Urges

(reader discretion advised)

Guys, I don't know how to say this, but I'll try. Over the past few weeks, something has been totally dominating my mind, sex. I just can't stop thinking about it, and what i'm missing. I believe though, that this comes from my very high amount of testosterone. As a Bio grad, I understand that I have a higher Testosterone (T for the sake of writing) than most. I can grow facial hair in 4-5 days, think violent thoughts often, have much pent-up rage and bloodlust, and of course, desire sexual activity.

Before anyone asks, yes I've tried porn (perhaps a bit too much) but it is only a temporary relief. I still crave the real thing. Unfortunately, the only girl who wants to do it with me is 13 hours away, and I really don't have any friends here who would let me do it (despite one of them practically owing me sex by this point).

Another temporary relief I have is playing violent and intense games, such as Killing FLoor 2 (which I am now addicted to). Its just so enjoyable to me how intense it is and violent it is! (Although I do find the gore in it lacking, but that's probably because my PC can't handle it) There is also a surprisingly high amount of female nudity in it, as one of the enemies is this nude girl who turns invisible to attack you.

I also, as you all well know, greatly enjoy Roleplaying stuff, as it is an escape for me. but the point is, I still feel empty and alone inside, overwhelmed by these constant urges of sex. I'm 22 and almost had sex twice, but never did for a few different reasons. I just...feel like that this is something I really need to do. Should I just get an escort and be done with it? Or maybe straight up tell that girl that she owes me for all the shit she put me through and all the stuff I did for her? Should I just watch more porn and fap more? I din't have an answer, but something needs to be done as these urges are making it near impossible to get anything done IRL.

I'm not really sure how to give you advice. If I had a psych major, then maybe, but I don't. As a personal suggestion, I'm not sure an escort is the way you wanna go depending on if its your first (real) time having sex or not. That being said, it is always an option - at least if you live in a decently sized city. Other than the obvious "find yourself a girl" comment, I'm not really sure what to do or say. :/

I cringed at "despite one of them practically owing me sex by this point". This is a very dangerous mindset. No one "owes" sex to anyone, whatever the reason may be.

This is rape culture.

Krisexy26 wrote:

I cringed at "despite one of them practically owing me sex by this point". This is a very dangerous mindset. No one "owes" sex to anyone, whatever the reason may be.

This is rape culture.

I was trying to avoid addressing this point because of the topic, and at risk of going on a tangent, but yes.

That mindset + the overwhelming desire can potentially lead to a situation such as rape, and "nobody owes sex to anyone" is a bad reason to do that, or anything else for that matter.

Still, I would recommend going to some kind of psychologist, since I doubt anyone here is qualified enough, but I know those can be expensive. Not everyone has 100$+ lying around, but one would definitely help. A good session with a specialist can help a lot with just about anything.

Krisexy26 wrote:

I cringed at "despite one of them practically owing me sex by this point". This is a very dangerous mindset. No one "owes" sex to anyone, whatever the reason may be.

This is rape culture.

Excuse me, who let the feminist in? I'm NOT EVEN FUCKING THINKING OF RAPING HER, YOU PRESUMTIOUS TWAT! Sure she may have blueballed me like you wouldn't beleive, but I would never, NEVER stoop so low! Men aren't pigs, despite what you've been fed on Tumblr!

Archmage_Bael wrote:

Still, I would recommend going to some kind of psychologist, since I doubt anyone here is qualified enough, but I know those can be expensive. Not everyone has 100$+ lying around, but one would definitely help. A good session with a specialist can help a lot with just about anything.

I did in college, nothing like wasting hours talking nonsense only for it to amount to "Do what makes you happy." Psychology is really just one big scam.

Rape and rape culture are two things. Thinking someone owes you sex is rape culture. It's not about feminism, it's about facts. I'm not even sure if you understand what consent is, given your immature reaction. The OP wasn't flying high already.

I don't go to Tumblr. I read books instead. You should, too. Women like smart men.

Grow up, feminism is the future. Women aren't only there to satisfy your sexual desires. Here's the trick: sex comes when you stop looking for it.

And for your own enjoyment: The Basics of Rape Culture

Krisexy26 wrote:

Rape and rape culture are two things. Thinking someone owes you sex is rape culture. It's not about feminism, it's about facts. I'm not even sure if you understand what consent is, given your immature reaction. The OP wasn't flying high already.

I don't go to Tumblr. I read books instead. You should, too. Women like smart men.

Grow up, feminism is the future. Women aren't only there to satisfy your sexual desires. Here's the trick: sex comes when you stop looking for it.

And for your own enjoyment: The Basics of Rape Culture

Excuse me? Do you know anything about me or this girl? Yeah, I thought not. She works as an escort, which is basically a legal prostitute. She has sex with literally any guy she likes, all except me, the only guy to treat her right. Don't you think that is a little unfair to me?

Please, common sense is the enemy of feminism! Its quite known that women are much more likely to work less than men, because of their physical and mental limitations. While they can do jobs just as well, they require more downtime and are much less profitable than men are for reasons such as PMS, Birth, Post-birth care (Which can mean years without work but still get pay), and many more reasons. Men don't do that beacuse we physically can't give birth or have periods. The only reason we do so is if we get too sick to walk in the door.

I'm also quite smart, with a Bachelors in Biology, something I highly doubt that you can say.

Also, I find it amusing how you never comment on any posts, except this one to shamelessly promote your feminist agenda. I wrote this post here since I trusted the people here, much more so than the people on DA, to help me. If you can't do that, then leave. Or, in the words of my mom, "If you don't have anything nice to say, shut up!"

dragon808tr wrote:

Excuse me? Do you know anything about me or this girl? Yeah, I thought not. She works as an escort, which is basically a legal prostitute. She has sex with literally any guy she likes, all except me, the only guy to treat her right. Don't you think that is a little unfair to me?

This has  been addressed before on social media. Just because you treat a girl right doesn't entitle you to sex.

That being said, I still understand your concern, but am unsure how to help. If a psychologist doesn't help, you may want to talk to a psychiatrist or something. If you know you have an unusually high amount of testosterone, it may be helpful to see what medicinal options you have.

That being said, please don't yell at Krisexy.

@Krisexy, I understand your concerns about the comments in the thread, but your belittling doesn't help the problem he's having. Both yours and dragon's comments are getting a little obnoxious.

I'm going to join Kris here and be honest: there are some red flags in your post, and your responses aren't helping. I'm also going to second Bael; these are problems that you need to get addressed, preferably by a professional.

If that's not an option, perhaps try yoga or mindfulness practices or...something. Really, the problem is it really sounds like you're letting your urges control you, and while you've dealt with it in what seems to be a decently responsible way so far, it sounds like the methods you use are stopgaps at best. Overly high testosterone levels (do you actually have a diagnosis of this, or is it your guess?) aren't an excuse for irresponsible behavior. If you need medical help, get it. If you need psychological help, get it. Honestly, I doubt that a single session with an escort would solve much of anything, legality issues aside, and you might wind up into deeper trouble.


That said, I will dispute one of Kris's points:

Krisexy26 wrote:

Here's the trick: sex comes when you stop looking for it.

Anecdotally, completely untrue. More rigorously, probably only true to a point; being desperate is a major turn-off and red flag to any potential partners, but if you're looking for a partner, you're not likely to just stumble across one; you have to put yourself out there, and put in actual work.

You don't know me as well, dear. I have a minor in literature linked with a bachelor in sociology, a bachelor in communication and currently working on a masters degree in communication as well. If I follow the way you're thinking, I'm actually three times smarter than you. Having a paper saying you succeeded in something doesn't make you smart. You may have a 100% in Biology, but I'd give you a big ZERO in philosophy.

You said: "Please, common sense is the enemy of feminism! Its quite known that women are much more likely to work less than men, because of their physical and mental limitations." Your common sense frightens me.

She may be an escort, a 16 years old girl or a 56 years old grandma, still, no one is entitled to have sex with anyone, however "cute or nice or smart" you may be. There's absolutely nothing unfair in this. You really need to understand that, because you're heading down a dangerous path.

I've nothing nice to say to you, because the way I see it, you're just another dude who's objectifying women and seeing them as nothing more than sex toys who have to have sex with you, "because you deserve it soooo much". I kinda felt forced to reply here, because what you're saying is pathetic and quite frankly insulting.

I'm asking the mods to shut down this thread, because if it goes on, I'm gonna get out of control (listen to bael on this, he knows me). Feminism is a debatable ideology (to some extents), but what Dragon is saying is pure fucking garbage.

To Gamma: I agree with what you're saying

You don't know it yet, but I'm the one helping you the most, here - only I'm doing it the hard way.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3696245/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/hypersexuality-symptoms-of-sexual-addiction/

just a hunch

DarkOne wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3696245/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/hypersexuality-symptoms-of-sexual-addiction/

just a hunch

Thank you, at least this is actual help.

DarkOne wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3696245/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/hypersexuality-symptoms-of-sexual-addiction/

just a hunch

Ah here we go, these are quite good.

DarkOne wrote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3696245/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/hypersexuality-symptoms-of-sexual-addiction/

just a hunch

I was gonna say that high T causes stuff like sex addiction, but then again too low and you get like me: kinky but not very sexual. Bordering A-Romantic and just a few inches from A-Sexual.

I believe I can say this witout feeling too bad about myself: I'm, as the modern people say cringinly, a virgin. The closest things I've done to sex is foreplay and get tacked up and have a girl treat me as a horse. That being said when I see a BBW with the right amount of bootah I get sexually excited but I don't her or even fantasize about it.

(The following is not meant to be a criticism but genuine advice that I hope leads you to the gal you seek. Tools not judgement.)

Second and very important: nobody ever owes anybody sex. Always remember that. Spouse x Spouse, Freinds with benefits or even Domme x Sub one cannot expect any 'gratitude'. The reward is being with the other person but even that isn't garuanteed let alone copulation. It is never to be thought of as a reward but as a privilege.

Also you shouldn't call Kri a feminist or any gal really. Most people hate labels these days and your data on women needs updated a bit. Yes women have heightened emotions because of dealing with more chemicals than men but actually this makes them stronger mentally, especially psychologically than men. They also use both sides of their brains whereas most of us guys use one side...sometimes XD We're also as you pointed out aggressive and prone to rash decision whereas gals who've dealt with their emotions on a psychological level allot more are ten times more rational and logical about how to resolve comflict. And that job data you have....There are women in just about every feild now. Ye olden data what says they can only can do 'X' job because of biological imperatives.my biology teacher was a woman after all.

dragon808tr wrote:

Spoiler:

dragon808tr, consider yourself warned for flaming.

Kris didn't accuse you of wanting to rape anyone. And responding to a poster in that way is not acceptable.

She's also quite correct that you're not doing yourself any favours by believing that someone "owes" you sex, or that it's "unfair" that a woman won't sleep with you, or that you're entitled to it. You're not.

I'll leave this thread open if you can behave properly towards other users of the forum. But as has been pointed out, if it's affecting you badly, there's no substitute for professional psychological help.

French snack wrote:

dragon808tr wrote:

Spoiler:

dragon808tr, consider yourself warned for flaming.

Kris didn't accuse you of wanting to rape anyone. And responding to a poster in that way is not acceptable.

She's also quite correct that you're not doing yourself any favours by believing that someone "owes" you sex, or that it's "unfair" that a woman won't sleep with you, or that you're entitled to it. You're not.

I'll leave this thread open if you can behave properly towards other users of the forum. But as has been pointed out, if it's affecting you badly, there's no substitute for professional psychological help.

Excuse me FS, but I posted this here as I didn't want my DA followers to see it. I trust the people at the fourms longer as I have known them for longer and have mostly been shown kindness. This blatant attack on me by Krisexy was totally uncalled for and unnecessary. If anything, she should also be given an equal warning. I shouldn't have to feel threatened in a fourm I love so much.

dragon808tr wrote:

Excuse me FS, but I posted this here as I didn't want my DA followers to see it. I trust the people at the fourms longer as I have known them for longer and have mostly been shown kindness. This blatant attack on me by Krisexy was totally uncalled for and unnecessary. If anything, she should also be given an equal warning. I shouldn't have to feel threatened in a fourm I love so much.

I'll confer with the other mods. Kris' statement was rather blunt, but it was not an insult as yours was (particularly crass, at that), and she did clarify it in a subsequent post.

Nor was it a threat on her part.

DarkOne wrote:

posted something

Hi Dark.