Hitchhiker's Guide to Felarya

Pretty self explanatory I'd say. If there was a guide to Felarya, what kinda stuff would be in it? I don't mean rules like here, I mean a practical guide for visiters and sightseers in Felarya. Campiness is encouraged. ^^

Silent_eric wrote:

Campiness is encouraged. ^^

Let's start with hitchhiker rule 1;

Campiness is encouraged, but camping is not.

Ooh, let me try converting that to campy guide book speech.

While enjoying the wilderness of Felarya, be sure not to start a fire, or build a noticable tent, or in any way bring attention to yourself. Many of the inhabitants will be only too pleased to see you.

that's a great idea ! And this book is just awesome

Well thank you Karbo. By this book, do you mean the Hitchhiker's Guide to Felarya, or the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy I based it off of?

And really, I'm sure Felarya has a lot of original literature available. From the highly reviewed; Bravery of the Doomed, a book detailing the last exploits of men and women who were eaten whilst doing something heroic, to the shameful Hybrid Girls Gone Wild, a collection of topless nagas, centaurs, harpies, and more.

hahahaha XD

And for the book, I meant the one written by douglas adams. A true masterpiece of imagination

Remember, before coming to Felarya it is important to be as physically fit as possible. You might find it beneficial, when running for your lives, to be faster than at least one other person that is in your group.

Quote :

Hybrid Girls Gone Wild, a collection of topless nagas, centaurs, harpies, and more.

It would be awesome to be a camera man for that book, if it wasn't borderline suicidal. I wonder if it pays good.

Unless you posses a superficial trait that most people will find interesting, trying moral suasion on a Predator will not work! This mostly goes to you Humans from Earth. Do not expect Moral Sympathy from a being who is at least 10 feet taller than you in Felarya.

That's all very true. But remember, a hitchhiker's guide is first and foremost an advertisement. The main point of which is to draw tourism. Accentuating the fact that there are predators there will help people stay away. So a good Guide would gloss over things like giant ravening beasts and impending death, and focus on the good points, like the exotic locations to see, and the beautiful and uninhibited wildlife.

This isn't a survival guide, it's a hitchhiker's guide for people who would want to see the sights. Whether or not they survive isn't our problem. ^^

Mostly Harmless.

Come and Enjoy your stay in Felarya. See the sights, lush beautiful forests, crystal clear rivers, soaring mountains, the destroyed ruins of previous civilizations and much more. And don't forget about our friendy local residents that would be more than willing to get to know you on a very personal basis.

haha I remember I wrote such line in my story succubi at work XD

"What a job!" grumbled the demon to himself.
"The contract said: ‘Gratifying work in a convivial atmosphere with the motivating proximity of friendly and beautiful demonesses, etc, etc...’ They got me."

There is no better comedy than trickery. And misleading statements. And inuendo. And double entendres. And puns. ^^

And lapsuses. XP

Hiding Spots ...a map ... Hope lol

Don't Panic!

thegreatanda wrote:

Mostly Harmless.

Pff, that won't draw anyone.

"Great for the thrillseeker and blindly ambitious, more elusive than the Cafe Before Time and more risky than a pan-galactic gargleblaster. A great place to visit for the rest of your life.

Be sure to bring more than just a towel... A means of going undetected, a means of holding loads of treasure, a means of unerring escape and possibly the luck of a thousand greater gods are essential travel supplies for this beautiful and restorative realm."

Feign wrote:

thegreatanda wrote:

Mostly Harmless.

Pff, that won't draw anyone.

"Great for the thrillseeker and blindly ambitious, more elusive than the Cafe Before Time and more risky than a pan-galactic gargleblaster. A great place to visit for the rest of your life.

Be sure to bring more than just a towel... A means of going undetected, a means of holding loads of treasure, a means of unerring escape and possibly the luck of a thousand greater gods are essential travel supplies for this beautiful and restorative realm."

Great! That seems good. Throw in something about, 'Finding your youth again' and it's perfect!

Convinced me, I'd go!

dlausactor6373 wrote:

Don't Panic!

That just made me laugh so hard! Awesome, and relevent. XD

Silent_eric wrote:

Great! That seems good. Throw in something about, 'Finding your youth again' and it's perfect!

Convinced me, I'd go!

Meh, in the end it would probably get cut for space, The final entry would just be;
"A great place to visit for the rest of your life."

"Filled with beutiful women and gorgeous landscapes that will grant you eternal youth, this is a great place to spend your last five minutes your extra time."

Any idea can be sold with the proper wording and a stupid customer. For example, just the other day I read this ad in the Daily Negav Times.

Looking for an exciting locale to visit? Tired of the rat race of daily life in Negav? Eager to get away from it all? (permanently, that is.) Then we have the place for you!

South of the city of Negav lies the ancient wonders of the dridder forest. Come and see the ancient trees, towering monuments that have stood since time immemorial! Enjoy scenic routes through the forest, where every bend leads to fantastic new vistas! See the abounding and exotic natural wildlife! Rest underneath the canopy, which can make the hottest summer day seem like a pleasant evening!

But there is even more to see! Beneath the surface, miles of gorgeous caverns await, holding breathtaking vistas and natural wonders. In addition, come and visit the bustling metropolis under the earth, and experience the unique dridder way of life. Not only that, this is the home to the finest silk products you could ever see! Shopping in the open air market for silk clothing, products, and accessories is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Perhaps you wish for a more relaxing getaway. Eastern dridder forest has miles of serene waterfront property! Abounding in life, it is the perfect place for fishing, or relaxing at the waterside. Or perhaps you are into secrets and mystery. If so, come see the lone mansion hidden within the woods, a short walk from the dridder metropolis. Marvel at it’s enigmatic and serene nature. Who knows, perhaps you’ll be the first to discover the truth hidden within it’s walls!

For those of you who want to see the best nature has to offer, or desire to experience the friendly city life, or simply want to relax and unwind for a weekend, there is only one choice. Come and visit us at the dridder forest! Reserve your dream vacation today!

(This ad is funded by the dridder tourist and nutritional society (DTNS). DTNS is unable to guarantee the safety of any individuals responding to this add and accepts no responsibility for any damage to property or harm to individuals. DTNS has declined to provide accurate statistics for the percentage of individuals who accept this offer and return safely, or at all. Reply at your own risk.)

Dridder Forest

heh XD

this is a little build on to "don't panic"

don't panic, it won't help you, instead YOU SHOULD RUN LIKE HELL oh and don't look back.(unless you like mawshots^^)