Welch's List

Currently the list of 1575 things Mr. Welch is Not Allowed to do in an RPG.

My personal favorites:
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropiate name for a superhero.
18. When Surrendering, I am to hand over the sword HILT first.
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 blue whales.
48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
101. I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING.
106. I do not have weapon proficiency in Cat.
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I am forbidden from doing it.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
252. I cannot order the druid to transform and roll out.
289. My character does not have Flaw Addiction: Helium.
330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
337. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.
374. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.
461. Tasha's Uncontrollably Hideous Sister is not a real spell.

That's just in the first five hundred, mind you. Personally, I find the List to be great for a laugh, and just wanted to share it with everyone here.

I love that list. I'm up somewhere in the 1200's right now. I can't remember the number, but my current favorite is: If the light spell runs out, lighting the dwarf on fire is not a good substitute. Or something along those lines.

135. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.

Damnit, i was hoping to get some bubblewrap from this adventure... *tosses a gold coin in a pond for no reason*

88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.

I disagree.


146. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.

That's racist D:


199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'

I suppose division by zero is out of the question too?

Im guessing dividing by Zero would be on the list... lol

codaman wrote:

<Snipped out image> Im guessing dividing by Zero would be on the list... lol

Three words:
Total Protonic Reversal.

Oldman40k2003 wrote:

Three words:
Total Protonic Reversal.

.... three more words:
What the hell?

I believe this falls into the category of "I wish you wouldn't grant this wish"...which is also on the list.

codaman wrote:

.... three more words:
What the hell?

From here...
Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm a little fuzzy on the whole "good/bad" thing here. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal!
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. All right, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

ah, ok... won't do it...

*puts calculator away*

oh come on, whats not to like in a little chaos? I mean we live in felarya right? ...right? o_O

Byakugan01 wrote:

I believe this falls into the category of "I wish you wouldn't grant this wish"...which is also on the list.

Read my post, that's how I brought it up.

Anime-Junkie wrote:

Byakugan01 wrote:

I believe this falls into the category of "I wish you wouldn't grant this wish"...which is also on the list.

Read my post, that's how I brought it up.

Woops, my bad. I thought you had used a different one...shouldn't post right before bed.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

oh come on, whats not to like in a little chaos? I mean we live in felarya right? ...right? o_O

well atleast wait until its needed... im pretty sure dividing by zero right after being eaten would make sence... either way, your screwed...