My Characters

Dusk
Age:175
Hight:115'6 / 6'7
Sex:Male
Spieces:Naga
Scale color:Royal Purple
Underbelly:Black
Hair:Jet Black
Skin:Fair
Personality:Shy,Loner,Calm & Peaceful
Predator
Home:Evernight Forest(?)

(P.S people were asking about the Revolver look at a Smith & Wesson model 15-4 Revolver)

Has an Eyepatch over his right eye to hide a cursed eye.

He excels in magic but isnt very powerful phyically
A pacifist in some ways but is still a dangerous predator
Apperence:
Dusk has long black hair usally rugged looking
His body has many scars on it
His long tail is purple with a jet black underbelly
Dusk keeps armor around his waist

Extended Personality
Dusk is a semi-pacifist meaning he doesnt like to fight but will if it comes to that.
He is calm most of the time but can turn from a nice peaceful naga to your worst nighmare in a split second
Dusk is hard to anger but when he does its smart to avoid him

Backstory ( Under Cunstruction)
Dusk isn't from Felarya. He's from a realm unknown. He was sent here against his will when he tried to confront the Dark Lung Dragon named Smoke who was terrorizing the realm.
Now he looks a ancient key that resembles Smoke as that is his key back home.

He practices many elements of magic but his strongest and most likely to work is Dark

As for Twilight a dark spirit essence sharing a body with him,
During a series of events known in his homeland as The Curse of the Blood Moon. Smoke had released a demon from the deepest lair of the Underworld to cause havoc among the realm.
When Dusk and his allies came to confront the demon. It used a weird magic and laid a curse upon Dusk. The curse hasn't been figured out but they jokingly say its Twilight who has tried to possess him on several ocasions.

Due to recent events Dusk and Twilight have made amens and are more or less working together.

Alright, time to dust of the ol' review EG and get cracking. First off, the majority of the things you put into parentheses either need to be edited, or we just don't need to know. The fact that he's your main RP character is irrelevant, so just cut it out so it stops cluttering your bio. His colors are really weird, and while it's a good thing to be unique, try to do so in a more sensible manner than just spreading sparkles on him. His personality needs a lot of work, start by removing both loner and mysterious. If he's reclusive he's bound to be a loner, and we get to decide by his backstory whether or not he's mysterious. His home, You might want to talk to karbo if you want to try and pull that off. Vivian lives in the chordori waterfalls, and another giant predator won't go unnoticed, especially by her. Noticeable traits, "Understands that hes not some god or something", if you need to tell us that, he's probably too powerful. On to his powers, try to pick one element to specialize in, it's real difficult to pull off more than one, and more than two and i'm getting a definite mary sue vibe. Formatting, it's eaten down to the bones by spelling errors, grammar errors, formatting problems, and other visual sores. You should iron those out before presenting it to us. Try showing someone else, or just running it through a spell checker at least. I'm sure there are a bunch of us on the forums, willing to help you edit when we get the time, if you only ask. I am one of these people. Last but not least, the backstory is one of the most important parts, it can clear the fog, and justify the insane, and on top of that, it's what we came for, give us dogs some meat with our bones.
All in all, you've got a lot of work to do before he's ready for action, but it's a start, keep working at it, and please don't be afraid to ask for help.

I forgot about Vivian XD

Name:Roy
Age:27
Sex:Male
Race:Human

Apperence
Roy has red spiked hair,Tan Skin and is about 6 feet tall.
Wearing a pleathera of clothes depending on what he puts on.

Personality
Roy is a very social person but knows who he needs to stay away from.

Backstory
Roy was a Delurian scout and was on a mission:Rumor spread that Negav Mercenaries where going to luanch an attack on the Delurian base so Roy was sent to go undercover as a Negav Mercenary and learned that the rumor was true. Then at the dawn of day 10 the attack on the Delurians began. When Roy reviled himself as a spy two-thirds of the way to that base he ran to the base Nine-Tenths to the base a Negav sniper shot him in the knee the bullet lodged in his knee making it unmovable. The medic told him he had to be suspended from the Delurian military intil his knee got better and he could move it again.
Now Roy sitting at home nothing to do but recently he started to explore Deeper Felarya avoiding as many predators as possible and is so far having luck.

HELLO

Earnestly?

Jhinx wrote:

Earnestly?

Earnestly I dont understand