My first character: Thane

Well, After a looooong interlude I've finally got around to redoing this. You can thank CauldronBorn and The Joker for that.

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Name: Thane
Species: Human.
Age: Around 60 chronological age and 27 biological age. (Aging is slowed down by blue gem).
Gender: Male
Skin Colour: Reddish due to iron content.*
Hair Colour: Very dark brown (dreadlocks - stops around neckline)
Eye Colour: Bright Blue (Natural Colour: Greenish grey)
Physique: 6ft tall, well muscled, tending toward the wiry. He is more built in upper body due to carrying and using his gauntlets.

Skills:
Thane is a very skilled metalworker. He can make a variety of bladed weapons and armour. With a bit of work he can also make guns, like revolvers, assault rifles and machineguns. If he has time to fabricate it, Thane can make weapons out of advanced materials like titanium alloys, singl crystal metals and superalloys. However this is uncommon, because of the time needed to make the required tools.
Combat Skills:
In close combat, Thane uses his vougle and pistol. If fighting a one on one he will often attempt to hook his opponent and pull them to set them off balance so he can then follow up with devastating swings from above or to the sides. Another tecnhique he uses is forcing his opponent backwards then quickly withdrawing and finishing them off with his machine pistol.
If fighting in a group who us also using polearms he will employ the usual techniques for polearm fighting in a group, thrusting and downward swings as well as jabs with the buttspike.
In melee combat, where there is often no room to swing his vougle, Thane employs an oversize hatchet or his gauntleted fists.

History:
In his youth, Thane joined his nation’s army. At the time it seemed like a good idea. 2 years later a new government came into power. This one was more expansionistic, more aggressive than the moderate government that preceded it. Over the next year it covertly began sabotaging the surrounding nations’ economy and infrastructure. The next year it marched the army in. There was almost no resistance, as by this time the surrounding nations’ armies had dwindled to just a handful. A majority of the populace welcomed the invaders, as they promised a wealthier nation, better services and better protection. For the most part, these promises were carried out. The army became convinced they were part of a force to restore order, peace and betterment to the world. This was due to (in no small part) propaganda that flooded the army, the now-absorbed surrounding nations and Thane’s birth nation.
Using the resources from the subjugated nations the army set out to conquer the outlying nations. This time, there was heavy resistance as they had seen what had happened to the other, closer nations. Total war broke out.
The same government remained in power; however, new leadership came in. These leaders were almost fanatical in their devotion to the state and its apparent mission of liberation as they had gotten to their position by consuming the propaganda. They forced more resources into the war. Thane took part in this, distinguishing himself in combat many times, remembering what had happened in the first nations they had subjugated. The generals, seeing his talent and devotion to the state selected him for a special program.
They were told the program’s objective was to create a core fighting elite to lead the army into battle or go in alone to strategic targets.
What they were not told was that participants would be implanted with a neural interface that would connect directly to their brain (via the spine). Their minds were to be overwritten with absolute obedience and loyalty to the nation and more specifically, the government. Fortunately for Thane, the surgeon conducting the insertion of the implant was against what the state was doing and so modified the connection. However he was only able to cancel the overwriting at halfway.
<Intervening parts would reveal spoilers about a story I will eventually write>
After leaving (escaping) his home world he found that he was only useful as a soldier or weaponsmith. The world he fled to was a relatively peaceful low tech/magic world. It is here he learned a lot of his blacksmith skills, as well as how to imbue weapons with magic.
Eventually he left this world with the aid of a wizard friend.
The second world was Thane travelled to was a stark contrast to the first. Shortly after arriving Thane was hired as a mercenary and quickly put to work (fighting).
After participating in a slaughter of a town, he realised that he was close to becoming like the corrupted government in his home world. He left the second world and on the third, a world high tech that was familiar with inter-universal travel he used the technology of the world neural interface to modify his personality, giving himself a strong sense of honour.
The 4th world Thane travelled to had the most effect on Thane after his home world. It was here, on a desolate world filled with the ruins of a dead civilisation that he discovered an artefact that has shaped his life ever since. The artefact appears to be a large blue gem. What it is in actuality is the peak of an entire civilisation’s magical and technological achievement. It granted him power, but at no small price.
The price is that Thane is occasionally forced to seek out other ‘gems’ similar to the ones he carries. They were made in conjunction with the one he carries and meant to be used in unison. This usually manifests itself in an irresistible impulse go through a portal, seek a place or join something. These impulses come seemingly at random, and there is no telling how long the interval between them will be.
For the moment Thane is wandering worlds collecting resources and money (usually gold) to store on a dead planet, so that when he is called to seek again, he will have enough resources to succeed.
Very occasionally he will attempt to recruit someone to help him.

Personality
(Note: This is a bit bare-bones as I’d prefer to show his personality through his interaction with others in role-play and stories)
Thane’s personality is unusual, a result of the attempted “overwrite” and then being further modified by Thane himself.
Thane hates (possibly more than anything else) the unwilling or unknowing modification of someone's body or mind; be it mind altering things like what happened to him, a parasite or any modification to the body against the will or without the knowledge of the person. This stems from his own experience of almost having his mind completely altered to ensure loyalty.
Years of surviving on a number of different worlds has given Thane a wary attitude to new people (Or at least, new people that aren't paying him). Thane likes to know where he stands with people, so can be blunt. Because of this he never really rises far when he joins a strictly regimented/state military force, as he often does when arriving on a new world.

Abilities:
Thane has a magnetic sense that allows him to ‘see’ magnetic (and by extension electrical) fields. This ability does not include being able to manipulate them. The ability is not directional; Thane is able to detect magnetism and electrical activity in a 360 degree sphere around him. However, this ability has its drawbacks. An EMP will magnetically ‘blind’ Thane temporarily as well as cause him pain.
Travelling between worlds can also cause full or semi magnetic blindness, as the portals often produce strong magnetic fields.
He obtained this sense as part of the soldier ‘enhancement’ program by his government.

Magic:
By nature, Thane is not a combat spell-caster. However he does have the ability to imbue weapons he makes with magic. (Note: This is not uncommon in a lot of fantasy; blacksmiths can often make magic swords without being a wizard.) This ability is greatly enhanced by the gem he carries.
Thane’s magic lies with the ‘gem’ he carries with him, and his gauntlets. The gem allows him to manipulate matter and energy.
His matter manipulation abilities include being able to fuse existing matter into another element and shaping it. The finished material depends on what the starting elements are. For example; Thane cannot fuse hydrogen into iron, as far too much energy and hydrogen is required to make any significant amount. The ability also requires an understanding of the composition of the desired product.


Armour:
Thane’s chest is covered by a layer of Kevlar overlaid by a light titanium alloy. In-between the layers there is a high conductive mesh. This aids in heat dispersal from things like energy weapons or temperature equalisation hotter environments.
His legs are covered by hardened leather chaps. Lower legs are protected by greaves of the same material as the chest armour, except without the heat dispersal mesh.

Weapons & Equipment:
Thane’s main tools are his gauntlets. These massive metal gloves nearly double the size of his hands and extend into vambraces that cover his forearms. The reason for their size is the amount of equipment and weapons built into them. In the right vambraces there is a 9cm blade that snaps out onto the gauntlet. In the left, a digital jack for this rifle scope as well as clips for his buckler or 9mm automatic pistol. The gauntlets themselves incorporate a system of artificial muscles to aid with movement and give additional strength.
The actual appearance of the gauntlets and vambraces is not plain metal, as one might expect, Instead they are inlaid with silver and copper designs. These designs are not just decorative, they server both a magical and mechanical function. The designs look like a cross between printed circuits and rune circles. They aid when imbuing spells and also when using his matter/magic abilities, as they translate neural impulses into magic commands. This is required as Thane cannot remember the chemical structure for every type of material he might need, so his implant contains ‘blueprints’ of many different compounds.
They are Thane’s second most prized possession, as he built and upgraded them over many years.

Thane carries a dual mode, semi-automatic rifle/pistol wielded in his left hand. Rifle mode is achieved through means of a detachable barrel and stock. The gun is similar to a M82 sniper rifle, as it fires .50 calibre 12.7x99mm rounds. These bullets when fired using the rifle barrel are capable of hurting a giant predator (Not killing, but they’ll feel it). When in pistol mode the rounds lack the range and power when fired using the rifle barrel. Since the weapon is semi-automatic Thane has to use his arm-brace to cope with the recoil if he’s firing rapidly in pistol mode as the rifle stock has a recoil absorber, and the pistol does not. (Thanks to CauldronBorn24 for his extensive help with the gun).

As mentioned before, Thane has clips on his left vambrace. These are designed to carry a buckler or a 9mm automatic pistol. The buckler isn’t a normal one however. Where wood would normally be used in construction, a very tough carbon ceramic compound has been used instead. Titanium alloy is used for the boss and rim reinforcements.
His 9mm automatic pistol has no grip or trigger, as it is fired by neural commands through his implant.

Thane also carries a voulge. (Or a voulge-guisarme as it also has a back-hook that can be used to aid in climbing or to dismount riders). The weapon has no special properties apart from being imbued with a spell to make it not chip or blunt easily. As such, it is quite sharp.

Thane carries a large blue gem. He found it on a desolate world and has carried it ever since. It is about the size of a small plum (not including the tips). It glows very faintly, not enough to illuminate anything, but enough so that it never appears to be in shadow. Because of this, Thane usually carries it around his neck hidden in a leather pouch.
Thane doesn’t know what it is for sure, but he does know that he his using only a fraction of its power. The gem grants him his matter/energy manipulation abilities. It also enhances his relatively weak magnetic sense, making it much more useful. Lastly, it allows him to imbue weapons with more powerful magic than he would be able to on his own.

Thane also carries essentials such as food and water, some tools and other miscellaneous items such in a backpack. Ammunition in pouches on his belt, As well as a larger supply in his pack. When he's not using his buckler it hangs from the back of his pack.

Misc:
*Thane's skin contains iron, which gives it a rusty red tinge. This is a characteristic of people from his home world. (Since iron is magnetic it is also part of the reason the enhanced soldier program included a magnetic sense). The iron is in the form of iron (III) oxide. As part of the military enhancement program, an enzyme containing powerful reducing agent was synthesised, able to extract the oxygen from the iron oxide in their skin and transfer it to the bloodstream. An artificial organ was produced to make this enzyme and was implanted in the adrenal gland as part of the enhancement program. When adrenaline is released the enzyme is as well, meaning that Thane does not get out of breath when running or fighting or doing similar activities. His skin also loses some of it's reddish tint while this occurs, as the iron oxide is broken down to release the oxygen. However there are drawbacks. Since the oxygen is taken from the skin it must be replenished, this causes Thane to have to breath heavily or be out of breath after the effect worn off as oxygen is diverted from to replenishing the skin stores.

overall i think it's a good character, but the thing with object/matter materializing, smells kinda like "Joker's" char: Baras.

Reptillian wrote:

overall i think it's a good character, but the thing with object/matter materializing, smells kinda kinda "Joker's" char: Baras.

Damn. I thought it was an original(ish) idea.

not quite^^, but the rest is good, so just change that bit, add something extra and background history and he would we good to go.

Object/matter materializing is pretty common through many fiction's.

Ah, don't worry about it, Anime-Junkie. You can do whatever you want with your character. Felarya's a crossroad for pretty much every single dimension, so it's possible for someone to pop up with similar powers compared to someone else. Besides, Baras' ablitily to materialize matter is only mechanically based while yours is based off of magic.

The Joker wrote:

Besides, Baras' ablitily to materialize matter is only mechanically based while yours is based off of magic.

ah didn't think about that...MY BAD

I think I'd like to hear some of his actual character instead of his powers and abilities.

/Fish/ wrote:

I think I'd like to hear some of his actual character instead of his powers and abilities.

That's under development, as is Thane's backstory.

Anime-Junkie wrote:

/Fish/ wrote:

I think I'd like to hear some of his actual character instead of his powers and abilities.

That's under development, as is Thane's backstory.

Character comes faaaaar before powers and abilities.

/Fish/ wrote:

Anime-Junkie wrote:

/Fish/ wrote:

I think I'd like to hear some of his actual character instead of his powers and abilities.

That's under development, as is Thane's backstory.

Character comes faaaaar before powers and abilities.

I know this now.

Updated his weapons, having a battleaxe and a voulge was redundant.

Can I get some feedback on his current state?

Quote :

Name: Thane
Species: Slightly combat enhanced human.
Age: Around 60 chronological age and 27 biological age. (Aging is slowed down by blue gem).
Gender: Male
Skin Colour: Reddish due to iron content.*
Hair Colour: Very dark brown (longish - stops around neckline)
Eye Colour: Bright Blue (Natural Colour: Greenish grey)
Physique: 6ft tall, well muscled, tending toward the wiry. He is more built in upper body due to carrying and using his gauntlets.

good good, wait age? so he's not a part of felarya? well he comes from another world I guess so that's fine. Age being there just to give an idea as to his physical body's looks, but people can look old and be young and vice versa. still interesting aspect with the iron content. that's pretty cool.

Quote :

Skills:

so he's a weapon smith more or less? thats a good reason to make him skilled with different types of weapons. I bet he practices in his spare time

Quote :

Backstory:

dang. alright well here we have a bit of an issue:

1) this seems more like a story than a brief summation of personal history
2) I've not seen one mention of felarya in this entire bio, I thought this was a felaryan character.
3) he escapes to other worlds with the help of his wizard friend, where does this friend come from? who is he? why can he use magic? I thought this world was magic-less and it sounds like he just came out of nowhere.

Armor, Weapons, and Abilities and Personality are all good though. you said you'd rather have his personality expressed through RPs, so there's no problem there. (I actually like that better, its a wise decision: you get to know your character more when you use him.)

Archmage_Bael wrote:

dang. alright well here we have a bit of an issue:

1) this seems more like a story than a brief summation of personal history
2) I've not seen one mention of felarya in this entire bio, I thought this was a felaryan character.
3) he escapes to other worlds with the help of his wizard friend, where does this friend come from? who is he? why can he use magic? I thought this world was magic-less and it sounds like he just came out of nowhere.

3) True, it is more of a history. I've renamed that section accordingly.

2) I know I haven't mentioned Felarya, I haven't gotten to that yet...

3) That's a different world from the magicless world. I didn't elaborate on the wizard because this bio is not about him.