Felaryan tv shows

Here's what i think Felaryans would watch if they had tv's.

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Cooking with Sam Episode 1

*audience cheers as the fairy chef Sam steps out onto the stage*

Sam: Greetings hungry prey and preds mostly preds and please i swear to god if I see a pred eating a prey in the audience you'll be part of the meal.

*the audience goes silent*

Sam: And now onto today's show we'll be making neko's....Female of course *The audience cheers* into tasty treats, first a simple starter Neko kebabs, then we move onto the main course Roast neko and finally the dessert A nice cool Neko sundae.

*The lights go down and a total of sixteen bound neko's are brought out onto the stage*

*the lights then go back on*
Sam: And where back as you can see the neko's are ready oh so wonderfully unwilling to be a meal.

Sam: Now you may be wondering why there are sixteen well there's tn for the kebabs two for the roast and for for the sundae.

*The audience cheers and the neko's begin to cry*

Sam: Now before we go on i'd like to introduce my assistant.

*Ferona walks out on stage to join him*

Sam: The surprisingly hot and tasty and species confused elf FERONA!

*The Audience cheers*

Ferona: Thank you Sam *bows*

Sam: Now we'll be starting with The neko Kebab's so bring out the neko's

*Ten neko's walk out uneasily to the two*

Sam: Now if your a fairy like me the best way to do this is by shrinking them down like so

*the neko's shrink and Sam puts them upon the prep counter*

*The camera zooms in on this scene*

Sam: Now me and Ferona will first bind The neko's to these sticks.

*Ferona and Sam take a neko each both Tying them to a stick with ease*

Ferona: They look tasty at this size

Sam: That they do but were not done yet we still have to add the other stuff and then cook em

*The pair finish tying all the neko's to the sticks*

Ferona: Now you can add vegetables or other pieces of meat if you like to your neko Kebabs i shall be using the vegetables Ferona is cutting up now.

*The camera zooms to Ferona who is busy cutting up carrots, potatoes and other vegetables*

Ferona: There all done

*the camera shows the neatly chopped vegetables*

Sam: now you can add them to the Kebab's if you want you can make it so the neko's feet are resting on a piece of carrot like so

Sam: *puts a slice of carrot at the bottom of the kebab moving it up to the bottom of the neko's feet making it so it looks like a little platform beneath the neko*

*the camera zooms in upon the Neko Kebab*

Sam: and basically you can add the vegetables in anyway you like

*Sam and ferona set about adding vegetables onto the kebab above and below the struggling Neko's*

Sam: and there ya go one Neko kebab ready to be cooked

Sam: *holds up a finished neko kebab*

Ferona: mm

Ferona: Licks her lips

*Sam and Ferona both put the neko kebab's onto a fire where they turned and began to cook evenly on all sides*

Ferona: Now here's one of my favourite mains Roast neko.

*The audience cheers*

Sam: that is Ferona that it is

*Sam and Ferona both grab a neko dragging them out onto the counter*

Sam: mmm first you must bind there wrists together with what?

Ferona: Edible rope of course

*Sam and ferona grab there neko's wrists binding them together with strawberry coloured rope*

Ferona: mmm i like strawberry flavoured rope

Sam: now we do the same thing with there ankles

*Sam and ferona struggle to bind the neko's ankles together with the edible rope*

Ferona: hehehe now they won't get away

Sam: that's for sure

*The neko's hiss and one bites Ferona*

Ferona why you little

*Ferona raises her fist but Sam stops her hitting the neko*

Sam: don't hit the meat, gag the meat

Ferona: right

*Ferona and Sam both stuff Apples into the neko's mouths before positioning them in trays*

Sam: now you can add a nice glaze to the neko

Ferona: yeah mm a nice Honey glaze

*Ferona and sam begin to coat both neko's backs in Honey they continue until every inch of there backs is covered in honey*

Sam: and now to add the vegetables

Ferona: *has an evil grin on her face*

*Both neko's have sliced pineapple placed along there spines and cherry's placed in the middle of these. Then without warning they both shove a whole carrot into the neko's butts causing them to give out muffled screams*

*The audience laughs*

Sam: mmm smell those kebabs cooking

*The smell of the neko kebabs causes the chefs and audience to lick there lips*

Ferona: opens up the oven*

Sam: now earlier we set the oven to 32 degrees that should cook both neko's perfectly

*Sam and ferona both shove there neko's into the oven before closing the oven door*

Sam: and now to check on the kebabs

Ferona: *pulls the kebabs from over the fire each neko a golden brown colour*

*The audience licks there lips*

Sam: mmm mmm they look tasty now to let them cool and speaking of cool it's finally time for our dessert

*the audience ooh as an enormous dish full of ice cream is brought out*

Ferona: *sets the kebabs down to dry*

Sam: and this dish although tasty is actuallry simple to make just get the ice cream put in the neko's

*Sam and ferona lift the crying neko's into the ice cream*

Sam: now we add a wafer chocolate sprinkles and strawberry sauce

*Sam and ferona pour sauce over the neko's and ice cream then put on chocolate sprinkles on the ice cream and he neko's before adding a huge wafer to the ice cream*

Sam: There ya go

*Ferona takes the neko's out of the oven both are a golden brown clolour*

Ferona: ah cooked to perfection.

Sam; Well there ya have it folks a three course neko meal

*the audience cheers*

Sam: Tune in next time when we make stuffed Elf

Ferona: WHAT!

*the credits start to roll*

Voice over fairy: hehehe what a lovely show up next something for the kiddies it's the show everyone loves telenaga's.

I like the Elf part.

Hehe, funny. A Felaryan Mock the Week though. That's what I'd pay to see. (It's a show known for its black comedy and satire. And Frankie Boyle, he's made a headline or two over here )

Just a small movie trailer i thought would be interesting...

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Voice over Naga: This summer...

*Red eyes flash open.*

VON: Prepare for the attack!

*screaming and explosians fill a burning village with Naga's slithering all over the place.*

VON: there here for REVENGE!

*world war two style human soldiers march into the village shooting innocent naga's and children, Tanks roll in after them and run down several buildings while overhead bombs rain down.*

VON: prepare for REVENGE!!! coming soon to a cinema near you.

So Naga's have Sci-Fi? Sounds like 'Battle of the Worlds', Felarya-style.

*breaking broadcast message*

"A Felarya Express flight is heading toward your vicinity... It has NOT been eaten of its contents. For your own safety, be aware of advanced weaponry. We will update you either when the ship is caught or it leaves your relative vicinity"

Now back to our regulary scheduled program.... Felarya's Funniest Hunts!!!

OH NO TELENAGAS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the elf part.... heh heh heh...

Here's a little idea for Felaryan TV. The name is Wheel of Prey. Basically it's a game show that's hosted by a fairy named Lucy who makes all the people in the audiance, herself, and the contestants the same size (about the size of a human). Here's how it works. Lucy asks the contestants a trivia question about Felarya and the various species and specimens contianed within it. If you answer correctly you get to spin the wheel of prey and whatever species it lands on you can take home for dinner or something (and they're shrunken even further). Really you can do whatever you want with it. But answer incorrectly and the fairy shrinks you down even further and eats you. However because it wouldn't last very long usually in that case the fairy gives you protection magic to protect her meal from being digested and from the fumes. Then she uses magic to speed things up and leaves the room temporarily to take care of business (I'll spare you the details) and the show continues.

Okay here's my idea for episode one of Wheel of Prey.

*LUCY COMES ONSTAGE*
*AUDIANCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS*
Lucy: Thank you thank you don't applaud just throw nekos.
*AUDIANCE LAUGHS*
Lucy: Alright it's time for what will become Felarya's favorite game show: *AUDIANCE CHANTS WITH LUCY* Wheel of Prey!
Lucy: Today's lucky contestants are both very famous among many different tribes please say hi to Crisis the Naga and Violet the Dridder!
*Crisis and Violet come onstage*
Lucy: Okay so without furher ado let the show begin camera crew!
*camera crew plays theme song*
Lucy: Alright so the first catagory is the Chidokai Forest. And here's the question. How do slug girls subdue their prey? You have 60 seconds to buzz in.
*Crisis slams buzzer*
Crisis: Ummm.... they spit jets of saliva at their prey?
*dramatic music plays and Crisis breathes heavily*
Lucy: THAT'S CORRECT!! Time to spin the Wheel of Prey!
*Crisis slithers up to the wop*
Lucy: Alright for our viewers who don't know how it works and in case you neglected to read the rules this is how it works. You spin the wheel as hard as you can and whatever species it lands on you get to have. So go ahead and give it a good whirl!
*Crisis spins the wheel*
*the wheel lands on nekox3*
Lucy: Nice job Crisis you get three nekos! Bring 'em in here Jerry!!
*a fairy brings three shrunken and tied up nekos to Crisis*
Lucy: So just out of curiosity what do you plan to do with those delectable nekos Crisis?
Crisis: Well I'm not really very hungry right now so I'm going to save them for later.
Lucy: Alright then go back to your table and I'll give you the next question. This next one is in a catagory Violet should be very familiar with. Yes the next catagory is the Dridder Forest region. What is the most dangerous predator in the Dridder Forest Region?
*Violet slams buzzer*
Violet: Well that's an easy one Lucy. I happen to be an example of the most dangerous predator in the Dridder Forest region: a giant dridder.
Lucy: THAT IS CORRECT!! Violet come on over to the Wheel of Prey!
*violet comes to wheel and spins it*
*the wop lands on humanx1*
Lucy: Nice job Violet you get a human. Jerry bring in a human!
*Jerry brings a sleeping tied up shrunken human*
Lucy: So out of curiosity what exactly do you plan to do with that human?
Violet: I dunno. I guess when I get hungry I'll just wake him up and play with him in my mouth for a little bit.
Lucy: Spoken like a true hunter. Well then onto the next catagory. This next one is about my homeland, the Fairy Kingdom, and you must name at least four inhabitants. If you fail to name at least four or mess up then it's snack time for me!
*Crisis slams buzzer*
Crisis: Umm... let's see that would be fairies of course, magic elementals, dryads, and ummm... nagas?
Lucy: Sorry so close Crisis but close only counts in centaur shoes!
*Lucy shrinks Crisis and eats her*
Lucy: Well While we wait for the show to continue let's hear a word from our sponsor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vy_ENOBnBE
(the Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story commercial was meant to be a joke nothing more)
Lucy: Alright we're back here and this is the final question. The reward here will be tripled. So the final question: Is there a way to accuratly map Felarya?
*Crisis slams buzzer*
Crisis: It's actually rather simple. Because Felarya is a crossroad between dimensions it's very unstable and at any time something in Felarya could be replaced with something from another world and vice versa so while a map usually lasts for a little bit no map is completly accurate all the time.
Lucy: THAT IS CORRECT!! Crisis come on down and spin the wheel pf prey.
*Crisis spins the wop*
*the wop lands on humanx3*
Lucy: Good job Crisis you get 9 humans! Well that's all we have for now so Jerry play the theme song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0Czmz_irxg