My Agonizing Recovery

Let me just start by thanking Cypress for the chat early Friday morning; it really lifted my spirits to have someone to talk to rather than worrying about what would happen later that day. I got booted off-line at around 2AM because the Hospital shut down its internet. =[

IE didn't die, btw... >.<

well I did it, everyone; i got the surgery done... Here's the scoop. My condition was apparently much worse than they anticipated. They had to remove my rib cage from its cavity to move my spine. The surgery gas never taken as long as mine did; where they usually say it will be no longer than 3 hours, it took ~250 minutes.In the recovery room, all I remember is screaming and writhing in pain.

I just now had my catheter removed. Not fun. =(

After entering my room after surgery, things werent too bad. I was in pain, but it was tolerable. I could even do without pressing the morphine button for extensive periods.I got a little closer and more kinly to my mother; we learned things about eavhother, shared secrets, jokes, etc. very touching and monumental for me (I even revealed my attraction to Vore; made me feel good inside). No one could stay overnight with me, so I was lonely that night.

The following morning, my surgeon removed my drainage tube from my spine (Hurt enough to make me cry a little). Also, They forced me to stand the next day, which was undoubtedly the worst pain I have ever endured in my life. I was literally crying as I stood; but not crying and whining, just tears flowing out of my eyes from the pain. I learned that there are not too many sounds out there worse than a grown man screaming in agony, even if you know it's your own. This entire day (day 1 after surgery) could easily be described as the worst day in my life. The pain I was enduring this day was catastrophic; but why didn't it feel this way on the day of the surgery? That would make sense, right? Well, turns out they heavily sedated me IN ADDITION to my Morphine doses. All day, I had quick 30-90 minute naps, and woke up with incredibly intolerable pain all over the posterior of my body; I quickly realized why that was happening (and of course, my nurses/doctors can do nothing about it). Morphine takes some time to negate pain, and one mg usuall7 isnt enough to sedate the pain fully. Sometime during the day, I fell asleep for about two hours, and woke up to ridiculous pain, again; but this time, my morphine was empty. I pressexd the button, and I got a loud, ear grinding alarm in response. My family and friends were there, too; my father and mother were/are deeply concerned. Apparently, they've never witnessed any of their children (let alone me) go through such pain. Because of the continuous pain, throughout the night, I had a fever (102 F). My eyes and body felt like they were burning.

The next day was not much different; it started with them needing to change the gown/tape on my spine. It hurt pretty bad, but it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. They forced me to stand a walk, again. The pain this day was a little less intense than the day before (this was yesterday btw). My legs and back started to itch, which is a great feeling I never realized was so wonderful until I had been through so much suffering. That evening, I tried to bring myself to get online before napping again, but the internet failed. I used the call button (this was at about 12:30 AM) to ask for a Qtip as well as an explanation for the internet loss, and to have my computer returned to its original position. This nurse really pissed me off.
#1: When I asked her for a Qtip she only thought I would blow out my ear drum. Even though I kept begging her for one in my pain, she told me she'd try to get one soon. I called her again, and this time, my computer was out and I asked about the internet, too. I had remembered that my parents brought their own Qtips, so I would have some in my closet. The nurse doesn't get my Qtip, she's oblivious as to how my computer works and so she can't help, and she has the f***ing ner5ve to say "I have patients who need my help more than you do;" If she had told me she was fucking busy at 12:30 in the morning, then maybe I could've searched for another nurse or waited; I never exactly said it was an emergency and I didn't figure that she'd be so damn busy at 12:30 AM in a recovery hall.
#2: After all that, I never got my Qtip from that nurse. This morning, I asked the first nurse I saw, they got me one in less than a minute. What the fuck.


The misery/pain I go through on a daily basis can be described in a few ways. It feels like I have a bulldozer parked on my spine. It feels lie someone is kicking my lungs each time I breathe. It feels like my body could snap in-two if I bent in one direction enough.

Yeah. Things are a lot worse than I had hoped they'd be. Of course, it was only until after the surgery that they mentioned that Spinal Fusion is probably their most agonizing surgery aside from emergencies. They're still hoping for me to go home on Wednesday.

I cannot imagine how that pain must feel-but, the way you describe it, it sounds like the worst thing anyone can go through. The procedure-especially the part of removing the rib cage-read like something out of a horror novel. I don't know what to say, except best wishes on your recovery.

On a somewhat lighter note, I'm really happy you got to connect with your mom like that-how did she handle your confession, by the way?

Wow.

Just wow.

You are surely a braver person than I ever will be. Few people could take such horrible pain for a long time. I mean, hot damn.

When I see you on the forums, you'll have nothing but my full respect from now on.

Siafu789 wrote:

I cannot imagine how that pain must feel-but, the way you describe it, it sounds like the worst thing anyone can go through. The procedure-especially the part of removing the rib cage-read like something out of a horror novel. I don't know what to say, except best wishes on your recovery.

On a somewhat lighter note, I'm really happy you got to connect with your mom like that-how did she handle your confession, by the way?

The confession went somewhat like this:
Me: Can I tell you something if you promise not to share with anybody; not even Kevin (father)?
Mother: Sure; what is it?
Me: Well you know how I said that one novel I'm reading [Crisis & Scarecrow] involved monster-like things eating other people?
Mother: Uh huh?
Me: Well I kinda have a philia for it
Mother: ...A wha? *confused*
Me: A strong attraction; like I said - it's a vore novel - well I'm a vorarephiliac, basically
Mother: What's vore mean again?
Me: Like, swallowing or devouring
Mother: Eeeeew *hahaha/laughing*
Me: Don't tell Dad; he'll never let me hear the end of it!



@Pen: I'm sure if you were in my shoes, you'd be just as "brave" as I. I mean, it's not like I have much of a choice but to endure the pain.

^____^ I am really relieved to hear to surgery went well, and that your starting to recover. That's a lot more extreme than any surgery I had... and sounds worse than all mine and pneumonia put together >_< Well as you know whats important is that your gonna feel a lot better soon, and be taller to boot XD the opening up with your mom sounds like no matter what the surgery was worth it for that; and that is something to be really happy about.


^^ glad I could help you that night. I know nothings worse than letting your mind work itself up, happy I could distract you for a bit^____^

Hospitals have weird rules.... internets should never be off XD As for the nurse... yeah there are rare few hospitals that are still fully staffed these days. while her altitude was uncalled for... she was probably attending more than one floor.... but still.... a Qtp is a Qtip... grrr (has an obsession with clean ears fro reason mentioned in chat >_^)

Cypress wrote:

^____^ I am really relieved to hear to surgery went well, and that your starting to recover. That's a lot more extreme than any surgery I had... and sounds worse than all mine and pneumonia put together >_< Well as you know whats important is that your gonna feel a lot better soon, and be taller to boot XD the opening up with your mom sounds like no matter what the surgery was worth it for that; and that is something to be really happy about.


^^ glad I could help you that night. I know nothings worse than letting your mind work itself up, happy I could distract you for a bit^____^

Hospitals have weird rules.... internets should never be off XD As for the nurse... yeah there are rare few hospitals that are still fully staffed these days. while her altitude was uncalled for... she was probably attending more than one floor.... but still.... a Qtp is a Qtip... grrr (has an obsession with clean ears fro reason mentioned in chat >_^)

I really needed a Qtip, too. All I can really do is sleep and listen to my iPod. =x
I hated it when I got booted; didn't get to say "bye" or anything =[.

Lol, I think it was a bad idea to copy my post from this forum. I'm still a bit drugged out, so when I posted it on a different forum, I forgot to edit out everything (the part about Vore XD ). I caught it rather quickly, though

Yeah I figured that that happened or you had fallen asleep. either way I wasn't upset or anything, I know stuff 'happens' in a hospital. I thought maybe a nurse might have told you to turn it off too XD

Well, I'm officially afraid of surgery.

That sounds like a smashing good time. >>
I'm a wimp who can't even stand to be conscious during a migrane. You have a great deal of respect from me for having gone through that and not popped an artery. I'm VERY sorry you had to endure that.

On the plus side, bonding with parental figures is NEVER a bad thing. It's nice to know you two got to know one another more.

But like I said, you may get to go home Wednesday. Better having gotten most of it over with now, than having to deal with it for the rest of your life.

Ne'er had surgery, though from this and my sisters Wisdom Teeth removal, glad I haven't.

Glad to see you're fine, even with the complications. Just don't go ruining your back too quickly, it's not like they hand out warrenties.

EDIT: By fine, I mean alive, breathing, and on the road to recovery.

I must admit the surgeon are veru strong, I mean this kind of Operation need a great concentration and calm. Because the work they did is very impressive.
I see you suffer a lot, but I still hope everything will be ok
Don't give up

You'd think they'd have methods of doing things that didn't involve agonizing pain.. this isn't the middle ages, after all.

The Rev wrote:

You'd think they'd have methods of doing things that didn't involve agonizing pain.. this isn't the middle ages, after all.

Nonsense. That money was needed grabbing people of Ohio streets that pick wallets off the ground. How could you even THINK something like Spinal Surgery is more important?[/sarcasm]

I wish you a good recovery and that the worse is behind you ^_^

If these are the largest extent of the painmeds I can safely take; I can't imagine how horrible it'd be without them

Malahite wrote:

The Rev wrote:

You'd think they'd have methods of doing things that didn't involve agonizing pain.. this isn't the middle ages, after all.

Nonsense. That money was needed grabbing people of Ohio streets that pick wallets off the ground. How could you even THINK something like Spinal Surgery is more important?[/sarcasm]

I didn't understand you, could you rephrase that?

I think he's commenting on how their money wasn't going to the appropriate facilities. They spent more on grabbing random criminals instead of increasing the health of the hospital patients.

Chin up, at least you're not being fed to Menyssan.

I really wish you a good recovery!

Rythmear wrote:

Chin up, at least you're not being fed to Menyssan.

Alas, this is true.

Too right it is