Interdimensional Madness

Firstly I'd like to see if this idea is actually allowed, basically part 1 took place in the Pokegirl universe where an unfortunate scientist from (an) Earth got stranded there. He's finally made it out after two years hard work, with a pokegirl in tow. Sadly, for him, he's missed his home dimension and ended up in Felarya. Is this kind of fic actually allowed because I know some forums are kinda sensitive about it?

Urp...

If I've read right, did you say pokegirls? Not gijinka, but pokegirls?

If so, you shouldn't. Forumotion is strict about sexually explicit content; it's not allowed. If your story is mostly adventure, though, you could get away with posting it here. Just remember- don't be explicit.

No fear on that front, he's only dragging a single pokegirl along and I tend to merely reference explicit scenes as I struggle to write them. Not to mention that pokegirl is a highly homicidal Mantis that's both his best friend and waiting for an opportunity to eat him. Which is rather in-keeping with Felarya I believe.

Well, as long as you don't hentai here, 'sall cool.


Jus' a couple things...

Spoiler:

Don't worry I understand all that. I'm mainly aiming to make it mildly comical, I just find the scientist and the mantis make an amusing duo. Well as there don't seem to be any objections, best I get writing.

Note: The Prologue is up. Sadly it turns out that the site Multidimensional Madness part 1 was on, fanfiction.net, has removed it for adult themes. Yet another victory for the gits at Critics United.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, and I do apologise if the style is somewhat out of place here but I was aiming for a sense of the surreal and comical rather than the typical vorefic found here.

Prologue

Alec stared at the dimensional rift in brief wonderment. Two whole years on this barren lifeless rock, two years of MREs, rummaging through junk and not seeing the sun and it had all come to this moment.

This was the third Earth they'd jumped to, and the trio had been damn lucky to get off it. The planet's people long dead in a nuclear war, in fact all life had suffered the same fate. They'd been fortunate to find anything worth salvaging at all, and even then it was only thanks to Leet, the AI had proven invaluable for locating the few surviving facilities and bunkers scattered across whichever god-forsaken country they'd ended up in - England probably.

He flashed his companion a smile she couldn't possibly see through the envirosuit he was now wearing. The young Mantis may have reasonable protection from electrical discharges but he didn't.

"Leet, safety check." He ordered.

The AI complied, relaying the status of the suit.

"Solar cells fully functioning. Emergency power 100%. Power 100%. Suit diagnostics fully functioning. Chemical analysis unit fully functioning. Integrity of outer layer, minimal. Jet boots out of fuel. Hydraulic fluid low. Coolant low. Inertial dampeners inoperable. That stupid oxyacetyline torch you had me rig up, fully functioning. As are all the other recent additions and all of the internal armouring, and I would like to point out that the fact you based most of your 'upgrades' on twentieth century comics is a recurring source of horror. If I could feel horror that is." The AI tailed off, concluding that the last part hard rather spoilt its rant.

Alec checked on Holly, the Mantis was waiting patiently, used to her lover spending most of his time arguing with the suit.

"Well beyond your mild squeamishness at what I've done to my envirosuit, can you please finish the check properly. Now armour checks. The non-impact stuff first if you please."

"Fine, fine." The AI grumbled. "Insulation, both thermal and electrical is intact. EM shielding is operational, though the lead alloy has been almost entirely lost, which means that we're going to be vulnerable to some radiation, but not ridiculously so. In terms of kinetic impacts, the kevlar weave is ragged but holding, the titanium shell still has integrity even if it's lost the micrometer thick diamond layer."

"So we're falling apart then." The scientist concluded.

"Indeed. Give it six months to a year and this is nothing more than a fancy suit of armour." came the computer's steady tones. "In which case Holly will kill you and eat you. Not necessarily in that order."

"If you've got it right this time then that won't be a problem." Alec pointed out, quite fairly.

"I would like to point out sir that it is nothing short of extraordinary that I've landed us on an Earth four times in a row."

"Leet?"

"Yes sir?"

"Shut up and go through the damn portal."

"Yes sir."

-

The exoskeleton stepped out of the rift with smoke pouring from it as electricity danced across the surface in an acrid yet dazzling light-show, the Mantis on the other hand crossed the threshold apparently untouched by the energies holding it open. Clearly the suit had seen much better days, a fact only further emphasised as once it had stopped smoking, it began steaming, thick, billowing gouts of the stuff pouring out of it in a superheated cloud.

"Status report?" Alec asked, this time his voice on speaker, the question as close as the group had to an in-joke.

"Just had to vent the last of the coolant. We got hit be a discharge whilst crossing the threshold." Leet responded in a careful monotone.

Finally the mist cleared from his visor and Alec could stare out at this brave new world. A thick dense jungle of truly massive proportion.

"Leet. You've got the wrong damn planet. Again." The scientist's voice rose an octave or two on the last part. "Still nice planet, at least comparatively, no nuclear war, no ice and, my personal favourite, nothing has tried to eat me within the first minute." There was a smile in that sentence somewhere. With a wrench of gear the suit turned to look at the Mantis, the insectoid smiling back for the moment, their supplies in the backpack she was wearing, which had turned out to be a very wise decision. "How are you my dear?"

"I'll live. Now can we please get moving, something about this place is setting my wings on edge." She muttered, staring up into the forest canopy, as an ambush predator herself she was more than aware that the prey never looked up, it was usually how they became prey in the first place.

"What is it?" Alec asked, following her gaze upwards and not seeing anything out of the ordinary, well other than otherworldly jungle.

"Nothing I could name. Now get moving." The 'girl snapped, following her own advice.

As the bizarre trio moved off through the trees, something moved above their heads.

Chapter 1

It was a sombre camp that night, just the three of them sat against the roots of a tree. The scientist, out of his suit now, still youthful if only just failing on the word young, and the predatory Mantis were snuggled together for warmth. It would have made an odd sight in at least two of the universes he'd been in.

Holly was snoring ever so gently, apparently recovered from her earlier jitters when, in the course of eight hours, nothing had materialised of any apparent danger. For Alec and Leet though, this was the time for talking.

"What do we do now?" Alec asked quietly, careful not to wake his girlfriend, or at least that was how he rationalised their relationship. "I mean I definitely can't wear the envirosuit any more, not without coolant. It's a deathtrap."

"Agreed. Unfortunately my current chassis has mere weeks left in it. At this point our positions shall all become untenable." Leet replied from the suit's speakers.

"I'm not sure untenable is meant to be used like that." Alec said, poker-faced. "I mean as a replacement for two of us dead and the other doomed to revert to an armoured killing machine."

"I was thinking of you as the survivor actually." Leet said quietly, the machine sounded quite sad, which was ridiculous as Leet itself was the first to dismiss the idea it had emotions.

The young man shook his head, taking a moment to brush a stray lock of hair from Holly's eyes. "You know I couldn't do that."

"I know. But I could." The machine informed.

"But you aren't as I'm giving you a direct order not to harm Holly except in the case of an immediate assault, by her, upon my person." He said sternly. "Anyway I'd make a terrible survivor, I can't survive on my own, Leet. She can. Who am I to decide if she lives or dies?"

"Your compassion is a weakness, it clouds your judgement." The AI told him matter-of-factly.

"My compassion is my judgement." Alec replied evenly. "Now to business. Is there anything we can do to extend your lifespan?"

"I can be uploaded into your nanites, this will require a large memory dump on my part, I am already prioritising files. I would still inform you that this leaves the problem of the Mantis."

"I'm not even sure she'd kill me anymore." Alec dared to whisper. "Now the unusually large trees, you have the results I asked for?"

"Yes the air falls within accepted Earth parameters for oxygen and carbon dioxide content."

"Magic then. Damn." He gently massaged his forehead. "And where you get magic you get magical creatures. This is going to be... fun." The latter word spat out with some distaste.

"Not necessarily sir. We've come across no significant predators so far and have seen no indicators of their presence." The AI tried to reassure.

"I didn't flunk Biology, Leet. I know how ecosystems work, they have predators; and with such a large forest we can expect them to be scaled accordingly." Alec pointed out coldly, not caring for the AI's attempt at kindness. Lies and half-truths may have been a kindness at times for those in danger but Alec, at least in his mind, and in one case qualified as, a scientist, pragmatist and realist.

"We have yet to see a predator in this forest." Leet pointed out.

"We've yet to see anything in this forest beyond insect, no primary consumers larger than a bloody aphid in eight hours. Doesn't that worry you?" Alec demanded.

"I am incapable of worry." The machine said flatly.

"Ok, let me rephrase, do you find, upon analysis, that this information indicates a potential risk to my safety, which you have been informed is your tertiary priority." Sometimes the AI could be bloody pedantic.

"No. Any predator is unlikely to bother us, we are well armed and fit, not in any way ideal prey." The AI observed.

"That wouldn't have bothered Holly." Alec pointed out.

"No, it wouldn't." Leet conceded.

"I don't know what it is but I could swear something's not right, Holly had it earlier, it feels like we're being watched." He laughed weakly. "Yeah I know it's got no firm evidence but what would you say to that?"

"I'd say you were right, morsel." said a voice above them.

-

Aislinn had been watching the humans from the moment of their arrival. They were... odd. It was the only word for it. Not that it had mattered to her at first, the naga had simply reached down to grab the metal covered human as soon it appeared only to be forced to withdraw as a cloud of superheated steam engulfed her hand, it had been all she could do to avoid screaming and even now, hours later, her hand was throbbing with red hot pain. But she'd managed to stop herself and not scared her prey away for some other predator to enjoy.

The woman though was slightly scary, the naga wasn't sure what it was but she'd seemed to sense her earlier, looking at her despite the natural camouflage her colouring provided, and the way she walked, it was like she was constantly hunting. It was a ridiculous fear, she was over thirty times the girl's size, and that was just in height.

She was almost glad her first attempt to eat them had been foiled though, they'd proven very interesting to watch. For example the armoured human had stepped out of his armour and the armour had continued to follow him. Aislinn had never seen anything like it before though by listening to the human she'd since learnt the armour was called an envirosuit or exoskeleton and was inhabited by a creature called Leet.

The man had also been surprisingly observant, not directly so, afterall he hadn't actually noticed her but he knew she was there in a metaphysical sense. She wondered how he'd react upon finding out he was right.

"I'd say you were right, morsel." Aislinn said, deciding to find out, and have dinner. She wasn't expecting the reaction she got as the human stared up at her in dumb-founded terror.

"Can I offer you a cup of tea? Please, join us for a while, I find it's always nice to get to know new people over a drink." He said, apparently taking the discovery that a snake-woman in excess of a hundred metres long wanted to eat him entirely in his stride. She found herself rather wrong-footed.

"No thanks, I'd rather just eat you." She declared, descending to the forest floor.

"No you wouldn't or you would have, now please take the weight off your... scales. I wish I could offer you something better, I mean as it is clearly a cup of tea isn't even a mouthful for you but sadly I didn't bring a cup big enough." And with that he stood, going to rummage through his pack and removing some things from it as he then proceeded to set up a portable stove, apparently ignoring the large predator.

"Why did you say I won't eat you?" Aislinn asked, the human's sheer nonchalance horrificly off-putting to the predator/prey relationship.

"Oh quite simple, if you were here to eat me you would have simply done so, clearly you're far more curious than hungry and will continue to act accordingly or else your curiosity will have been wasted, and curiosity is a terrible thing to waste." The human threw something into the pan of water and began stirring before sitting back on his log and waiting for it to boil.

"What's to prevent me eating you after I've talked you?" She demanded, annoyed by the human's apparent certainty.

"Because it would represent a truly ludicrous waste of resources and potential." He said calmly.

"What do you mean?" She asked, not quite keeping up with his reasoning.

"I'll try to explain but you'll have to tell me if I use a technical term you don't understand." He assured, "Now firstly it took eighteen years to simply train me to be a scientist, it took another four for me to get become a leading expert in my field. So training me took a lot of time and a lot of resources, if you eat me all of that will be wasted. With me so far?"

The naga nodded.

"Now I'm here due to an experiment by my people to try and achieve dimensional travel, again a lot of time and energy was invested and clearly the experiment was successful. But they don't know that, the dimension I ended up in was extremely hostile and something ended up going back through the portal and the lab was destroyed in a power surge." He sighed. "Now I'm sorry but it would be just wasteful to kill me before I get back home, I've got tonnes of information to get back with and some of it regards areas of science my people have yet to even consider. See why you have to let me go?"

"Not really. I mean what's in it for me?" Aislinn asked curiously.

"Well nothing. That's the point, it isn't about you, it isn't even about me, it is about everyone. It is about how I can prove most beneficial to the highest number of sentient beings. If you ate me then that would be a single sentient being for a very brief period of time. Let me go and I could do far better for others, and for you." He said confidently, pouring the tea and waking his girlfriend, whispering something to her. Whatever it was she reacted sharply, looking up and leaping to her feet until, the human gently gripping her wrist, she settled down and accepted a cup of tea.

"And how would you help me?" Aislinn asked.

"Well firstly? I'd give you a cup of tea." And with that he lifted the pot off of the stove by its handles and offered it to her, which she took, the handles barely big enough for her to grab without touching the pot.

The human smiled, realising at that moment that it had worked, they were no longer in immediate danger.[u]

Alec couldn't believe his luck. Somehow he'd managed to talk the giant predator out of eating him with nothing more than convoluted logic and a large cup of tea.

'Tannin and caffeine to the rescue once again.' The scientist thought dryly, sipping his own cup of the hot beverage.

"So you're a naga right?" He asked, looking up at their guest.

The large serpent-woman looked down at him quizzically. "Yes, why are you asking?"

"It's been an observation of mine that mythology of species tends to be reasonably constant across universes." Alec replied quietly.

"Really? Have you seen a lot of universes?" The naga asked.

"This is my fifth." He said with a shrug.

"Really? Why so many?" She asked with mild surprise.

"There's an average?" Alec inquired, the scientist surprised to find things could still surprise him.

"Usually somewhere between one and two, or at least that's what the ones I eat tell me." Aislinn told him bluntly, again hoping to make him squirm, though to no effect.

"I hate to say it but there would be something of a natural bias to that sample, if you consider that the more veteran traveller is less likely to be caught." The scientist mused, remaining consumately rational despite her efforts. "I wonder... Leet, would you say a t-test would be a reasonable analysis?"

"It would still be wildly inaccurate." The AI instantly responded, "But of the statistical tools available, yes, a t-test is best."

"What's a tee test?" Aislinn inquired, looking thoroughly confused, Holly also had a similar look of annoyed bemusement, used to the two scientists meandering off into the realms of nonsense.

"A statistical analysis used to test a null hypothesis presuming a normal distribution." Alec droned, as explanations went, it wasn't.

The naga looked thoughtful before deciding to pursue a different line of inquiry. "Why am I not eating you again?"

"Because we agreed you wouldn't." The human said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was technically untrue, the naga had never explicitly stated that he was safe from predation by her, it was more implied. Still he was reasonably confident in his debating skills if push came to shove.

"But-" The naga began.

Surprisingly it was Holly that interrupted, the normally reserved and timid man-eater wearing an expression of unusual ferocity. "No buts. You don't have any right to hurt him, he's done nothing to you."

"That's not much of an argument." Aislinn huffed, reaching down for the human to prove her point, then screaming as two long jagged blades embedded in her palm, before Holly withdrew her bladed limbs back into her body.

"Is that a better argument?" She scowled. "Cause I can do it again, and again, and again, until you get the point, or shall we say stop getting the points?"

Glaring weakly, the naga nodded, the blades had been quite painful when thrust into such sensitive and nerve filled flesh as the palm of a hand. She was also unamused by the slight chuckle from the human.

"You'll have to excuse my friend, she's just defending her meal." Alec smirked, finishing his cup of tea. "Now as I was going to say before our serpentine friend here interrupted, we are well and truly screwed this time."

This was met by non-comittal responses from his too companions. "We've survived worse." said the android whilst the mantis met their proclaimed doom with a simple, "Meh." then carried on drinking.

"I'm serious guys, we are in crisis!"

"Trust me you really aren't." Aislinn piped in.

"Trust me we are, I have been burnt, shot, stabbed, partially eaten, frozen, poisoned, electrocuted and once, I shudder to add, drained of blood, I think I have a full understanding of the word crisis." Alec burst out. This was met by stony silence by the naga until...

"I think not."

"Whatever. Leet help me with the stuff, we're moving, I want to see if there's a river nearby, with any luck we'll find shelter and succour there, somewhere warm ideally." For some reason this too evoked a small giggle from the giant naga. "Unless scaly here knows anywhere with a stable dimensional rift? No thought not."

And with that irate response camp was officially broken as they prepared to leave, their mythological addition watching in mild amusement.

"You do realise the nearest river is two hours away, and that's at my pace. It'd take you days." Aislinn said.

And with that tiny bit of additional information camp was officially unbroken as they put their things back down, Alec and Holly curling up besides each other while the robot merely stared balefully at the naga, its mechanical form just seeping annoyance.

"Take a step towards them and you and I will have a problem." It said evenly.

Aislinn laughed, "You're kidding right, he's the most amusing thing I've met in years, it'll be fun watching so see what finally eats him."

"I already have my suspicions."

Chapter 2

Mortis, or Dave as his few friends called him, ran for his life. For the first time in as long as he could remember he could feel Death's icy grip all around him, squeezing, choking as if in repayment for all the years he'd dodged the reaper, each bullet that had met vest, each sword stroke deflected, each punch block and kick dodged.

He ran, ran as fast as his legs would carry him, his unsought for companion barely keeping pace. But then a change in the demeanor as the fear drained out of him. Why was he running? Just because he'd never been this outgunned before was no reason to flee, he might finally die.

"Do you think you can get away?" He asked the soldier running alongside him, he'd not even had a chance to ask for a name.
"Once they see you there's no chance of getting away." The man panted.

Mortis risked a glance over his shoulder, two hundred metres and closing, and the dense forest was still at least a mile in the distance. "What if you had a minute or two?"

"Well yeah but-"

Mortis smiled, "Run, and don't stop for anything." And with that he stopped, two long katanas were drawn from his back as he stood there, waiting. He didn't have to wait long, just a handful of seconds trickled past, the giantess stopping in front of him, clearly not wanting to get cut by the blades.

She was a most impressive specimen, giantesses in his world seldom topped twenty metres, this one was almost thirty. Red hair, a healthy tan, and alas, like giantesses from his own world, a large appetite.

Cautiously he dropped into a fighting stance, "Well met m'lady." He shouted, unsure if he could be heard properly from such a height, "Now if you'll kindly leave then I will just as kindly not cut off a finger." It, probably wasn't an idle threat although he did have doubts about his swords making it through quite that much bone, though a joint would likely be a good point to sever an unwary digit.

"Now why would I do that?" She asked with a laugh, "You'll put those swords down long before I get bored."
"The sun is shining, the air is crisp and I can see my death in your eyes. What more could I want?” The tone was jovial and sincere, the smile that went with it even more so.

“So you'll put the swords down?” She smiled back, foreseeing an easier meal than first expected.

“Of course not. I said that you can see me dead, I did not say I would lay down and die.” He stayed low, knees bent, gracefully sweeping his cloak over his shoulder as he stayed poised. Ready to fight and die as soon as she so much as twitched forwards.
“Why not?” The giantess asked petulantly.

“It would make a poor tale to tell, of the monster who put down his swords to die without so much as a blow on his behalf. No my death may go unnoticed but it will be memorable for my killer.”

“You're weird.”

“Merely pragmatic, afterall dying is what we were all born to do. A pity all the really pithy last words have all already been taken. I don't suppose you'd give me a minute to think of something suitable?”

“Make it quick.” She said, allowing such an indulgence.

There was a reasonable silence as he thought, “How about 'Dying is what I live for'? No? You're probably right, I thought it was a bit lame too.” There was a weak smile from the man, “Maybe it doesn't have to be original.”

“Could be.” The giantess replied.

“I think I know what to say.” Mortis said solemnly, “I have killed, butchered, suffered and loved for over a hundred years. And I regret none of it, do your worst.” And then he charged, closing the gap with long strides as he stabbed forwards, trying to stab her in the ankle.

The giantess simply stepped backwards, easily making distance between them, then she reached down to scoop him from the ground.

Unbelievably the man evaded, a smooth backflip sending him arcing above the palm, the two swords making nicks in the tanned flesh. “Nice try.” Then he attacked again, to no avail. The giantess was simply able to move away at far too great a pace for him to ever close the distance of his own accord.

The farcical fight continued in this manner for a few minutes until Mortis tried to disengage, seeing that to continue would serve merely to tire him out, instead of arcing over or sliding under the grasping hand's path he stood his ground as he backed away. Clearly the giantess didn't have much a pain threshold as a sufficiently determined predator could have simply clenched the hand regardless of the deep cuts this would thus invoke. It's what Mortis would have done in her place.

“Give up yet?” He asked cheerfully.

There was an inarticulate growl of frustration from his opponent.

“As long as you let pain be your master you can't beat me, girl. I'm actually quite disappointed, I was hoping for a truly legendary battle for my swan song.” The swordsman going back to deathly serious in an instant. “Still good day to you.” With that said he backed towards the forest, swords held at the ready, one above his head, the other almost level with his bent knees, and the tips of both pointed at the giantess as he shuffled backwards.

He almost made it as well, the gigantic woman too cautious to risk getting close to those blades again. A scream behind him was the only thing to warn him, quiet but growing louder as the source drew closer.

The killer stopped in the open grassy plain, uncertain now. A single giantess was manageable at the moment but another threat, no matter how minor, would prove a fatal distraction. He couldn't fight and keep her at bay, it was simply impossible. Clearly drastic actions would prove necessary before whatever this was made an appearance.

“I'm about to put the swords away, don't grab me, I can draw them before your hand gets half-way.” Mortis stated firmly, putting his swords away and drawing a pair of semi-automatic handguns from their hip holsters, loading them with ease with the magazines on his belt, carefully selecting ones with a red stripe down the middle. “I would also like to warn you that these are explosive rounds, now I doubt they will be fatal should I aim for your head, your skull's too thick if past experiences count for anything, but they will shred soft tissue so if you like walking I suggest you stay away.” Again the voice of cold calm authority stated with sublime confidence, these weren't threats, weak and flimsy, or bluffs to be called, they were simple facts.

The giantess obeyed, not liking the steely look of dispassion those grey eyes kept directing at her. She wondered if that's her gaze seemed to her prey, eyes that could see you dead...

Another giantess emerged from the forest a vibrant brunette and in her hand was the soldier that had escaped.

Mortis shook his head with mild disappointment, “It really isn't your day is it?”

“Help me!” The soldier shouted predictably. “Come on man, do something!”

“What would you have me do, there is nothing in my arsenal that can kill them, nor can I rescue you without losing my own method of escape.” Mortis replied calmly, sighing internally as he realises his mistake and thus amending it by adding, “though I will inflict agony on whomsoever is foolish enough to attack me.” Neither giantess seemed to want to test the theory, especially when one of them had already caught a meal.

“I have children.” The soldier pleaded as if that would change the verdict.

“My condolences.” Mortis said simply, looking up at the two colossal beings. “I'd like to take my leave now. Don't chase me.” After all he only had six shots in his grapplers, best not to waste them if at all avoidable.

The two glanced down at him, then shook their heads, the little psychopath simply wasn't worth the effort.

Grateful, Mortis retreated – at a run.