Silent Eric's Zany Ideas

Know what? This thread is just for me to dump all my crazy, half finished, off the wall ideas. Go ahead and pick out ones you like, and I'll elaborate upon them.

I'll start off weird, and we'll take it from there.


Found Cake

A delicious, delicious baked good that is found, seemingly at random, on paths and tree limbs and other such places in Felarya where a cake should most certainly not be, usually next to a mutilated traveler (surely the cake was uninvolved in the death). They are known to actively stalk people, always appearing right where they least expect, almost begging to be eaten.

Is the cake some sort of illusion used by a creature to catch it's prey? Is it actually some sort of carnivorous plant? Perhaps a creature in and of itself? Maybe a magic item created by some insane wizard? No one knows...

And here's one, inspired partly by Fish. And the Flying Squid

Flying Shark

Circling like buzzards, the Flying Sharks of Felarya are particularly common over Deeper Felarya although they can be found almost anywhere in Felarya, circling and searching for prey. Able to smell blood on the wind for over three miles they converge on spilled blood, fighting amongst themselves and whipping the region into a feeding frenzy of diving and swarming sharks.

Flying Sharks are naturally buoyant and therefore merely use their fins and tail to direct their motion, but it is entirely possible for a flying shark to rest in mid air. Given their frenetic hunting and feeding habits, the flying sharks have adapted to conserve as much energy as possible. As a result the sharks sleep for as much as 5/6ths of a day, often in floating packs known as Shark Shards, which can be seen as vaguely ominous black clumps against a clear sky.

In a surprising twist of irony, Flying Sharks hate water.

I have more, but here's the third one for now. I don't want to overwhelm after all

Goboids

A species of small humanoid creatures with scaly skin, clawed hands, and feathers on their heads. They reproduce at an astounding rate. Female Goboids have vestigial wings that can allow them to fly for a short amount of time. All Goboids are capable of speech, but speak entirely in curse words and innuendo, leading many to believe they are some sort of offshoot or subspecies of harpy. They wear little clothing, most of which is made out of sewn feathers and coarse cloth. Goboids live in large numbers in cliff sides and hills and typically survive by taking down larger prey in groups. It has been stated several times that Goboids do not reproduce sexually, but gender is nonetheless existent amongst these creatures. The actual method of Goboid reproduction has sparked much speculation (and some pretty nasty fanfic ). Goboid packs are always ruled over by a trio of elder Goboids. Usually two males and a female.

For some reason, Goboids are harpies favorite species to reproduce with, as well as their favorite food!

Okay....the Found Cake might be one of the greatest ideas I've heard of on this forum in a long time! I mean...that is damn brilliant dude! lol, imagine the fun that could be had

Traveller: *looks at the cake* DO NOT TEMPT ME WITH YOUR TASTEY GOODNESS, FOUL DESSERT!!!*runs away in fear*

or..

A traveller barges into the bar, haggard and obviously terrified. It was clear he had just gotten back from the jungle...and he had the look of a man who had seen things no human should ever see. He took a few steps forward as everyone turned to look. He looked around the bar...panting and swaying from exhaustion "...The cake...is a lie" he manages to say before falling forward and passing out from his exhaustion, leaving everyone present to wonder what the hell he meant.

(XD this is a great idea dude)

rcs619 wrote:

Okay....the Found Cake might be one of the greatest ideas I've heard of on this forum in a long time! I mean...that is damn brilliant dude! lol, imagine the fun that could be had

Traveller: *looks at the cake* DO NOT TEMPT ME WITH YOUR TASTEY GOODNESS, FOUL DESSERT!!!*runs away in fear*

or..

A traveller barges into the bar, haggard and obviously terrified. It was clear he had just gotten back from the jungle...and he had the look of a man who had seen things no human should ever see. He took a few steps forward as everyone turned to look. He looked around the bar...panting and swaying from exhaustion "...The cake...is a lie" he manages to say before falling forward and passing out from his exhaustion, leaving everyone present to wonder what the hell he meant.

(XD this is a great idea dude)

Thanks man. The Found Cake is definitely a lie. But what is the truth then? No matter what the truth is, the found cake is enough to give Admiral Ackbar nightmares.

Hey, here's one more. Because I just thought of it.


Horse

Possibly the most boring, but unappreciated creature in all of Felarya. Horses are pretty much everywhere, but nobody really cares about them, and rarely takes the time to speak of them. In fact, one Negavian was quoted, describing horses as:
"Meaty cars, with hooves instead of wheels. Wassits names? Like a goat, but bigger. Less tasty."

Horses are essentially the animal version of a tree. They're everywhere in Felarya, but everyone just ignores them. However, unlike trees, they are necessary to move people around Felarya.

The rare exceptions to the rule all have one thing in common: long and overly poetic names. Eulith, an elf, discovered a mathematical equation that proved that the more flowery and long the name of a horse was, the faster and stronger it would be. This theory is best exemplified by Mard's horse Blackshadowbeautystallionflamesilvermisttornadochestnutsea (affectionately nicknamed "Billy"), who was so powerful it once knocked out a giant naga with one kick.

It should be noted that that horses are completely and uncontrollably terrified of harpies and would "sooner plunge from a cliff" than stay in close proximity to one. This is the reaction of most mounts or beasts of burden, except curiously, the Donkey.



But that's an animal for another time.

The horse's description is brilliant. XP

The found cake is priceless XD

Can I use these? The Found Cake is incredible.

Thanks Fish.

Thanks Karbo.

Thanks Falcon. Sure. Let me know how you could possibly use Found Cake in a story.

I'm honestly surprised at the cake's popularity!
This is likely part of it's master plan.

Yes, the cake was a brilliant idea. It may be a lie, but it's an awesome lie.

I also gotta love the power of horse names apparently.

Alright. Here's today's batch.

Seegull

A giant eyeball with wings that fly around the coasts of Felarya. Created by Jeffryon the Pun-Lover, Gods Curse his Soul in a moment of peculiar inspiration. Most die soon after hatching due to their lack of any means of ingesting food.

Self-Conscious Clouds

The self-conscious cloud changes shape the moment someone recognizes exactly whom it's imitating. Village youngsters love to pelt the cloud with names and requests, while romantic couples laying in the grass find them impossible to enjoy.

I suppose this is some sort of elemental?

Kayeffsee

Kayeffsees are a species of jungle wildfowl native to various parts of Felarya. They have red and white plumage and enjoy tropical habitats. Over the years, Kayeffsees have developed a defensive adaptation that allows them to rapidly increase their metabolism so that their body heat grows so intense that they roast themselves alive. While this discouraged predators at first, later generations realized they had essentially discovered a self-cooking meal. Suffice it to say that they are quickly becoming endangered. The only reason they’re not extinct already is because they spend 70% of their lifespan copulating.

Guaca Mole

The Guaca Mole is a small, burrowing marsupial that resembles an Avocado. Its lifespan is often measured in days, as the approach of a predator will cause the Mole to mash itself into a green pulp. This more often than not results in the Mole being eaten anyway. Guaca Mole bites are highly venomous and will kill within seconds, although it is an almost impossible task to coax a Guaca Mole into biting you in the first place.



That's it for today, tune in tomorrow for more zany ideas!

There are two more on the front page that were cut off. FYI, y'know?

That's awesome.

Ok the Kayeffsee is having me laughing almost as much as the Found Cake now too haha.

All these animal food things creep me out. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A GUACA MOLE KILL ITSELF D':

Self-Conscious Clouds... mhh there's something really nice about this idea

Whoever said I'd only be posting fauna here? Any of my ideas go here.

Here we have the Scientific process of Felarya, devised and tested for ages by the greatest minds in Negav. It's used worldwide to further the knowledge of Felarya.

This isn't a metaphor for anything. Honest.



Science of Felaryal

Scientific progress in Felarya is broken into five stages, which are as follows.


Observation:

A person, be they adventurer, explorer or scientist, will notice something. This may be something never seen before, but more often it is something very obvious that was always missed due to Nose Blindness. (Take a person into a room. Ask them to tell you what they see. Keep pushing. Have them list everything that they can see. You can go on for quite a while before that person will mention their own nose, even though there isn't a place where they can look without seeing it. )

Ex. "That harpy has sharp claws."


Hypothesis

Given the observation, a scientist will now develop a theory to explain it. This theory will likely be the most obvious one to arise from the observation, in accordance with Occom's Razor.

Ex. "Those claws are probably used for slashing things."


Anti-Thesis

A second scientist, hoping to gain acclaim, will devise an alternate theory. Because the most obvious theory is taken, this second theory will represent an application not immediately obvious but nonetheless possible.

Ex. "They were actually used for grasping things."


In-Fighting

The two theories will gain credence with various groups. These groups will split into "camps"; members of each camp will feverently follow camp dogma while simultaneously denying any new ideas (even if backed up with indisputable proof) that contradict it. Because the two camps cannot tolerate each others ideas, they fight endlessly. Flame wars are common, and it is not unheard of for arguments to erupt into outright violence. The Anti-Thesis typically attempts to get its views taught in all the prestigious Felarya schools, despite the fact that they have little scientific backing.

Ex. "Stupid N00b. Every1 knows that clawz R 4 slashing."


Synthesis

Finally, the two groups will decide to resolve their differences through actual testing. Measurements are made, graphs designed, declarations signed in blood. A representative from each camp then ventures to the harpy to get it's opinion on the delicate slashing/grasping issue, at which point they are both devoured.

Following this, the two camps will decide that the best way to prevent more of their members from being eaten is to find a middle ground. The theory is thus revised to say that harpies used their claws for slashing and running. This consensus continues until an alternate theory is formed, and the whole thing starts over again.








Seriously. This isn't a metaphor for anything.

hehe this is nicely described XD

Demonleather

Magical leather made from the hides of demons and related monsters. Various legendary herbs and spices were used to tan the hide, which then had to be subjected to other dark and unspeakable rituals before it was finally ready for use.

The secrets of the creation of the fell fabric is lost to the sands of time, but it was reputed to grant to its wearer resistance to heat and fire, as well as the ability to find and command demons. Only weaker demons can actually be commanded, but while you are wearing demonleather, no demons may harm you, directly at least.

However this comes at a price. Angels will see those wearing demonleather as demons themselves. And God knows what holy fury they will wreak on them!

Galth Goodfellow, author of the popular book "To travel on the shoulder of Angels" In which he details his adventures with Lyre, a kind and gentle giant angel, details a time that Lyre had gone off the course they were headed. She went a mile out of the way to confront a 'foul demon.' Galth couldn't tell what she was talking about, he only saw a somewhat skinny man with a leather jacket. Lyre yelled at the scared and confused young man before picking him up and swallowing him whole. It was the first time she had done such a thing, and Galth, feeling a bit intimidated by his large friend, never mentioned it to her again, and she went on as if it never happened. After that last adventure, Galth parted ways with Lyre, no longer fully trusting her.

This one is a bit of a work in progress, but I think it has potential.

Lixi Stone

The Lixi Stone is a large dark reddish stone that is one of the few non-living materials in existence to actually grow, much like a plant. The stones are known for their great power to harbor and feed of pure emotions, then leech it back into the plant life of it's environment.

This is a common mineral on Felarya, and explains the wide variety of plant life that can be found. Strong, pure emotions can be found frequently in Felarya. The most common is, of course, fear from humans, and pleasure from predators. This odd mix of emotion may explain the many strange and wondrous plant life, as well as the deadly forms of carnivorous plants that are so prevalent in Felarya.

A somewhat popular book

So You've Become a Vampire

The key point of this book is that Vampirism need not destroy one's life. Although Vampirism brings its own challenges and cravings, Vampires can live productive lives just like anyone else. This book helps new Vampires cope with things like dealing with anti-Vampire discrimination, satisfying savage blood lust, choosing an appropriate cape, and hissing properly. Remember: Vampires are people too.