Tommaru DarkKnight (10 years past) (still at work)

]Name:Tommaru DarkKnight

Known as: Tammo

Age: 16

birth day: 4-1-2004

Gender: male

Height: 5 feet and 3 inches

Species: Human

Birth Parents: Dead

Adopted Parent: Azriela and Arcide DarkKnight

Kin: Dead

Home: Distroyed


Interests

Likes: being out side, swiming at the beach or relax in a hot spring he loves when Arcides his father teaches him some New move

Dislikes: being alone, cabbage, and vegitables except, when it's mixed with fruit and it'd jucies

Food Chain:

Fruits: Grape fruit, Apples, Tomatos, etc.

grilled meat: Chickan, fish, and beef

Vegetables: Carrots, lettus and Etc. (but like I said he wants it to be mixed with fruit)

Abilites:

Weapons:

History:

Peronality:

Mute: He speaks little to no word

Over protective

Obsevent





Apearents:

Hair color-Red

Eye color-blue

skin collor-pale white

style of hair- all down but short

Body style- slim but Musculent

Oh-ho-ho, what have we here on this fine day? Oi? Shinggaku has posted another one of his infamous character bios? Very well then, these things seem to be pretty talked about amongst the forumites, so I may as well finally have a look for myself.

...

....

....


Oh. My. Science.


My fair man, we have our fair share of non-English native speakers amongst our ranks, but never before have I seen such apparently exaggerated Engrish as the variety displayed here before me. Quite frankly, very little of your statements make any coherent sense, and those that do are shredded caricatures of what I do think used to be actual words.

"Home-Distroyed

I laughed.


The same horrendous spelling is featured throughout. Also, bio isn't even finished, so deeming it a "bio" is being as generous as possible. I do hope you make the conscious decision to improve some time, I really, really do.

Food Chain:

Grapes: Red and green
and
Fruits: Grape fruit,

grilled meat: Chickan, fish, and beef

Vegetables: Carrots, lettus and Etc. (but like I said he wants it to be mixed with fruit)


Are you even trying anymore? What the hell do grapes have to do with this character?

Moreover, what does this character have to do with Felarya?

I don't understand at all.

You need add things for facial description or whatever like:

eye color

hair color

yada yada so i at least have a vivid picture of what i'm supposed to be looking at.

If anything, get it at least half done, and use a few less spaces between your words
And I agree... are grapes really that significant? o _o

THIS HAS MORE ABOUT WHAT GRAPES LOOK LIKE THAN WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!!!!!!!!!

I know this is incomplete.... but your priorities must be.... yeah...



Now, I'm willing to try and help, God knows why. First exercise.

1) Describe to us, (In readable English, preferably); How is this character different from the last one?

Well He's Human for once

He's basicaly Naga Food or etc

I am going to add an eliment weapon to him that gose with his Kicking anillity

Tommaru is a good kicker nothing special

and almost everyone was making a big deal about his food chain and more on so I thought might of just give him the normal diet of a human being

Besides you see the big .........BIG space in his bio so that should tell people that it's not finish

Ohh and one thing as well this was a bio for another Role play form but he was a 6 year old so im making inprovements just to let other's know

Alright. Stuff like weapons and fighting style actually don't matter as much in creating a character. That's just extraneous stuff that comes later. I don't think you've really got how to make a proper character.

Okay, here's another assignment. Go to the Felarya wiki. Look at the bios of people there - even main characters - Crisis, Anna, etc. Now - what is different between those bios and this... thing?

Yeah, pretty much what everyone said; try and paint a picture with words. I can't picture the character's abilities until I can picture the character himself. Tell us his hair color, skintone, eye color, body shape, choice of clothing, etc. Until then, its status as a bio is rather questionable.

Ok I see were your getting at

Ok Im working on his apearnce and his personality