Phantom Succubi

You got a better idea?

sorry I edit my post.

Quote :

However, demons and angels have an easier time breaking through their illusions than mortals, but it is still a very difficult task for them.

Sounds too much classical, you should use more neutral words or remove it.

Quote :

Phantom Demons' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. For demon and angel standards, it's weak.

same here

This two sentences, gave them a RPG side.

Quote :

Phantom Succubi and Demons are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. However, demons and angels have an easier time breaking through their illusions than mortals, but it is still a very difficult task for them. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Demons and Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Demons' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. For demon and angel standards, it's weak.

Phantom Demons and Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Demon can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

I think they can be merged in one paragraph.

That would make it too long; and they focus on different points, so they should be split into two paragraphs.

I'm still a bit confused about where the conflict is?

TheQuantumMechanic wrote:

That would make it too long; and they focus on different points, so they should be split into two paragraphs.

I'm still a bit confused about where the conflict is?

I don't know how to explain it, I don't mean it's bad but I have the feeling it's very classical maybe the fact using angels and demons as standard.

But when I read this two paragraphs I previously quote, I have the feeling they can be merge in one, only the second is important or maybe it should be weak to in separate description focusing about the phantom demon.

I have the feeling trying to describe both phantom demon and phantom succubis in one description, charge too much the description.

I think to separate descriptions will be better.

Quote :

Most Phantom Succubi and Demons have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi and Demons come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Phantom Succubi and Demons are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. However, demons and angels have an easier time breaking through their illusions than mortals, but it is still a very difficult task for them. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Demons and Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Demons' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. For demon and angel standards, it's weak.

This two paragraphs explain the phantom demon in general.

Quote :

Phantom Succubi, and Phantom Demons for that matter, are a reclusive race of demons living in the gloomiest, and creepiest planes of Hell. They are not very numerous in Hell, or anywhere for that matter. They are quite an oddity among demons.

In appearance, a Phantom Succubus will look like a normal Succubus, but emmanating an aura that gives them a ghostly feel or sort. They usually have dark tones, most commonly dark gray. This applies to their skin, hair, and eyes. Phantom Succubi are in average 100' tall. However, the size varies a lot between individuals.

Phantom Demons and Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Demon can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

Phantom Succubi are voracious, and usually feeds on anything small, mainly mortals and souls. They uses their skills at manipulating illusions to attract their preys. Even when becoming human-sized, and looking like a human, they can still pull off a very stretchy and strong digestive track to eat you even if you are about the same size when they solidify in phantasm state. Their digestive track, like that of other Succubi, are very strong and neutralizes magic. Also, if they turn into immaterial phantasm when they have eaten something, whatever they ate will become immaterial phantasm as well. Interestingly enough, will vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside.

And here they explain the phantom succubis.

I think it's a bit confusing because he starts with the phantom succubis and explain after the phantom demons and return on the phantom succubis.

I post to this thread to explain one of my problem as non native english speaker I have difficulties with long text. So when I see the explanation too heavy I mean by too much explanation or details which are not necessary.

How I separate the explanation there are two comparison, one with the others demons, angels and the humans from earth because the mortals in Felarya are a bit different because they are many creature master in illusion.

And the second with the comparison with the other of succubis.

In the Felarya's view, the comparison with the other succubis is more important because we don't know the mortal's standard in Felarya engulf many of the giant creature of Felarya, and we don't know their strenght next to a demon. A kensha by example can be stonger than many type of demon.

That's why I think it will better to separate some paragraph and make two descriptions.

I hope Sean and Quantum you understand what I mean

Yes, I do. I do agree, I think all the parts that refer more towards Phantom Demons (the general family that Phantom Succubi fall under) should be removed, and saved for a post of their own.

Maybe after the Phantom Succubi are complete, build the idea of the Phantom Demon around them, so that it's more compatible?

I think if there is a part of the wiki speaking about the demon as a race yeah it could be used to describe a subspecie.

Phantom Succubi are a reclusive race of demons living in the gloomiest, and creepiest planes of Hell. They are not very numerous in Hell, or anywhere for that matter. They are quite an oddity among demons.

In appearance, a Phantom Succubus will look like a normal Succubus, but emmanating an aura that gives them a ghostly feel or sort. They usually have dark tones, most commonly dark gray. This applies to their skin, hair, and eyes. Phantom Succubi are in average 100' tall. However, the size varies a lot between individuals.

Most Phantom Succubi have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Phantom Succubi are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Succbus' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. Compared to that of most Succubi, this is sub-par. Phantom Succubi' illusions aren't made of common magic illusions most mortals use. They are actually born from a certain immaterial phantasm they create. Because of this method, normal dispel magic doesn't work well against their illusions. Instead, anti-ghost or spirit magic must be used.

Phantom Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. They indeed turn into the same phantasm they produce to create their deadly illusions. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Succubus can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

Phantom Succubi are voracious, and usually feeds on anything small, mainly mortals and souls. They uses their skills at manipulating illusions to attract their preys. Even when becoming human-sized, and looking like a human, they can still pull off a very stretchy and strong digestive track to eat you even if you are about the same size when they solidify in phantasm state. Their digestive track, like that of other Succubi, are very strong and neutralizes magic. Also, if they turn into immaterial phantasm when they have eaten something, whatever they ate will become immaterial phantasm as well. Interestingly enough, will vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside.




Alright, removed any indication of Phantom Demons, so it only applies to Phantom Succubi now, and explained how their illusions work a bit.

It's better

Quote :

Most Phantom Succubi have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Phantom Succubi are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Succbus' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. Compared to that of most Succubi, this is sub-par. Phantom Succubi' illusions aren't made of common magic illusions most mortals use. They are actually born from a certain immaterial phantasm they create. Because of this method, normal dispel magic doesn't work well against their illusions. Instead, anti-ghost or spirit magic must be used.

I suggest you to remove this two paragraphs and keep them to developp the race of the phantom demons. Because when it will be add in the wiki some parts will be removed, so to keep many of your ideas make two short valid entris

By example:
"Phantom Succubis:

Phantom Succubi are a reclusive race of demons living in the gloomiest, and creepiest planes of Hell. They are not very numerous in Hell, or anywhere for that matter. They are quite an oddity among demons.

In appearance, a Phantom Succubus will look like a normal Succubus, but emmanating an aura that gives them a ghostly feel or sort. They usually have dark tones, most commonly dark gray. This applies to their skin, hair, and eyes. Phantom Succubi are in average 100' tall. However, the size varies a lot between individuals.

Phantom Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. They indeed turn into the same phantasm they produce to create their deadly illusions. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Succubus can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

Phantom Succubi are voracious, and usually feeds on anything small, mainly mortals and souls. They uses their skills at manipulating illusions to attract their preys. Even when becoming human-sized, and looking like a human, they can still pull off a very stretchy and strong digestive track to eat you even if you are about the same size when they solidify in phantasm state. Their digestive track, like that of other Succubi, are very strong and neutralizes magic. Also, if they turn into immaterial phantasm when they have eaten something, whatever they ate will become immaterial phantasm as well. Interestingly enough, will vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside."


"Phantom demons:

Most Phantom demons uncluding the Phantom succubi have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Phantom demons are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom demons' illusion is nearly impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. All Phantom demons have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom demons' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. Compared to that of most demons, this is sub-par. Phantom Succubi' illusions aren't made of common magic illusions. They are actually born from a certain immaterial phantasm they create. Because of this method, normal dispel magic doesn't work well against their illusions. Instead, anti-ghost or spirit magic must be used."

Here we solve the problem of page limits and all your ideas are kept

Okay....

An advice when you have an iteresting idea. Try to make the shorter and clearer as possible if it's not the case divide it many short idea, because is very painful to see many of your ideas are removed

gwadahunter2222 wrote:

An advice when you have an iteresting idea. Try to make the shorter and clearer as possible if it's not the case divide it many short idea, because is very painful to see many of your ideas are removed

Really? Personally, I am okay with that, as long as it doesn't change the meaning of the idea, or take something important out so that it feels incomplete. If either of those two is the case, then yes, it becomes very painful/irritating to me.

... But if it is something like needing to shorten it so that it fits on a wiki page, without losing the 'spirit' of the idea, then that I am perfectly fine with. Which is why I do not have a problem with Karbo making small alterations, without asking me. As long as he understands what the idea is meant to be, and doesn't drastically change it into something else, tweaking it to make it shorter or a better fit for the world of Felarya is fine.

Now, changing a 'completed' concept into something else entirely... that, I would have a problem with.

I prefer to alter things by myself to avaoid to change too much "the spirit"

gwadahunter2222 wrote:

I prefer to alter things by myself to avaoid to change too much "the spirit"

*nod*

As a side note, I haven't forgotten about either of your Succubus threads. I have a few suggestions or ideas to offer, but I've got some other things I'm working on at the moment... for both of you.

TheQuantumMechanic wrote:

*nod*

As a side note, I haven't forgotten about either of your Succubus threads. I have a few suggestions or ideas to offer, but I've got some other things I'm working on at the moment... for both of you.

Ok no prob

Sean Okotami wrote:

Most Phantom Succubi have psychotic-like behavior. They are usually playful, but their fun gravitates often around malicious acts, sadistic practical jokes, and dark humor. For this reason, they are known as Trickster Demons, usually referring to the obscenely life-threatening "jokes" they tend to pull on mortals. They are also curious and fascinated by the behavior of other demons. Because they are usually cut-off from other demons, they are very interested on how a "city demon" react in general, as they are unpredictable and twisted. For some odd reason, Phantom Succubi come out to the public more often on a particular day that is celebrated every year on a backwater planet of no importance.

Just as a suggestion/request, maybe you could work something about them being "unusually cheerful during this time" in here?

Sean Okotami wrote:

Phantom Succubi are masters of illusions. Their illusions are so realistic that they can be used as potential weapons. Getting out of a Phantom Succubus' illusion is all but impossible, mainly because their way of thinking is so foreign to most races. Their illusions can range from simple duplication, to pseudo-reality altering, limited only to the target's perspective. However, they are not without their flaws. Phantom Succubi all have weak physical attributes for demons. Phantom Succbus' strength, speed, agility, senses, stamina, and durability would be classified as merely peak human abilities in average. Compared to that of most Succubi, this is sub-par. Phantom Succubi' illusions aren't made of common magic illusions most mortals use. They are actually born from a certain immaterial phantasm they create. Because of this method, normal dispel magic doesn't work well against their illusions. Instead, anti-ghost or spirit magic must be used.

Here's another suggestion; I would recommend changing "all but impossible" to something like "extremely difficult" or something along those lines. Partially because of my dislike of absolutes, but also because some people might mistake "all but impossible" for meaning the same thing as "impossible" and believe it to be very overpowered.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Phantom Succubi can also turn immaterial like ghosts. However, instead of becoming immaterial the same way spirits do, they become a living illusion, a sort of phantasm without substance. They indeed turn into the same phantasm they produce to create their deadly illusions. In this state, they have complete control over their non-physical form, allowing them to shape their body however they please. The downside to this is that, while immune from physical harm, they can't physically harm anything anymore. In addition, they are very vulnerable to many forms of magic. In particular, dispel types of spells, which are capable of harming them in this form. However, they still can solidify their phantasm to become pseudo-semi-tangible. In this state, they can still shape-shift, but it is only limited to body shape in that form, no longer their full appearance, and they are now vulnerable to both physical harm and dispel magic. As solid phantasm, they can only use illusions to return to immaterial phantasm. A Phantom Succubus can only turn into solid phantasm by turning into immaterial phantasm first. The same applies for the reverse process.

This works much better as an explanation than the write-up you had previously, it makes sense and fits in very well with the overall concept.

Sean Okotami wrote:

Phantom Succubi are voracious, and usually feeds on anything small, mainly mortals and souls. They uses their skills at manipulating illusions to attract their preys. Even when becoming human-sized, and looking like a human, they can still pull off a very stretchy and strong digestive track to eat you even if you are about the same size when they solidify in phantasm state. Their digestive track, like that of other Succubi, are very strong and neutralizes magic. Also, if they turn into immaterial phantasm when they have eaten something, whatever they ate will become immaterial phantasm as well. Interestingly enough, will vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside.

This is also well done and makes sense, although I am slightly confused on that part that I bolded. Is it supposed to read "... while vulnerable to magic in that state, it doesn't work from the inside"?

Sean Okotami wrote:

Alright, removed any indication of Phantom Demons, so it only applies to Phantom Succubi now, and explained how their illusions work a bit.

Good job. I'm not sure what more to add, they are starting to feel very complete. Again, a little more info about their society or the areas of Hell they live in would be nice, but that can always be fleshed out later, or in another post. Keeping the focus on the Phantom Succubi for now is a good idea until Karbo weighs in on them, I think.