...so ya, this'll be my thread for my absurdly random and very silly stories abusing this poor bastard who somehow decided to go be a fairy hunter with a net. Ya know, one of those guys. Take the stories inside that come with a grain of salt- this is all for pure humor heh. I don't typically treat human characters with this much cluelessness...I just like to abuse this poor guy a lot. So much so, I'm not even gonna name him. He's just 'that fairy hunter'. The pictures these stories are based on belong to Karbo, as well as the characters of his used. Comments and critique are more than welcome- it may be silly but I still welcome improvement.
Anyways, on with the story. It is a direct follow up to the last abuse he went through 'Story- Gonna Need a Bigger Net' from within the amuse-gueule thread or my da page. Regardless, here is a link to catch up but I try to cover the events with the intro anyways. Second story down on the page.
https://felarya.forumotion.com/t2097p45-amuse-gueule-or-very-short-storiesAnyways, enjoy heh.
Story- Surprise Attack
"Um…err… is there any way to talk you out of this? Please? I- I swear I don't taste that good! I honestly didn't mean anything by that 'nice ass' thing, I swear!" the fairy hunter desperately pleaded as he was held in the palm of the now giant purple fairy. The day had taken a drastically large turn for the worse. He had gone from, what he expected at least, a rather brave adventure into the wilds of Felarya armed only with his wits and what supplies he could carry- and of course his butterfly net as he began his hunt. He had even finally cornered one of those rare and mystical fairies as she darted around, no larger than a neera, and was all set to go capture his prize. Of course, that's when everything all went as wrong as it could as fast as it could. How was he supposed to know they could grow in size like that!? He was able to catch a glimpse of the red jaykay bird that had blown his cover, still perched on the tree watching, even as he was held in her grasp. For some reason the crazy thing seemed intent on following him and begging for crackers that he didn't have, ruining any hopes he had to have avoided his predicament. He also believed it to secretly be enjoying watching just how much he could suffer. Stupid bird, it was all his fault.
He cringed as the fairy's gaze shifted to one of annoyance after he had made his plea. Somehow he felt he actually missed the mischievous and hungry look she had before more than this now. Being with a hungry predator was bad enough, but a giant angry one that might want to take some manner of revenge, especially being no taller than her index finger somehow only helped to make him feel more powerless at her impressive sight. She fixed him with that annoyed gaze for a few moments, making him writhe as he feared he had made a fatal mistake somehow insulting her by talking about her ass.
Her mouth opened as she finally broke the silence, making him flinch again from her sudden activity in fear. "Are you saying I don't have a nice ass then?" she angrily asked.
He could only stare at her dumbfounded as he tried to make sense of the situation. The fairy actually liked him saying she had a nice ass?! "Uh, well, it is nice…," he answered hesitantly. Nervously he swallowed, to clear his throat- fearing that he may have given the wrong answer. Generally from what he knew, telling a lady she had a nice ass earned a hard slap to the face…but from a giant fairy, he somehow doubted it would be as kind. Her eyes were still glued to him, that glare unchanging as she watched his every move. Off to the side, he could swear the red jaykay bird was still grinning at his predicament. "Are you going to hurt me?" he asked fearfully.
The fairy tilted her heard ever so slightly, as her expression softened just as much. "Hmmm, no, I wasn't going to hurt you," she answered plainly. He let out a sigh of relief. "Still going to eat you though."
He froze, stunned. "What?"
The fairy grinned again, seemingly satisfied at his renewed confusion. "If anything, I am a bit happy you fell for my trap so easily. It just proves that it is one of the nicest butts in Felarya. It wasn't the most complex of my traps… but you did fall for admiring my butt enough for me to catch you," she giggled.
The fairy hunter could only stare at her in complete bewilderment. This was just getting too weird. How could she not see eating him as hurting him at all? Besides the fact he was held and seemingly soon to be eaten by a giant humanoid with butterfly wings and antlers growing from her head as being bizarre enough to the imagination, but she was actually hunting by using her ass? That was just as unfair a hunting tactic as hunting with giant boobs. "Ok, I'm sorry, but what is this fascination with your, um, behind?" he asked, completely overcome with the insanity of it all to really care about his predicament.
"Oh, well, there was a bit of a contest I had a few days ago over who had the best butt in Felarya," she explained. The fairy hunter took this in stride, as honestly, it didn't seem to be too farfetched at this point anymore. The fairy huffed as the thoughts of the contest came back to her and diverted her gaze from him as she contemplated it. "I should have won that too! It's no fair Caylin used that pose! Next time I'll change the rules to make it fairer…" she grumbled in complaint.
"Say…" she said looking back down at him, a new mischievous smile on her face; "I got a bit of an idea actually. I'll set you down here and then you judge me too. Just tell me what you think and I might just let you go," she winked.
"Uh, sure I guess. I'll be a judge for you," he answered quickly, taking any chance for a possible escape.
The fairy leaned in closer, making him cringe again as her gaze honed in on him. "Now no lying- I really want to know if you think my ass is nice or not!" she said sternly. The fairy hunter nodded quickly. Somehow he thought no matter what his answer was going to be, she might still eat him. "Good! Now let me put you down," she said as she set him down on the forest floor. Placing him down she turned, making sure to strike a pose to give him another view of her rather giant shapely bottom.
He was about to open his mouth when a sudden squawking drew his attention back to the red jaykay bird once more. "Rawk! Nice ass!"
The purple skinned fairy laughed at the bird. "Thank you sweety! Maybe I should make you a judge next time too!" she called back to the bird. Turning her attention back to the fairy hunter, she addressed him again, "well, how do I look?"
"Uh, you look very-"
"Sorry to butt in♪!" a voice playfully rang out as suddenly a giant tanned neko had flung herself, and her behind, straight into the fairy's ass as she awaited his answer.
"Ah!?" was the only thing fairy had time to yell out as she was completely pushed out of the way from the neko's surprise attack. The fairy hunter watched for a moment as the force sent her sprawling onto the ground with the neko landing on top of her shortly after. Wasting no time at this sudden, and even more chaotic than he could have ever guessed, turn of events he quickly fled from the scene- with the very persistent jaykay bird intent on flying with him.
"Damnit! Caylin, not you again! First the contest and now you're making me lose my snack!" he heard as the fairy yelled out angrily from a distance.
"Mrrr, you're still mad about that? Come on, it was just a silly contest. Besides, we both know who has the best butt in Felarya now!" he heard the newcomer gloating as he continued to make as much space as he could between them.
More of their arguing could be heard as he crashed into more of the large vegetation, soon putting the two feuding giants far behind him. Taking a moment to catch his breath he hid in a small hole within some bushes, taking his new found freedom to rest. No sooner than he had sat down did the red jaykay bird show up once more.
"Rawk! Jolly want a cracker!"
"Shhh! You're not helping! I don't have crackers!" he angrily whispered to the bird as it sat staring at him, clearly intent on giving him more trouble.
"Rawk! You're not helping!"
He could only glare at the bird as it sat there, returning it's strange smiling look back as it waited for him. He reached into his pockets in a futile search for something, anything, to at least get the bird to leave him alone before it brought either of those giants over to him again. All this trouble and insanity, all because this bird insisted on getting some blasted crackers that he didn't have. As his hands fumbled around they eventually settled on a plastic bag and he froze as he pulled it out.
It was a bag full of crackers.
Subject: Chronicles of the Hapless Fairy Hunter 
Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:05 am
