Internal conflict

Anyone that can help, or has experience in anything relationship wise, I would really appreciate it. This is basically the struggle Im having inside about my girlfriend...

Desire
Caution

============================

She let's us hug her... massage her... even nibble her ears... that's GOT to be a sign she likes us!!

NO! We cant do ANYTHING that might upset her... the smallest thing could drive her away from us!

What if she DOES like us enough to let us do some serious cuddling?

We cant take that risk!! Its impossible to tell what she's thinking... I dont wanna lose her

...but what if we wait too long and she's really been waiting for us to make a move?!

Forget it... its not worth the risk, not unless we're ABSOLUTELY sure she would like it...

$%#@ you!! Im sick of waiting for the most obvious sign!! It'll be too late by then!!!

...no...we wait just a little longer... we'll have another chance to talk to her tomorrow... -sigh- at the very worse... she'll get offended by us asking her what is too far...

WE WANTS THE PRECIOUS, WE WANTS IT

GOLLUM! GOLLUM!

Well, it all depends on the kind of person she is. But, if it were me, I'd say "Both". You don't want to be too cautious, or you risk making her believe there is something wrong with her. Or if you give too much into desire, especially if it's strong, you can drive her away from being too obsessive and clingy. So, if your not cautious enough, you could end up doing something embarrassing, like letting something secret slip out (it depends on what you and she are into deep down). So, I'd say use a little caution at first, but gradually open yourself up to her with desire as you get to know her without getting out of control.

Of course, this is just me speaking from my own experience I've had with past loves. I wouldn't take the advice by heart, but you can apply it if you wish. I suppose that tactic works well, I've been in a long-distance relationship for over 4 years now and still going strong.

i agree both is the best choice just going from what i can see. in my own experience im somewhat forward about what i do in relationships but it doesnt always work a good way to play both cards od desire and caution is to say something like "im ready (if you actually are) to go further in our relationships but i dont want to push you if your not ready and dont want to rush you into anything you dont want to do" this is only a suggest as i suck at relationships my longest being two and a half years. but i hope it works out for you and you girlfriend pyro ^_^

thanks a ton you guys


its really hard to listen to both at once, because I just get so nervous that I cant decide on which to go with, and its too much listening to both because if one starts to take over even a little bit, the other side of me just gets so upset and I start having an argument in my head which makes it worse

my mom went out shopping so we picked her up and we walked around together in the store, she would lock her arm around mine so I would place my arm around her shoulder or hold her hand
...but the problem was I got nervous, so I hesitated about cuddling more just because I was a bit nervous, so I hated myself for it afterwards

she does let me and her other friends rub and feel her chest... and she has a female friend who she lets do bondage on her
so she HAS to have a sexy side, after all, she looked up porn with me



still, if I think it over before-wards then I can never make up my mind, but when Im with her, I get so nervous that I hesitate

I was gonna talk to her tomorrow and ask her something like. "...please tell me if I ever do anything to upset you, Ill stop"

first off im slightly enveious of you from having such a cool and open minded girlfriend lol. but back to the subject. does your girlfriend know that you get nervous around her when you guys do things like you described? if not it could be a good idea to be honest with her and tell her that you get nervous about cuddling her more and being more affectionate towards her in case you make her feel uncomfortable. again just a suggestion

Just ask her. Watch her face while doing so. Always pay more attention to the face then the words... "The eyes are windows to the soul".

I have never had a working relationship, so take what I say with a vat of salt, but it's what I would suggest...

why not just ask straight foward

"Can I fuck you?"

That seems to be the underlying point in all this, kinda sad though but whatever.

well, when we left I did tell her something like
"I was a little nervous that you were coming over so I freshened up a bit"

I was nervous as $%#@

pirostyle wrote:

well, when we left I did tell her something like
"I was a little nervous that you were coming over so I freshened up a bit"

I was nervous as $%#@

Well if your not straightforward you're gonna have a shitty relationship, you have to be able to convay simple messages like that even if you are nervous.

Also why the hell are you censoring yourself? thats for 12 year olds

I'd show a slight bit of caution and let desire choose every once in a while.

I know it's not something you wanna hear, but you gotta balance both of them.

Alright... I told her why I was so nervous around her, it was because I didnt want to upset her, she told me not to worry about it, locked her arm around mine and walked to class with me

Thank god that's over with

Im inviting her over this wensday, just for some video games and some private cuddling, thanks a ton for everyone's advice, Ill post something else if I need help

you guys are awesome

And you still sound like a rapist.

I am NOT a rapist... ive nvr even had sex

...and I dont want to push it, it will be at least a month or two before I even start to HINT at that

Im comfy with massages and hugs right now

As it should be, hugs are less guilt-inducing.

I wonder if she'll let me do that trick I saw on the internet...
unhooking a bra in two seconds using only two fingers

works with clothes on, fun~

good stuff pyro ^_^ the bra tricks a hard one to do but i can do it lol tho not in two seconds lol o.o; i just realised iv never done it with a front clipping bra!!!! -ULTIMATE WEAKNESS FOUND- XDDDD

As a girl myself, I still find this to be creepy, who CARES if you get any or not? that shouldn't be the focus of a relationship.

Making a whole thread asking people about your chances of getting laid is just wtf.

In my experiences with women, few as they may be, the cautious road is usually the best way to go.

Spoiler:

Anyways, I'd say be cautious with women. You tend to lose friends less often when your cautious. Only do things if they ask. You can't go wrong that way

pirostyle wrote:

I wonder if she'll let me do that trick I saw on the internet...
unhooking a bra in two seconds using only two fingers

Yeah, I wonder.

Moonlight-pendent wrote:

As a girl myself, I still find this to be creepy, who CARES if you get any or not? that shouldn't be the focus of a relationship.

Making a whole thread asking people about your chances of getting laid is just wtf.

Back off moon, that wasnt why I started this thread, and it isnt the focus
I just asked for help about what to do

Im not some sex obsessed freak, so dont go assuming I am

pirostyle wrote:

I wonder if she'll let me do that trick I saw on the internet...

pirostyle wrote:

Im not some sex obsessed freak, so dont go assuming I am!!!11one

... Ahahaha. x3

pirostyle wrote:

Im inviting her over this wensday, just for some video games and some private cuddling

Even if she likes video games, hanging out with you and playing video games probably isn't on the top of her list if she actually has any interest in you. ^^; Consider an activity where you two will talk and get to know each other more. No, not a movie.

LauraThief wrote:

pirostyle wrote:

I wonder if she'll let me do that trick I saw on the internet...

pirostyle wrote:

Im not some sex obsessed freak, so dont go assuming I am!!!11one

... Ahahaha. x3

pirostyle wrote:

Im inviting her over this wensday, just for some video games and some private cuddling

Even if she likes video games, hanging out with you and playing video games probably isn't on the top of her list if she actually has any interest in you. ^^; Consider an activity where you two will talk and get to know each other more. No, not a movie.

THANKYOU for pointing that out lol

would it be stupid to just ask her what she feels about you???

I have never even had a date myself, but I have two older siblings who have, as well as a bunch of friends.

From all the things I 've witnessed, it is a very good idea to wait, and be 100% sure that this individual is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Otherwise, you'll end up like alot of people I know and your life will become a living h-e-double hockey sticks. My older brother is now realizing that problem, and it stresses me out along with other family members.

In short, wait and be sure instead of jumping the gun, or you might find yourselves in a situation that is totally unwanted.