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BlazingBarrager
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BlazingBarrager


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Join date : 2013-08-03
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PostSubject: Blazing's OCs   Blazing's OCs Icon_minitimeSun Aug 04, 2013 12:48 am

Hello. First off I'd like to introduce myself. I'm BlazingBarrager, and I've just joined this forum. Been interested in Felarya for a while now and decided I wanted to join the community, but enough introductions. Here are my OCs.

Oh, and please by all means critique my work. I don't mind if you even get blunt. The blunter the better if it helps with developing my Felarya story project.

Character #1:

Name: Amber Arcane
Race: Gener
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Height: 5”10”
Skin Tone: Fair
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Red

Appearance

Amber’s noticeable features are her bright, red, long hair and eyes. She also has a flame-like birth mark on her back, but keeps it hidden underneath her clothes. She wears adventurer’s kind of outfit, which consists of a green tank top, brown, baggy shorts, and brown boots. She carries around a small backpack full of supplies to help her survive Felarya’s jungles. Finally, she wears a magical necklace, which has a blue jewel surrounded by a gold outer shell.

Bio

Amber is a Gener, a human with energy-based powers, who comes from a currently unknown world. She ends up in Felarya’s Tolmeshal Forest after a portal she uses to escape her home malfunctions and resets its coordinates. Upon arrival she met an old and powerful wizard named Orcal and his clumsy assistant Jacob. She is then taken to Safe Harbor, where the wizard was currently staying. While there, she’s given a necklace that is said to “help her survive Felarya.” Confused at first, she asks about the necklace, but wasn’t given any answers. Instead, she’s tasked with taking him to Negav. On the way, she learns more about Felarya as well as the necklace she was given, which turned out to actually be a magical artifact housing the spirit of a fairy named Melisa. Before the group could reach Negav though, the group is attacked by mercenaries who were apparently hired by Lady Lesona of the Ps'isol Magiocrats to retrieve the necklace. Amber was able to fight them off though. However, Lade Lesona herself later gets involved and, despite failing to retrieve the artifact herself, manages to curse Amber. She immediately feels its effects, which turns out to be magic poisoning from the magic that circulates throughout Felarya. The curse was going to take its toll on her life, but before it could Orcal performs a spell on the magical artifact to counteract the curse. Though he manages to save Amber’s life, she is now bound to wear the necklace on her at all times as that is the only thing keeping the curse at bay. Amber then makes it her goal to remove the curse inflicted on her and get back at Lady Lesona for it, but before she could she was requested by Orcal to accompany him and his assistant to a dungeon far off north. Owing them her life, she agrees and accompanies the two to their destination.

Personality

Amber can be described as an energetic, stubborn, and competitive kind of person. She is always eager to get started on activities and adventures and won’t tolerate laziness. She’s also quite stubborn and will stick to a decision no matter what. This especially shows with her competitive nature as she’ll never back down from a fight even when the odds are against her. She’s initially withdrawn from people because she hardly had any form of contact with people outside her grandfather and sister, but she’ll easily open up to people once she gets to know them. Deep down, however, she truly cares for those close to her and will do everything within her power to protect them. She doesn’t like showing this side of her, though, and does her best to hide it, though she’s not always successful at doing so. She’s also a bit rash to people who discriminate her for her unusual hair and eye color, powers, or both and will usually beat up anyone who teases her, her friends, or her family.
Amber has a split way of looking at Felarya. While she isn’t fond of the predators inhabiting the world (especially those that don’t wear any form of clothing) she isn’t against the fact that they eat intelligent life forms. She merely finds this as a part of life and compares it to how she’s killed others in the past. As she puts it “you can’t survive without taking the life of something else.” This doesn’t stop her from rescuing those who she believes don’t deserve such a death though. As for Felarya itself, she loves it for its beauty and nature calling it “a wondrous existence.”
Amber’s relationship with Melisa, the fairy sealed within the magical artifact she wears around her neck, is a bit of a rocky one. While Melisa wants nothing more than to eat Amber she knows that doing so will put her back at square one due to how her actions would kill her host and thus grudgingly supports her. Likewise, Amber finds Melisa to be “an unwanted guest” that she wants out of her subconscious as soon as possible, but knows that because of the curse she has no choice but to accept Melisa’s company and puts up with her. The two do share some respect for each other though, and their relationship has been turning for the better as the two spend more time with each other.
Amber also has a second persona who she dubs as “Ruby.” This persona was born because of an event she participated in at an earlier age that corrupted her somewhat. This persona is very childish, sadistic, slightly insane, and cunning. She is prone to outbursts and loves nothing more than to kill whatever or whoever she can get her hands on. She tries to take over whenever she can, but she’ll usually be forced down by Amber. She doesn’t care for anyone other than herself, though she does respect her other half since the latter defeated her in battle for control a few years back.
Ruby, unlike Amber, loves having Melisa around, as it gives her company and someone else to annoy their host. However, she isn’t afraid to threaten the fairy should she “step out of bounds” and try to harm Amber, which Melisa had to learn the hard way a couple of times. Aside from that, she pretty much treats Melisa like she does Amber.

Powers and Abilities

While in Felarya, Amber doesn’t have access to her Essence of Energy (her ability to manipulate and control the energies within herself as well as her surroundings) powers, though she can still perform electrokinesis skills. It is unknown why she can’t use her powers properly, though Jacob thinks it has something to do with the necklace. However, she still possesses her superhuman speed and agility from her childhood training. This allows her to run and jump at speeds no human could. This helps her evade large predators to some degree.
The magical necklace that Amber wears grants her a special ability: size-shifting. With it, Amber is able to grow to a height of 110 feet. It is unknown if she can shrink as well as she never bothered doing so. The necklace also grants Amber resistance to fairies’ size changing magic, though powerful fairies are able to bypass this.
This ability isn’t perfect however. The power is tied to Melisa and as such she controls when Amber can change size. Sometimes she makes Amber larger or smaller by request, while other times she does it by herself for humor. She also makes sure not to change the size of Amber’s clothes as part of her humor as she knows Amber doesn’t like being seen naked, though she tends to do this less and less later on as she starts to get along with her host.


Character #2: Coming soon...


Last edited by BlazingBarrager on Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:52 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Blazing's OCs   Blazing's OCs Icon_minitimeSun Aug 04, 2013 10:01 am

Blazing! Been ages, man!

Sure it's enough introductions. Besides we've got a thread for that, in general discussion. Stickied, even. So let's a-see what'cha got here, see if we can help ya figure 'nything out ya might like better.

Checked out your Geners on dA afterwards. Ya didn't say a word on how do they adapt to societies around them, other than they usually think themselves high and mighty 'cause humans can't laser. Well, I figure it really won't matter ATM, but if you want to make a Felarya-exclusive version of Amber, leaving her as a simply a criminal that's allergic to magic and comes from offworld might help you keep track of what's really important. I'd go with "cursed by mage she may or may not have stole stuff from" for the reason why magic doesn't agree with her.

I mean, source of her powers used to have a virus she caught from the insanitary conditions in which her uncle experimented on her, last we met back at Process when she read porn with Brenda. Making another version can't hurt you.

======

Much as I'd like to know what sense does it make to give her a necklace that kills the user in order to cure (curb?) her allergy, I'll settle for "it's magic" for once and try, instead, to maximize the opportunities that this condition creates. Lessee, removing the necklace would be like injecting herself with peanuts and shrimp, so she can't, but it contains an annoying fairy (Hey! Listen!) and there's already an extra bat in her belfry.

I'd like to know what you make of the triangle Amber-Melisa-Ruby. How does Melisa feel about Ruby? Does Ruby listen to her any more than Amber does? How does Amber feel about Melisa liking Ruby more -or less- than her? Are they even aware of each other, or are both of them exclusive with Amber?

======

Also, her personality includes "beats people up if they rag on friends", despite afterwards it says she don't like showing no nicer side of herself. Maybe you could invert the order of the sentences, and so, she wouldn't like showing that she cares, but would end beating up people who rag on her folks. Also, could you explain a bit more how can she be energetic, stubborn, and withdrawn?

Also, how exactly is Ruby insane? Is she... catatonic? Suffering from hallucinations or delusions? Dissociated? A querulant paranoid, a self-referential one? Does she have thought disorder? An obsessive-compulsive disorder leading her to collect cats by the truckload? Tourette's? Conversion disorder? Hypochondria? Munchhausen syndrome (by proxy)? Codependency or malignant narcissism? Erotomanic fixation regarding Ex-president Sarkozy? Antisocial tendencies coupled with a shallow emotional spectrum and a lack of empathy/self-control? Strictly speaking, she already has MPD, you know...

======

And I don't get the power thing. How come she's got the powah to keep down the fairy? What kind of power would you be referring to? Last I checked she had fire powers, but I don't think those are the ones you wanted to refer to. If it's willpower, that'd be okay too; just point it out so that there's no confusion. Though in your place, I'd capitalize on the "eventually kills" thing, and make it so that rather than her being safe from having hugepower like a wild Azumarill, she's got enough power to hang on for an indeterminate amount of time, and though out of immediate danger, she shouldn't invest in real estate in Felarya either, if you catch my drift.

Other than that, she's just ninja. There's nothing wrong with being ninja; the world would be a better place with more ninja.

======

Speaking of fairy growth, that takes me back to how disappointed we were every time a movie clip put the clothes growing too. And that reminds me, you didn't point out how she's dressed.

And that, of course, begs the following question: have you thought of what kind of plot devices you mean to use, and how will they interact with the character's qualities? So far, it seems you have the fairy's vorish influence, her tendency to protect friends, the semi-voluntary size-change, her life debt with the wizard and leaving Felarya as her motivations for whatever she may do in the plot. Be sure to think how everything in the plot will interact with those characteristics.

You could as well think about what themes in Felarya she's likely to notice the most. The inter-sentient vore, the immortality and health, the unnecessary barrage of treasure hunters (I think that's the one she should give the most thought: she's basically drafted herself into it), the witless folk that get drafted into the size war by dimensional disturbances, and so on.

Thanks for your time, BB. I'll stick around.
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BlazingBarrager
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BlazingBarrager


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PostSubject: Re: Blazing's OCs   Blazing's OCs Icon_minitimeSun Aug 04, 2013 5:33 pm

It has been ages.  Good to see you man. Anyway, let's go over the feedback.

Hmm...you definitely have a point. I didn't really put enough information to make it worth wild. I'll need to change that. Thanks for pointing it out. As for an exclusive version of Amber for Felarya, I think you're right on that. Perhaps it could be more of a side-story version that separates her from the main story. I can also go with the "cursed" deal. Hell it would fit in with the story: have Lady Lesona curse Amber for something she did (or for having the artifact which could help further Lady Lesona's goals and refuse to give it away).

And yeah that was an old concept that I have dumped long ago. Didn't make a shred of sense really.

===

Yeah that does raise up a question. Perhaps with the curse thing we don't have to worry about that, but yeah having the necklace and not being able to remove it without dying is certainly something I had in mind with the annoying fairy (damn you LoZ) being an extra thrown in as a sick joke from the Guardians (not really, but it would be funny).

Hmm...good question. This is what I'm thinking.

Amber to Melisa: the two share a rocky relationship. Melisa wants to eat Amber, but can't because if Amber dies she'll die. Likewise, Amber wants Melisa gone, but because of the curse she is stuck with the fairy. However, Amber isn't keen on keeping Melisa locked up in a cage despite the latter's voracious nature, and Melisa has some respect for Amber because of her power as a Gener (Gener's aren't well known in Felarya).

Ruby to Melisa: Melisa would be...curious about Ruby. She would find it intriguing that a being with such a chaotic nature would be inside Amber's consciousness without the latter feeling any side-effects. Likewise, Ruby would find Melisa's presence an interesting experience. I guess she would get along better with Melisa than Amber, but not share a friendship since the two would get on each others nerves.

===

Yeah I guess I need to point this out more. Thanks for pointing that out. As for Ruby's insanity, I think the last option describes it best. It would also fit how she represents Amber's "chaotic nature."

===

What I was referring to is Amber's energy as a Gener, but yeah I get your point. Amber would only have enough power to restrain Melisa for a while, but with the curse that changes. Perhaps Amber only has to restrain Melisa with her power until she gets cursed?

Yeah I was thinking that too. lol

===

Haha, yeah well...you know me. Prefer clothed giant girls over naked (though that doesn't mean I'll enjoy it). Guess I should explain what she wears though. :b

I will. Thanks for pointing all this out. It's really helpful. Thanks for also spending time giving feedback.
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BlazingBarrager
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BlazingBarrager


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Age : 33
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PostSubject: Re: Blazing's OCs   Blazing's OCs Icon_minitimeWed Aug 07, 2013 1:53 pm

Character #2: Melisa the Fairy

Name: Melisa
Race: Fairy (species currently unknown)
Gender: Female
Age: Unknown
Maximum Height: 110 feet
Common Height: Unknown
Minimum Height: Unknown
Skin Color: Fair
Hair Color: White
Eye Color: Grey
Wing Color: Transcendent Black
Predation: Unknown
Food Category: Unknown; possibly humans

Appearance

Based on Amber’s description, Melisa is a fair-skinned fairy with white hair and grey eyes who has transcendent black wings. She is quite skinny for a fairy, possibly because she hasn’t eaten in a long time. She tends to keep herself at her maximum height whenever Amber comes to see her, though whether if this by choice or if she can’t shrink down is unknown. Because of her long captivity at the hands of humans, nekos, and elves she has adopted to wearing a black bra and skirt out of habit.

Bio

Melisa was sealed within a jewel crafted into an artifact by humans in an attempt to give them the ability to utilize her size-shifting magic. This failed however and the jewel has been passed on upon humans and nekos for centuries before ending up in the hands of Orccal the wizard. During the jumps between owners many attempts have been made to use her for their needs of understanding a fairy’s size-shifting abilities via experimentation. However, these all ended in the deaths of the test subject as Melisa would attempt to overtake and change their body to that of her own.
As stated earlier, Orcal ended up with Melisa, but later gave her to Amber. Upon their first meeting within Amber’s subconscious Melisa attempts to eat her host, but was immediately stopped by Ruby, Amber’s dark half. After being told what would happen if Amber were to die as well as having her life threatened Melisa grudgingly accepted her situation and agreed to help Amber “when she feels like it.” Since then, she makes Amber’s life difficult in Felarya by purposely changing her size and leaving her naked at unfortunate times.

Personality

Melisa is known by Amber and Ruby for her calm and hateful personality as she rarely shows any emotion and the times she does tend to be anger. She shows a lot of distrust towards the two and even more distrust towards intelligent life in general due to her long years of captivity and experimentation. She does as a mischievous side however, as she tends to make Amber’s life difficult by constantly size-shifting her at the most unlikeliest of times, which destroys her clothes in the process. However, she does show some respect for her host due to the lack of fear Amber shows around her and sometimes allows her to shift size by request, though she states that she does this because she “felt like it.” Melisa also seems to have a sense of pride as she constantly refers herself to be one of the “strongest” fairies that existed, though whether this is true or not is up for debate.
Melisa’s relationship with her host Amber is very rocky at best. The two don’t get along very well and get into fights often, but they do understand each other when it comes to the discrimination they faced from humans. In Amber’s case, it was for being a Gener for, as she explains to Melisa, being so prideful and arrogant about their power. This gives the fairy an idea at what Amber had to go through, though she claims it pales in comparison to the harassment she had to face. Nonetheless, the two begin to bond as they spend time together and come to know that they’re both not as different as they had thought.
Melisa’s relationship with Ruby is a bit…different. While the two aren’t exactly friends, they do enjoy each other’s company. This doesn’t stop Ruby from making threats to the fairy though. Likewise, Melisa has a habit of reminding Ruby that she can eat her and not endanger her life, but chooses not because she’d hate to be alone.

Powers and Abilities

Not much is known about Melisa’s abilities as she never displays anything outside of size-shifting to anyone. She is quite skilled with her ability to size shift though, a thing she constantly brags about. As the necklace was designed to give the user a fairy’s size-shifting ability, Melisa is also able to let use her power by “request.” All Melisa has to do is touch Amber from within her subconscious to grant her the power. Of course, this is whether she “wants” to or not as the necklace doesn’t force her to.
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