Locust's Secret Plans For World Domination

(Sorry the other one went into Ideas discussion... I only now realized it was for things that you'd like in the wiki...
But I think this one is in the right place)

Esteemed Lord Warrior, Conqueror And Sovereign,

It is no secret that I wish to do all I could to ensure the survival of everyone in Felarya. I've pored through the books you've so kindly provided me, and I must say that it's been insightful. I have thus now the following ideas that I could implement, if we were to somehow get our hands on the required resources.
I am not adverse to your intent to conquering Felarya, it can't make things worse at the very least, but I think you should think about it more carefully. You know that I concern myself most of all about your well-being, and Felarya's dealt in its particular way with more armies and would-be conquerors than I know of.
But if you wish to build a reputation, the following of my plans are possibilities that would endear you with most of the world's population that would see you as one of them. Note that all of them have drawbacks. Endearing yourself with the population that wouldn't see you as one of them... would be really difficult. I recommend you use an elven liaison, or a puppet if you wish to be frank, in interacting with this world. That way you'll have less problems with elves. Those amongst the other races who are sane will also have no problems looking up at an elf.

I recommend, frankly, that you do not come to Felarya yourself, not even undercover, not even into Negav. Believe me that you STILL can get eaten, courtesy of nemesises, a race I'm trying to research, but which seems to be too mysterious for me. I'm frankly glad that so far none of them has decided it would be fun to see just how willing I am to be eaten, given that I call myself and my men FOOD. I suppose they have no sense of humour and I thank the heavens for that. Others' sense of humour is an important cause of death here.

PLAN 1- The Citadel of Salvation

This plan assumes that it is possible to make contact with, and enslave, an extradimensional entity. In this case, I'm assuming that it is somehow possible to both contact and enslave a Dimensional Angler.
Dimensional Anglers are somewhat common in Deeper Felarya. If one could be tamed, its ability to create portals seemingly at will would be certainly useful. If it were possible to keep it from snatching people, if it were possible to actually let us cross to the universe in question, there are methods, as you've made me aware of, to create new pocket universes. I was thinking we could create a small (180 feet in radius would be more than enough) universe which was designed to be a defensible position, and from there use a captured angler to create portals to strategic areas in Felarya.
The use of those portals would certainly mean a lot less danger for most travelers, or, if we had some way to get surveillance throughout Felarya or set up a warning system, even allow us to rescue people in need! Snatch them back from this hungry world by simply creating an escape route wherever they need us! Only the guardians could stop us from doing that! And if we ever don't know where are people in need, just pointing a portal into Crisis' stomach will save a dozen or so lives anytime.
Originally, I'd planned the Citadel to be actually on Felarya, connecting several safe spots. However, portal-crafting is mind-numbing business, and beyond me to start, much less repeat, not to mention safe spots are always transitory: fairies are abundant, nomadic, curious, and awfully dangerous. Securing any help from predators, if you could, would actually make (relatively) safe spots possible. But I'm not so inclined. You know I don't feel predators should be helping us, Lord Warrior. I acknowledge that may be misguided on my part.

To protect ourselves against fairies and other predators, I'd suggest placing a huge pit trap and dusk lillies around the portal entrance in the pocket universe. Since the pocket universe would be an artificial creation, deciding it would be always night is a possibility, thus allowing dusk lillies to flourish, which would drain fairies of magic before they accomplished anything, while the pit trap would deal with any other predators except harpies. Harpies aren't that tough, however, and are among the few predators I consider possible to defeat consistently and soundly.
That way, the only kind of danger we'd be in would be from technologically based invading forces who'd want such a place for themselves. There's also a clear and present danger that someone takes offense to the enslavement of a dimensional angler. But it doesn't have to be a dimensional angler. There could be many things that could do the same thing, I suppose. Any of which would help us save a million lives.

PLAN 2- A Ring For Crisis

This plan assumes that Crisis is responsible for at least a significant portion of the people who're eaten in Felarya every day. If this were the case, I've got a simple plan to contain the damage. By simply providing Crisis with a ring of sustenance, one of those rings that supply the body with energy even without food or water, it would be possible to keep her appetite down, depending on whether the ring of sustenance provides or not a sensation of fullness. With a lowered appetite, it'll be more likely her preys escape or are spared. If the ring merely provides her with energy but no satiation, then we'll have made things worse.
If she is not the most damaging predator, substitute Crisis for whichever one you prefer.

PLAN 3- Creating Ransom Posts

I had been considering this plan for a while and was about to personally put it in motion, when I realized that there was scant possibility it worked at all. So I've preliminarily set it in motion with a robot I bought on the black market: this unit will attempt to create a ransom post in the Forest of Whispers. Chip's (this unit's) orders are to start a trade post. Most prey don't get a chance to convince predators to spare them in exchange for something, Chip may change that. If a predator were forewarned of the possibility of obtaining something in exchange for sparing a life, and considered it a clear and present possibility, however slim the chance was, as long as ONE predator agrees to an exchange, my efforts will have been worth it.

Chip will barter with predators to obtain humans from them. And it'll accept pre-orders, so that a predator with a pre-existing want will know what it can get for a human. It has a direct line with someone I trust so that she may find the predator whatever it desires, then send it to Chip via unmanned vehicle. Chip will rely on having to protect a reputation to make itself trustworthy. Since it's not alive, it can't be eaten (to discourage eating it for the hell of it it's equipped with a rotary saw capable of fucking up a tongue pretty bad), and it's supposed to avoid violence in any other forms. I suppose I'll think a way to get the humans back out of that place in a week or so; I doubt it will make any progress at least within a month. It's also got a dart gun to take duikers and medium animals alive; they've got about the same mass as a human, so some predators may agree to simply trade one human for two or three duikers.

I haven't taken predator ruthlessness into account yet. I know they could simply take the preorders from his depot by force the moment they get there. I hope Chip is resourceful enough to protect his stash. Neither have I taken into account a possibility for slander or ideologically disagreeing with the fact it should exist. That's what its shotgun and rotary saw are for. Chip is programmed to be far more ruthless than I'll ever be. That could NOT help however if a predator were to demand more than what Chip could give, or if it were to demand Chip put itself in a position in which it would incur the wrath of other predators. If a predator asked for everyone else's preorders in stock in exchange for a human, Chip's reputation would be damaged among predators were he to agree, or among humans if he were to disagree, and in a worst case scenario, he would only gain one human for what could have saved several: that same predator could then redistribute the preorders among the preordering predators and render Chip very limited in his ability to offer anything for anyone's life. That doesn't count the bandit hazard for the unmanned vehicle and that could be made worse if the bandits lose later to a predator. I guess Chip'll save lives until the laws of barter assert themselves.

Chip's algorhytm to price a life is heuristic, capable of trial, error, discerning, and learning. Hopefully predators will be reasonable, not just ask "everything you have" every time. I hope I can trust them to do that, at least. I hope Chip meets no greedy ones that are greedy just for the sake of being contrary. I can at least count on some fairies giving Chip humans just to see what happens, though... if they don't find a way to destroy Chip first. I'm also worried that by offering something for every life, I might appeal but to the most merciful predators and only save lives that would've been spared anyway, also creating the impression that lives are to be spared only if there's a reward involved and then making it worse for those people who'd have been spared if it weren't I made a mistake and had the predators decide they wanted something for every life. I wouldn't like that. Predators are generally innocent beings, I'd be glad if I wasn't the one to destroy that little ironic mercy that this world has with its victims, even if it annoys me to no end it's still refreshing every time.

NOTE: I've let Chip lump nekos and elves with humans, as in the specimens he is supposed to collect. I hope no elves are offended about being lumped there too, at least not enough to do something stupid... elves always find a way to sour my day whenever they appear. And it's a real shame, because with a different attitude they'd be really pleasant people to have around.

PLAN 4- Safe Spots

Aside from the trade posts idea, I had an earlier plan, which, while not as disturbing, can backfire much more spectacularly.

My plan consisted of creating safe places all over Felarya. I can create a variety of them single-handedly myself in a fell swoop, but let's not digress. Anywhere we could find a concealable spot, there could be a hiding spot. By simply creating an underground room and concealing the entrance, then adding a door, it's possible to create a perfect, if temporary, safe spot, where no giant predator could get in. Just add clues around to guide the clueless victims of Felarya's dimensional rifts there, and you're done.

Essential amenities are all that's required on the inside. Room for six people to sleep in (up to eighteen with hotbunking), enough supplies for eighteen people to last for three months (because of worst case scenarios), and enough fancy material to keep them sane despite their ordeal and disorientation without tempting them to go into the jungle again, even considering the large contrast between being holed up in an underground flat with stale air, no windows, rationing water, and going out into the most breathtakingly beautiful, mysterious and amazing jungle in creation. That could prove to be an impossible task. I know my fellow man well enough to know that adding any notes telling people how dangerous the jungle is won't help things any... even adding footage showing what happens to people who find nagas or fairies will only make them suspect the flat to be the trap, rather than the jungle, suggest it's some sort of sick mind game, a stupid experiment. I know I'd have made that assumption myself.

But once each safe spot got found by a predator, and we'd need complete strangers to find them (through signs for example) if we're to do any good, they would no longer become so much safe spots as deathtraps. Any predator who discovered the entrance would have a replenishing supply of food herded there by the clues we left, and while I don't know how many giant sentient predators there really are, I'm not sure I can create more safe spots than there are predators. Besides, fairies can still get inside one; we'd need some way to make sure fairies can't or won't get in. Be it antimagic fields, tonorions, dusk lillies, voidcaps, khyldrids, or birdshot (my personal pick for it's cheap, reliable, and excruciating if replaced with rock salt, thus allowing someone to take the fairy and find a way to make it keep its mouth shut), there has to be a way to keep fairies out of the safe spot, or at least neutralize them while they're in. At the same time, this could be unfair for the fairies if a fairy hunter found it and decided to take advantage of our carefully worked wards to trap a clueless fairy. Not that I have the temerity to say we could ensure fairy hunter supremacy worldwide, but it would still be unfair, even if it were just an individual occassion. Worse, it could backfire for both me and the fairy hunter if all they accomplished was showing a fairy where was the safe spot, which would be more likely. And that wouldn't be funny.

Slug girls also sound like a disaster waiting to happen. I don't know how compressible they are, but they'll be a wholly different can of worms to keep away. Maybe an airlock would do? Not to mention smaller nagas. A smaller naga would be able to have all the humans it wanted in a so-called safe spot and I could do squat about it. Close to sea, chlaenas are popular for their compressibility. There may also be varieties of carnivorous plants that could infest one so-called safe spot.

As for the amenities required to get people to stay, I'd suggest a shower, some books, tons of empty notebooks... maybe creating the impression that there's a mystery to be solved in the hideout it'd be possible to entice people to stay or maybe that's just my inner entertainer talking. Trapping them would be effective but seems a bit extreme, and it wouldn't be possible without also sealing out the people on the outside that need to get in, not to mention putting them in an adverse condition towards the people who'll come to the rescue, thus endangering not only them, but also others. Promising a stranger hope like I did on my signs before could backfire and just make them be on their guard against you.

By simply checking in once a week, for instance, it's possible to rescue anyone in there: all we'd need is someone who was able and willing to teleport several times a day, was familiar with the safe spots, and didn't care much for money. It's even possible to construct a room in each safe spot that would make teleporting into it easier, if that proved cost-efficient over time. However it's not unthinkable that a predator could fuck up with teleportation spells... last thing I'd want would be a canopy fairy deciding that my life's work was best served sending well-meaning people into her stomach. That'd be enough for me to actually forget everything I tell myself every day about the risk of revenge, the lack of entitlement to people's lives, the moral high ground, the difference between us and them... I'd tear off the bitch's throat on the spot and then burn her wings, only after she's died a swift, painful, and panicking death, just to be contrary. It'd have to be a swift death, because if I started drawing it long, I'd never feel satisfied enough to finish it. And it'd come back to bite me in the ass one day.

I'd advise the man to strap himself loaded with C4 before teleporting. Even if it doesn't kill predators (which is contingent on the predator's endurance, by the way; some have burst like balloons and some just burped), C4 is still pretty unpleasant in the intestines and doesn't digest well. Even in Felarya. I checked. Twice. Just to avoid possible teleportation-induced detonation (which is unheard of but there's always a first time), maybe we could make it a binary liquid that must be mixed together before being an explosive. Or something else, because inducing a combination by teleporting is far more popular than inducing a detonation that way.

PLAN 5- Breeding Program

On the honored traditions of eugenics and slavery, I believe it's possible to engineer a lifeform that's capable of helping humans do to Felarya what they've done to everywhere else, or at least, help them be a bit safer. However, I don't know how much potential does this idea hold. Only that it feels wrong and yet right at the same time.
Since it's impossible to grant ourselves the senses of a predator, we could resort to creating a new species that has senses capable of finding predators (and warn those around itself about them) before it's found by them, also making this breed friendly to humans. Matter of fact, I wonder if there is no such critter already, only with enough common sense to recognize and avoid our doomed presences.
I believe hunting dogs would be a good place to start. Many varieties of hounds have already senses capable of tracking their loved ones anywhere; were it possible to magically enhance them, help them understand what a naga or fairy is, and what danger does it represent, we'd probably have the best of friends among us.

On a sidenote, I've heard something about a Felaryan breed, which oddly enough resembles a young woman except for the ears and tail, but if they wanted to be found we'd have found them already. I've never met a single dog-girl, and besides, the rumors say that the few confirmed sightings include one gulping nekos down until her belly was three times her size, also chaining giant nagas and disciplining them, not to mention controlling the earth beneath our feet, with agility and skill in battle even beyond that of elves. I've also heard it's human-sized... and that's only the one that's shown herself the most, the most being "a couple times". There are others, obviously, that left no survivors.

Obviously this is a giant breed that's probably the most dangerous of predators, capable of sniffing its prey farther even than Crisis herself, relentless in its tracking, cunning beyond even the worst among us, capable of commanding giant nagas and probably other predators even (How!? Psychic powers, maybe?), obviously size-shifting, with skill in battle that would suggest each has CENTURIES of training, in turn suggesting an EXTREMELY high survival rate, and with an infinite appetite that keeps us from having any survivors with solid information on them, despite the fact that Negav has been collecting information for very, very long. That in turn suggests an antimagic stomach and probably an attitude against taking prisoners, or else a wizard would've found a way out even after meeting her.
I can't even hear the name Reiko without shuddering... wherever she is, I hope we never meet. She is probably the most dangerous predator in Felarya, and I wonder if even the so-called guardians are a match for her. Probably not. Maybe she doesn't exist, but I'd rather err on the side of caution. I spend several hours a day trying to find a way to defeat her, and my only clue is that I'm outmatched in every possible way. I wonder if her size-changing magic is tied to her tail or ears? I'd sooner not win by permanently crippling my opponent, but she maybe regenerates. I have to plan for the case she does. I wonder if I'm overestimating her? Probably not. I thought I was overestimating Crisis and we all know how that went... but I'm digressing, Lord Warrior.

Breeding a new breed of dog for your kennels seems like a good idea to me, but it's an exceedingly long-term plan.

Godspeed,

Locust.

When you first mentioned a ring of sustenance the first thing that came to my head was a circle of villages set up around the Giant Tree to keep Crisis full.... O.o