The Dragon, The Sphinx and the zombie crow ((chapter 3 up!))

Lol random title there ^^ This is Biomivtch's story! here are his first two chapters and I assure you there will be more to come! Also I'll have there bios and such up soon! Enjoy!


Chapter 1



"I truly despise writers block" Muttered Biomivtch who was in his study writing a book on the speech of harpies, having spending time around them he's learned the truth to their language and wishes to share this knowledge with others, then he believes they will stop thinking harpies to be no more then foul mouthed prudes, well expect for humans nekos and elves, they might still be upset about the whole eating them thing, they should get over that soon though, it's not healthy to hold grudges.
"Urgh, that's as far as I'm getting in this story tonight" His ear twitched as he heard someone enter the library and bump into something, knocking it over, he rolled his eyes and stood up "Better go see if everything's all right."
Grudgingly he walked out of his study into front of the library.
"Honestly this late at night? Shouldn't you people be out trying to hunt fairies or something?"
He saw who the late night visitor was as he turned the corner of a large shelf row, a young adult male human, who from the look of his clothing appeared to be a mage in training. He was picking up a rather large book he must have knocked over while walking in, and struggling while lifting it, Biomivtch mumbled annoyed to himself, briskly walked over and with ease took the book out of the straining young mans hands and put it back in it's place on the table it was sitting on before.
It was oblivious it was the young mages first time there because his eyes were full of surprise as he stared at Biomivtch.
"You should really take a picture. It'll last longer" Biomivtch said dryly glaring at the boy.

"I.....I....Pleas don't eat me!" Said the young mage shaking.

Biomivtch thought his eyes would fall out from rolling them so much, he pushed his glasses up.
"Stop whining, I'm not going to eat you, now what is it you want? Thank you by the way for nearly harming a 400 year old book."
"Sorry sir! I didn't mean to!" The mage exclaimed "i was just trying to get a book down and...well the whole thing just went!"
"Idiot" Biomivtch mumbled to himself. "Okay I highly doubt you were trying to read up on a book that only a handful of people even know the language too, so what is it you came in here for? Please tell me you aren't here on a dare to find the "Scary man eating dragon that looks funny"

"n...no sir! I really did want that book! it is for my school project, we have to research ancient magic and come back with a new spell! I swear!"
the boy cowers under Biomivtch's intimidating presence, it looks like he might start crying at any moment
"oh dear gods" Biomivtch mumbled "don't get your panties in a twist, listen, this book is just up for display and occasionally I'll let someone within a foot of it, but it's very fragile so, DON'T TOUCH IT, you can find another book somewhere else in the library.
The mage's eyes got wider, pleading "but I really need this book! if I don't get an A on this assignment I will be kicked out of the academy! I wont survive on my own! please sir, just let me read it! Please! if they kick me out I will be Naga food in a week! Or worse yet, there use me for summoning practice! Last week one of my friends was used to summon a surcubuss, poor guy was never seen again!"
Biomivtch sighed his antenna twitching in annoyance. Then picked up the book, holding it up to the young man, then he opened it to a random page which had extremely strange writing within it
"Tell me, can YOU honestly read this?"
The young mage twittered his thumbs looking nervous. " Um....welll I don't really do a good job of READING the magic spells, I usually just sound out the words and see what happens...... heh"
Biomivtch couldn't even think of a snappy remark for a few seconds after hearing that.
"Well, then."
Biomivtch carefully closed the book then bonked the mage over the head with it.
"You sir, are a nitwit."
"Hey! what was that for! Nothing bad ever happened before when I did that! except for all thousand times I set my hair on fire.... But hey, at least they let me stay at the academy!"
"... Bloody hell" Biomivtch said upon hearing this "I know if I let you try and use this book, you're health won't do very well" Biomivtch's eye twitched at this horrible rhyme
"stupid headaches... Listen, here take this book" Biomivtch reached up to a shelf and pulled down a yellow book "beginning magic for dummies" it read
"Here you are, I think this suits you nicely.
The mage shook his head "but I already read that book....thats the one that set my hair on fire. Plus if I don't learn a really impressive and ancient spell I will be kicked out of school for sure!
Biomivtch blinked "...There aren't even any fire spells in this book!" he thought
"Well" Biomivtch started "I am starting to think that may be best for everyone's safety, especially my books safety."
"B- but, then what will I do! I will have no home, no family and no chance of getting a job!
Biomivtch had started to walk away, then looked over his shoulder "How is this any of my concern exactly?"
"But" The mage said, nearly in tears ".....I ....please help me sir....."
Biomivtch turned around "You're not going to shut up and quite whining unless I help, are you?"
"Nope!" The mage said in an annoying cheerful voice.
Biomivtch sighed heavily "Fine fine" Then he smirked, evil plans going through his head. "Wait here I'll be right back, Biomivtch walked back into his study
"Ok sir!" The young mage bounced happily on his feet, ecstatic that someone might actually help him for once, he thought he was going to get an A for sure!
Biomivtch came back a little while later, with a piece of paper in hand, an inscription written on it. Unknowingly to the young extremely dim mage, the spell was to teleport them somewhere out in the Ascarlin Mountains, out of protection of the city.
"Here you are, this will guarantee you a good future" Biomivtch said with a wide grin.
" OK! Thanks sir! now how does this spell go? abola...abolaonotro...tiah-" Suddenly after saying that in a quick flash of light the mage disappeared from sight.
Biomivtch snickered, he did owe his friend Violet a favor for her getting him to meet a very strange green haired mutant shapeshifter named Ryla who helped him write up a book on Predator/Prey relationships. She was very interesting, much better then other dull conversations he's had with others on the subject, least he was rid of that annoying whinny mage, though there were still more. He had PLENTY of teleportation spells to go around.

((Meanwhile in the Ascarlin Mountains))

"Urgh... AH! where am I!?" Exclaimed the mage as he got up, trying to see in the darkness, "Uhh sir?? where are you? It seems I have uh.. I don't know what happened... wait.. did you teleport me away or something!? how mean!"
Suddenly a sweet sounding voice boomed behind him
"Oh yummy! a snack!"

To be continued.


Chapters 2


It was midday in the city of Negav, the streets were bustling, people running from here to there constantly, small markets and shops set up in some areas, while others were more calm and orderly.
In the West area of the city was a large library, near impossible to miss because of it's huge size, it was said to have nearly ever book there was, and also there was said to be an extremely snarky dragon running the whole damn thing.
Biomivtch was in his own chambers sleeping soundly, though this was short lived

"BIO!!! WAKEY WAKEY! it's a beeeauuteeful day!" Yelled Honey, She was the frontdesk lady basically, also she was a very odd human sized sphinx, she had dark blonde hair, her human half was tanned. She had bright hazel eyes, her lion half was a soft beige color, while her wings were white with some gray mixed in. Unlike most Sphinxes she wore a long dress that covered up all areas that need be covered.
"Urrggghhh" Was the only reply Honey got from Biomivtch
"Oh come on now! Perk up! it's a new day! Now get your lazy scaled hiney up!"
"No"
"Yes!"
"No"
"Yep
"No"
"Yeeeesssshh"
Biomivtch frustrated sat up from his bed to glare at her
"BLOODY HELL WOMAN! I WANT MY REST!"
"Well, you've HAD rest, and plenty of it! now come on!" Honey forced Biomivtch's current scowl into a smile using her hands "And cheer up and get up!"
"Sure, I will, under one condition"
"Yay! What's that?"
"Stop touching my face"
"Oh you're no fun!" Honey said smiling as she stopped forcing Biomivtch's face into a smile. As soon as she let go he curled up again, his back to her.
"Hey! Didn't you just say you were gonna get up!"
"I lied"
"Meany pants!"
"I don't wear pants"
Honey at this point stuck her tongue out at Biomivtch and stomped off.
Biomivtch sighed, now he could get some rest.
Or so he thought
A few minutes later he heard someone try to quietly enter his room then CLANK was the sound made as a pot hit him over the head.
"NOW WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!" Honey yelled triumphantly Biomivtch was slightly dizzy from the impact to the head, though lucky for him she had hit him right on the horns, so dizziness was all he suffered from. Soon as the room stood spinning for him turned around to face Honey who was grinning
"You're not going to leave me alone are you?"
"Nope!"
"Thought so, fine I'm up"
"Yay! There are some new books in that need to be translated, I'll have them on your desk shortly"
Honey happily skipped out of Biomivtch's room.
"That crazy ninny is going to be the death of me." Groggily Biomivtch got up, walking over to a small stove set up in his room, grabbed a tea pot, which was on the large size to most those human sized, but for him is was just right, he poured himself out a large cup of tea. It was homemade, he took quite abit of pride in making it, it was strong enough to get him up in the morning and help with the headaches caused by ill placed rhymes and that crazy loon of a sphinx.
"Ahhh" He sighed after taking a deep drink of it, putting down the half empty cup he strode out of his quarters and into the back of the library, already he could hear Honey humming loudly to herself as she flew around reorganizing books on the higher shelf's.
"She never tires it seems like.. She's like some crazy happy go lucky caffeine addict"
Honey then much to Biomivtch's joy appeared behind him hovering in the air.
"Oh good! you're lazy butt is up! Oh and there's someone here to see you apparently."
Surprise crossed Biomivtch's face, he had not the slightest clue who it could be, maybe one of Violets reading circle friends, those children often came by to check out story books, but not at this time of day.
Biomivtch went to the front of the library where his guest was waiting, when he turned the corner of the last book shelf his jaw nearly dropped.
It was the mage from the previous day, his robes torn and he looked tired, but other then that ... he wasn't eaten. The Mage was looking with fascination at Philip who was looking back at him. Philip was much like a crow or raven, about the same size too, he just happened to appear one day in the library and Honey instantly fell in love with him, begging Biomivtch until he said yes to keeping him around, Philip was helpful though, and often ran small errands for Biomivtch and Honey. He often wore a small top hat, a scarf, and a monocle on the one eye he wasn't missing. He is undead so he didn't come from Felarya, no one can guess where he came from, but even though he has ribs showing, can't fly and sometimes his leg falls off, everyone often finds themselves instantly in love with the little bird.

"Caw?" Philip said questioningly to the Mage.
"Oh Hey there little guy, aren't you a cute little undead bird! yes you are!"
"Caw"

"Ahem"

The mage turned around at the sound of Biomivtch clearing his throat.

"Now tell me this, how are you still alive and how quickly will it take me to correct that?"

The mage looked upset.

"Well, after you sent me out into the woods I met a Dridder! Nearly wet myself when I saw her at first, hopefully she didn't notice, but we got to talking and she is a great story and joke teller! I laughed so hard I completely peed my pants, I really hope she didn't notice that either..."

Biomivtch's jaw had nearly come off, the mage took this as a cue to continue

"So after having a nice chat until sunrise she dropped me off by the city limits and asked me to come back out to hear more stories, I said I'd be more then happy to! She's really pretty too!"

Biomivtch had managed to get his jaw back in it's right place finally.
"So.... does this mean I'm stuck with you?"

The mage nodded "Oh and I do have a name you know"

"Why would I care?"

"It's Dayle"

"Amazingly I still don't care"

"OH Be nice Bio! He's a good kid!" Honey interrupted as she flew down from the top of a nearby shelf landing nearby them. "I like him! we should keep him around, he can help me out with dusting and organizing and all that fun stuff!"

Biomivtch was sincerely hoping this was all just some horrible nightmare.

"No, I say we should see if he's stupid enough to say another teleportation spell that'll take him out into the topaz sea."

"Hey! There will be no feeding him off to predators! got that?"

"Oh you're one to talk, don't think I don't know about you eating Neeras or shrinking Thieves in the libaray"

"Hmph" Honey said folding her arms pouting "That's totally different! Now I say he stays!"
"And I say I throw him out the closed window."
"Stays!"
"Gets thrown out a window"
Stays!!"
"Window!"
"Caw!" Philip interrupted as he hopped next to Dayle
"Caw!"

Honey smiled widely
"Yay! thank you my little tie breaker!" She picked up Philip and gave him a quick hug then let him hop back down over to Dayle

"Oh terrific" Biomivtch said, his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Does this mean I work here now?!" Dayle said happily

"Sure does! and you need help with spells right? Not a problem, we can start organizing those first and read through em as we go!"

"Yay!"

Dayle and Honey skipped happily away deeper into the library, Philip following close behind.

"Dear gods..." Biomivtch mumbled.

He went over to his desk and picked up a huge jar of aspirin.

"I don't think this'll be near enough..."



To be continued.

Chapter 3





Where we last left them, Biomivtch was nearly over dosing on aspirin, Honey was happily showing Dayle spellbooks, Dayle was paying more attention to Honey's chest, while Philip hopped around cawing.

"And that's how you create an elixir that'll let you live forever, you listen Dayle?"

Dayle was snapped out of his moment of looking at her boobies "Wha?"

Honey smiled "Oh close enough, this stuff is alittle advanced right now, but we'll find some stuff that's just at your level! Not sure what that level is but we will find it!"

Biomivtch was grumbling to himself at his desk, Dayle glanced over at him, then back at Honey's boobs.

"Hey Honey I was wondering, how'd you meet Biomivtch? you two are so... different."

Honey sighed "It's an interesting story really... though I'm not that great of a story teller"

"That's okay!" Dayle exclaimed, he didn't mind listening to a story form Honey, he could look at her boobs the whole time!
"Well, all right, it started out a few years ago, I was wandering around, see I kinda got kicked out of my home, something about me being a loon and unsphinx like. Never did get it, I mean I'm a sphinx! how much more sphinx like can I get? Anyway so I was just wandering around flying over a river, when I noticed this weird dragon by the water writing stuff. I didn't wanna startle him, well I tried not to, but see I'm not the best flyer, and he was right by the water. I sorta landed in the water by him splashing him and all his books. I remember his exact words"

Honey then contorted her face into an mean scowl and yelled angrily, imitating Biomivtch "You blundering ninny! Those were ancient texts! I was translating them! Oh bloody hell now they're all wet the ink is going to run."
Honey cracked a smile "When I didn't leave he yelled at me " Well what the hell do you want?!" I decided he was just cranky and commented on the text scrolls, he looked taken back that I knew what they were. After a chat about them he said he could use someone who knew about this kinda stuff to help him out in his library. I love books and reading so of course I took him up on the job offer right away!"

Honey smiled in the direction of Biomivtch's desk which they couldn't see at the moment."We've been bestest friends every since!"

Biomivtch over hearing this muttered under his breath "Bestest friends my arse..."

"Although" Honey continued "He always gets up late, complains a lot, is always grumpy, is extremely sarcastic AND he refuses to eat his veggies"

Suddenly Biomivtch yelled "I DESPISE ASPARAGUS!"

Honey put her hands on her hips and turned towards Biomivtch direction.

"Biomivtch! Are you ease dropping on us?!"

There was a short pause

"...No"

"Oh, okay then"

Honey turned her attention back to Dayle

"So where do you come from again?"

Dayle looked down embarrassed

"Well, I'm not sure, can't remember much but I just know I enrolled in a mage academy, and the guy who was gonna get in my place got eaten by a dusk nymph so I got in by default! Which though as awesome as that is the classes are really hard."

"Aww" Honey said "It's alright! I'll help you till you're the best spell caster in the whole school! Biomivtch has some books on spells that he doesn't let anyone see, here I'll show you."

Biomivtch was in front of Honey blocking her way before she barley turned around.

"I don't think so."

"Oh come on! I'm careful"

"It's not you I'm worried about, I fear that if he so much as looks at them they might spontaneously combust, I won't risk that.

"They will not!"

"Yes they will

"Will no.."

Honey was interrupted by the loud sound of a book catching fire as Dayle touched it

"Holy crap you have exploding books!"

Biomivtch was smirking at Honey who folded her arms.

"Still! I just will read them for him! so no harm will come to your books, now please move."

"And why should I do that."

Honey smiled slyly

"Hmm you're right, I guess I'll go tell the city council what you are the one passing around those Crysaltino pictures...."

"FINE, I'm moving, I'm moving, bloody hell..." Biomivtch grumbled to himself as he walked back to his desk, he stopped for a second to look back at them.

"If I see ONE SMUDGE on ONE letter in any of those books I swear I will hurt him so badly his children's children will be born with bruises... though I sincerely hope he never gets the chance to pass on his genes.."

With that Biomivtch grudgingly walked off.

Honey shook her head smiling "Alright Dayle, lets get started!"

"Um.." Dayle started saying "Hey Honey?"

"Yes?"

"What's a Crysaltino?"

"I"ll tell you when you're older."