had all her answers wrong.

-Except for the bus, I think I get it all.- Tandy said.

-Bus. It's like a car, but much bigger.- Joey grinned.- So, what did you do?

-You dreamed about me?- Will asked.

-Yes, Will. I tried to copy it from you. You didn't have the answers I wanted, either. You just had a porn magazine, and you had written the same answer for all the questions you were asked.

-You say that like it was a bad thing...- he answered, as smug as he could.

-Whossa naughty boy? Whossa naughty boy?- Jenny asked, placing a huge kiss on his cheek, and another, and another...- Whossa naughty boy? You're a kitty!

-Look, I can take a compliment as well as anyone, but I'm afraid you're about to lose control completely... so if you could just put me down, I'd appreciate it...

-Aww, you want to talk me out of hugging you? You're so cute!- she said, holding him tighter.

-Will, don't bother. Doesn't matter what you do, it's still cute.- Hansel growled.- I'm talking from experience here; some of my friends could tear their girlfriends' eyes off, and girls would still write threatening anonymous messages to the judges, just because these guys were cute. You could be the one eating her, and she'd still find you cute.

-I'm not going to eat him!- she protested.

-Okay. So as I was saying, you had a porn magazine, you gave it to me, I put it under my desk, the teacher asked me for my homework, I can't remember what she asked. But that was one of the answers I hadn't found, and then she came up to me, and...

-She screwed your brains out?- Joey asked, grinning.

Hansel laughed.

-No.

-Then I don't want to hear the rest.

-No, it gets better. She found the porn under my desk, and I got sent to detention. I told her I had looked for the answer everywhere, but that I couldn't find the answer. So I asked her what the answer was...- Hansel made a pause to remove all the good parts.- ...and she said that there was no answer, that it was okay.

-Did she fuck you afterwards?- Joey asked.

-It ended there, so, no.

-Weird.- Joey said.- That must've been a hell of a boring dream.

-Not really.

-Was your teacher hot?- Will asked, trying to stay composed, despite the barrage of kisses he was getting.

-... Yeah.

-Ah, so you DID...- Will chuckled, when suddenly, one kiss went a bit deeper.- You're making me uncomfortable...

-Awww! You're like a baby, only cuter!- she said, holding one of his hands in her smiling lips. That made everyone uncomfortable.

Tandy grimaced at the sight. It was like seeing fire advancing towards a baby, only that this fire could get offended if you tried to put it out.

-Suddenly it doesn't seem as much fun to think about me being eaten, does it, Will?- Hansel teased.

-Stop it! She'll eat me!- Will growled.- You guys need me, don't you? Who'll lasso an attacking kensha beast, Hansel?

-Well, okay, he's right.- Hansel said. "It would usually take a braver man than me to do this, but we can take her on if she resents me for it." Then he relaxed himself, preparing a technique that would save Will. A secret forbidden technique taught only... in Hell, handed down the generations of minor daemons, his father among them.

He took a step forward, his hands loose to his sides. "Atmospheric Smasher!" he thought to himself.

-Okay, hoo, that's it!- he exclaimed, making his voice as hollow as possible. Then he clapped, much louder than a normal person could.- That's it, put him down. That's it. Hoo!- he clapped again.- Hoo! That's it, put him down.

As expected, she glared at him. That Atmospheric Smasher always caused a glare, at least. But it had worked. She was now staring knives, and cleavers, and sawed-off shotguns at him, but she no longer had the kid's arm on her mouth.

-I wasn't hurting anyone.- she growled, her voice broken, as if she had something on her throat. Then she put the kid down.- Why couldn't you leave me be?

-Your mouth was around his arm.

-My lips were around his arm, not my mouth. I wasn't going to eat him! I told you I wasn't going to eat him! Why did you do that? It was horrible!

-Get over it.- he said trying not to look too smug. This technique not only broke the cuteness proximity, but with weaker minds, it also prevented the cuteness factor from being restablished until he decided to revert it. Hansel used this technique on all his ex-girlfriends.- Is it going to stop raining anytime soon, Tandy?

-Hmmm... no.- he sighed.- It looks like we're here until tomorrow, so everyone, be excellent to each other, okay?- he looked concerned.

-Heard him? That means no "HOOP CLAP HOOP", Jack Frost!- Jenny growled.

-And no snuggling with cute little children either.

-Why won't you trust me? Come on, kid, I don't bite...- she said, turning towards Will again, her smile becoming a bit more aggressive, her head leaning in closer, and closer. "Oh, no, her willpower is far too strong for my technique, and to make it worse, it seems like she's got an oral fixation of some sort! I cannot save you, Will... you'll have to be strong..."

-Control yourself, you're making us all uncomfortable.- Rehsams finally said.

-Are you SO afraid I'll eat you all? I might do just that, then!- she protested.- If I wanted to eat him, I'd already have done it! So stop whining already.

Hansel shook his head.

-Let's all go to sleep. Will, take one for the team, and be a macrophile tonight.- he finished. He got a glare from everyone in the room.

"Oh crap, I used the Atmospheric Smasher again at beyond maximum intensity, without noticing... I need to cancel it quickly!"

He forced a chuckle a little after the end, pulling out a bottle of mineral water from his sack. Then he screwed out the stopper, and chugged down a gulp before continuing.

-I'm just having a little fun at your expense, Will. You said it, the predators were the unique and fun thing about Felarya, didn't you? The only good reason to be there?

Will shivered.

-Yes, I did.- he finished.- Okay, I'll be brave...

Hansel shook his head, smiling. Jenny's smile was broader than ever.

"Will, if only you knew that most predators outside of Felarya go for the children first, you maybe wouldn't be so quick to take one for the team."

-You're really brave! Don't let anyone bite you!- she exclaimed, holding him tight to her cheek, before laying on her side and going to sleep.

-I suggest we do the same.- Tandy said. Then he lowered his gaze.

-Oh, by the way... what are you doing in Chidokai forest?- she asked, after a while.

-We're going to Frost Peak.- Hansel said.- We're following some thieves.

-So you're going through Chidokai? All alone by yourselves?

-You volunteering?

-Nah, I'd probably get hungry with you all around. I'm just asking, because if there's anything you want to know... I know this forest.

Hansel raised his eyebrows. A native source.

-You can ask anything you want.

-I think I'll trust Tandy here, instead. He knows this forest, too.

-Oh.- she said.- I'm just saying, because there's many people who end up being eaten because they didn't know the forest. For example, you should avoid any places where the ground's too high, since tonorions often live there. Also, you'll see sometimes a plant with pink leaves growing straight from the ground. The roots store TONS of energy, you'll want to keep that in mind. Oh, if you find a bowl-shaped flower, they're always full of fresh dew. Keep that in mind, I know you can't be carrying that much water, don't try to fool me. Also...

-I have planned this for a long time.- Hansel replied, tensely.- I hired Tandy precisely to fill that role.

-And if he gets eaten?

-Then you won't be there for me to ask. No, Jenny. You may know a lot of things, but I'll have to pass. Unless you know about Frost Peak...

-No, I'm sorry, no. You see, I don't need clothes, but... it's still too cold in there, I've never went there.

-I see.- Hansel shook his head.- Good night, Jenny. Feel free to warn us if anything comes here.- he said, before he lowered his gaze, and let himself drift into a light sleep, lullabying himself by thinking of tactics.

======

He shook his head quickly as the coffee splashed into it.

-Damn it, Tandy, can't you drive straight!?- he growled, staring at his partner.- Now I've got hot coffee all over my face!

-I'm trying, I'm trying, but this guy's car is too fast!- Tandy growled, turning the steering wheel violently. Left, right, left, right, that yellow car eluded them once, and again, and again... unwitting civilian cars became their greatest enemy, as was always the case. Having turned on the sirens didn't help them; people were just too stupid or too jaundiced. Actually, they were stupid to have let themselves become jaundiced.

-Quickly, we're losing him!- Hansel growled.

"This looks cool." Hansel thought, dreaming.

-We're not going to make it, we need to call reinforcements...

-No, Tandy, this is personal!

-Personal!? Have you forgotten everything we've learned in the academy?

-Just give me the wheel...

Hansel struggled to get in the driver's seat, put the foot on the accellerator, then changed to the fastest march, and started cursing like a sailor.

"Wow, I'm so cool!"

-Come on, come on!- he hissed.

-Frosty, you're going too fast!

-Strap on your seatbelt and shut the fuck up.- he said, without taking his eyes off the road.

"Pow! Right in the kisser!"

Tandy strapped on his seatbelt. His cat ears were as high as they could get.

-I'm serious, I'm calling reinforcements.- he said, taking the communicator... again, without taking his eyes off the road, Hansel slapped it out of his mouth.

-You're not calling anyone. We're doing this MY WAY...- he hissed.- Gunther.

-Gunther? Is that his name?

-Yes.- Hansel growled. That yellow car had just crossed a red traffic light, and had gotten itself in a highway... there was a colossal line behind that traffic light...

"Oh, it's gonna take more than that to stop me."

-He got away!- Tandy said.- What are you doing? Use the brakes already! Brakes, we're going to...!- he groaned in terror, seeing that Hansel was driving into the long line of cars.- Hansel, you madman, stop it already!

-No. He's not getting away.- Hansel grimaced.- Hang on tight...

"Oh, yes! No one gets away from me!"

-No! NO!- Tandy exclaimed, covering his face with his arms. But Hansel had already done it...

...he had just thrown the car into the lane, altering its balance radically; while two wheels were on the ground, the other two were running over the other cars around them, shattering a long line of windows... And in so doing, they got around the traffic light.

The car was two hundred metres ahead of them, but they were gaining fast. Tandy tried to make the best of the situation and took the megaphone.

-Unidentified yellow car, pull over and park immediately. This is the Negav Police Department.

No response. They were 100 metres away.

-Unidentified yellow car, the one with the "Honk if you like Bugleberries" bumper sticker, pull over and park immediately.- he tried.- This is the Negav Police Department.- he added.

They were 50 metres away now.

-Unidentified yellow car, pull over and park immediately. This is an order!- Tandy exclaimed.- Damn, what do we do?

"Shootout scene!"

-What do you think we do, Tandy? THIS!

-No! NO!- Tandy exclaimed, as Hansel drove right next to the car.- GUNTHER! PULL OVER! NOW!- the half-fiend yelled angrily.

The driver didn't answer.

-You don't get to ignore me!- Hansel cackled, swinging the steering wheel. He slammed his car into Gunther's. Both shook, and Tandy looked at him again.

"That's right, I'll show him what I can do!"

-That's it. Let him go, Hansel, you can't...

-It's PERSONAL!- he yelled, swinging the car again, and again, and again, forcing Gunther towards the side of the road.- GUNTHER! YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY FROM ME! COME BACK!

-"Come back?" Just... who is this man to you!? He can't be that important!

-Shut... the fuck... UP!- Hansel exclaimed. There were tears in his eyes. Then he slammed into Gunther's car one last time, and threw him off the bridge. Tandy looked in terror.

"Awesome, but... something's wrong!"

-What... the fuck... did you just do?- he asked, shaking his head.

Hansel didn't say another word. He just pulled over where it was closest to the ground, and got off the car.

-This is unit 0576. We have a rogue officer, and probably a grievously wounded man.- Tandy said, but it didn't matter anymore. He went to the edge of the highway... and looked down. Then he held from the edge, and dropped, trying to land on a nearby bush. He succeeded... and then walked up to the wrecked car.

"Uh oh..."

The man was still inside. He approached the door on the driver's side, looking at the stiff body inside. He touched the door... and it fell off. Looking inside, at the scarf, the wild hair, the goggles... it was Gunther, no doubt about it.

-Gunther... why didn't you stop...?- he asked. There was no answer. A trail of blood ran down from his head.- Gunther, why didn't you stop? Why... why didn't you stop? You'd still be alive if you had stopped... but you didn't! So you wanted to die, didn't you?

"What happened here? Why am I spouting corny lines?"

The body couldn't answer. He unbuckled the seatbelt, and pulled him out, laying him down on the floor.

-Why, Gunther, why? What was so important you couldn't stop running? Why... why were you running? What were you running away from?- he asked, a sad smile forming in his mouth. His eyes welled up in tears, as he slumped on top of him.

-Why did you leave me, Gunther?- he said, coughing up his tears.- Why did you leave me? You promised me that we'd be together forever... what could she offer that I couldn't? I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to hurt you, you ignored me... you wanted to use me and then throw me away...

"I GET IT! I'm not DAYdreaming, I'm GAYdreaming! And why with that dude of all people? Tandy's a lot cuter!"

Coughing in tears, he wrapped his arms around the man's shoulders, and held his head. He sank his face in his cheeks, planting one last, passionate kiss on his forehead, before biting his lips and, with all inhibitions gone for the moment, kissing him in the stiff, wet mouth.

-Farewell... my love...- he cried, smiling.- Farewell.

[...]

Now he was in sergeant Kaede's office. She was very sexy, with those thin lips, and those bangs of raven hair on her temples, and Gunther was dead and oh god he wanted to die...

"Wash the gay flavor out of my mouth, please, sweetcheeks."

-You idiot.- she shook her head.- You fucking idiot.

He smiled, looking away.

-Look at me when I'm talking to you.- she growled.- All of this is your fault. We had been tracking this man for YEARS. We could've protected him, damnit, had you done your job. He would've spilled the beans, he would've told us where they were holding the drugs... but you had to go and make a mess of this, didn't you?

He looked at her. He wasn't just smiling, he was smiling smug.

-What are you so happy about? He WOULD have told us about the smugglers!

-Now he can't betray anyone anymore.- Hansel smiled.- He won't betray those people like he betrayed me. And that's all I care about.

Kaede grimaced in disgust.

"Just kill me already, girl." the dreaming Hansel thought. "End this nightmare."

-Your nightmare has just begun, you moron.- she growled.- I told you to find out what NEMESIS is... and you couldn't even do THAT! You knew better than to get involved with Gunther, and YOU WENT AND DID IT!- she growled.- You're a disappointment to this police department, and I'll see to it... that you're charged with murder in cold blood, and...

-Cold blood? This is love.

She looked at him, amazed, shaking her head.

-That's it. I won't take this anymore. Your sense of reality is obviously compromised; I'll have to shock you back.

-Are you going to hit me? Nothing can hurt more than his death...

"Shoot me. I love girls with guns." Hansel thought, still hoping it could get better.

-No. I'm not going to do that.- she groaned, breathing deeply.- Not exactly, at least...- she went around him, and locked the door. He smirked, as she walked again towards her desk, and closed the shutters, darkening the room.

-What was that for?

-So that no one can help you as I "experiment" on you.- she growled, turning towards him. Her presence seemed a lot more imposing now.

"Sounds good..."

Then she looked at him. Even in that darkness, he could see what she was doing. From one pocket, she pulled out... a syringe? Yes, a syringe. He stood there, doing nothing.

-I'm not really mad at you, Hansel.- she chuckled, as she rolled up her sleeve and injected herself.

"The gay scene I kinda saw coming, but this was a surprise..."

-I knew you'd do that.- she sighed, discarding the syringe and slamming her hands on the desk from opposite him.- That's why I picked you, Hansel. I... I knew... you'd do that...- she said, gasping, and starting to bend over.- I knew... you'd kill him, Hansel... and THIS... would hit the streets...- she giggled. He snorted.

-You're pathetic.

-Am I? AM I?- she moaned.- AM I PATHETIC, HANSEL!?- she shouted, staggering back until she hit the wall.- AM I!?- she asked, curling herself into a ball under the window. He watched, with no reaction.- CALL ME PATHETIC AGAIN, HANSEL! I DARE YOU!- she yelled.

-Look at yourself. Look how low you've fell. I saw you. I saw you getting more and more nervous as the investigation went on. I knew you had made yourself scarce, and more scarce... Now, look at yourself, you're getting high in front of me. Because you can't wait anymore. You're nothing but a little wretch, and it won't be a week before you're a whore in the streets.

-No, Hansel...- she said, shivering.- I wasn't being impatient. I wanted you here... when I got high. Do you... know why? Hansel!?- she yelled, gasping.- Keep telling me those things! It only makes me hornier!

"I want this on DVD!"

-I know what you want, Hansel, and though I can't give it to you, but... you know what I want.- she said, standing up, or at least trying to stand up. She was hunched, seemingly a bit disoriented.- Give it to me, Hansel.

-You... are insane.- he just said, contemptfully.- You're a sick, little wretched...

-Yes! YES!- she exclaimed, running towards him. To his surprise, she kicked away the desk in mid-step, and then threw herself on top of him. He heard something ripping, and then felt himself thrown the remainder of the distance towards the door... and then through the door... with her on top of him, then landing and hitting his back with the doorknob.

-ARGH! What the hell!?- he roared.- Get off me, you freak!

-Freak? Who's a freak?- she roared, bending backwards, pining down his arms, when suddenly the three top buttons in her uniform flew away. Everyone in the police station stared, the people at the telephone stopped talking, and he looked around, feeling something warm flow around his head. Blood, probably...

-GET HER OFF ME DAMMIT!

-Curse! Curse me more! Now!- she moaned. He gazed at her, amazed... her rolled-up sleeve suddenly exploded, and he realized her arms were getting larger. Feeling her hands on his arms, he realized she was gripping him stronger, and stronger. Nevertheless, her hands were as soft as silk...

-You're hurting me, idiot!

-Idiot...- she moaned, drooling.- Yesss...

She was getting heavier. Much heavier, her knees were making it difficult to breathe; as if his lungs were no longer his own. Thankfully he still could breathe. She slid backwards on top of him, he felt her shifting her balance, enwrapping her legs around his'... and oddly enough, they were getting too long.

-What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?- she gasped, leaning in towards his mouth. He turned his face away, and she released his arms, grabbing his head, and turning it towards herself. He clenched his teeth, but she was too strong, and her tongue found a way to open his mouth. He tried to bite it away, but with every time he bit it, it just swelled up bigger, while the rest of her shook violently. And if his chest was to be believed, she was getting bigger too.

He looked at her, disgust welling up in his eyes. She opened her eyes, and looked into his', drinking deep of his hate, disgust, powerlessness, and all those things she got from him. Her eyes rolled back as she held his head against her chest for a moment, bending backwards, and swelling up like a bread bun.

-Aaaah!- she moaned.

-Get off me, you freak! I don't swing that way!- he growled. She just grew more in response.

"Yes I do! Don't get off me! I like where this is going!" Hansel thought. "Come on, use her weakpoints, be more creative! Insult her honor, her intelligence, her family, and her appearance! Don't stop, Hansel!"

-YES!- she moaned.- YES! YES!

-Okay, that's enough!- Tandy exclaimed, getting close to her.- Miss, get off him!

-Get away you SPINELESS WIMP!- she yelled out at the top of her lungs, as her shoulders finally tore through her uniform.- GIVE ME ROOM!

-I need some help in here!- Tandy shouted. A few other guys came closer, but when they did, she just swatted the seven of them away. Other smarter officers who had kept their distance pulled their weapons... she turned around on her knees, her skirt giving way to her hips, holding him against the wall.

-You're going to die, moron!- Hansel yelled.- Get away while you still can!

-No... Hansel...- she hissed, barely able to breathe.- You... I... not... anywhere...- she added, smiling. At this point, even on her knees, she barely could fit in the ten foot tall ceiling of the police station, and everything was as tight as it could get. She placed a colossal hand on his crotch, and then rammed her body against him as the bullets hit her back.

-So you're going to take it all off? See if you can make me straight?- Hansel roared, looking at the hand on his crotch. She was wearing only underwear now, and even that was only an excuse.

"Mmmm!"

-No... Hansel...- she grinned.- That will wait until the fifth date. And until you find out what a nemesis is, of course...

"Fifth date...?"

-And remember, Hansel. Don't you do anything stupid like you did with Gunther ever again. Save your poison for me.- she said, though her finger, running circles around his crotch, revealed that poison was just an unusual euphemism. Then she licked her lips, her thin, pink lips, as they parted, letting her tongue came out to play. She grabbed him, pinning his arms around his body, and then stuffed him in her mouth. His furious own tongue got eclipsed; there was no room, wherever he yelled, it was like shouting into a pillow. A warm, wet pillow.

"Oh, well, hate to watch her leave, but love to watch her go." he thought, feeling how her throat crammed him down, and down, until his skin began to itch in a warm, dark, damp place with an oddly exciting smell.

-Remember, I'm not taking it all off until you know what a nemesis is.- she said. Then he heard a sound like the ceiling had came down on top of something, followed by a very strong moan.

======

"It started out like the gayest dream I've ever had. But it got better near the end." Hansel thought, yawning, and smiling. "At least the chick was sexy. Boy have I been dreaming about her. She must've bewitched me..."

-Penny for your thoughts?- he heard someone say. His head turned around fast, until he caught sight of Jenny.

-Jenny, err...- he put his thoughts in order.- Does "nemesis" ring any bells?

-Nemesis?- she asked, raising her eyebrows.- Yes... they're a race that looks like humans, but... well, they're extremely agile... and they can mark you with a glance, to eat you in your dreams.

Hansel's jaw shivered, and he took a deep breath.

"Wow, she REALLY bewitched me..."

-When they mark you, you start getting nightmares when you go to sleep, and they'll know where you are, too. These nightmares get more vivid with time, or with closeness... and she can eat you just by being close enough when you go to sleep.

-So if she weren't close enough, she couldn't eat me?- Hansel asked, grimacing.

-Why, are you marked?

-No, I don't think so.- he shrugged.- Any advice when dealing with one?

-Yes... don't mess with them. A nemesis... well, they get their kicks the same way everyone does around here, and they just have to look at you... So you're... kinda screwed?- she smirked.- But you're not marked, you told me so, so I guess you're not screwed.

Hansel cracked his neck.

-It was just a nightmare.- he sighed.- You weren't just screwing with me with that answer?

-If you don't feel like talking, don't.

-Sorry, sorry... guess I'm still a little... nervous from the nightmare...

-Hey, look, I didn't eat Will.- she giggled, showing him a sleeping neko kid.- He's so cute... are you sure I can't keep him?

The Way to Frost Peak Part 3- Honk if you like Tactics

I'll begin this chapter by addressing the fact that Arboreal frogs have been designed by Karbo and bugle lizards by Silent_eric. Note, however, that in the wiki, arboreal frogs are solitary predators, and bugle lizards don't live in Chidokai.

After leaving the chilotaur's company, Tandy led them east towards Frost Peak. But there still was a long way to go... specially given it would likely rain soon again, it was Chidokai, after all. The trip was bound to get pretty long. So they kept their mouths shut and concentrated on covering the maximum possible distance, sacrificing a little stealth from time to time if it seemed safe.

While they were walking on a large root, Tandy raised his fist to the left. The group had agreed that was a 'stop and stay alert' signal. So they all stopped, and everyone looked around...

Tandy's and Will's ears moved. Trish also caught they sound, and the three of them were quickly looking at the direction where the sound had come from. On the other hand, Hansel saw them and looked the other way, expecting the noise to be a trap meant to distract them for something to attack from there. He put on his most dangerous gaze and a hand on his sword's hilt, trying to look as disuassive as possible.

Tandy sniffed the air.

-False alarm. As you were.- he sighed, pointing at the animal that shook itself on the undergrowth a few metres away. It looked like a monstrously big green rat, but once it saw them, it squeaked and ran off.

It wasn't an hour before it had started to rain again. And this time it was a freaking downpour, flooding the forest around them, transforming the landscape in a way that would have seemed impossible. Thousands of droplets in every square centimetre obscured the world around them, the air filled with cold vapor.

-Oh, doesn't it ever stop raining here?- Hansel complained.

Tandy shook his head.

-Sorry, but we'll have to keep moving.- he shouted, trying to be heard over the rain.- I gave you an early break yesterday since we'd had to run, but it rains more often than not here!

Hansel's brow twitched.

-You should've told us! That changes everything! What good are modified shells if...?

-Think twice before saying that out loud! The forest has ears!- Tandy warned.- Let's just move on, cover more ground before it gets flooded enough for fish to come out at us.- Joey shrugged, and then kept moving.

Joey walked up to Hansel.

-Would've told you myself, but...- he shrugged.- I wanted more shotgun shells.

-Son of a bitch...

-There's a silver lining, almost nothing can hear us over the rain!- Tandy exclaimed.- So you only need to be half as sneaky!

-So we can talk now?- Rehsams asked, trying to make himself heard.

-We can, but we shouldn't! Save your breath, it's easy to lose! We can only be tracked by smell now, or stumbled at random...

-Or by predator sense?- Hansel growled.

-Five points for Slytherin.- Tandy chuckled.- Seriously, save your breath.

======

And even in the rain, someone was still looking over them. Not to help them, of course...

Tina ran a hand over her blonde curls.

-It's not because of themselves that they've survived this long. Had that chilotaur been hungry, they'd have been all eaten.- she hissed.

-Calm down, Tina, you're making me nervous.- Samantha said.- Why are you so mad at them?

-I'm not mad at them. I'm mad at you.- she said.

Gunther, next to them, again clad in the same attire as always, tilted his head. Those guys had been for sixteen hours in the forest, ten of which were AFTER meeting him... He had to give them a little credit. Only a little, however.

-Why are you mad at me?- Samantha asked.

-Because of him!- she exclaimed, pointing at Gunther.- Why are you helping him?

-I'm not helping him, Marlene is.- she said.- Don't worry, it'll only be eight hours before she stops helping him.

Gunther didn't react. He already knew what Samantha was talking about, and his mind had already planned against such an event.

-Oh.- Tina said. She already knew what Sam was talking about too.

-Who do you take me for?- Marlene asked, looking outraged.- I'm helping him because he's a friend.

-And because if they die within eight hours, it's closer to one hour than to two days, isn't it? I wonder how long would our friend last when you realise you won't be having any of these people.

-Let's cross that bridge if it happens.- Gunther answered, confidently.- Right now, they've been taking a half-hour stroll through the mud, under the rain, against the wind... I've seen entire armies undone by such recklessness.

-Mmmm... army...- Marlene smiled.- So you think you can take them on?

-Perish the thought, I'm a word-smith, not a blacksmith. Where others use swords, I use the large thing between my ears.

-A coward with a big nose you mean?

-Such venomous words Tina? Why loose them on me, we're on the same side... after all, you're part of this bargain too.

-Whatever. Just make sure whatever you throw at them leaves two at least, so we can split them.

Gunther tilted his head. He knew her well enough to know that signs of humanity tended to influence her opinions... And with that in mind... he was better off without encouraging the subject. So he strode off into the fierce weather.

Being notably sure-footed, and having long, long years of path finding experience etched into his muscles, getting from "a hundred yards away" to "a hundred yards ahead" - even through the remarkably difficult terrain without them noticing was second nature for him. The rain and the forest made it much easier for them to get bogged down, but for him it was just a walk in the rather unpleasant park. Now he just had to find something that wanted to eat them... or something that wanted to eat him but would settle for them if they couldn't find him.

That part could have presented quite a few problems, but one thing that had always favoured Gunther... was luck.

-Hmm, if I had a tail, you'd be my new best friend- he commented casually, keeping his distance from the creature that was looking at him warily, and slithering away cautiously.-And now the fun part... how to introduce my new friends to you-

======

Tandy's group found a fork in the roads they could take: one was a thick root straight east, the other one was a large branch to the north, and the jungle was flooding behind them. The neko pursed his lips, frowning; rarely if ever did it rain this much. It was already a good moment to start worrying about the mermaids.

"That path's the most direct. But that path is firmer."

But then he saw something stirring under the root path. The water was already high enough, and now he could see something round floating on the surface. That high path would be impassable at this point, wet and tired as they were, it was overkill to add a toxotidas.

-Let's go that way.

That other way was firmer and much thicker. Even if there were more toxotidas, they could just crawl along the ground. Same went for exovoles. Arboreal frogs could be a problem, but they were high in the canopy already: they could be covered in branches, but their round shape would give them away nonetheless if they were big enough to be dangerous.

Finding themselves on the middle of a tree after going through the branch...

-Everyone okay?- he turned to ask. He was almost out of breath at that point; even in that world, crawling through muddy ground, often uphill, under the rain, in the wind wasn't easy.- Take your time to catch your breath, everyone. Will, you okay?

-I'm okay.- he said.

Tandy smiled.

-We could stop for lunch here if you want to.- he said, unwinding. That was the worst thing he could've done. Then he stood up, calmly, to take a look around.

-Well, zat's gewd, Tendee...

-Oh, CRAP!- Tandy said a moment later. He was answered with a hunting horn's sound. He ran back to Hansel, who was pulling out a wet sandwich from his sack.- We've got to get moving, now!- he exclaimed, while a hunting horn sounded behind him. Hansel looked at him warily.

-Whaey? Whaet's ze preblem? Whet's thet sewnd?- he snarled, standing up.

-I found a bugleberry bush, and some bugle lizards... they're going to keep honking until we leave...

-End et ettrects predetewrs.- Hansel said, his teeth grit.

-Yes, duh!- Tandy growled.- We've got to run! Now! The rain will muffle their honks, but...

The pale freak stood up, his teeth clenched.

-...ketch ez if ye ken- he nudged Joey. The six of them stood up, Tandy looked for a way out. There had to be a way out before anything too big arrived... and if they were lucky, that wouldn't be the way that the big thing would arrive from.

======

Samantha looked down at the group as they followed them, Marlene flying next to her. She liked the rain. No one would hear her buzzing wings there under the rain.

-Wow, that pale man's hardcore...- she smiled.

-Yes. I wonder if he'll survive?- Marlene wondered.

-That Gunther really screwed them over.- Tina commented.

-I know. Clever, isn't he? That fish he improvised with his cloak and a rock was a real shocker. Even I thought it was real.- Sam commented.

-Don't sing his praises. You'll be the one to eat him, he just stole your dinner.

-Says who?- Samantha smiled.- They will make it.

The group had just reached another three-way. Tandy made a split second decision and decided to go one way. The other five followed him, but then he went back his steps, avoiding a long tongue which he cut with a large knife.

-Look, they're under attack... eh, some'll survive. It's just frogs.- Marlene said, disappointed.- One or two will survive, and from the looks of it, it's Tandy...

-Well, nekos taste great!

-Shut up. I want to watch.- Metzger said.- I love a good fight.

-YOU tell US to shut up, Bob? That's new.

-Watch...

======

Turning our attention back to Hansel, he looked around, grimacing. There was too much rain around him... and something was tugging at the hairs on the back of his head. Something felt really stupid, something told him he'd made a mistake... something told him he had just gotten himself screwed, something hated him, and the world around him, and the rain, and the sun, and the moons... and KILL, KILL, KILL...

He stopped thinking in those terms before he started seeing red.

-Arboreal frogs!- Tandy exclaimed.- Any plans!?

-Arboreal frogs...- Hansel repeated, his voice transmuted into a low growl. He didn't know why, but for some reason, he felt older now. Ancient. Wrathful. Wronged. Invincible. He tried to shake off the feeling, he knew that could happen. Sometimes a half-demon believed himself to be so more demon than he really was. That usually coincided with the moment they made a fatal mistake, commited themselves to it, went bonkers, then died in a really stupid fashion.

The group had just spread around Will. One brown, colossal, 10-foot tall frog arrived. Then two more. And then two more. And then two more...

...right before the last two arrived. So it was nine versus six.

Hansel drew a clean sock, placing it over his hand, improvising a puppet. Tandy drew a larger knife. Rehsams had a hammer, and Joey had a shotgun.

-You know what to do.- Hansel nodded. Then he pulled something from his sack... a large bar of something white, inside a large glass container. He was careful not to get any water on it.

-Bait?- Metzger said.- Good luck with that, Hansel. They're kind of big.

He snapped a bit off. Then he shook a hand, very quickly. As expected, one tongue shot out towards him. He blocked the tongue with the sock, and then turned the sock inside out, to catch the white material inside it. Expectedly, the frog retracted its tongue, and then wiggled something on its mouth once it had the stuff inside. Everyone heard a snapping sound.

-As you can see, our base treatment for oral fixation produces terminal results.- Hansel chuckled, as the beast opened its mouth, red fumes blowing out, while its mouth tissue swelled and broke, its brain sizzling and withering in the heat. A few moments later, the frog fell from its perch into the water beneath, dangerous sparks still rising from its mouth. The two frogs next to it seemed to shiver for a moment...

...and then one of them shot a tongue towards him, catching him by the middle. He didn't seem too fazed by that as the tongue reeled back into its mouth, getting him in there. The massive berserker tried to catch him, but failed... and let out a low snarl.

-You were right, Samantha, this guy's hardcore.- Metzger said.

-Shut up, Bob.- she said, watching intently.- So now they're five against eight...

Joey shot at one of the frogs, using a saboted armor-piercing round. The steel-cased slug hit its forehead, and the frog leapt into the water with a shell lodged on its face; it had hurt. Another frog threw its tongue at Joey's gun, pulling it away. He looked surprised for a moment, before being caught by another one; Rehsams managed to catch him before he was reeled back, but the big guy happened to have quite a bad case of butterfingers. Four against eight.

-Wow, they're dying like flies...

-Not so fast!- Tina exclaimed.- Look!

Trish pointed at one group of two frogs, a burst of flames enveloped them. Both of them jumped into the water immediately. Then they heard several shots coming from one of the frogs, the one Joey was inside, and as it dropped sidewards to the water, the fairies realized its brain had just been shot dead from the inside. Five against seven.

-But the gunner's still going to drown now, isn't he?- Marlene asked.- So they're going to die anyway?

-Not so fast, look...- Metzger pointed.- They got a third one!

The frog that had eaten Hansel also fell from its perch, twitching and spasming. Hansel forced its mouth open and grabbed the branch while it fell.

-Hurts, huh!?- he snarled, getting back to his feet. The last frog next to the one he killed with something white turned its eye at him, and he ran towards it with the blade on hand, thrusting it towards its eye. The frog avoided the attack, and leapt into the water. Six again, against seven.

-That's why you don't attack head-on. Guess he was a bit too hardcore...

-No, wait, look!

The frogs in the water were having their eyes turn red... and then bleed, while their skins welted and burned, their mouths parched and split in the water... Six against seven, with five permanently blinded, with a rash, and their tongues and mouths incapacitated.

-Nemyra's...!- Tina exclaimed.

-Would it be a good time now to tell you not to touch the water?- Hansel chuckled.- Get Joey back, poor guy must be dying in pain.

======

Will threw a rope at Joey, and Rehsams reeled him in. The two remaining frogs that hadn't yet touched the water got the picture, and decided to look for their meal elsewhere. Such as the direction where that "Nemyra's...!" had just came from.

Joey and Hansel got back to Will; Joey himself had his skin red and welted in white foam. Hansel took another potion from his sack, and handed it to Joey.

-Take one gulp. Don't ask anything.

Joey draught down one gulp, and then adjusted his shades as his skin grew back, gasping.

-What the fuck did you throw at them?- Tandy asked, surprised.- It's not the acid you brought, is it?

-Well, I wanted to save the acid, so I just used a bit of quicklime.- Hansel smiled.- It makes flesh melt upon contact. Even dissolved, it's more than enough to irritate your skin... and destroy your softer tissues like eyes, mouth, and in some amphibians' cases... pores.

-Quicklime? Why didn't I ever think of that.- Tandy grimaced.- Why didn't you tell me your plan?

-Why didn't you tell ME your plan?- Joey snarled.- I went blind for a moment! I thought I'd never be able to shoot again!

-Because you "forgot" to tell me flamer and rock salt shells would be useless because of the rain. The two of you.- he said, pursing his lips.

-That's not a justification...- Joey snarled.- If you were a moron it's your own bloody fault...

-It was the best I could come up in the spot, and I didn't get the time... so, well, sorry, but glad you're okay. Now, Trish, get back his shotgun.

-Okay...- she said, spreading her arms, and forming a large fire wheel in her hands. Then she threw it at the frog that had his shotgun; it missed on the first blow, but then it changed its axis, and sank straight into the frog, despite its struggles to get away; matter of fact, the distraction was so strong that it lost its balance and dropped. The frog fell from the middle of its jump, right in front of Will...

But for just the briefest instant, Hansel could've sworn he had seen something glitter before the frog, look at him, and then fly away. He narrowed his eyes.

The frog's cartillaginous insides cracked and squished repulsively as it hit the ground, and without giving it time to react or recover, Hansel sank his blade between its eyes, piercing the woodlike flesh and pressed until he was sure he had gotten to the brain, where he twisted HARRRD. He nodded at Rehsams, who forced its mouth open, and then crawled in, returning after a while with a shotgun in hands. Joey took his shotgun, with a harumph.

-At least, I could do that.- Rehsams snarled.- If only those frogs had come closer... I really wanted to smash something...- he grimaced.

-Now we walk away, Tandy, those frogs can't bother us anymore. Not without their eyes, their tongues, soon enough without their noses. Any predator will now have a big selection of dead and crippled prey to pick from. They won't be looking for the little guys who did this.

-That's just wishful thinking, Hansel. What feels like common sense to you and me feels like a paradox to most predators.- Tandy sighed.- Besides, I don't know about the taste of quicklime...

-It tastes very bitter.- Hansel sentenced.- Let's hope they don't find us, then. This bloody mess on chemical spill should be enough to conceal our smell if we leave quickly enough.

-Won't it hurt other predators on the water? Who'll come looking for us later?- Will asked, gritting his teeth.

-No. Quicklime will form salts relatively quickly; this place may be flooded, but the damage is controllable.

=====

-Do you think he saw us?- Marlene asked.

-I don't think so...- Samantha said.- Did it seem to you like he saw us, Tina?

Tina had a hand right under her neck.

-I think he did.- she said.- Doesn't matter. He can't fly.

-I think he doesn't need to.- Marlene chuckled.- But it still doesn't matter, unless he brought a tonorion, we can eat them anytime we feel like it.

-Or an opal mingo. Those things were a damn nightmare while crossing the river...

-Speaking of nightmares... Gunther's got only six hours left, doesn't he?- Tina smirked.- Then you eat him, Marlene.

-I'm not going to eat him. Why, do you want to eat him?

-That's enough.- Tina snarled, flying up to Gunther.- Your last plan failed miserably, mister...-

-Perhaps that's how it appears to you my dear, but as a member of the 'bigger picture' club, I can tell you it was a distinct success... They've wasted valuable supplies and ammunition on a few tree-frogs, and with a decreased stock, they're all the more vulnerable...-

-Tch... nevertheless, do you have anything left up your sleeve?-

Gunther opened his palm, revealing nothing... and then, with a twitch of his wrist, a mouldy playing-card appeared in his palm, a symbolic Ace of Spades... -Always-

In our next chapter...

http://devastar.deviantart.com/art/The-Way-to-Frost-Peak-4-161272817

Survival is not a game...