Iv just finished my draft for a story accompanying my Grendel vs Chelsa illustration on my DA, its a more humorous peice than anything else featuring gorgers squamataur Grendel and a new vhiyra oc from myself. you can find out a bit more about the vhiyra on my DA as well.
iv sent it to Gorger as well for his opinion and discussed the general concept from before through the illustration
and i have to get in contact with moonlight-pendent for my refrence to Jas
and ambrose-euanthe for reference to the rosic neko village sea krait naga
illustration
http://string-fountain.deviantart.com/art/Felarya-Grendel-and-Chelsa-382951800
this is my first time writing narratively in quite some time so im probably in need of some pointers, so any feedback or constructive criticism is greatly appreciated
. as well as any advice on Felaryas construction that i may have used improperly or missed out on.
STORY
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The late morning sun shines pleasantly on the pure white beach of the south torpaline coast, the majesty of frost peak towers mightily far in the distance. The skies dotted by a few pleasant clouds and the air is idyllically warm. "Wonderfull day for fishing!" Is what a local group of nekos were thinking as they came marching out of the jungle, with a great degree of caution as always. But there's usually not too much to worry about on this beautifull beach at this time of Felaryas cycle when the Arthronodes were out at sea spawning. You might just bump up on a friendly sea krait naga or Estuarine mermaid, the shallows of the beaches extensive sands making it difficult for the bigger mermaids and aquatic predators to reach the shore easily. But Oh how wrong those assumptions would prove today.
As the group made their way to the shore, passing one tiny straggling Arthronode that quikly retreated in their presence. They felt quite assured of their dominance here today. An all too rare feeling anywhere in Felarya. One neko had already readied his rod and was in the middle of a cast when off in the distance... POW CRASH! Somthing massive came leaping down from a particularly giant tree and charging out from the cover of the forest, its thunderous stride alone sending a shoreline tree flipping from its roots, through the air and into the sea.
With a grissly grin on its face the thing came racing down the beach with a roar. The nekos had already begun to scamper panic stricken back towards the tree cover. But in a flash of black and orange were cut off by a massive mountain of a tail. landing with such speed and power in their path the following wind nearly blew the cat people flat on their backs.
With already horror stricken countenances, the trembling nekos turned behind them to behold the massive hulking behemoth towering far above them. Its four legs thick like great tree trunks with its lizard like feet bearing nightmarishly long claws. Up beyond its scaled lower half stood a grotesque humanoid torso. Its stomach distended and unshapely yet its arms and chest mighty with sinewy muscle. Dosens of scars and blotches adorning its skin, a clear tribute to the feral life of this creature.
It wouldn’t be thought possible but the faces of the nekos, already distorted with horror contorted even further when their gaze caught the creatures glaring face. His smile unnaturally wide, lined with sharp teeth comparable in length to one of their own arms, a disgusting red slime oozed from between them and drizzled down his chin. Tje creatures eyes were wide with a most daunting combination of madness and glee, their pupils afixed on the diminuative goup of nekos.
“G..Grendel….” Uttered one neko in a tone so shrinking and ghastly,it was as if he had breathed his last in the utterance of that name . In speaking this the terrible truth of who this giant squamataur was struck the entire group. Having heard the rumors of the horrific demon that brought equal fear into many a giant predator and small humanoid alike his legacy was one they had never wished to become a part of. Grendel was one of felaryas true nightmares known for not just swallowing small creatures whole as the norm, but actually rending the flesh of his prey, small or large to pieces. It was said that he had even tore apart a giant centaur who had once been his friend. Even in the brightness and beauty of the tropical coast there was no hope in the shadow of such mass and savagery as this and the nekos stood frozen with fear.
“ Nothing but snivelling Whaqas all of you !” Growled the beast with an heir of satisfaction. He seemed to be already feasting on the fear emanating from the trapped cat people and looked almost hesitant to devour them and end this delicious atmosphere. His smile just grew and grew as the tension rose revealing tooth after deadly tooth, his mouth now overflowing with red slime.
One neko snapped himself from his fear fueled paralysis and in a desperate sprint attempted to run through the slight opening between the end of the beasts tail and front leg. A chase,a fight! Yes! This is what Grendel had been waiting for! Thinking to himself that There could be nothing nothing worse than submissive or begging prey sitting there like vegetables to be picked.
He threw himself forward wildly, down towards the now shreaking group, mouth open and his claw-like hands ablaze in an all out assault. His open mouth just a few feet from gobbling up his prey, Grendel felt something materialize out of the sandy shore, tightening itself around his hind legs and wrapping around his torso with lightning speed. In an instant his body was yanked backward into the sea, his face slamming into the hard, wet sand of the shore with his arms just out of reach of the nekos. Nearly knocked out by the force of the impact he lay motionless in the sand . He felt the snake like form wrapped around his body begin to rub across his scales and skin with great haste. The thing was heading toward HIS NEKOS. “It’s That damn naga!" The conclusion jumped into his mind " Protecting those weaklings! IM GOING TO TEAR HER TO SHREDS!" He burst forward from the beach in a blind fury, his demonic smile now replaced by a full blown scowl and his eyes nearly bursting from their sockets with rage.
So great was his fury that he hadnt even noticed the screams had continued even after he had been temporarily incapacitated, and the truth was about to be made obvious. The massive form before him was female, but , definatly not a Naga. The scene was definatly not the one of protection he had been expecting, the creatures lips were closed around a neko tail and her cheeks were bulging with muffled cries were emanating from within. In her hand were three other flailing screaming nekos. Her massive humanoid torso was nearly as big as his own and was laid back on the smaller palms on the jungles border, their trunks creaking under her huge body. From each of her ears extended a thick, long tube, which ended in two huge pincer like claws, a dull but almost steely grey in color .Her body beneath her torso a deep dark blue and long and snake-like for sure, but actually resembled more a giant worm than anything else, the entire length in Grendels view lined with frills down the sides. Her pale pinkish face framed with extremely long and equally messy dark blonde almsot irridescant hair soaked in seawater.
Head tilted slightly upward she was staring right down her rigid pointed nose at him with her narrow hazel eyes in a condescending expression. Eyes still fixed on him she sucked in the nekos tail and tilted her head back slightly, her cheeks deflated and she swallowed the whole lot in her mouth in a single go. Her lips parted in a huge grin, nearly as demonic as Grendels own, revealing one jagged surface instead of teeth on both her top and bottom jaw the exact same steely color as her claws.
“have a nice nap buddy?” She said smugly through her smile “yeesh that is not the first face I want to see in the morning” she continued, whipping the insult with utter carelessness. Grendel’s Initial surprise and shock at both being dragged down and meeting this weird creature were now passed. And his rage was building intolerably at her attempts to humiliate him.
He lunged forward once again. but her worm body, still coiled around him flexed with a huge pressure pushing out all his breath and held him at a distance. Unmoved by his attempt she continued smiling with her eyebrows lowered deviously. Thinking that this show of power was enough to deter this creature the worm thing laughed to herself. “ Now im going to let you go and you better get going k? Ya? Good. ” she said, snapping her pincers at him then non-chalantly plucking one neko from her hand with the other and raising the squealing treat toward her mouth “I want to enjoy the rest of these without that mangled face of yours barking at me!” she finished her thought as the neko touched her extended tounge.
The utter dismissal and humiliation she insisted on dolling out was driving itself deep within the recesses of Grendels mind, awakening his most dispised and terrible memories and with them came forth all his hatred and rage of the past towards the female sex. For him, the confrontations goal of attaining food was quickly being replaced with one deeply personal. He had tried to be patient with most females, but this one! This one! It was like the essence of his own disdain had poured out and manifest in this creature!
Rage saturating his every muscle he grabbed the worm portion of her body in front of him , sinking in his teeth and long hard fingernails. “Hey! Ouch! Gross! Back off! The worm woman cried angrily. The clawed tubes coming off her ears came alive and she launched the deadly pincers at Grendels neck. But barely into her reaction she found herself yanked from her position and being swung through the air, jerking her claws off their projected course. Grendels bite had caused her to loosen her constriction for a second and he had speedily and broken free. He was now swinging her further and further around himself by her long worm body, turning his body round and round, anchoring every step with his great might into the sand.
On the second turn the nekos went flying from The worm woman's hand into the ocean. By the fifth turn the wind of her passing was like a hurricane violently wracking the low treetops. On the eigth turn nearly her entire 500 foot body was in the air, Grendel now gripping his claws into the very end of her tail, his roar piercing the air like thunder. Limp and dizzy the worm woman was entirely helpless in her flight and the smugness of her expression was now replaced with stunned suprise. Now only hoping that she would be tossed into the ocean rather than into the dryness of the sticking jungle treetops.
With one last heave Grendel whipped her around once more, she felt his preparation and braced herself, and on the twelfth turn Grendel launched her through the air and out towards the open sea she went, chased by Grendels most fearsome roar yet. Her body seeming to nearly scrape the low hanging clouds as she went flipping through the air, landing with an explosion like crash nearly half a mile from the beach. The splash of her plunge going so high and far that a light drizzle fell on the beach.
Grendel stood there breathing heavily, his eyes still wide with madness and teeth still bared as he watched the ocean intently for any sign of her returning. The almost tidal wave of her impact washed up on the shore and still there was no sign of her. The minutes past and Grendel who had now waded out into the ocean had slightly calmed his nerves. Just wandering now why he hadnt thrown that nightmare into the jungle instead of releasing her to the sea. Well it seemed she was gone now and Grendel was hungrier than ever from the Tussle.
Now that his rage was mostly subsided and his more acute senses returned, he noticed one of the nekos that had gone flying swimming back to shore nearby. Well it wasn’t the meal he would have gotten but it would be something untill he could get some real hunting done. Bounding through the shallows he approached the now frantic morsel, when suddenly under the water a long dark shadow swam speedily past him and the neko disappeared under the waves.
All the freshly departed rage and frustration came rushing back as that same metalic smile popped up in front of him. “Hey guy! You want this?” Said the same agitating voice, as the hated worm woman stood her torso up and dangled the neko by its tail in front of him. “GRAHHHH!” Is all she got in return as Grendel charged her, but to no avail as she quickly swam away just enough to keep the distance between them. “Man you’re strong to chuck me like that, it was actually pretty interesting to know how it feels to be a harpy…never felt anything like that before, that's for sure. ”her own mention of this creaturs strength seemed to remind her of somthing and she paused as a conclusion darted through her mind. “Wait I know who you are! Grendel right?”.
Grendel just ignored her conversation and kept trying to pounce on her, but only to be evaded. Entirely ignoring his anger she just continued on In her mock friendlyness “Well I guess that’s no surprise to you, me knowing your name, almost everyone on this continent probably knows of the wandering demon Grendel… you going around munching everyone and what not.”. Grendel, growing angrier every moment propelled himself forward through the water with his tail and nearly managed to claw her in the face “Whoah! Ok guy! your pretty tough ill give you that” she said, slightly unnerved. “But the “handsome Beast” Grendel?! I don’t know about that. That Jas sure is something else! And is tossing girls through the air always your idea of a romantic gesture?”
Grendel finally slowed his assault on the creature. “You know Jas?” he questioned threateningly, still with a grumbling angry voice. “Ya I do. And I probably should have expected you to be such a guy judging by how that selachi is, you two are truly savage!” she ended with a laugh. The neko in the worm woman’s hand was now quite quiet, hoping the conversing giants would forget her presence there and she might get dropped into the water.
Grendels slight curiosity about the worms connection to Jas was quickly lost as he once again became more annoyed at her heir of superiority. The creature’s constant underhanded jabs were really getting to him and that last savage comment wasn’t helping. It was an essentially true point and he was quite proud of it, but the fact that this nuisance was getting away with saying and thinking whatever she wanted without him being able to lay into her with his teeth was driving him insane.
“JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY YOU SLIMY FIFTH BEFORE I GET MY TEETH IN YOUR NECK!” roared Grendel, lurching towards her as fast as he could this time with his fierce teeth forward. A look of excited defiance passed over the worm woman’s face as she backed up once again. “Finally talking some eh? Heh, same to you pal, you grab my tail again and ill snip yours right off” she threatened almost playfully, smiling her widest and rearing her pincers once again toward Grendel. “and you better wipe your mouth before you go around calling other people slimy, just a suggestion.” she retorted mockingly. “But really.“ she started again “you gotta seriously chill out guy.”.To this Gendel just roared viciously. “Fine, ya! whatever, i'm going! But this neko is mine too, I didn’t come all the way over here to not eat what I came for” she replied teasingly as she retreated further and further away from Grendel "If anyone should be pissed its me! Hiding in the sand all morning only to have to fight you for my breakfast. "
The dangling nekos hopes of being dropped were dashed as her role as food came up and looking at the slight bulge in the giant predators belly where her friends now were struck her with renewed horror. and she instantly broke her silence. “wiat wait! I uhh …umm ..aahh.., sea apes! what about those? they’re sort of like us! Except stupider!..and fishy.." The neko ended weakly, sacrificing her argument for prides sake of not being compared to a sea ape. Quickly attempting to save her reasoning she blurted out hopefully "They probably taste just as good!”. The worm woman glared down at the neko, slightly annoyed and burst into a rant “Ok, I live in the ocean, you don’t think iv eaten sea apes before, I sometimes I have to eat those for days! And I can tell you, they get old fast. I wanted to mix it up some today alright?! Look I don't eat y'all often so relax okay! And plus I had to swallow your buddies way too quickly to get any taste out of them because of my new friend over there.”. The worm woman looked up at Grendel who was still listening and watching her leave with angry suspicion. "Oh and Grendel, if you see that Jas and her buds tell her Chelsa said to get themselves over to the basalt coast I haven’t seen em in ages! I don't know where the heck they've gone to! ” The request was whipped just as carelessly as everything else she had said and Grendel just kept scowling as she continued swimming away.
The worm woman who called herself Chelsa returned her attention back to the neko who was still chattering incesantly trying to come up with a good excuse to not go down her throat. “alright you get it? You good?” Chelsa asked insincerely, cutting her prey off. “what?! NO! what the heck I'm not GOOD! Shouted the neko, enraged by the passivity of the giant towards her life. " I mean ..uhh please Chelsa..I” Catching herself the neko tried to sound endearing for a moment in using her captors newly discovered name, which, from the look on the giants face had just annoyed Chelsa further.
After a moment of skewing her face at the annoyance Chelsa returned to her more immovable predatory self, obviously done with talking. " Yeh you're good. ok bye!" Chelsa said, seemingly to herself in a now cheerful and expectant tone, licking her lips slightly. Sensing that she had most certainly screwed herself over as she was raised to Chelsas parting lips and teeth and now staring down into the cavernous, dark and fleshy abyss of the giants throat, The neko abandoned any sort of coherency and grasped desperately through her panic for something to give her an edge. ” You better not eat me! or our naga is going to lay such a beatdown on… ahhh!” . Her threat was cut off mid sentence as Chelsa licked her into her open mouth.
Down from within Chelsa’s throat and echoing in her mouth the now trapped neko was hit with a booming response “Do I look like I’m afraid off some sea krait!?” Every movement of her tongue sending the poor prey tumbling. Her lips and steely plate like teeth opening only slightly to form the words gave the soon to be food inside a last view of the sunny tropical coastline. Then closed quickly, sealing the tasty treat inside with a sigh of satisfaction.
A Worn and agitated Grendel watched as. the pain finally disappeared beneath the waves, of the open sea, the stupid thing had cost him his catch, but he was more than relieved to see her gone. Now it was finally peaceful, but he had eaten nothing all morning and angrily turned to head back to shore to resume his hunt.
“Hey Grendel…(gulp)” she paused to swallow. “catch!” Chelsa’s voice shouted in the distance. The warning was too late however as Grendel got hit in the back of the head with a thirty foot whale. Flinching only slightly from the blow, He turned to see a stunned whale drifting in the water, Grendel looked down at the offered meal and groaned with disdain.
Back on shore two nekos pulled themselves exhausted from the sea with wide eyed half traumatized expressions on their faces. sauntering uneasily as quickly as possible for the tree cover.
Subject: Grendels second aquatic encounter- Chelsa 
Tue Jul 16, 2013 11:09 am
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