mavrick spiker

hello this is my first post here. this was some way out there idea i ahd that may not get accepted. if anyone wants to look at the new char, i have included the idea below. tell me what you think. i will do another one involving samantha the other char in this story.

age 18
male
human

mavrick spiker came to felarya on a camping trip and is the result of a curse.

--survival story--
in august last year, Mavrick went on a camping trip as part of his schooling. however the bus driver
made a wrong turn and they all got teleported into the jungle of felarya. of course, no one noticed
this and so they made camp a few miles away from Crysis. during the night, Crysis discovered their camp
and soon was eating away. Samantha, Mavrick's friend saw the naga and hid herself in a hole while watching
the naga gorge on her friends.

Mavrick, like all the other campers went down swiftly and came to Crysis' stomach. however he felt more
pain than any of the other campers because of his curse: he could not be harmed by compression or acid.

a little while later, he comes out and runs off while Crysis is still sleeping, washes and then goes off
suddenly knowing that this is not the camping ground, this is felarya. having realized that, he suddenly
remembered everything he knew about this magical place, found Samantha, tought her the secrets and they
lived underground for some time with no harm. currently, they live with Melany due to the fact that though
he is human, he gives the best belly rub she ever felt.

--friends--
he has managed to befriend most beings in felarya and therefore can get along quite well. when he can, he
also helps the beings in felarya and usually they give hime something in return. the only one he has not
befriended is Elle, who is always looking to eat him. he makes sure to stay away from her.
Melany can be considered to be a "best" friend with him, due to the belly rubs.

--ways of living--
this is tricky, but can be done. since he knows mostly about felarya, he knows where most of the carnivorus
plants are and also knows where the edible ones are. he has survived one year in felarya and plans to live his
life in it.

--other--
he is sad because sometimes he feels sorrow of not being digested with his other camping mates but usually cheers
up when he sees Samantha.

he is very wise and will help those who are close to death's door. however those who constantly tick him off
usually get sent in the direction of a predator and he will then climb a tree to watch the annoying person
get swallowed.

prefers to stay clothed though that's hard to do in felarya sometimes

~EOF (end of file)~

((Moving this to Character Discussion))

You can't even spell Crisis's name right.

Ok, how would he managed to befriend beings that want to do nothing more then have him as a snack?

Not to mention that the muscles that empty food into the stomach are designed to keep stuff like that from happoning unless it's forced to...

I -really- have to wonder how he managed to befriend multiple creatures that see him as nothing more than food. Either he A) is impossibly, stupidly likeable or B) has the amazing power to make other people's characters act waaaay OOC. And it really doesn't help that the only pred that he isn't BFFs with is Elle, which I suspect is more related to her lack of popularity than anything else.

L'Ryn wrote:

You can't even spell Crisis's name right.

L'Ryn, I appreciate your particpation to the forums, but could you use a more courteous-less agressive tone when you write, please ?
I'm afraid for a newcomer the forum looks a rather unfriendly place at the moment ^^;

Thank you

oh great

i uploaded the wrong version :X

there was still much more to do on that -_-

So wait.... he's friends with most being in Felarya.............. so he's friends with almost every single organism in a planet-sized plain, including several that flat out hate humans, or even lack the intelligence required to register the concept of "friendship"..... But the only one who doesn't like him is a moderately up-tight bitch like Elle.....

Now, I was the one who made hating Elle cool, but dude. There are a LOT more unpleasant things in Felarya than her. Are you telling me the kid actually managed to befriend Raison? Or Eshka?

Okay, let's see what you've got.

Quote :

mavrick spiker came to felarya on a camping trip and is the result of a curse

.

This needs to be explained further to me. What does it mean, he is the "result of a curse?"

The origin story is mostly solid. But I think there's still big gaps. Firstly, the curse could maybe be explained. More importantly, how does he know all this stuff about Felarya? Was he there before? I think that needs some further backstory. This is mentioned again in how he lives...

The friendship with everything has been mentioned by other people and I agree that needs a little rethinking. There are way worse things than Elle, though I agree it'd be hard to befriend her. Plus, there are just some predators who will simply refuse to befriend humans.

Okay, now, one thing missing is a physical description. That would really help in formulating the character.

His personality is also a little vague. I can piece parts of it together, but it's still very bare-bones. What are his likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, etc. etc? All that stuff needed to make a rounded character?

Looks like you at least have a general idea but more work is needed.