Elemental Wraith- Notyren

Seeing as my last attempt at multiple bios on the same page failed miserably, I may as well introduce my antagonists one at a time. And seeing as my page on the Element Wraiths ( https://felarya.forumotion.com/t2548-elemental-wraith ) worked well, I want to give my new "toys" a test drive.

Name: Notyren
Species: element wraith
Age: 2000 years (its a general guess, could use some suggestions)
Sex: Male
Height: 5 feet
Skin/Exoskeleton color: Cool grey, silver underbelly, translucent
Eye color: Red with yellow pupils
Other characteristics: Can shape shift into a living Razor wheel

Notyren is one of the five Elemental Wraiths that serve the Lunar dragon Notella . He is made of the dark leftover energy of an air elemental, kept inside a thin ectoplasmic shell. His appearance is that of a humanoid lizard with cool grey scales, glowing red eyes with yellow iris and pupil, long razor sharp claws and teeth and blades protruding down his spine to the tip of his tail. He is a savage animal, ready to rip apart anyone he encounters at any given moment, and because of his savage nature he can only speak in partial sentences, giving him the impression of little intelligence.
He is a master of stealth techniques and can strike an enemy in ways that no one could expect.
Because he is just energy, his shell is vulnerable to most forms of puncture (something like a sword or an arrow, a twig will do you no good). Once his shell is punctured, it disintegrates and his energy flies off towards a secret location hidden on Felarya that contains a special "revival crystal" supplied by Notella that can revive him; without this crystal, his energy would “poof” be gone with the wind.

He has a rare alternate form where his body becomes a razor sharp wheel about 4 meters across with an electric sphere in the center. His combat mode is sharp enough to slice most objects cleanly in two and dig underground for ambushes. In this form his only weakness is the core, but he’s traveling extremely fast in this form, so hitting him will be hard. However, hit him hard enough and he is force back into humanoid form, making him an easier target.



THIS CHARACTER IS AN ANTAGONIST FOR MY STORY ALONE, HE SHOULDNT MAKE A BIG IMPACT ON A WORLD ON A WHOLE, SO NO "TOO POWERFUL COMMENTS" Im really getting sick of that

I can't make a comment about "Too Powerful", since he isn't really striking power wise. In fact, there isn't much content for the character. There isn't any backstory or summary of his personality. I would hesitate to call him "Elemental" since there is very little description about his Elemental part. He sounds much closer to a typical blob monster.

Sean Okotami wrote:

I can't make a comment about "Too Powerful", since he isn't really striking power wise. In fact, there isn't much content for the character. There isn't any backstory or summary of his personality. I would hesitate to call him "Elemental" since there is very little description about his Elemental part. He sounds much closer to a typical blob monster.

the problem is there really isnt much backstory I can tell unless yuo want part of a felarya history lesson (which I have been criticized heavily on in the past, saying its not supposed to happen and they like the timeline the way things were)

there isnt much personality other than he's a servent to a warlord and a savage one at that..... Im only saying what I have before finnishing the rest of him and his group

It's best that you write a complete bio, like bonazaigirl did, or else people will assume that you were being lazy. For the timeline thing, this is a mistake that I did long ago and I can easily pinpoint the problem: his age. We all think that some ancient evil or person would be awesome in your story, but the problem is that the chances of such a creature who lived for more than a century, let alone two millennia, are so slim that it borders on impossible. However, backstory can be forgiven if you want to hold back on information to give someone a dark and mysterious past. However, personality wise, there is no excuse for not including anything. The core of a character is its characterization, like the heart of a person is its personality.