Crisis traps you and is REALLY hungry, what do you do?

Crisis has finally trapped you after a long chase, she has gotten hungrier by the second and will do anything to eat you. You have three seconds to decide what to do, and you have nothing with you(That also means no weapons or nukes people). That does not mean the only thing is talking your way out, you have to use your brain to get out of this situation. Remember, Crisis plays dumb to convince, then eats you anyway if you don't think good enough. With you back against The Giant Tree, think of what to do.

Post what you would do below.

First, why are you using the same avatar as Karbo? :O That's not very original. Second...

I think I'd have to ask her to give me a moment to think of some last words I want to shout to the world. :3 It shouldn't be about my fandom of L or Masamune, that's lame...Threats are cliche....I don't want to beg for my life, that's cliche too....Nyaha needs something original...Yeah, I'd have to tell Crisis my words of wisdom. ^.^ "Never let anyone tell you being yourself is wrong. Don't let other people's opinions about you change who you are."

"Wait! Wouldn't you like to hear a story first? I've been told I'm a very good storyteller. In fact, I've got a story in mind right now that I'm sure you'll love!"

Id just tell her the same stories I told her in Silver Scales, she loved those. XD

haha the same avy as karbo!

thats it boy!

A Bullet to the brain

Gamester466, I would indeed strongly recommend you change your avatar.

As for the question: I've sometimes wondered whether acting in a disturbing manner might work. Pretend to be mentally deranged. Slouch and groan and stumble around, and the predator may just worry about you being unhealthy to eat... Of course, to do that, you'd need to be sufficiently self-composed.

I've gotten side tracked just by seeing that avatar, it stands out and I often mistake you for Karbo until I see your name or what you post. Now I would prefer that you change it as well (thought about it for a while, but didn't say it) though when I think about it, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I'd be screwed if that situation came around. I'd just act silly, see how far that got me, and when it's time, probably switch to telling her about the world I come from. maybe some personal stories. I can sing pretty decently as well, might try that, but haven't sung solo yet.

gamester466 wrote:

you have nothing with you

Ahahahahahahahaha! You, my friend, do not know me. I'm actually working on building a gun into one of my canes presently (finding a proper trigger assembly is a bitch). Even still, at any given time, I have four concealed weapons and a lighter. I've gone to school with them (fuck the police), but only because I will gradually become more and more anxious and aggressive without them. If you actually manage to find me with no weapons, I am very unpleasant.
-Boot knife, either in right boot or in holster on lower right calf covered by pants.
-Pen knife, in pocket disguised as pen, duh.
-Dart pen, also in pocket disguised as pen, with small case for two more needle-darts.
-Cane (I have studied some tsuebojutsu, as my cousin is a master of sogobujutsu. That is actually him in the video.)
-Lighter, concealed in a pocket, even though I don't smoke.


Now, none of those would be very useful against a giant naga. However, they are very effective against a human. Namely, me. Worst case scenario, a pair of slit wrists is preferable to digestion. Best case, I would be carrying the rest of my usual repertoire, which I keep on me in case of life-or-death situation. I've never had to use any of these, except to test them. I don't plan to ever use them, but you never know.
-Glock 39 subcompact holdout pistol, .45GAP caliber, usually concealed below my shirt in a holster on my left ribs.
-8" Trench knife, in holster on belt. Usually worn openly, but the holster can be tucked into my pants for concealment.
-Homemade flashbang grenades, usually in pocket or coat, made from potassium perchlorate and aluminum powder, contained in a small glass bottle that also shatters when the flash goes off.
-Erythritol tetranitrate mixture also contained in small glass bottle, for use as an explosive. Also carried in my coat.

Many of those would be useful for at least shocking or stunning a giant naga. If I could fool her into actually toying with me before eating, I could possibly pop off a shot from my holdout pistol into her eye. A pistol isn't much use against a giant pred, but any shot in the eye is either fatal or severe.

Or I could just bluff that I have some tobacco seeds, and offer to plant them for Anna! That response is much less likely to make people suspect me of paranoia disorders, and I guess goes with your premise a little more...

ZionAtriedes wrote:

gamester466 wrote:

you have nothing with you

Ahahahahahahahaha! You, my friend, do not know me. I'm actually working on building a gun into one of my canes presently (finding a proper trigger assembly is a bitch). Even still, at any given time, I have four concealed weapons and a lighter. I've gone to school with them (fuck the police), but only because I will gradually become more and more anxious and aggressive without them. If you actually manage to find me with no weapons, I am very unpleasant.

and then stuff

Mental note: I'm going to call you before I decide to come over to your house. (the fact I don't know where you live notwithstanding)

another note: aren't boot knives illegal? as a matter of fact, any concealed weapon is illegal. I don't even think you can get a permit for a boot knife.

final note: it seems that avatar with m.bison over anko is spreading like a zombie invasion.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

final note: it seems that avatar with m.bison over anko is spreading like a zombie invasion.

Seriously, what is with that? Explanationplz? Someone? Anyone? It's funny and all, but why is it all over the place?

Remaining on topic, though, I've always got my iPod on me- ALWAYS. "How about some music? It might be a little quiet, but you should stillbe able to hear it..."

Archmage_Bael wrote:

Mental note: I'm going to call you before I decide to come over to your house. (the fact I don't know where you live notwithstanding)

My front door is not booby-trapped. Only the areas around my windows. Also, on the community map, the exact location of my house is marked.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

another note: aren't boot knives illegal? as a matter of fact, any concealed weapon is illegal. I don't even think you can get a permit for a boot knife.

It's nothing more than I'd be carrying over in Afghanistan if my goddamn foot hadn't bitched out and broke. Frankly, with my level of training, if I were to simply fight someone I could be charged with assault with a deadly weapon only due to my training in unarmed combat.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

final note: it seems that avatar with m.bison over anko is spreading like a zombie invasion.

I. Spread. Fads. Sunny Day, Homestuck, and now Yes! Yes!

I'd probably just accept that, no matter what I do, I'd probably just get eaten anyway.

It's not like she's going to listen to the story of a guy who's whole life has consisted of the same monotonous routine: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, do something fun, go to bed.

It's not much better on weekends. Despite having more time, somehow even less happens.

you obviously don't know how to manipulate your experience here on earth to sound interesting and different

I would tell her everything I knew about her then pull out my computer so I could find a neko camp and send her over there.

I would quickly resort to telling jokes even though they are not funny but I would end up cracking myself up and I would end up laughing manicaly, so that might save me by her thinking i'm not ok to eat. My jokes are that bad though...

What type of dog never barks?....

A HOT DOG!

I vote for talk my way out, because the only other option that makes sense is to laugh maniacally, and I can't do that. Evil chuckle? That I can do. Although, laughing would probably work if you got insistent about it and started demanding she eat you ("COME ON, EAT ME!!" "No! Get away you creep!).

Go crazy and tell her to eat me. Then possibly shoot myself.

I'd go all meta on her. "You are a manga character. Your actual home is a magical land called DeviantArt."

The thing is about insanely laughint and demanding to be eaten is she might think you're poisonous or something dangerous. You better hope that works, because you have a good chance it does. Crisis' mind can be easily manipulated.

I would run in circles,screaming "I'm food" with a maniac laugher,and hoping that crisis think that I'm funny...or get eaten after getting tired from acting like a crazy maniac...

I would congratulate her and let her eat me, just because I know it would have been a really hard chase for her and she earned herself a good meal in the end. Also I'm not creative when it comes to be fast, so I'd just let her enjoy her new snack.

But until it comes to that... I'll give her a really hard time

McKindle wrote:

I'd go all meta on her. "You are a manga character. Your actual home is a magical land called DeviantArt."

Dude thats about the quickest way to cause a mind fuck.... but the look on Crisis's face would be priceless.

i would pretend to be a sea cucumber

I has another idea! If she grabs me and if I have nothing on me i'll just bite her hand until she drops me. Then run away! Then come back and shouting this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3Bd6oA9sbI&feature=related