Relationships- Advice needed

Okay, this is a bit heavy, but I'm in this relationship with this girl and I REALLY do love her, I mean more than anything in this whole world. But right now our relationship is going down the drain, and I've tried everything I could think of to make her happy... what do I do?

Ooh, I've seen this happen. I've been there. Almost ruined my life... well, actually, almost ENDED my life... eheheheheh...

I'm gonna need more info on this relationship. Females Human beings are complicated. There could be any number of reasons why she'd be getting distant. FIrst of all, you need to be up-front with her: girls are usually very impressed when a guy comes right out with his feelings.

ZionAtriedes wrote:

Ooh, I've seen this happen. I've been there. Almost ruined my life... well, actually, almost ENDED my life... eheheheheh...

I'm gonna need more info on this relationship. Females Human beings are complicated. There could be any number of reasons why she'd be getting distant. FIrst of all, you need to be up-front with her: girls are usually very impressed when a guy comes right out with his feelings.

Actually, I tell her everything, its kind of backwards in this relationship. She doesn't tell me anything and when something goes wrong, well its my fault and I need to find out what *I* did wrong, even when I don't do anything wrong, suddenly she places the blame on me.

Daejien wrote:

ZionAtriedes wrote:

Ooh, I've seen this happen. I've been there. Almost ruined my life... well, actually, almost ENDED my life... eheheheheh...

I'm gonna need more info on this relationship. Females Human beings are complicated. There could be any number of reasons why she'd be getting distant. FIrst of all, you need to be up-front with her: girls are usually very impressed when a guy comes right out with his feelings.

Actually, I tell her everything, its kind of backwards in this relationship. She doesn't tell me anything and when something goes wrong, well its my fault and I need to find out what *I* did wrong, even when I don't do anything wrong, suddenly she places the blame on me.

Ouch. Friend of mine had this problem, he ended up breaking up with her.

If she's as greedy as you make her sound, why waste the effort?

Daejien wrote:

ZionAtriedes wrote:

Ooh, I've seen this happen. I've been there. Almost ruined my life... well, actually, almost ENDED my life... eheheheheh...

I'm gonna need more info on this relationship. Females Human beings are complicated. There could be any number of reasons why she'd be getting distant. FIrst of all, you need to be up-front with her: girls are usually very impressed when a guy comes right out with his feelings.

Actually, I tell her everything, its kind of backwards in this relationship. She doesn't tell me anything and when something goes wrong, well its my fault and I need to find out what *I* did wrong, even when I don't do anything wrong, suddenly she places the blame on me.

Ow. Doesn't sound like a nice girl. No offense, though... I'm not trying to be insulting.

You need to tell her that. You need to go right up to her and say:
"Listen, [insert name here]. I need to know how you feel about me, right now. It seems like we're drifting apart, and I don't want that. I really do love you, but you're making this hard for me. I bend over backwards for you, and you still want more. Listen, mon ami... if you think that other guys are going to take this, you need to seriously re-think things."

Thank you for your help, guys, but I know that by this day's end, I'm going to be single and hating it. Don't worry though, I'm a tough guy, I'll get through it.

Daejien wrote:

Thank you for your help, guys, but I know that by this day's end, I'm going to be single and hating it. Don't worry though, I'm a tough guy, I'll get through it.

Sure you will, you never know, you might be better for it. Sounds like she isn't worth it from what i've read anyway.

NovusWolf wrote:

Daejien wrote:

Thank you for your help, guys, but I know that by this day's end, I'm going to be single and hating it. Don't worry though, I'm a tough guy, I'll get through it.

Sure you will, you never know, you might be better for it. Sounds like she isn't worth it from what i've read anyway.

I've been there before. Trust me, Cale. It will hurt. A lot. I know all too well. But time will pass, and you will see it happened for a reason. You will be stronger, wiser, and better with women because of it. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Also, it helps when you've got a crowd of people behind you to stop you from swallowing every pill in your house... I also know that very well.

Look, dude, I know what it's like to be in loe with someone and go through that experience. It made me realize that I wasn't the right guy for her, and she wasn't the right girl for me. So, we split and remained friends. You will always find someone else to be with in the end, or stay with the one you truly love.

Well, I've always had this theory: love isn't always about "finding your one soulmate". I think that two people can fall in love if they work towards it... though it may be impossible with certain pairs, and easier with others. It's all about compatibility.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you agree with the breakup, and say something to the effect of "Hey, you know what, you're right. We should just be friends," often the girl will come back to you, simply because she misses what she had, or as some ulterior motive to keep you from being with someone else. It works like a charm, I only ask that you not abuse this power.

If she really loves you, she will be back, relatively soon. Someone who really loves another person will not purposefully leave that person for an extended period of time. I know this from experience. Waited on a girl for four months, then took her back, even though she was unfaithful to me. It wasn't really love, and she broke up with me again six months later and never returned. Pleading doesn't usually work.

Concerning this girl you care about, you will know by her actions whether she really wants to be with you. If you beg and plead, like I did, it will only push her further away. You must be in a lot of pain, like ZionAtreides said, maybe enough to want to die. I've felt that way before too, even contemplated suicide before. But it's not worth it. She is not worth it. I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully she comes back to you. Patience is a virtue. Just make sure you have someone worth waiting for...Good luck

P.S. I'm not the unfaithful type, but I've made many mistakes, and learned from them. I am now engaged to be married to a beautiful young woman I met at college. We are currently saving up money for our future together.