Hats characters

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Well your bio is interestingly designed....But it's kinda short and layed out sort haphazardly, not to mention that the post bellow:

Quote :

To: Danielle E. Lead Research director.
From: Richard P. FELARYA exploration CEO
Danielle, I need to you inform the team members (the file attached contains their names) to report to the dimensional portal, its time to send them on their way.
P.S. contact DOCTOR and request a way to set off memories, we will use this as a fail safe in case of CODE: 287

That reads like a RP invite. They don't belong here as far as I know. Then again you may have intended something else. If you did, sorry. Also keep in mind I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just trying to help you to fit in and such.

jedi-explorer wrote:

Well your bio is interestingly designed....But it's kinda short and layed out sort haphazardly, not to mention that the post bellow:

Quote :

To: Danielle E. Lead Research director.
From: Richard P. FELARYA exploration CEO
Danielle, I need to you inform the team members (the file attached contains their names) to report to the dimensional portal, its time to send them on their way.
P.S. contact DOCTOR and request a way to set off memories, we will use this as a fail safe in case of CODE: 287

That reads like a RP invite. They don't belong here as far as I know. Then again you may have intended something else. If you did, sorry. Also keep in mind I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just trying to help you to fit in and such.

Thanks for helping me out, dont worry im not going to take offense easily,
I didnt mean to have ti as a RP element, its referencing to a ability of FATMAN's that im keeping secret for now,

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you should really try to make these bios a bit longer, more history and personality to them.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

you should really try to make these bios a bit longer, more history and personality to them.

I still have one more guy who int a lab experiment, thats the problem for me, these guys are all experiments on cross breeding, its all the same thing so far.
Birth->care->mother/father taken away-> training->present
These guys are just my first try at specific characters, I suck at making history, which is why I make groups. Combined their history is told through stories
And I do have a little back-story thatl im typing now.

Well, if they're all the same background you might want to fix that. Add in various other things/activities/quirks/etc to make it different. While I do agree that the story is what makes the character truly unique, you should have at least SOME basis otherwise. All you have are just physical stuff. Hair, Eye color, height, age, gender, race, etc. That's all well and dandy, but like I said, back-story and personality are essential to at least describe briefly, otherwise no one here is going to take you seriously.

Name: Kenny Amaho
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Height: 5'8
Hair Colour: Light brown
Eye Colour: blue

Kenny is a human off-worlder coming from a war-torn planet, where males are drafted into the military at a young age. He has short, groomed brown hair, and blue eyes, which are often blood-shot from lack of sleep and stress. He often wears a steel-pot helmet with goggles attached to them. The rest of his outfit comprises of a light paratrooper uniform, with a lieutenant emblem on the shoulders. He wears a olive green T-shirt underneath, along with white cotton pants. He wears dark brown combat boots, a belt holding ammo pouches and flares, emergency rations, etc. On the helmet is an imprinted image of his platoon's mark, a bullet-ridden flag with the words "Lost Children" on it. He lost his weapon during a night-time parachute drop behind enemy lines, and instead uses a pistol and combat knife. He also has a backpack, containing a bed-roll and entrenchment tools.

Personality

Kenny is an idol to his men, charismatic, caring, experienced, his men love him and he loves them. They form a close knit band of brothers, and their loyalty to each other is high. However, even though Kenny appears as a kind, intellectual, level-headed leader at first glance, he suffers from a depression he keeps hidden from everyone around him. He learned from experience that there's a time for mourning, and a time for action. As long as his strengths are counted on by his fellow soldiers, he will postpone any sort of lamentation...At least until he's alone.
Seeing so many friends and people dying has left him scarred mentally. He suffers from the same terrible nightmare every night, him on the gallows with the noose around his neck, while the bloodied souls of the lost Children watch, silently. Blood seeping from their wounds, and their eyes completely white...
Then he hears a lever being pulled, and the floor sliding out underneath him, before waking up with cold sweat.
His loyalty to his men puts him in danger many times. He will not leave one man behind, and doesn't leave with the rest until he is sure that every man who can be saved is saved. He is also the last one to leave. This loyalty is one of the things that his men respect, and they are willing to show the same loyalty to each other, following Kenny's example.
Another thing about him that his men love is his merciful actions, he tries to resolve things peacefully and cleanly, only resorting to violence as a last resort.

Background

Kenny was born on a back-water planet, desperately fighting for survival. At the age of 13, he was drafted into the military, and assigned to the Lost Children Platoon. The platoon originally consisted of soldiers under the age of 18, many of which have little to no education. Kenny was lucky however, and was able to get house-schooled at a young age, as such he is literate, and spends his time reading books on subjects such as science and mathematics, having to educate himself.
The platoon was often sent on Forlorn hope missions, always the first ones in, the first ones shot, the first ones to die.
He had his first real taste of action when he was 15, when his platoon was selected to drop behind enemy lines, cutting off their escape. Needless to say, the whole operation was riddled with snafus, and the Lost children quite literally lost children, the platoon went from having 50 men to having only 28, and for two weeks the Lost Children slowly went home, this is when most of the causalities actually happened, as disease and wounds got the better of them.
When he was 17, he was promoted to Lance Corporal.
He quickly climbed through the ranks, the men cheering him on all the way. Tales of his success reached the ears of the commander of the company, who became paranoid of losing his position.
Kenny and his men were sent to accompany other units that were considered to be a "bad" influence on the battlefield, or so the commanders say.
The Lost Children, along with the 24th grenadier platoon and the 15th Sapper division, were sent to be transferred to the front lines. They were ambushed by hired mercenaries, and a large-scale fight broke out. It lasted for hours, until the land surrounding them suddenly seemed to morph into a frozen wasteland. The soldiers did not know that they were sucked into Felarya, into the Imoreith Tundra. Of course, like the idiots they were, the mercenaries kept on shooting, the sound of gunfire, along with the strange effects of the tundra, attracted every predator and animal within 10 miles. The two sides scattered when the denizens of the tundra showed up, some went to the north, some to the south. Kenny never did meet up with the men who went north, and they are presumed to be dead by now.
It was a bloody massacre, and in the end, only 36 people from the combined 3 units were alive.
14 Lost children
6 sappers
16 grenadiers.
The group quickly left the tundra, lucky for them, they were teleported close to the Elifga valley, and were able to escape.
It has been a total of two months since they arrived into Felarya, the sappers fortified a cave to serve as a home-base, near Chordoni falls.
Now Kenny has nothing, no fame, no reputation, nothing except for his loyal men, he heard of a safe haven down south, but so far they have found nothing

I like the latest one because rather than just state that he's famous or loved, as people often do with their chars, you explained some reasons why his men have become so loyal to him, and believable ones at that. I'm anxious to read whatever stories you come up with about this guy and his troop.