Storyarc 2 Project

I already got the plot down for the second storyarc, which I hope won't take too long to launch with all the stories I have to read. I'm aiming it to be the most action packed chapter in Felarya's history to date. It will include many of your characters, hence why I'm reading their tales. The plot goes a bit like this:

Sean and Lester finally returns to Earth, where they discover their hometown is sieged. They fight their way to the college where they are reunited with Marina, before she is kidnapped and transported to the same building that sent the two boys in Felarya. Fighting their way to the top, they meet Relegos, the mastermind of all this. Relegos reveals that he actually visited Felarya long ago, in fact, he stole DNA samples of the many races found there, and artificially created an army of humans mutated with such DNA. To make matters worse, he actually went to the past, via the sand of Akaptor Desert, where he acquired DNA from the "Jurassic" predators of Felarya. He began ressurecting these monsters via cloning, and send them to Felarya via a gateway to cause havoc.

Sean is pissed, and tries taking Relegos down, but is easily vanquished. He gives them Marina back, but the alarm indicates the creatures are ready to be transported. The three humans races toward the gate to stop them. Unfortunately, there was one of such jurassic creature guarding, in fact, Relegos tamed and trained him, making the draconic like beast (He looks like Ridley, despite not being him, he's a tribute to the badassery of the Metroid franchise.) It again proves to be too much for Sean, Lester and Marina. Kay appears and save them, then proceed to evacuate to Felarya as the whole army will crush them on the way.

As the invasion starts, many of the locals falls to Relegos' control, while he commands from Earth to avoid being intercepted by the Guardians. (I don't think they would attack another planet that isn't really involved.) Soon, most of Felarya is patrolled by prehistoric creatures that puts the current predators to shame, as well as mass produced mutants containing some of their DNA.

The four humans are left nowhere to run. Kay suggest to find shelter at the Jungle Bowl. While he leads them here, it is actually under attack, but not taken over. Sean and co. rushes in to reinforce the inhabitants against the mutants. Once over, they establish the Bowl as their temporary HQ, where they would begin liberating locations around Felarya. First, they must bring some of their friends at the Bowl for protection. Hilary, Caroline, Fiolla, Echo (slowly) and Betty arrives. Then, comes Misty and the three nagas at the Giant Tree, Hilary lead them here. Though Crisis is initially thrilled by seeing so many humans, Kay keeps her at bay by holding his sword at point blank range at her neck, telling her about the laws of this place and that he'd keep an eye on him. Veronique points up and will provide food for the predators.

Crisis says that the Giant Tree has fallen under Relegos' control and now serves as the main base of operation for Relegos' forces. Anna brought her machines with her and with Lester's help, they build some monitor used to coordinates locations on Felarya and issue orders. Marina turns out to be a brilliant navigator and relays information to the group while they are off liberating areas around Felarya. As they liberate, they "recruit" other people (your OCs) to help them in their cause. Near the end, the time comes to re-claim the Giant Tree, with forces attacking from four sides, while their trump card waits to take down the tamed monster. They succeed, then proceed to attack Relegos' HQ on Earth. However, the Great Dimensional Gate is surrounded by a barrier placed there by Relegos' minions. It is generated from energy towers at various location around Felarya. The group splits and take down the towers, while Sean, Lester and Kay are breaking through the Gate's defense lines. While plowing through, they are backed up by many "nations" of Felarya. The Negavian, the Crimson Maidens, maybe the Terrians to name a few. Once the last line is breached and the barrier deactivated, they send in their last resort: a saucer like machine to take them down. They managed to take it down, and the whole group reforms. Only Sean and Lester goes back to Earth, as Kay and the others are preventing Relegos' forces to follow them.

They once again fights through the tower and meets Relegos at the top. He reveals that he gave scientists working for the governement the technology to create dimensional portals, but Sean's parents were against it, so he had them be assassinated. The two boys are overcome with rage, and unlock one of their latent abilities. They fight Relegos in an epic clash. At the end, Sean and Lester are on their knee, but Relegos is still standing, though his hyper ventilating. He says he never had such fun in a long time and calls back his troops. He tells Sean that he'll leave, but keep watching him and says, "Until then, continue to entertain me." He activates the tower's self-destruct mechanism to take down prevent Earthling from using his technology. Lester and Sean has a vision of their parents, leading them out of the tower. (Star Fox 64 reference) Once out, they go through the portal before it closes. They are greeted by their friends who congratulates them of their victory. They are instead looking around for their parents, wondering if they are still alive, or simply a vision. Marina says, "What's wrong, Sean?" Who replies, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong." (Another Star Fox 64 reference)

After that they all explore Felarya were many of the "nations" cheers for the group's success, even the predators, despite the fact tommorow is a return to the time they will eat them. They all part ways, but will meet again sometime, then they start rebuilding Felarya.

I have a few characters I know I'm gonna use. I also want Ryla to be their trump card, I have an epic fight at the Giant Tree for her, in the style of Giant Monsters battles, and she will eat the dead monster at the end.

I'll read your stories first, and when I'm at the second storyarc, I will contact you more for the details. I can also make some part of the story like an RP of sort, to create more realism.

After reading this entire thing...I'm sorry to say this, but I seriously doubt this would even be believable at all.

I mean, your idea is certainly ambitious, but in order to make all of this work and justified you're going to have to work your ass off and I mean WORK your ass off.

There has been attempt at invasions before in Ravana's stories, I don't see why it couldn't work out. Plus, I got LOTS of free time.

You should know, this has amazing potential, but to make any of it happen you'll need to carefully examine the web of relationships and how all of these events affect them so that all the interactions go smoothly. Seeing as you've chosen to involve all of Felarya, that's going to take a phenomenal effort. With so many interactions to plan out, this is not going to be a task to be taken lightly.

Well, reading over it, I'll admit that this seems reasonably original.

However, I would NOT start working on it until I got a real mastery over the subject, as well as writing in general.

There's a reason most writers start off with short stories. It's easier and makes great practice.

This is just effin' HUGE. I would actually recommend approaching it as a collaberative effort of sorts, seeing as how it's just so bloody massive.

Basically what Mick said, but you also have to look at the time frame of this entire story. Whether it lasts a few months or a few years, the former being less realistic compared to the latter. Then when everything is said and done, why would Felarya go back to the way it was? With this event being so epic, a lot of characters are going to be getting development that will probably change them in the long run. No change at all wouldn't be very rewarding and it wouldn't be justified.

But then there is also another question to be asked: Does this story take itself seriously or not?

GREGOLE wrote:

Well, reading over it, I'll admit that this seems reasonably original.

However, I would NOT start working on it until I got a real mastery over the subject, as well as writing in general.

There's a reason most writers start off with short stories. It's easier and makes great practice.

This is just effin' HUGE. I would actually recommend approaching it as a collaberative effort of sorts, seeing as how it's just so bloody massive.

Heh, I'm reading the stories you guy made before doing so, you're actually next after The Jungle Bowl. Plus, there are six arcs before it even starts and all the stories I'm reading before posting another chapter. I'm not going to make the same mistake as when I wrote my first story. I WILL do collaborations, especially with parts none of my characters have much of a big role.

Daimo wrote:

Basically what Mick said, but you also have to look at the time frame of this entire story. Whether it lasts a few months or a few years, the former being less realistic compared to the latter. Then when everything is said in done, why would Felarya go back to the way it was? With this event being so epic, a lot of characters are going to be getting development that will probably change them in the long run. No change at all wouldn't be very rewarding and it wouldn't be justified.

But then there is also another question to be asked: Does this story take itself seriously or not?

Well, it doesn't go back immediatly to the way it was, it will take time to repair all the damage. Also, I'm somehow inspiring on mission based games to give it a plotline. Don't you worry, I'll be careful.

Mickilla wrote:

You should know, this has amazing potential, but to make any of it happen you'll need to carefully examine the web of relationships and how all of these events affect them so that all the interactions go smoothly. Seeing as you've chosen to involve all of Felarya, that's going to take a phenomenal effort. With so many interactions to plan out, this is not going to be a task to be taken lightly.

I'm not going to use ALL of Felarya, I won't include Frost Peak (Rin's stories are too involved in itself for the moment, it would be a sin to use her until there's a filler), Chidokai Forest, Evernight Forest and such. I'm gonna a lot, but not all of it.

I may seem hyped, but I'm preparing myself. This project won't start until I've read most of the stories involving major characters of Felarya.

Quote :

Well, it doesn't go back immediatly to the way it was, it will take time to repair all the damage. Also, I'm somehow inspiring on mission based games to give it a plotline. Don't you worry, I'll be careful.

No, I mean when everything is finished, what is the justification? What benefit comes from making this whole event happen? Predator and Prey allying themselves to simply go back to being at each other throats at the end doesn't sound right at all. That would mean the fighting was for nothing. That's what I meant by things changing or not.

Daimo wrote:

Quote :

Well, it doesn't go back immediatly to the way it was, it will take time to repair all the damage. Also, I'm somehow inspiring on mission based games to give it a plotline. Don't you worry, I'll be careful.

No, I mean when everything is finished, what is the justification? What benefit comes from making this whole event happen? Predator and Prey allying themselves to simply go back to being at each other throats at the end doesn't sound right at all. That would mean the fighting was for nothing. That's what I meant by things changing or not.

Let's see, there's a psychopath that raises a giant army to take over the whole planet, and possibly enslave or kill everyone. You could say they do that for survival or keep their freedom. If Terria was invaded, and the invaders want to wipe out both preys and predators so that none could harm each other, would they just stand there and wait for death?

Sean Okotami wrote:

Daimo wrote:

Quote :

Well, it doesn't go back immediatly to the way it was, it will take time to repair all the damage. Also, I'm somehow inspiring on mission based games to give it a plotline. Don't you worry, I'll be careful.

No, I mean when everything is finished, what is the justification? What benefit comes from making this whole event happen? Predator and Prey allying themselves to simply go back to being at each other throats at the end doesn't sound right at all. That would mean the fighting was for nothing. That's what I meant by things changing or not.

Let's see, there's a psychopath that raises a giant army to take over the whole planet, and possibly enslave or kill everyone. You could say they do that for survival or keep their freedom. If Terria was invaded, and the invaders want to wipe out both preys and predators so that none could harm each other, would they just stand there and wait for death?

I think you misunderstood what I was saying. Of course the Terrians would fight in order to survive, but why would their care about the...let say, the Jungle Bowl, the Fairy Kingdom, or some Giant Tree? Most Nations would only worry about protecting their own territory/assets first. From what you said in your TP, the nations are apparently going to ally with each other, but for what? Besides survival. And yeah, you can say the Preds keep their 'food' population, but prey nations lose out in the end.

Actually, they don't. It's just that Sean is determined to free his friend, Lester too, so is Marina. Kay just wants to shatter the plan of Relegos. They choose the Bowl as a HQ of sort because it's a safe haven in Felarya. Each nations are fighting for their sole nation, and nothing more. They don't ally with anyone. During the attack at the gate, they help because the enemy as fallen back there, all they care of is to take them down.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Actually, they don't. It's just that Sean is determined to free his friend, Lester too, so is Marina. Kay just wants to shatter the plan of Relegos. They choose the Bowl as a HQ of sort because it's a safe haven in Felarya. Each nations are fighting for their sole nation, and nothing more. They don't ally with anyone. During the attack at the gate, they help because the enemy as fallen back there, all they care of is to take them down.

Okay, that makes more sense then. Destroys a lot of potential development, but makes sense.