Fairies, Booze and Skevols. *Chap 3 up.

This is the next story I am writing. It carries on from The Quest for an Answer. You could say that "The Quest for an Answer" is a prologue to this story. This story is hopefully gonna be better written, more entertaining, longer and regularly updated. I'd say 1 new chapter in the space of two weeks every time.

So sit back, read and then comment and review. I'm no attention seeker, but seeing some feedback to your work makes it all worthwhile.

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Meet the Fairies


"Ok sooo..." Mort scratched his head and stared at the vague directions written on a piece of paper. "Negav is this way?" He said to himself, pointing over yonder.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he began to walk in the direction he had pointed. Hours and hours he had been walking through the dense jungle bush and it never seemed to end. His feet crunched through grass and bushes and low branches flew in all directions as he hacked them out of his way using his, now blunt, sword. His once white and flawless shirt and baggy trousers were now covered in assorted greenery and had been cut to ribbons by sharp thorns. The heat didn't help either. Rose had given him 80 assorted coins that he had never seen before. Even if he got there, paying for stuff was going to be awkward. On and on he walked, with no sign of Negav. After a few more minutes he stopped and leaned against a tree. Was this supposed to be such a difficult trip? If Negav is such a big city then where the hell is the road leading to it?

Mort pondered these questions and more, as he caught his breath. But he forgot all about those questions when he noticed a small clearing to his left. A large pond, or maybe lake was a better word, was slap bang in the middle of it. Its clear waters and shimmering surface looked out of place in this grimy jungle. He headed towards it in the hope that he would be able to wash his battered body and caught sight of something even more fascinating. A naked woman emerged from the lake, followed by another and then another. Mort saw no clothes laid out anywhere so these 3 women must usually be naked! Just like the snake people back in the village. Even more suprising were the fragile looking wings that protruded from each of their backs. How very odd. Maybe these strange naked women knew the way to Negav?

Mort emerged from the trees and approached them cautiously. They looked harmless, but he knew that not everything was as it seemed in this place. All of the women had blue hair, an odd color, and a pair of wings on their backs.

"Excuse me ladies. But.... do any of you happen to know the way to Negav?"

All three of the mysterious women suddenly whipped around to face him. Clearly he had caught them off gaurd. They had their war faces on for a second, however, they relaxed when they realised he was human.
One of them, the tallest, turned to her friends and spoke with a soft voice.

"Well what do we have here girls? A lost boy in the wilderness. All alone and without a clue. How sad." She turned back to him. "You MUST be new here human. Otherwise you would know what we are and you would have kept your distance. But its too late now. Far too late."

Mort was unnerved by her words. It was obviously a bad idea to have approached them.

"What are you talking about? Do you know the way to Negav or not?"

"Awwww how cute. He doesn't understand what I mean girls, he must be REALLY new." She licked her lips. "Nice and fresh..."

Suddenly, one of the other women interrupted her.

"Wait, do we really have to eat him? The poor guy looks so frightened. Besides, we all just ate anyway so..."

"We need to catch all prey that pass through here!"

"But..."

As the women argued with each other. Mort just stood there in shock. He had just realised what she was talking about and he was starting to panic. Was every inhabitant of this place a voracious predator!? While they were occupied he slowly walked backwards towards the trees and as soon as he hit the cover of the canopy of leaves he turned his walk into a sprint and rocketed off into the jungle. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him and then, when his legs could carry him no more, he took cover under a tree and caught his breath. He had successfully lost them. Breathing a sigh of relief he took out the piece of paper and resumed his journey.

After walking for a few more hours he finally caught sight of Negav. He sprinted the last part of the journey and then looked at the sprawling metropolis of Negav. He had finally made it. He entered the city and was in awe. Hundreds of humans, cat-like people and various other creatures filled the streets. Night was falling, so Mort searched for an Inn. He found one fairly quickly. The sign above the door read: "The Silver Naga".

He pushed open the wooden door and found that the Inn was packed. Nearly every table was taken. All manner of people sat around them, drinking, smoking and swapping stories. Sounds of merry people laughing and singing filled his ears and the smell of alcohol, sweat and stale urine assualted his nostrils. Poorly made statues of nagas covered in silver paint decorated the room. Mort expected everyone to burst out laughing when they saw the tattered remains of his clothes. But to his suprise noone even looked at him twice. He made his way through the drunkards and found an empty seat at the bar. The barkeep, a muscly and hairy man, wandered over to him.

"What can a' get ya' laddie?"

Mort responded quickly. "How much for a bed for the night?"

"Depends." Grunted the man.

"Depends on what?" Asked Mort

"It 'pends on what kinda cash ya' got on ya'. Theres many kinds in Felarya. Name the kind ya' got and I can give ya' a price."

Mort reached into his satchel and fished out the handful of coins that Rose had given him.

"Ahhh. Skevols. 2 a' those should do tha trick. We gots a special offer goin' on right na. Rent a bed and get 'alf a tankard of cheap booze free. What can 'a get for ya'?"

He handed over his money and asked the barkeep to pick a drink for him. As he was pouring the drink, the bartender inquired about Mort's current state.

"Ya look like ya've ad' quite a rough journey. What 'appened to ya' clothes?"

Mort took his drink and downed it in seconds. It burned his throat and put him an even worse mood so he decided to give the barkeep the quick version.

"Basically I've been walking through that god damn jungle all day to get here, thorns cut the fuck out of my clothes and I narrowly avoided being eaten by a trio of winged, naked cannibal bitches!" He slammed his tankard down in anger. "Thats what bloody happened."

The barkeeper looked a little shocked. "Ya' tellin' me that ya' hiked through that jungle for hours, alone and with inappropriate clothes and thats all that happened too ya'? Ya' lucky ya' aint' in tha belly of one a' those fairies ya' mentioned."

"Fairies?" Mort asked.

"Yeah, ya' know. Naked gals with wings. They is good at shapechangin' magic. They can change the size a' themselves and even their prey. Didn't ya' know that?"

He went pale at the thought of how close he had come to being eaten. Again. "No I didn't." He shook his empty tankard at the barkeep. "Give me another one of these." Mort knew that drinking was bad but he needed to relax right now. He could wait till tommorow to worry about getting back to the village.

As far as real things I could pick on here, there are very few issues worth being critical about. One thing that seems to have effectively reduced the amount you could have put into the story detail wise was your use of short time skips. A lot can occur in the course of hours, especially given the context, and unless you're nearing the point of purple prose, more description usually equates to a better story overall. Secondly, just as is the case with Mordor, I'd imagine, one does not simply walk into Negav. If the isolon eye was not enough to deter most predatory species then I'd think there would be some sort of examination of all things coming into the city, just as a security measure. Precautions such as that would likely be the standard in Felarya. That being said though, it was nice overall and I'm actually interested enough to want to read further of my own free will, which isn't normally the case given my laze.

Thanks for the criticism Warrior. I'm aware that I have a tendency to skip over non essential things that could lead to a more descriptive story. I hope to get control of that as I write more. But its nice you like it. Another thing I need to stop is the way I write stories. I wrote this chapter in one sitting which is probably the root of many of my descriptive problems. Practice makes perfect though right? Perfection is actually impossible to achieve but I can come close... eventually.

Also, Chuck Norris. He simply walks into Mordor.

It's starting nicely
My only remark is on the rythm and how you take the time to describe certain things and yet pass on some others rather quickly ( like here his approch of Negav ). But besides that the story is flowing well and I'm curious where it will go ^^

As the others have said, some of the transitions were a little abrupt, but other than that this isn't a bad start.

Hidden Agenda

Light silently creeped in through the muck smeared bedroom window as the sun rose the next morning. Mort slowly opened his eyes and sat up groggily. His blurry tunnel vision eventually adjusted to the room he was in. It was a small room. Barely big enough to fit the grimy single bed he was sat in. The walls were covered in plain white wallpaper, very old and peeling wallpaper that was more yellow and green than white. The floor was dusty and had no carpet. The floorboards, complete with protruding rusty nails, could easily be seen. The only other thing in the room was a small wooden chest for people to put their belongings. Except the hinges on this chest were rusty and the lid wouldn't shut properly because of it. Oh and don't forget the rats that occasionally scurried out from under the bed.

He blinked rapidly and shook his head. It was going to be a looooong day. He stepped out of the bed, careful to avoid the nails, and was suddenly hit by a wave of nausea, followed by a searing pain in his head. It felt like his brain was being melted in a furnace. He panicked for a second, believing Urael to be attempting to take over for the first time since he arrived. But he calmed down when he realised the pain was different. Usually the pain would feel like his brain was expanding an impossible amount. But this time it was just a burning pain. After putting on his tattered clothes, he buckled his sword to his belt and slung his sachel over his shoulder. They felt a bit lighter than usual, but he assumed that was due to the fatigue he was feeling. He then made his way, extremely shakily, downstairs to the bar.

The bar was pretty empty compared to last night. Only one table was taken. A man dressed in typical peasant clothes was sat alone sipping from a small cup. Mort made his way over to the bar, bumping into a few tables in the process, and sat down. The barkeeper approached him and could barely conceal his smile.

"Ya' look like ya' had a rough night lad. Not suprisin' after the amount you drank last night." His smile widened and he spoke with a hint of anticipation. "So did ya' get lucky with that lass you went up with? She was really up for it she was. Woulda taken her myself if she didn't already have her eyes fixed on ya'."

Mort looked back at him, bewildered. "What are you talking about? I don't remember anyone like that."

"Ya' mean ya' don't remember?" He gasped. "How could ya' possibly forget about a good lookin' bird like that? She looked smokin' hot lad. In 'er tight leather outfit, 'er awesome tits and 'er cute furry black ears."

He thought about asking the guy what the hell he meant when he said "Furry black ears" But he realised that she was probably one of those cat-people he saw on the way in.

"Don't you remember? You had about 3 drinks when she walked into the bar. Turned everyones head she did. No one could take their eyes off 'er. For some reason she took one look at you and sat down next to ya'. She bought ya' drinks all night. Ya' flirted and kissed, and I swear I saw 'er tongue go in ya' mouth. Then she finally took ya' upstairs to ya' room. Good lord how could ya' forget THAT!?"

Mort was so confused. The last thing he could remember was asking for a second drink. He put his head in his hands and sighed. What the hell happened last night?

"Hey do you know any good stores for cheap but decent clothes around here? I need to replace these ones real soon."

He reached into his satchel and rummaged around for the coins Rose had given him. He wanted to check how many he had after last night. But to his horror, he felt nothing inside of his satchel! Nothing! Everything in his satchel was missing! He desperately double checked but everything was still gone. He reached for his sword but he found that only the scabbard hung from his belt. His sword, his assorted nick nacks, his skevols and most importantly, the book!

"Ya' lost somethin'?" Inquired the barkeeper.

"Yes I have!" Replied a furious Mort. "All my possesions are gone! How could this have happened?"

"Ya' talkin' about that fancy book and sword of yours?" He replied. "That gal left with 'em real early this morning. She told me that ya' gave them to 'er as thanks for such a wild night."

"And you believed her!?"

"Well... yeah. Why should I have not believed her? Her excuse was solid enough. That and she was pressing those possesions of yours against her massive tits. Oh no I didn't miss that part..."

Mort let out a roar of anger. It was one thing after another wasn't it? First he arrives on a strange world, avoids being eaten, dies, avoids being eaten AGAIN, makes his way through the harsh jungle, avoids being eaten yet again and now, to top off a truly shitty 24 hours, some bitch has made off with all his stuff! Leaving him stranded in the middle of a strange city with no cash, no weapon, no food. Nothing! He had to track her down.

"Did she ever tell you her name? What exactly did she look like? Where was she going?..."

"Whoa hold yer horses kid. You need ta calm down if ya' wanna catch this gal. I'll tell ya' what I know. She were pretty tall, bout as tall as you, she 'ad a black 'n' red leather outfit on with these weird symbols and she 'ad black cat ears. Oh and absolutely massive ti..."

SHUT UP ABOUT HER BREASTS ALREADY!" He inturrupted. "Tell me more about these symbols. What did they look like?

They were both silent for a while, and then he finally spoke in a soft whisper.

"Well, it aint my policy to give customers information 'bout other people. But imma gonna help ya' out. Those markings yer so interested in are the markings of a local cult around here. Now, Negav is a wild place and cults aint that uncommon 'round 'ere. But these guys are really into their stuff. I mean real crazy like. There is even rumours that they kidnap people and sacrifice 'em, but there aint no solid proof of that so no one notices."

"I see." Replied Mort. "Well I guess I'm heading after that woman. I doubt she left the city."

He stood up and was heading out the door when the barkeeper stopped him.

"Hey wait! Don't cross that cult kid. They are a bad lot. I 'erd they worship a demon. A real bloodthirsty one that likes sacrifices. So stay out of their way as much as possible ok?"

He smiled at the man and nodded. "Will do, thanks for the advice barkeep!"

"Its Griff to you lad." Replied Griff. "Griff Fertrat is ma name."

He nodded again and walked out into the bustling crowd of people. Negav was so big. He had no idea where to start looking. Pushing his way through the sea of people, he decided to look for any nearby abandoned buildings or something. He imagined that was where a cult would probably hide out. Meanwhile, back inside "The Silver Naga", Griff buried his face in his oddly hairy palms and sighed. The lone man sitting at the back of the room stood up immedietly after Mort left, walked up to the bar, threw a few coins at Griff, grunted and sat down. They both looked at each other for well over 3 minutes. Then the man finally said something.

"You know what will happen now don't you Griff?"

Griff sighed again and said in a pleading voice. "Come on Herlan. Leave tha' kid alone. He is not a threat to us."

"Griff he is looking for Natasha. That means he is looking for us. Do you remember the blood oath you swore when you joined? No one must find out our goal. We MUST stop anyone who dares to seek us out, lest they learn the truth about us."

Herlan pulled up his sleeve to reveal a sinister tattoo, identical to the ones Natasha wore, and also identical to the one that Griff concealed on his lower back.

"We must find that kid. We must bring him back to the sanctuary. And we must sacrifice him in order to please our lord."

Griff solemnly replied, voice as blank and emotionless as a robot. "Yes. For our lord."

mhh quite a change of tone here ^^
the obsessed bartender made me chucklle XP

Sorry about the lack of posting but I'm trying to get an anime club set up at my school. Even in 6th form do you know how much of a bitch that is? Damn near all of England doesn't even know what anime is! >_> I haven't given up on this story though and I will get back to posting ASAP.

The Pit



"Hello there young man. It seems like you definately need some new clothes! Come inside my store! I have the best prices in Negav!"

Mort ignored the shop advertiser and continued to wander through the markets of Lower Negav. He had no idea where to start looking, and he actually did need some new clothes. These tattered rags did little to keep him warm. But whatever money he had was now in the possession of a thief. So he needed to find the cultist woman/cat-woman that Griff had described. What a mess.

He pushed and shoved his way through the thick, bustling morning crowd and continued to wander the streets. Where to begin in a place as huge as this? The city was beautiful, an architectural marvel. But there were SO many people crammed into this city. Understandable. Who wouldn't want to live here? Safe from the voracious fuana beyond the walls. But if they needed more space, why dont they expand the city? Perhapts doing that would attract the attention of more predators? He didn't know.

Adventurers seemed to dominate this tier of Negav. The streets were flooded with them. There were mages, swordsman, archers, gunmen, and many other hero looking types. The shops and restaraunts all seemed to cater for adventurers. Who else would be able to buy several weapons at a time? Maybe some of these guys were regulars to Negav and could give him some more info?

He spotted a middle aged adventurer leaning against a wall by himself. He wasn't doing much, just leaning and watching the crowd go by. He wore a very battlescarred platesteel suit along with two extremely well used swords that hung from his hip. His hair was short, dark red and messy. Full of grit and dirt. His tanned skin looked the same, he probably hadn't washed in weeks.

"Excuse me?" Said a cautious Mort "But could you help me? I need to find someone but I don't know my way around."

The grizzled adventurer didn't even look at him when he replied in a weary voice.

"Who?"

"I don't know her name but she wore black leather and had these cat ears..."

"Sounds like a thief to me." The man interuppted. "Thieves thrive like a disease down in the pit. You should probably start looking there. But from the looks of you, I doubt you would last five minutes. Go home kid, whatever the lady took from you, its not worth dying over."

"What is the pit?" Asked Mort curiously.

"You don't know what the pit is? Wow I overestimated you before. You probably wouldn't last 5 seconds on your own." He lit up what looked like a cigarette and took a long draw before continuing. "I can see you are too stubborn to listen to reason, but its your life not mine. The pit is underneath the city, in the Negav underground. Trust me kid, you'll know it when you see it. Its called the pit for more than one reason."

"Ok thanks for the help. Erm... can you point me in the right direction?"

The adventurer sighed deeply and motioned to his right. "Just keep going down that street till you hit the cafe with a blue moon sign and then take a left and follow that street until you reach the entrance to the underground. Its not rocket science kid. Oh and take this."

The veteran whipped out one of the swords that was hanging from his belt and handed it over. It was pretty ordinary really, no special markings nor any extraordinary craftsmanship. Just a regular steel shortsword. It was heavily nicked all over the blade and hilt and was rusty in a few places.

"That sword may not look like much kid, but that thing has killed more people and native fauna than I can count. And saved my life a few times to boot. I was going to to retire her soon actually. I'm getting too old to be a merc now."

"Thanks" Mort replied as he turned away from the man and walked in the direction he had told him to go.

Down the street he went, admiring the various shops, cafes and stalls selling all kinds of goods ranging from plain linen cloth to rare magical gemstones. But after reaching the cafe and taking a left, things gradually got more and more quiet. Adventurers seemed to stop appearing. And then, as he reached the entrance to Negav underground and went deeper, the architecture got worse and worse. The bricks were crumbly and mouldy and the streets were not much better off either. And then finally, he saw it.

The Pit. A vast cavern with an unthinkably deep hole dug deep into the earth. Filled with shanty shacks of different shapes and sizes. They were crowded together incredibly tightly. So tightly that some shacks were located on the walls of the gigantic cavern. Some even protruded from the ceiling! The air hung with the stench of the dead and dying and constant chattering filled his ears. Along with screams and the sounds of objects being broken. The adventurer wasn't kidding when he said that he would know it when he saw it. The only building that seemed stable was a temple in the middle of the chaotic mess of shacks. It radiated sunlight throughout the cavern during the day. Mort didn't really understand how.

Descending into the pit, the smell and noise was amplified and he couldn't walk forward 2 steps without bumping into someone or stepping in something foul. He ignored it though, and made his way through the maze of shacks and people, looking for somewhere that could serve as a thief's hideout. But after walking through the slums for hours, no shack stood out from the rest. Peopl had tried to mug him several times but shied away when they saw his sword and he saw countless people dressed even worse than he was, scavenging for scraps in the filth. By now, he was caked in the foulest sludge imaginable, his rags providing no protection. At least he would blend in. Looking how he did, no one would notice him in a crowd. But suddenly, the light radiating from the temple began to fade away. It was getting closer to night time it seemed. However, anyone that noticed the fading light stopped walking and started running back towards their home. Clearly noone wanted to be outside at night and it wasn't hard to understand why. The light dimmed more and more until the cavern was shrouded in near pitch darkness.

Silence. Everyone was in their home by now and none dared make a sound. Only frightened whispers could be heard from the shacks that surrounded him. Mort had no clue what to do now. He had no shack here, and he would never find his way out of the pit in such utter darkness. But suddenly, such trivial thoughts darted from his mind and were replaced with a sound he just heard. Footsteps. Slow and heavy, crunching through the debris on the floor. There were many different sets of footsteps. None of them seemed to be in a hurry, and were headed straight for him. He clutched the battered sword he had been given and backed up against the wall of a shack. A dim light appeared from around the corner. Several lights that originated from several lanterns. The light illuminated the people who carried the lanterns. They were all dressed in black leather, adorned with several red symbols. And they all carried a set of sinister looking daggers on their belts. A woman stepped forward and spoke in soft but vicious tone.

"So, I hear you are quite the persistent one aren't you? You just couldn't leave it alone could you? You just had to come looking for us. And now you have found us, and I ask. What will you do now? Strike us all down with that sword of yours and reclaim your possesions? Well, we can't have that now can we? Griff, Harlan. Now!"

Two men rushed forward and extended their fingers towards him and then quickly closed them into a box. Suddenly, Mort felt ropes bind his hands and feet together, making him drop his sword. But when he franticaly looked down, there were no ropes there! He struggled with all his strength but the invisible binds wouldn't budge. Collapsing on the floor he felt more ropes bind his entire body.

"Wha- What are you doing!? What is this!"

The woman chuckled. "Oh you don't know? Come on now, surely you know we are using dark magic against you. I studied your book and sword in detail. The book I couldn't read but it still tells me that you were interested in dark practices. I wouldn't be suprised if you could cast this same spell we are using now. But you wont be doing anything at all now will you? Griff, shut him up."

"But- But I-..." He studied the woman in more detail. She had black cat ears, black leather and massive...
"YOU!" He gasped. Wait. Did he just hear her say Griff? A burly figure approached him holding a club.

"Griff, you too!? I... But.... Why!?"

The figure didn't answer and knelt down next to the immobilised Mort and raised his club. And then smashed it into Mort's head repeatedly. Again and again and again and again. Then the group dragged his unconcious body towards their hideout. Where they had even more planned for him.

(Finally posted! I failed at setting the anime club up... I tried though and thats all that counts. Oh well, at least I can get back to posting more often. I have already started writing the next one! )

Not a single comment? I am disapoint... Oh well, I'm still writing the next one regardless.

Sorry about that. The funny thing is that I have read part 1 of your story and was going to comment but I decided to wait until I was caught up instead. I thought the first was pretty good. I'll comment more as I get caught up.

Man, that obsessed bartender has some potential. I've got to have a few of my characters drop by The Silver Naga sometime. Maybe Rhea... that oughta be fun