Phantom Succubi

A reclusive race of Succubi leaving in the gloomiest and creepiest areas of Hell; Phantom Succubi are not very numerous in Hell, or anywhere for that matter. They are quite an oddity among demons for that matter.

<b><u>Appearance</u></b>

Phantom Succubi look like shadowy ghosts of Succubi. They have very dark tones, the most common being gray. This applies for the skin, the hair, and the eyes. This is what they appear for most supernatural creatures such as demons and angels. For mortal creatures, they still retain their Succubus appearance, but the mortal will see the most beautiful creature he will ever see, shaped like a succubus of course. Phantom Succubi are usually 100' tall, but can shrink down to smaller size.

<b><u>Behavior</u></b>

Most Phantom Succubi have psychotic-like behaviors. They are usually playful, but their fun is usually malicious and mean. They are known as trickster demons, as they play usually mean tricks on people, which usually could kill them. They tend to be curious on how other demons react. Since they are often cut-off from other Succubi, they are fascinated by their behavior. Phantom Succubi are very unpredictable and twisted. Oddly enough, they come out more often on a particular day that happens every year on a remote and unimportant planet called Earth.

<b><u>Abilities</u></b>

All Phantom Succubi and Phantom Demons for that matter are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so real it can actually harm and kill people with them. For mortals, getting through is all but impossible. Their illusions can range from changing the landscape, disrupting senses, summoning creatures and stuff, cloning, etc. For supernatural beings, breaking through the illusions is difficult, but very possible. Simply thinking of something other than it can work. By using their illusions, they can alter their appearance for everyone else who sees them, including supernatural beings.

They can become semi-tangible, as well as fully solid. When semi-tangible, they gain some limited size-shifting abilities, mainly to stretch and extend their limbs to incredible length like rubber, move their body and facial features all around their body, and create/remove limbs on their body. They can stretch and swallow things that are about their size in that form, but the major problem is that they are entirely hollow when semi-tangible. They possess no organs in that form, thus can't digest anything. Some Phantom Succubi can turn solid after ingesting something when semi-tangible and digest it. But, very few can do that after vigorous training.

They have a huge weakness, which is their weak physical attributes. For demons, they possess very poor stamina, strength, agility, speed, senses, and durability. They also have weak resistance against magic themselves.



I made that a while back, but now I'm looking for brainstorming to make them even more up the standards of quality.

Use square brackets for the bold/underline/italics.

Edit: Back.

Ah, okay. The HTML brackets make sense now. Anyways, thoughts incoming.

TheQuantumMechanic wrote:

Use square brackets for the bold/underline/italics.

Edit: I didn't post just to say that, but I have to run out to the store. Will give my thoughts on it when I get back.

That's the page I used on my DA actually.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Phantom Succubi are usually 100' tall, but can shrink down to smaller size.

I'm not asking for a definite size here, but how far do you imagine this going? Can they shrink down to a quarter of their size, one-tenth, down to 0.25 inches, what? Just a general idea is fine; I'm wondering if they have total size-altering powers, or if there's a certain limit.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Most Phantom Succubi have psychotic-like behaviors. They are usually playful, but their fun is usually malicious and mean. They are known as trickster demons, as they play usually mean tricks on people, which usually could kill them.

I like this bit, it adds a lot of character. "You have a Phantom Succubi's sense of humor," might not be a compliment among Fire Succubi.

Sean Okotami wrote:

They tend to be curious on how other demons react. Since they are often cut-off from other Succubi, they are fascinated by their behavior. Phantom Succubi are very unpredictable and twisted.

This is good as well, it adds a bit of a different flavor from the other demonic species. It's a good bit of characterization that they find other Succubi as strange as the other Succubi find them.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Oddly enough, they come out more often on a particular day that happens every year on a remote and unimportant planet called Earth.

The thought of Phantom Succubi flocking to Earth for Halloween amuses me greatly. It would be nice if that was the one day out of the year where they weren't neccessarily malicious, just out to enjoy themselves. And get candy. Maybe they have "Trick or Treat" contests, and try to out-do one another with legendary pranks.

Sean Okotami wrote:

All Phantom Succubi and Phantom Demons for that matter are masters of illusions.

Your first time mentioning Phantom Demons, are they a seperate thing you're planning on developing as well, or just associated with Phantom Succubi?

Sean Okotami wrote:

<clipped the rest to keep the post shorter, did read>

Okay, that is a pretty powerful power; not really an uncommon one, either. There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, I just want to note that the power isn't too unique.

However, it is a very versatile one, which could be used in so many different ways that individual Phantom Succubi might have their own illusionary specialties (creating an illusionary battlefield, or making labrynths populated with illusionary monsters, or even illusionary offense spells like the Phantasmal Killer from D&D). So, it definitely works.

I also like that you balanced the power out by making them physically weak in most aspects, it's a good design point. In fact, it probably would've been enough by itself to offset the powerful illusions; the fact that you took it even further and made them more vulnerable to magic as well... well, that shows that you have pretty good design skills and creativity. This kind of Succubi is a creature who could be a fearsome, seemingly invincible monster to one person, while practically being a first-level encounter for another. Great job.

To be honest, I'm really not sure what I can suggest to help raise the standard of quality of your creation; it is already very well done. The only things I can even think to suggest are maybe thinking about the name (Phantasm Succubi or Phantasmal Succubi might work, as well); but really, there isn't anything wrong with it- Phantom Succubi is a fine name.

The only two other suggestions I can think of are maybe working on the society/culture (how they get along with each other, describe life in their cities and what it's like there) and creating a Phantom Succubi character, with a bio and everything. It doesn't have to be an important figure from their culture, just a certain personality to show people a more "real" picture of who they are.

Hope that's helpful, although it doesn't really feel like much. Like I said, you've pretty much got this one nailed down.


I made that a while back, but now I'm looking for brainstorming to make them even more up the standards of quality.[/quote]

I was also thinking of giving them the ability of becoming intangible, just like a ghost. Except it's in that form they are the weakest against magic, and can't really physically interact with solid objects.

I think I have a little explanation to flesh your race.

The phantom succubis, are very rare and odd specie. They very tall specie, 100 ft.
The phantom succubis posses a phase-shift like ability, allowing her to be semi-tangible.
Where she is semi tangible she can shape her body at her will and giving the shape she wants, a smaller form of herself,altering her limb or take the the form of living being or inanimate objects. She can make her new shape tangible, to make it more real. That's why is difficult to recognize a phantom succubis when she shape shift herself. Due to the nature of her body the phantasm succubi are very weak against magic.

I try to link the different abilities you want to give her to make them more unique

What do you think

Yeah, illusion, phase-shifting, and shape-shifting is what I'm talking about.

I think I have understand your problem when you create a creature an OC.
You gives many abilities but they are vague and don't have any realtion with each other. In clear all the abilities are independant and look generic or if you try to link in a theme or concept they will look more natural

They are based on ghost like creatures. Some kind of demon specter.

Sean Okotami wrote:

They are based on ghost like creatures. Some kind of demon specter.

I speak in general, you have interested idea but you have difficulties to flesh them correctly

Hence why I brought them back here so we flesh them out more.

How attached are you to the shapeshifting part? If it's not vital to the concept, I would recommend taking it out.

The main two reasons are because it's somewhat unrelated to the other powers (illusion, and intangibility); it kind of appears to be something extra that was added on, rather than something the concept it built around.

The other reason is that since they are extremely powerful illusionists, they can pretty much look like whatever they want; they don't need to physically shapeshift to change their appearance. As far as they're concerned, illusion might be more important than reality, because they have control over illusion.

A party in their area of Hell might be more about the way you appear to be dressed than the way you are actually dressed. Social status among them might revolve around who can create the most creative, realistic, frightening, etc. illusions. Am I making sense? I hope I am; I'm trying to give you some ideas you might find interesting and want to work with.

I thought of giving them shape-shifting, limited only by the shape. Kind of like their body is made of rubber. Only work when semi-tangible.

Sean Okotami wrote:

I thought of giving them shape-shifting, limited only by the shape. Kind of like their body is made of rubber. Only work when semi-tangible.

If something like that is the case, I would highly suggest establishing a strongerlink between all three abilities.

Something along the lines of saying that:

"Phantom Succubi don't actually become immaterial the way spirits do; instead, they actually become a living illusion, a phantasm without substance. This grants them control over their non-physical form, shaping their bodies however they will... however, the drawback is that they become extremely vulnerable to many forms of magic. Especially anti-magic and anti-illusion spells, which are capable of causing them physical harm while in this state."

See what I mean? Now, rather than Phantom Succubi having three unrelated powers to create illusions, turn intangible, and change their shape... they really only have one defined powerset. They can still do everything they could before, but now all three abilities are just different facets of the same jewel... instead of being a diamond, an emerald, and a ruby.

That works.

Indeed it's better

Alright, let's mold it all up.



Phantom Succubi, and Phantom Demons for that matter, are a reclusive race of demons living in the gloomiest, and creepiest planes of Hell. They are not very numerous in Hell, or anywhere for that matter. They are quite an oddity among demons.

In appearance, a Phantom Succubus will look like a normal Succubus, but emmanating an aura that gives them a ghostly feel or sort. They usually have dark tones, most commonly dark gray. This applies to their skin, hair, and eyes. Phantom Succubi are in average 100' tall. However, the size varies a lot between individuals.

Most Phantom Succubi and Demons have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi and Demons come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Phantom Succubi and Demons are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. However, demons and angels have an easier time breaking through their illusions than mortals, but it is still a very difficult task for them. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Demons and Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Demons' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. For demon and angel standards, it's weak.

Phantom Demons and Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Demon can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

Phantom Succubi are voracious, and usually feeds on anything small, mainly mortals and souls. They uses their skills at manipulating illusions to attract their preys. Even when becoming human-sized, and looking like a human, they can still pull off a very stretchy and strong digestive track to eat you even if you are about the same size when they solidify in phantasm state. Their digestive track, like that of other Succubi, are very strong and neutralizes magic. Also, if they turn into immaterial phantasm when they have eaten something, whatever they ate will become immaterial phantasm as well. Interestingly enough, will vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside.



So what do you think?

An advice don't try to make a description on both phantom succubis and demons at the same time, because phantom demons is a category the phantom succubis belongs, so a phantom demon can't have different abilities from a phantom succubis.

You sould focuse more about the phantom succubi.

Okay, this should apply to only Phantom Succubi. Though Phantom Demons actually share the same weaknesses.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Okay, this should apply to only Phantom Succubi. Though Phantom Demons actually share the same weaknesses.

It's not necessary true because some phantom demons might not share the same weakness than the phantom succubis.

In general then?

The phantom succubi are a specie contrary to the phantom demon which is a category.

The words to explain a category are not the same than the words use to describe a specie.

How you write the bio it's too generic, you should focuse more on the phantom succubi to flesh her than the phantom demon.

To be simple you should forget the phantom demon or make two separate descriptions. one for the phantom succubis and one for the phantom demons

Okay, ignore all instances of Phantom Demon in the description then, and replaces them with Phantom Succubi.

Checked this discussion late (for some reason, new post notices aren't showing up next to the threads )

... So I think I'm missing the contradiction between the Phantom Demon and Phantom Succubi? What's going on, exactly?

It's still too much generic you don't explain how they create their illusions, you describe the effect but not the process.
Edit:
I mean speaking about both the phantom succubis and the phantom demons make think all phantom demons are mostly phantom demons and make the description too generic in my opinion.

Except that it's ok