| | Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl |  |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
 |  Subject: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl  Mon Jan 04, 2016 11:31 am | |
| I would like to submit a giant slug girl to the mix. From what I can tell, there aren't too many. Her name is Opdogstra, she's 98'9" tall, and she's an opportunistic predator. She lives in the Jungle of Perils and is a fan of art should one wish to survive her if caught in her slime. She has dust brown hair and fair skin. Her slug half is dark green with brown spots. Her antennae are also green. | |
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jedi-explorer
Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474
Join date : 2011-12-06
Age : 36
Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Sat Jan 09, 2016 4:51 pm | |
| - Soroxas2 wrote:
- I would like to submit a giant slug girl to the mix. From what I can tell, there aren't too many. Her name is Opdogstra, she's 98'9" tall, and she's an opportunistic predator. She lives in the Jungle of Perils and is a fan of art should one wish to survive her if caught in her slime. She has dust brown hair and fair skin. Her slug half is dark green with brown spots. Her antennae are also green.
Not enough data! Intersting character from the surface details but what makes her any diferent from any NPC slug girl? You gave us no background details and you didn't put this in the proper format. Let me show ya two examples on how to improve this: - Jedi wrote:
Name" Rhonda
Species: Slug Girl
Age: 110 (Looks late twenties)
Sex: Hermaphrodite
Height: 115 feet
Slug body colour: Dark maroon.
Skin colour: Mocha
Hair colour: Maroon, a few shades lighter than her slug half.
Eye colour: Orange.
Other characteristics:
Now see? That's much easier to read, looks professional and best of all tells you a quite a bit. But we can further improve on this! See? Rhonda has no backstory right now but.... - Better Bio Example:
- Jedi wrote:
Name" Rhonda
Species: Slug Girl
Age: 110 (Looks late twenties)
Sex: Hermaphrodite
Height: 115 feet
Slug body colour: Dark maroon.
Skin colour: Mocha
Hair colour: Maroon, a few shades lighter than her slug half.
Eye colour: Orange.
Other characteristics:
Wears an earing made from an old Mustang-type fighter plane.
Predation: Highly Specialized
Food Category: 1-7 feet.
-Backstory-
Rhonda was born in the Boch and as such had to live a pretty tough life due to being born just a little above human sized and thus being on the menu of many, many of the residents who dwelled there. She was eaten nearly fifty times before her twentieth anniversary of birth! As such she decided quite quickly to be practical and sometimes a little cruel doing everything she can to survive even breaking taboos such as eating prey that is with child or children of her prey. She often says she takes no pleasure in it, but the truth is she does get something of a high off being powerful after living so long in fear she would be just somebody's escargo. Still she tries to never go so far as to purposely commit evil acts such as world domination and summoning demons...
-Personality-
As stated Rhonda is practical and sometimes seen as vicious entity, but she is far deeper than what others snidely say behind her back. She is not a heartless monster and does regret when she has to consume another slug girl for example. She's even let a few escape purposefully because she saw a look in their terrified faces that was too much a mirror of her old smaller self. She also have a strange fascination with lightning and thunder finding the phenomenon both frightening and frighteningly beautiful after witnessing a particularly intense one that set fire to a rock leaving molten pile of slag behind. She's recently started to try and study Storm Magic as a result and has ...produced results. For example she once managed to send a few small sparks fom her hand and make a rock glow replicating the event that inspired her. However her hair stood out for days on end. However she is diligent and hasn't been detoured from her goal.
I could go on but you get the point. See? Your bio described a basic character with a nice name and unique details BUT lacked the story to make us interested. ^^; I used just two of an infinite number of bits of backstory to make Rhonda go from unique looking to "Huh! Never seen a Slug Girl like her before." >3>; Unless they have seen one who can use Storm Magic and has a ruthless side that she herself doesn't like? Ah well then at least I got them to READ it. That should be your goal, young adventurer. Hope this helps. Now if you're going to say "But I don't know enough about her to write all that!" Then I'll tell you to read the wiki, RP and talk with others. All our OCs, especially Karbos, had rough edges but with new bios each time and sanding off of edges we got much more cool and worthwhile characters. If you need help from there? Ask! But honestly read about the Jungle of Perils and think about how she interact with the environment there and the fauna and flora as a start. Think about where she came from. Is she natural born like Rhonda or an offworlder? What makes her unique from other Slug Girls and if nothing then list WHY XD You can use absence to you advantage sometimes! I hope that helps. Rant/instructicating mode....OFF. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Sat Jan 09, 2016 4:54 pm | |
| I'll be honest. I didn't add more details simply because I was on mobile and it was dying. I'll add more details later. Thanks for the tip, though. | |
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jedi-explorer
Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474
Join date : 2011-12-06
Age : 36
Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:32 pm | |
| - Soroxas2 wrote:
- I'll be honest. I didn't add more details simply because I was on mobile and it was dying. I'll add more details later. Thanks for the tip, though.
XD No problem. I've done that a time or two myself. Tis why I started using notepad apps and such to write and save allot of writing offline then post it via phone. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:34 pm | |
| Do you know any of the flora in the Jungle of Perils? I couldn't find it on the wiki. I know the fauna and how she would interact with it. | |
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Archmage_Bael
Mara's snack
Posts : 4158
Join date : 2009-05-05
Age : 35
Location : Shatterock Caldera
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Sun Jan 10, 2016 11:22 am | |
| Yes we don't post native plants on the location in the wiki, only the native creatures.
You can go through the flora section and pick out any of the ones that don't have a specific location in its description, probably. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Name change: Ogdopstra Tue Jan 19, 2016 7:07 pm | |
| So it appears I accidentally misspelled her name on her bio, but I've gotten attached to that. Here is her bio. - Ogdopstra:
Ogdopstra’s Bio
Name: Ogdopstra “Oggy”
Species: Slug Girl
Age: 73 (Looks mid-twenties)
Sex: Hermaphrodite
Height: 98’9”
Slug body color: Dark green with reddish-brown spots
Skin Color: Fair with reddish tint
Hair color: Dust brown
Eye color: Hazel
Other characteristics: Dark green antennae, wears a necklace made from gems from the temple she calls home.
Predation: Opportunistic
Food Category: 2-10 feet, prefers elves and humans equally
Backstory: Oggy was born to a loving slug girl couple in the forest bordering the Jungle of Perils. She had a fairly normal life with her parents until her second decade where she moved out and slithered into the Jungle. Once there, she spotted a band of adventurers and tailed them to their destination, a temple. She ate them before they could enter, but upon entering herself, she noticed that the temple would make a fine home for someone her size and decided to settle down. She made her home there and soon met a rather artistic mage who not only showed her some of his art, but taught her a bit of magic with her slime.
Personality: Oggy is rather carefree and lazy from her upbringing, but that all changes when she gets hungry. She is well aware of where she made her home and knows that food can be snatched up at any time if she is not quick to eat it, so she takes a rather pragmatic stance to it. Oggy also sees no problem with eating human sized slug girls, reasoning that giantesses eat humans, some nagas eat small nagas, and so on, so what’s the big deal with little slug girls? Oggy acts as the de facto temple guardian, but she isn’t that serious about it. She isn’t like Anko where adventurers slip by her, but since she considers the temple her home, she acts like the stuff in it is hers to protect…or to give away should a little impress her. Oggy is an art lover both in drawing and in music.
Abilities: Oggy has started to learn to use magic to control her slime she secretes when she slithers giving her much more options from a distance. It isn’t total control, and she cannot add what she did not create, but it is quite formidable. She mostly uses it to entrap prey in a circle they cannot escape if they are not stuck outright. She can also use it as a shotgun to glue mages to a nearby tree or the ground. There are other tricks she can use, but that’s what she’s most comfortable doing.
Hunting habits: As befitting a slug girl, Ogdopstra is quite voracious. She sees human sized creatures as little more than food, especially since the other creatures in the jungle see them as such as well. Oggy is known for stuffing herself and if there happen to be leftovers, she sticks them to herself and slithers back to her temple to eat them later. One way to survive her, however, is to play to the fact she is an art lover. If you are an artist, she’ll usually let you live. She sometimes jokes about being a horrid judge for Rosic nekos since even if they fail the exam, she won’t eat them and may even keep one for herself as a pet.
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Danason
Tasty morsel
Posts : 6
Join date : 2017-02-20
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:52 pm | |
| I like the sound of her. Felarya can ALWAYS use more Slug Girls!
Signed- Katrika | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:18 pm | |
| - Danason wrote:
- I like the sound of her. Felarya can ALWAYS use more Slug Girls!
Signed- Katrika Try anything, and you'll be swimming in slime Signed-Ogdopstra | |
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felarya_refugee
Seasoned adventurer
Posts : 121
Join date : 2017-01-17
Age : 34
Location : Siren Sands Babeh~
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 7:36 am | |
| - Soraroxas wrote:
- Try anything, and you'll be swimming in slime
Signed-Ogdopstra Ha ha ha! I like this slug girl. She's got spirit! Slime-kenesis is a excellent magical power. Subtle yer infinite in variation. I also lIke her personality and how she is a squatter who took over a temple and thinks she's entitled to replace it's gaurdian. Lol That is bold! I like her nick name too but it's just as pretty long. -Signed Fel totally not flirting/ deceptizing while running off with a sackful of gems. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 9:55 am | |
| - felarya_refugee wrote:
- Soraroxas wrote:
- Try anything, and you'll be swimming in slime
Signed-Ogdopstra
Ha ha ha! I like this slug girl. She's got spirit! Slime-kenesis is a excellent magical power. Subtle yer infinite in variation. I also lIke her personality and how she is a squatter who took over a temple and thinks she's entitled to replace it's gaurdian. Lol That is bold! I like her nick name too but it's just as pretty long.
-Signed Fel totally not flirting/ deceptizing while running off with a sackful of gems. Kinda forgot who Fel was. But she doesn't call herself a guardian so she won't always care about the gems if taken | |
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felarya_refugee
Seasoned adventurer
Posts : 121
Join date : 2017-01-17
Age : 34
Location : Siren Sands Babeh~
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:33 am | |
| It's me. I am Fel! Short for Felaryan Refugee.  So what would she be most upset about comming up missing hm, Sora? | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 2:57 pm | |
| - felarya_refugee wrote:
- It's me. I am Fel! Short for Felaryan Refugee. So what would she be most upset about comming up missing hm, Sora?
Probably food or any art that she got someone to make her. | |
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Archmage_Bael
Mara's snack
Posts : 4158
Join date : 2009-05-05
Age : 35
Location : Shatterock Caldera
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 3:36 pm | |
| How would you suggest or imagine pronouncing her name? O: | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:56 pm | |
| - Archmage_Bael wrote:
- How would you suggest or imagine pronouncing her name? O:
Og-dop-stra | |
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jedi-explorer
Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474
Join date : 2011-12-06
Age : 36
Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Tue Feb 21, 2017 8:38 pm | |
| - felarya_refugee wrote:
- It's me. I am Fel! Short for Felaryan Refugee. So what would she be most upset about comming up missing hm, Sora?
If you want to be eaten by Oggy then just try to enter her temple. =P Heck parade around with whipped cream on your head! She's not terribly hard to trigger from her stories that I've read thusly. Also! Sorarox, 'lil buddy! I just saw a pic of Oggy you got done for supporting the Vore Fan site. Nice going! ^_- Hope you write some more with her. It's rare to see a slug girl as a reoccurring chraracter in Felarya. Pipril and her love interest, Timming 2's gals but not many others. So I am hopping Oggy continues to occur in your stories and develops a bit more. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:18 pm | |
| - jedi-explorer wrote:
- felarya_refugee wrote:
- It's me. I am Fel! Short for Felaryan Refugee. So what would she be most upset about comming up missing hm, Sora?
If you want to be eaten by Oggy then just try to enter her temple. =P Heck parade around with whipped cream on your head! She's not terribly hard to trigger from her stories that I've read thusly. Also! Sorarox, 'lil buddy! I just saw a pic of Oggy you got done for supporting the Vore Fan site. Nice going! ^_- Hope you write some more with her. It's rare to see a slug girl as a reoccurring chraracter in Felarya. Pipril and her love interest, Timming 2's gals but not many others. So I am hopping Oggy continues to occur in your stories and develops a bit more. I'm glad you read my stories. | |
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jedi-explorer
Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474
Join date : 2011-12-06
Age : 36
Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:33 pm | |
| I do. I think you have room to improve. You should do more than simple hunting things, add some slice or life and plot arcs in there too. Little things to help establish she is more than a sexy eating machine with made magic skills. | |
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Soroxas2
Naga food
Posts : 42
Join date : 2016-01-02
Age : 32
| | Subject: Re: Soroxas2's OC: Opdogstra the Slug Girl Thu Feb 23, 2017 7:46 pm | |
| - jedi-explorer wrote:
- I do. I think you have room to improve. You should do more than simple hunting things, add some slice or life and plot arcs in there too. Little things to help establish she is more than a sexy eating machine with made magic skills.
I might do that. I'll add the story of her meeting the one who taught her the skills and some kind of arc. | |
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