Things just get worse!

You know the old saying "It can't get any worse?" Well, it can! This semester has just been hell, and after I thought the worst was behind me with that betrayal, grades are the issue.

You see, I'm in a Zoology Tutorial, a rare class that I had interest in, so its a small class of 5. I honestly didn't study much for my first 2 exams (Well, the first one wasn't my fault really, as I had just had a meeting with Student Services about the betrayal, and I was obviously shaken and had a hard time thinking. In retrospect, i probably should have asked for a delay. Oh well...). Since I got mid 50's, I knew I had to do better on exam 3. So, I actually study for it, and prepare for it, and what do I get when it gets handed back to me today? A 49. A MOTHERFUCKING 49!!! I actually did worse when I studied.

So now, I'm looking at a make or break 200pt final! If i pass, I pass the course, fail, I fail the course. Although, failure isn't an option, because the course is impossible to retake because it is offered very rarely. And since that F would stay on my transcript (Mixed with the two F's I already have in other courses) that makes me virtually unemployable for any Bio job. And as if that wasn't enough, my GPA is just a hair above Academic Probation, which means that the university shuts off any financial aid. Which means that I can't afford to go there anymore, which means that I will be kicked out! Which in short, means that I'm going to be on the street, with no job, no friends, and no one who gives a shit about me IRL!

I don't know what to do about it! I asked the professor what he sees students doing. And he said that some rewrite their notes (Which wouldn't work on me) or flashcards (Which I used to study for the latest exam). I had an appointment tomorrow with the school's tutoring service, but of course, those overpaid pricks are unavailable to meet with me!

Oh, and to top off the bullshit sundae is a 5-8 page paper that I haven't started and am completely lost on, 3 short papers (2 Philosophy, 1 History) and a Physics Exam! I don't know how I'm going to do this! Things are just going horribly wrong!

I am willing to accept ANY AND ALL ideas. I don't care if they are ethical or not! I am willing to cheat if necessary. And use off-the-wall ideas and technicalities to pass! So please, share any ideas you have or have used! Time is running out on me!

Take a breath. Take a few more. Clear your head for a moment. Identify what you need to do, and tackle one problem at a time.

I could proofread any papers before you hand them in.

Why'd you do so poorly on the most recent final when you studied? Did you study the wrong content? Were the questions not what you expected? Did you run out of time? Honestly, though, you're lucky you can still pass with a good final grade; a 50% on all three exams would usually be almost impossible to recover from.

As for everything else: it sounds like you need to learn better time management skills, though a full week should be plenty for those papers if you use your time well. If you do make it through this, I'd recommend spending the next semester getting your butt solidly in gear; you should already have done that when you got within spitting distance of academic probation, and you need to get as far away from that as soon as possible. I would say try and change your courseload up a little (talk to your advisor to make sure this will actually work) to put some easy classes together so you can get top marks and boost your GPA, but it also sounds like Zoology Tutorial is an intro-level class, so it's already likely easy.