Annette

Appearance: She look like a regular Naga except the snake half is can change colors. She is 80 feet long and 35 feet tall. She very beutiful.

Age:25

Behavior:She acts childish sometimes and other times she doesnt. She is neutral and her diet consists of fruits and berries and small animals. If a human harms her physically or mentally She will eat the human. In rare cases she eats humans when she is starving. She may also eat humans for no reason in some case.
If she does get a hold of a human she will give the human a chance to give her a reason why she should no eat it if the reason is good she will let the human go if she sees the human again she will not give it a chance. If the reason is bad well you know. If she chooses to eat the human it will play with eat, mostly she will put it in her mouth and then take it out and keep doing that.

skills:She was born with all her abilities. Since She Lives outside of Negav she does her hunting there. Camouflage.She has a very sticky tongue which is used to get her prey faster. If she is extremely hungry she has they ability to go inside any mans mind with in 10 miles who is asleep she will then tell then man to come to her and when there she will try to seduce the man by kissing him which injects a venom into him which causes him to to fall in love with her making him easy to eat (she only does this if she sees that going inside the mans mind is not enough). Since they are not as cruel as most other Naga sometimes they will stop the stomach acids from flowing and simply drain the prey of its energy while it sits in the stomach this is completely painless and eventually the prey falls into a deep sleep and the the Naga will release the stomach acids to digest the prey, they will only do this if they prey is not rude in any way and does not try to attack it while in the stomach. The can also release they prey if it chooses by simply making the stomach push out the victim and then it will spit it out on its hand and place it on the ground (more in the personality section)
She also has a magic-prof stomach to stop mages from teleporting (a very difficult ability and can only be done ability to master and can only be
done if the person knows the complex Innate magic) out.
personality:She can be very nice or extremely cruel if she chooses to eat a human and the human is not cruel it may release it after absorbing some of its energy, if the prey is cruel she will not release it and digest it in a slow and painful way. She can be provoked if attacked or insulted but if treated with respect she will might be friendly and let you go on your way.

Hunting methods: She is fairly voracious As mentioned in the skills section she will make a man come toher and seduce him.She sometimes also use disguise them selves as the background and simply catch the prey with her sticky tongue. She will also lay down on forest floor and if she can catch prey with her hands then she will get it and and gulp it down. If no humans are available or she is in a nice mood she will eat fruits and some of the wild beast. She also dislikes the taste of Neko's

Backstory: Annette was born near the born near the Giant Tree. When she was just born she was about one foot long and weighed less than a pound during a windy day she was blown away from her parents and landed outside of Negav and it is unknown what happened to her parents .
she ate fruit that fell from the trees until she meet a nameless fairy who shrunk humans down and fed them to her untill she grew to her full size she did not know how to hunt . The until she meet a old naga who taught her how to hunt and she became a pro at it. Sadly her mentor passed a year later and because of this she will let somebody go if the lost some one dear to them though but only works if it was a recent occurrence . She knows that she may never see her parents again albeit she doesn't really mind it as her memories are not good ones.

Likes/Dislikes: She hates rudeness and people who are arent kindhearted if you fall into that category you have no chance of escape and she will eat you with out hesitation. She loves people who have a good heart and those who show sympathy and she likes people with a good singing voice this will help you alot if you want to stay alive. She dislikes the taste of Nekos as mentioned before. She also loves to eat mages because when she absorbs energy from her prey if she chooses to she says mage energy tastes the best. She also hates people who are arrogant and only care about themselves. She hates liars more than anything.

locations:She lives right outside of Negav and sometimes travel through the forests to get outside of Neko Village some times travel to other parts of Felarya by forest.

Please leave me feedback

Um...wow...I can't even begin where to start as to what is wrong with this...

Start from the top, and slowly work your way down Flare..

Seriously tho, while the concept is good in theory, this needs rewriting with more thought put in, badly. Oh, and paragraphing is your friend.

hmm.. im neutral.. but the idea seems to have some good qualities..

Then can you give me some advice on how to imprive the paragraphing and some of the problems?

I'm not quite understanding what you mean to have here. If you're trying to create a chameleon naga of sorts, then that's really moot; we have squamataurs, which can include a chameleon- taur.

Not everything has to be a naga.

There's a lot of detail on 'personality'. With all these personality and behavioral traits, it's very much like you're creating a specific character, not a species. A generalization for the kind of mindset a race has is much different than making a species that leaves no room for personal character.

Why would they make digestion pleasant for prey? And 'draining prey of energy', all that seems to be a roundabout way to not have to acknowledge that digestion is not a nice experience. It's not the pred's business to make digestion pleasant, it's the prey's business not to get caught and eaten.

The abilities seem to be all over the place, I'm having great difficulty trying to discern what this thing's niche is supposed to be.

As for paragraphing, just make a space between different parts of the idea.

k thanks fish guy (sorry dont know your user name)

[quote="/Fish/" A generalization for the kind of mindset a race has is much different than making a species that leaves no room for personal character.[/quote]
what do you mean by this

It means that it seems like you are trying to create a character rather than a race. These traits are rather un-predatorish, and would be odd to see in a whole species, but it is viable that a specific character would perhaps make these choices. It is odd for a whole race to think the same way.

It does seem odd for a Felaryan race.

so are you saying i should make this a character instead of a race

slamer330 wrote:

so are you saying i should make this a character instead of a race

Yep, it would be better.

k thanks and can you help me think of a name for her

slamer330 wrote:

k thanks and can you help me think of a name for her

see: the name thread

what should i do in the name thread