Soul of the Abomination: Frozen, but warm to the touch?

Prologue: Diplomacy is futile


Shafts of golden sunlight shone brightly through the lush green trees of the forest. Shadows and light created a masterpiece of art along the forest floor. Mild gusts of wind made the trees sway gently from side to side. It was a warm summer day and the forest was alive with sound. Calls of various different animals harmoniously rang out from unseen places. Songs of tweets, croaks and howls blending together into a natural melody. Oh! It was a sight to see indeed! The beautiful world of Felarya.

A slightly overgrown dirt road winded its way through the forest towards the far off city of Negav. Along this road a large wooden carriage, crudely reinforced with armor plating, noisily drove down it. On the roof was a poorly built mounted gun, designed to fire serrated and sharpened pieces of scrap metal at a target. Both in front and behind were similar vehicles, but smaller. On the roof of these, a lone gunman stood, armed with nothing more than an automatic rifle to defend the vehicle. It was a small herbalist business, returning back to Negav with a shipment of freshly picked herbs to be used in alchemy experiments. The business did not have the funds necessary for proper protection and was forced to risk their lives every time they went out to gather. For 7 months, they had been lucky and had successfully returned each time. Today, their luck ran out.

Quiet chatter went on between the passengers. There was 43 passengers in total. 3 drivers, 10 passengers in each small carriage and 20 in the large one. The majority of the passengers were hired labour to pick the herbs. A few were payed guards to protect the convoy from small creatures and a few were experts that knew their way around plants and instructed the labourers in their work. The business made a small income on the side, allowing adventurers to hitch a ride for a fee. 3 non-business members were on board that day. A man, a woman and a little girl.

The man was wearing what appeared to be very worn and used blackened leather armor, and also carried a sword and a satchel. His hair was strangely long, down to his shoulders and was colored grey. But he looked very young? Maybe he had a hair pigment disorder? But what was extremely peculiar about the man was that his right eye was a pale shade of grey, whilst his left was a bright crimson red. He never said a word and just stared at the ground. The little girl was pretty plain, in a dark green dress. Her eyes too were a bright green. Her hair was brown, and unlike the man she was sitting next to, she kept looking around, smiling at everything. The woman was dressed like a typical adventurer. Chainmail armor, a sword and a shield. She looked like a novice. It was easy to tell. Her brown eyes had not seen death before.

Suddenly and without warning, the peace of the ride was interrupted by a horrified yell!

"NAGAS! Pick up the pace!"

The drivers all responded by furiously whipping the many horses that pulled the carriages and increasing speed dramatically. Frightened passengers peered out of the windows, and many screamed in shock as they saw that not one, no two, but THREE nagas were in hot pursuit and catching up fast! At this distance, the only noticable difference was that one had purple hair, one had white and one had black. Panic spread throughout the vehicles as the hired guards started firing desperately at the closing nagas. Even the shrapnel cannon had no effect as the nagas simply waded through the hail of ballistics and got closer and closer. The drivers whipped the horses harder in a desperate attempt to go faster, but the horses were already at top speed. With Negav still a long way off, there was no chance of escape. When they realised this, each of the drivers brought their vehicles to a stop. Every passenger evacuated and tried to dash into the woods and lose the gigantic predators. But the hope was quickly stamped out as the Nagas encircled the terrified horde of humans and nekos. There was no escape. The 3 of them set about dividing the group up into 3 groups. One for each naga. Then, it began.

A young man was picked up and was tossed into the mouth of the smallest naga before he could even yelp in horror. A loud *Gulp* was heard as he travelled down her throat. The other two nagas joined in, creating a noisy feeding frenzy. A sickening tune of gulps and moans shattered the peaceful atmosphere, turning a dream world into a nightmare. The woman adventurer in the chainmail was saved until last. She stood alone, with three nagas eyeing her up. She drew her sword and charged the purple haired naga. Her heroic charge was cut short as she was effortlessly lifted into the air.

"What a shame." Sighed the purpled haired naga. "I was hoping for more of a show from this one. Why are all adventurers just brutish fighters?"

The sisters giggled as the woman struggled in vain. She had been caught by the Garla sisters. They were an infamous trio of naga predators. The purple haired one was Taya. The white haired one was Rhea. And the smallest of them with flowing black hair was named Meeya. All three were average pred size, execpt Meeya who was slightly smaller. They enjoyed leaving the strongest, and tastiest morsel until last, where they would decide who gets to eat the last one. It was decided that Taya would consume her.

"Noooo~!" Squealed the woman as she was dropped into Taya's open maw. She enjoyed the taste for a few seconds, and then swallowed noisily and sighed happily. The three sisters turned to leave when they noticed the sound of someone crying. They turned around again. And saw a little girl emerge from the "empty" carriage. She wore a green dress and was sobbing loudly. She kept muttering. "Why?" to herself inbetween sobs. The sisters moved to encircle her when they saw another figure emerge from the carriage. His long grey hair shone in the sunlight as he followed the little girl. Instead of crying, he had a defeated look on his face. Their plan to hide in the carriage had nearly worked, but the little girl couldn't take the horror and left to confront the nagas. The man followed. The girl opened her mouth to speak, but when she saw the enormity of the nagas, she fainted and fell to the floor. The man knelt next to her, concerned.

"Well what have we here?" Said Taya. "Little morsels that nearly got away? Hah! You can't escape from us! Well girls seeing as I got the last one you two can decide who gets which of these two."

"Please! As if I have to debate this with Meeya!" Said Rhea. "I want to try the girl. I heard that its a totally different exprience, like how eating veal instead of beef is for humans."

"You're so mean Rhea!" Replied Meeya. "But fine. I guess I'll just have the guy."

Rhea eagerly reached for the little girl. As her massive fingers neared the girl's body, the man suddenly aimed his hand at her and with a roar of rage, fired a jet black lightning bolt at Rhea's hand.

"OOOWW!" Rhea instantly drew back her hand and nursed it. "What the hell was that Taya? It really hurts."

Taya narrowed her eyes at the man who stood in front of the limp body of the unconcious girl. After seeing him viciously attack them like that, neither sister made an advance.

"It seems there is more to you than meets the eye human." Said Taya. "It is interesting to see that you could harm my sister. But no one harms my sister and gets away with it! You really think you can defeat us?"

The man continued to stare at them for a while. And then, with a grim expression, simply answered: "No. I cannot."

"Then why don't you just let us eat you both? Give up and we'll eat you quickly ok?"

He stared at them some more and then turned his head away. He was outclassed. Outgunned. Outmanned. And he knew it. As powerful as he was, he could not stand up to 3 massive preds at once. So, in a calm and friendly voice, he spoke again.

"Ladies. Forgive me for swatting away the hand of your sister, but I couldn't just let you take Faran. Oh yes where are my manners. I am known as Mortis. But you may call me Mort. You three are a considerable force to be reckoned with and I cannot defeat you. So perhaps we may negotiate? I am sure there is something I can interest you in."

"Actually yes there is. We want to eat you. Can you make that happen? Hahaha! Our minds are made up. You and the girl will join the others in our bellies."

Mort sighed heavily. And then began to chuckle darkly. He lifted his arm into the air, palm facing upwards. Dark energy crackled in the center of his palm. His red eye glowed brightly as he spoke again. This time, his tone lost all friendliness and was replaced with a dark and sinister voice that sent chills up the spines of the nagas.

"Enough is enough Serpents! I can't defeat you. I have said that already. But somehow, I don't think you will able to move again after THIS!"

Within seconds, a massive ball of black fire grew above his extended palm. Within a second it was half the size of the nagas. The three sisters gasped in shock. What incredible power! Rhea snarled and rushed forward in an attempt to stop the attack.

"TAKE THIS!"

He hurled the spherical dark inferno towards Rhea, who had gained too much momentum by this point to dodge.

"RHEA!" Yelled her sisters.

The ball collided and in a massive explosion, the entire area was filled with a thick black fog. The sisters coughed and struggled to find each other on the shadow mist. Taya and Meeya found each other, and then they found Rhea lying on the ground.

"Rhea are you okay?" They asked franticaly.

Rhea sat up and coughed several times. Upon closer inspection of her body, she was unharmed.

"Its alright." Said Rhea "I'm okay."

After another minute of coughing and spluttering, the fog cleared. Mortis and the girl, Faran, were nowhere to be found.

"What was that ball thing?" Asked Meeya.

"I... I think it was some kind of oversized smoke bomb disguised as a fire ball." Suggested Taya.

Rhea was furious.

"I can't believe that human tricked us! I knew there was no way a human could have power like that! I should have known it was a trick! Grrrr!"

"Calm down Rhea." Said Meeya "It was a dirty trick, but we'll make him pay next time."

"Yeah. Come on. Lets head back for now. I need a nap after all that." Said Taya, tired.

The three sisters wandered off into the distance. Meanwhile Mort, with the unconcious Faran in his arms, ran at incredible speed through the forest. He was headed towards Negav. If he could get there, they would be safe. If they could get there...


(Woot. Here we go guys. I'm serious now. Let me know what you thought about this. If people like it I'll write more. ^_^)

Good writing, good punctuation. If it weren't for that one character, it would be fine, if normal for "predator's catch" stories. The descriptions were fairly good. However, let me explain about Mortis:

1: Characters named after your online persona are a horrible idea in general.

2: Characters that make other characters awed by their power are questionable.

3: Characters with different-colored eyes are a hideously, horribly, ridiculously bad idea.

It was nice that he won with a dirty trick, and not actual power, but the way he was written oozes of sue-ism. As of now, there are only hints of it, so we'll need to read further to make a sound diagnosis. But write carefully, friend. Seems like a fine story otherwise. Just remember that a Sue will ruin any story.

Criticism understood and duly noted. I hate to spoil things but I need to clear the air here.

1: Yeah I suppose your right about that one. But too late now eh?

2: The size of the ball was what awed them. Who wouldn't be awed by a 50ft tall and wide ball of black flame? But of course, it was just a trick. Creating a ball of true energy that size would be nigh impossible. Even for an archmage.

3: Theres a reason for that. His eyes aren't different just for the sake of being different. XD Its an indicator that two souls share the same body. One demonic and one human. So one normal eye and the other extremely odd.

And lastly... *sigh* I hate to spoil it but it can't be helped. Mortis is not the protagonist of this story. Remember this is just a prologue. He is involved in it yes, but he is not the main character. Who is the main character? Well its not the nagas and it isn't the little girl, Faran. SHE is also someone who has been mentioned already in the story.

And lastly, Mortis may seem calm, arrogant and capable of super mega death beams and other sue-like qualites, but he isn't. The attitude is just a facade and his power? It is fairly considerable but not enough to take down a trained predator, let alone 3, hence the illusionary smoke bomb. XD But that doesn't matter anyway. He isn't the protagonist this time. I'm introducing someone new to take the lead.