walkingbyself's human characters

Species: Human
Sex: Male
Age: 22
Name: Deinal Seytr
Noticeable Traits: Red Hair; Glasses; Freckles; Book and Pen with unlimited ink and pages (Gifts from a good friend from home realm Velasi)
Brief Description: 6' 2" tall; white skinned with freckles everywhere; short red hair; glasses that are skewed to the right slightly; clothes the same tattered remains of a military uniform from the failed expedition lead into Felarya.
Personality: Friendly to most humanoids that are about his size (doesn't trust nekos as he had a bad start with cats in Felarya and imagines they are in cahoots with their larger cat cousins to get him), yet is always cautious around larger creatures. Helpful to those that he knows and will try to help out any way he can short of feeding himself to a pred. Also a bit of an writer trying to write about his time in Felarya so that some day if he gets eaten or dies whoever reads is story will know him to a small degree though whether they would believe it or not is up to the reader of course.

Likes: Anything that lacks the capability to eat him (makes an exception for Kota Altinia); Kalista the dryad that got rid of the cat chasing him;
Dislikes: Becoming lost (very easily done); large cats (read bio); Long winded explanations when a simple this does that will suffice (wait am I not doing that right now?)
Hates: Recatgalos creatures from his own realm that look like they were pieced from just about any imaginable horror possible with the odd ability to take on the traits of their kills (read bio)

Skills/ Abilities: With the aid off some powerful (yet experimental) implants from his own world Velasi. Deinal basic human attributes have been pushed far beyond normal human limits. But whenever the implants push his body beyond the human norm the implants tend to destroy his body from the inside out. A good example of this is when trying to lift an heavy object back at his home to test the exact capabilities of the implants the previous user tried to lift something weighing close to 2000 pounds or one ton. The previous wearer did manage to lift the object but the force of the implants exerting themselves on the wearers body tore apart his muscles and every other part of his body leaving a shredded mess where the previous wearer had been.

World/ Realm: Velasi
Tech level: Semi Futuristic guns and missiles are still the main ways of waging war. All vehicles are powered by reaction less drives removing the need for fuel and the explosive after effects of nuclear powered engines. Anti-matter weaponry is up on boards being figured out. Cybernetic implants a specialism of the Velasi are a norm as every person from the age of twelve is given their own set of implants and taught in their basic usage. As back in one of Velasi's earlier generations they foolishly tempered with the genetic make up of their bodies resulting in the state of which the people are now

While the human brain in an average person releases the chemicals to tell its body to begin that transition phase from child to adult called puberty the Velasi accidentally removed that capability and thus have stunted growth but countered that mistake threw the implants which provide the body with the necessary stimuli to start that process. Though there is a very high speculation that the distribution of these starter implants by the government forces the bearer to grow in their desired needs proof of this has yet to be found. Once the Velasi have reached maturity then they get the option to use the attribute enhancing implants. Giving wider range to what a person can do, yet very few have tried getting anything that doesn't directly improve their strong points preferring to mostly improve their current capabilities.


Bio: As a child Deinal grew up in a family of five other children and being the middle child gave him a respect to try and see both sides to every story with having to settle disputes between his siblings. Once he was older Deinal became apart of the Velasi military then by trying to make himself more noticeable and stand out from the others got himself selected to try out one of the newest implants available and still only in the testing phase. It wasn't long before he got a chance put them to the test as a week after getting them Velasi temporarily connected to Felarya and being apart of the military and controlling something new and untested was chosen to be apart of the expedition into Felarya. An expedition that was being lead by the kings son Martin an acquaintance of Deinal's as the son would constantly visit the base. And the son being highly patriotic thought that the military was the best way to serve his kingdom yet his heritage prevented that. But with this opportunity to explore gave him the perfect excuse to be apart of it and lead it threw the expedition.

The expedition itself turned out to be a colossal failure as the plants of Felarya proved to be highly aggressive and ate humans. Said plants were then cut down but they were unable to save the people. And the final blow to the expedition was when they encountered their first predator a Giant Naga! They had never seen a creature like it before and at the first sign of hostility they opened fire at it doing little to no damage to it. While the now very pissed off Naga went about demolishing the expedition and eating many of the soldiers until a retreat was called. And once the retreat was called it was everyman for himself. Deinal wasn't sure of how many screams he heard as he rushed back to Velasi but eventually they all died out and he emerged back into Velasi alive. But that would not be the last he saw of Felarya as once he returned he was instantly questioned as to the whereabouts of the kings son by the king directly and in failing to answer the king earned Deinal banishment to Felarya forever.

Banished from his own realm of Velasi for the crime of allowing the son the king of Velasi to be lost during an expedition from Velasi to Felarya when Velasi temporarily connected itself to Felarya by means of an artificially created portal stretching a more then ten miles in diameter. Left with nothing but the clothes on his back and a book a pen and what little military training all citizens of Velasi are put threw when they join the military at 18. Deinal's first days on Felarya were... hectic to say the least. Being chased by large cats that could easily eat him only to be saved by a dryad which ignored him an act in and of itself is odd enough for a large pred. Then having to watch as his own home town was destroyed by Rectagalos and being captured by a naga.

However not all is bad. Thanks to Felarya's greatest attribute at healing those within it allows him to push his implants further but will always remain weary of going to far the idea of being torn to shred's from the inside out isn't very appealing... Also managing to find a friend of sorts with previously mentioned naga Kota Altinia. Denial also later learned that the son of the king of Velasi is still alive though his heritage as a noble has gotten him into several messes from arrogance and Deinal manages to save him from being turned into Dryad food yet eventually manages to send the kid back home with the hopes that he eventually gets the offer to return home though he highly doubts it.

[Alright this is revision 2. Please tell me if this is any better. Thank you for any and all comments. Added a little more to the bio itself and gave a small look at his worlds history to explain the implants. Also added a brief description and a little bit of his personality. And again thanks for the comments please keep them coming.]

reason for edit 1 - not enough information
reason for edit 2 - entered in more information to bio and adding more information about character himself

Pretty bare bones here some things that your going to need to add are
Personality Please don't make them a Mary Sue
Likes
Dislikes
Hates
Notable abilities (example any magic, specific types of military training modern/futuristic/medieval , were they talented in any science fields. )

I would also add to your character description if I were you. The more detail the easier it is to visualize.

Right now there isn't much here to comment on.

Alright hopefully this is al ittle better now..

As stated, it's a bit lacking in the ways of actual description. I for one have an interest in his home world and think it would allow readers to gain a better idea of what sort of background he comes from and how that effects his personality. There's a lot you could do that would result in more material being writable to flesh him out as a character. That aside, what you did include was done fairly well. The whole thing about the implants is good, although I must question why they would issue all their people a set of things that had the potential to reduce them to literal shreds should they not exercise enough caution. You're on the right track and I can say this holds some notable potential, but it's just lacking sufficient amounts of information. Try seeing what you can do and I'll get back to you on the matter.

Alright second revision done hope this is a little better as well as more informative and that I gave everything enough space.