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+4W-3-K jedi-explorer parameciumkid Amaroq 8 posters | Author | Message |
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Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Dalia, the Inu Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:52 am | |
| Here's also an updated version of her Bio, more or less aligned to the Wiki standards and with her recent character development considered. Name: Dalia Species: Inu Age: 27 Sex: Female Height: 5 feet 8 Inches Fur colour: Brown Skin colour: Pale Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Red Other characteristics: White tips on ears and tail. Has slits as pupils instead of circles. Predation: Reluctant to Opportunistic Food category: 1-5 inches. As an Inu, Dalia has a overall, 5'8" tall, adult human body and a few doglike features. Dalia, like most Felaryans, sports a pretty nicely composed shape and is being considered attractive to Inu and most human standards, even though she may not be the prettiest woman around. Her Arms and legs are relatively thin, so are her hips, giving Dalia an overall long appearance, even though the legs still do seem athletic and somewhat muscular, thus proving Dalia to be a very good and ongoing runner. Her tender hands and cute feet seem to be a bit bigger than average. Also rather special are Dalia's eyes. While the red colour isn't all that rare, her pupils resemble that of a Snake or possibly Naga. While they contribute to no special function on their own, it appears to be related to some ancestor of her. Beneath her eyes are a relatively small nose and mouth. However, if she wants, Dalia can fit much more into that mouth of hers than you would expect. Dalias long hair and fur are light brown coloured with a slight hint of red while the tips of her ears and her tail are completely white. While she doesn't have human ears, they are replaced by the Inu-typical canine ears that stand up from the top of her head in a slight angle. Her fluffy tail is about as long as her legs and feet, so if she stretched it straight down, her tail would just barely touch the ground. Personality: Dalia is very proud of her appearance. She likes to tease people especcially with her tail (and thus leaving her scent on them) and well built legs, but she's not slutty or anything like that. Because even despite her proud, sometimes plain arrogant behaviour, Dalia has some sort of high sense of moral and considers herself to be a lawful good person. Among other Inu's, Dalia is a pretty open minded and friendly person. She tries to be like a best friend to the ones she likes, though her intention often is unanswered and many people find her nature plain annoying, because she's kind of clinging as hell, following or talking to random people, just because they smell nice or seem to hide a interesting background. This, along with that fact that Dalia naturally smells a little bit like a dog, especcially when she's wet, gave her a more or less pretty bad reputation in her hometown Negav and so Dalia is more interested in new people like Adventurers who come to a halt in Negav and often have something new to tell. Dalia is very curious about their stories, she likes to hear about places she hasn't seen before and just loves to discover new things, even though she keeps forgetting about half the things she just found out, so one may easily call her a little bit absent minded and easily distracted as well. Towards human and other races Dalia tends to be a little more on the dominant side, often stating that she's a superior being due to the fact that, according to her beliefs, Inus have all the strengths of a human body plus a few advantages on top of them. While that is not entirely true, Dalia doesn't really care about the potential drawbacks that come with being an Inu. One couldn't call her entirely racist, but she does in fact look down on people of other heritage until they have proven themselves or have something really interesting to provide, be it some special feature or an adventurous backstory. One could say that Dalia seems to be overly emotion-driven since she can be easily manipulated by her feelings if someone knows about that weakness. She does lack self control, which may possibly be an exquisite feature in bed, but proves to be impractical in her daily life. Dalia is a really social Inu and when she's all alone or treated badly, she seems to wither like a dried out flower. Because of this Dalia usually tries to always have some company around her. It happened a few times already that the Inu just decided to follow an adventurer into the jungles to accompany them on their quest, whether he asked for it or not. This doesn't always come in handy, as Dalia is easily frightened and she has a habit to just flee when a Predator appears that seems to be a bit too dangerous. So Dalia is everything but reliable in combat. But up until that point one may consider Dalia as a helpful companion that you can not only trust but also one that takes care of your wellbeing by enchanting your equipment with some more or less useful spells, as well as cooking for you. Daily Life: Dalia is running two adjacent stores in the outer ring of Negav, known as "eat and defeat". While the left store is some sort of small restaurant, the other one is a weapon store. The latter doesn't sell actual weapons, but instead a customer is supposed to bring his weapon with him and give it to Dalia. She will then try to enchant that weapon for a price. While Dalia has a stock of relatively secure enchantments which work everytime as intended, one may also ask her for a more specialized enchantment. those are usually of a better quality, but since Dalia doesn't use them very often, she sometimes mixes up a few runes or spells or materials, causing the enchantment to change. Even though the enchantment will still work as intended, more or less, it may have a few extra features that help or hinder you while using this enchanted weapon and thus you may get much more than you've asked for. There have been cases where someone just wanted a flaming enchantment on their dagger and later they got a eversharp blade covered in pitch black flames that never cease to burn. But as with most about Dalia, these enchantments are best described as random and sometimes your weapon even didn't change at all until it literally exploded in combat. Luckily for her, Adventurers who suffer from those very rare bad enchantments don't survive long enough to spread the rumors. Her restaurant is a bit more popular and it sometimes confuses people that Dalia is running both stores on her own. The food smells and tasts really nice and is widely known for its quality, even though it is rumored that Dalia actually uses magic to enhance the taste of her food. That becomes just too obvious when Dalia tries out a new, unknown enchantment on the food, causing the customer to puke, mutate, teleport or disappear right away. Fortunately for her, there are few to no rumors about these incidents because most people don't react to her food when they eat it, but rather later during digestion. Hunting habits: Like most Inu, Dalia is a completely opportunistic omnivore. Sometimes she may trade food like a good old steak for money or items, another day she has to go outside into the jungle and search for something to eat by herself, indulging her lust for adventure. When hunting, Dalia tries to be stealthy until she spots an animal of her choice, usually rabbits or other small beings but also animals up to horse-size. After she spottet it, she will try to get as close as possible, which is sorta far away because of her own strong scent. As soon as her prey seems to notice her, Dalia either uses her bow in order to hit from afar or runs straight towards her target, ringing her modified version of one of Gunthers Escape Bells until it teleports her right next to her prey. Additional to being super-fast this method of teleportation often suprises her victim, giving Dalia an opening to attack with a Dagger. If that doesn't work she'd fight the animal by using her Dagger, hands, feet and even fangs in close combat. Abilities: As an Inu Dalia has a very good nose as well as very good ears. Like almost all Inus she can use her nose and ears to the extent of having a complete sheme of the world around her, just by analyzing their smell and sounds. She may smell some food or danger from a few miles away and may act according to it. All of this goes at the cost of her sight, though. Since an Inus eyes are pretty weak she can't see very good at long distances. Adding to that, she is also colourblind which annoys her to the point of going into some rage mode if you ever mention how pretty the colour red is (since she can't see any red at all) NEVER make a comment like "you have such wonderful red eyes" to her or you get yourself killed! Well... almost... But it'll still hurt! As an inu Dalia is a very good and long lasting runner, she has an endurance to follow her prey over miles without starting to sweat. It is pretty much needed though since she may not be the fastest or strongest huntress around, so mostly Dalia has to rely on her stamina and the work of her magical items in order to exhaust her prey. Dalia is a very good cook and her meals are preferred by almost anyone who ever ate it. At least, if their food didn't have some weird enchantment on it... Because she is a decent enchantress and knows a few little tricks, mostly involving enchantments of existing items since her magic is still too weak to work on its own. With that it seems only natural that Dalia is capable of enchanting weapons to use in a fight or for sale at her store. They only have a little amount of magical power compared to the legendary weapons of great mages, but their effects still come in handy and Dalias work is popular enough for her to make a living. She can also alter and possibly improve already existing enchantments. One of them has originally been one of Gunthers escape bells. Usually you ring it and after a few moments the magic is charged up and teleports you to a place you want. However, it wouldn't have been a "Gunthers" Item if there wasn't any disadvantage to it, since the bell rang out loud and its effect would be set into motion at a random time. Thanks to Dalias Enchantments she got rid of that extremely loud ringing, making it a quiet little ringing instead and the teleportation kicks in more often, though it is still a little unreliable. However, when Dalia is traveling or hunting she has this bell exposed, letting it swing from side to side the whole time as she runs towards her destination or after her prey. Knowing she has lots of stamina, she just has to follow her prey and keep an eye on it, until at a point that bells effect will be charged up and teleport her into the desired direction or some safe place if she needs to escape. If she doesn't need the bell, she usually stores it inside one of her pouches to keep the bell from swinging in order to prevent unintentional usage or making noises. - Old_Post:
There's some point in the life of many characters where they grow a bit and the creator finds out that they act different from what the creator intended in the first place. Sometimes characters define their personality on their own and thus develop. I think that exactly this thing happened with my Inu Dalia so I wanted to rework her Bio and also the thread since the last one got off topic after a short while. I think she's a bit more mature and fleshed out now, I also got rid of some flaws and unnecessary traits she never really showed anyway. Say Hello again to Dalia! :3 (pictures made by me ^.^)Name: Dalia Species: Inu Sex: Female Height: 5'8 feet Hair: light Brown with a hint of red Eyes: reddish brown Fur (on tail): light brown with a hint of red, white tips on ears and tail Predation: ReluctantFood category: 1-6 inches Likes: Playing around, being petted, Discovering something new, smells and tastes, growing eatable plants like Mushroms, cooking Dislikes: chocolate (it's poison to her!), being colorblind, the colour red (since she can't see it), unfriendly people Favourite Food: Doesn't matter as long as its tasty! (Mostly anything she cooked, except for fish) Location: Differs, she may be actually anywhere due to her teleportation magic (as shown below), usually in Negav where she has her home and shops. AppearanceDalia looks like most Inus do: She has a overall, 5'8" tall, adult human body and a few wolf/dog-features. Let's take a look at her human body portion first: Dalia has, like most Felaryans, a pretty nicely composed shape and is being considered attractive to most other Inus and even some humans, even though she may not be the prettiest girl around her body, looking as if she was at her mid-twenties, still has its own charms. Her Arms and legs are relatively thin, so are her hips, giving Dalia a overall thin and long appearance, even though the legs still do seem athletic and somewhat muscular, thus prooving that Dalia is a very good and ongoing runner. Her tender hands and cute feet seem to be a bit bigger than average but are still well shaped and pretty, just like the red-brown eyes that hold her slit-shaped pupils, even though the latter may seem a bit creepy if you look at them in some sort of twilight. Beneath her eyes are a relatively small nose and mouth, however, if she wants, Dalia can fit much more into that mouth of hers than you would expect! Dalias long hair and fur are light brown coloured with a slight hint of red/orange while the tips of her ears and her tail are completely white. That colour sheme is sort of unlucky because some people tend to mistake Dalia for a kitsune, even though kitsunes do have a slightly more reddish fur than Dalia does. As already mentioned Dalia has some dog-features with her ears being one of those. Dalia doesnt have human ears, they are completely missing and instead replaced by the canine ears that stand up from the top of her head in a slight angle. Her fluffy tail is about as long as her legs minus her feet, so even if she stretched it straight down, her tail wouldn't reach the ground. Now that we have taken care of her body, lets take a look at Dalias clothing. Dalia isn't the richest person in Felarya and doesn't really like fancy stuff, so she usually goes with some sort of standard-dress which is explained below, even though one may see her in different clothing from time to time. First there is her shirt, a long sleeved, beige Pullover that's not especcially fancy but comfortable and warm. In addition she wears black pants that have a V-shaped cut above her butt in order to give room for her tail. The pants go straight down until they almost reach Dalias ankles and are relatively close to her legs, thus emphasizing her natural long shape. The feet are usually covered by open, brown Sandals which are just as comfortable as the rest of her clothing. Dalia also wears a black collar around her neck with a small magical bell attached to it (for further informations look up the magic section of this bio). Another feature is a red scarf that's wrapped around her waist and which functions as a belt. The last piece of clothing is a small sack of spores that's connected to her belt. It contains magically enhanced mushroom-spores which function as her defensive weapons in combat, just like her enchanted dagger she's hiding inside one sleeve of her pullover. Personality:Dalia is a pretty open minded and friendly person. She's like a humans best friend and tries to be nice to everyone, though her intention often is unanswered and many people find her nature plain annoying, because she's kind of clinging as hell, following or talking to random people, just because they smell nice or seem to have an interesting background. This, along with that fact that Dalia naturally smells a little bit like a dog, especcially when she's wet, gave her a more or less pretty bad reputation in her hometown Negav and so Dalia is more interested in new people like Adventurers who come to a halt in Negav and often have something new to tell. Dalia is very curious about their stories, she likes to hear about places she hasn't seen before and just loves to discover new things, even though she keeps forgetting about half the things she just found out, so one may easily call her a little bit absent minded and easily distracted as well. If she decided that you're not only interesting, but also that she began to like you, you're either one of the luckiest or unluckiest persons in Felarya - depending on your thoughts about having a partner who follows you (all the time), cooks for you (and hinders you from eating anything else than her food), talks to you (a lot, you can't believe how talkative she is), and occasionally marks you with her scent by rubbing her tail against you, even claiming you as her property, in case you're a human whom she more or less considers potential pets. Dalia likes the idea of turning around the habit of making dogs a humans pet by making a human into her pet. Unfortunately she hasn't found any human yet who was willing to fulfill that role and Dalia is usally given a weird look after claiming someone as her pet. But pet or not, it happened a few times already that Dalia just decided to follow an adventurer out of Negav and accompany him on his quest, whether he asked for it or not. This doesn't always come in handy, as Dalia is easily frightened and she has a habit to just flee when a Predator appears that seems to be a bit too dangerous. So Dalia is everything but reliable in combat. Luckily that means that you don't really have to protect her either since Dalia is able to teleport away from most dangers on her own, due to her teleportation bell. But up until that point one may consider Dalia as a helpful companion that you can not only trust but also one that takes care of your wellbeing by enchanting your equipment with some more or less useful spells, as well as cooking for you, since one of her most loved hobbies is cooking for herself and especcially for other people. Finding some new recipes, getting new ingrediences and try to suprise her guests by completely new inventions is one of her biggest goals - and she even suceeds in like... 7 out of 10 tries. The other 3 are either meals with a weird side effect when Dalia tried out a new enchantment or when her inventions are way too... let's say... creative... to taste anything near to eatable. But still, where else would one be able to find magically enhanced food that even tastes great in 7 out of 10 tries? If offered, your best choice is to accept her meal since Dalias joy can easily be turned into sadness or even anger. This is thanks to her tendency to be either exeptionally happy and sway her tail in joy when you give her a treat, pet her, scratch her behind the ears or play with her, but Dalia also gets pretty depressed if not aggressive when she thinks that she's being ignored or treated wrong. One could say that Dalia seems to be overly emotion-driven since she can be easily manipulated by her feelings if someone knows about that weakness. She does lack self control, which may possibly be an exquisite feature in bed, but proves to be impractical in her daily life. Dalia is a really social Inu and when she's all alone or treated badly, she seems to wither like a dried out flower until someone treats her nicely. Just like humans, Nekos also do have a special place in Dalias mind as she treats them like other Inus. She doesn't differ between cat and dog/wolf, unlike many other Inus or Nekos who may even have a grudge against each other about territories and the like. This is a good thing because Dalia travels around a lot (mostly trying to teleport between the cities, using gunthers escaping bell) and one of her goals is the rosic neko village where Dalia has become some sort of common sight, even as an inu and especcially, when she hides her tail. which she usually doesn't, as Dalia is very proud of her appearance. She likes to tease people especcially with her tail (and thus leaving her scent on them) and well built legs, but she's not slutty or anything like that. Because last, but not least it is to say that Dalia has some sort of high sense of moral and considers herself to be a lawful good girl. Job:Dalia is running two adjacent stores in the outer ring of Negav, known as "eat and defeat". While the left store is some sort of small restaurant, the other one is a weapon store. The latter doesn't sell actual weapons, but instead a customer is supposed to bring his weapon with him and give it to Dalia. She will then try to enchant that weapon for a price. While Dalia has a stock of relatively secure enchantments which work everytime as intended, one may also ask her for a more specialized enchantment. those are usually of a better quality, but since Dalia doesn't use them very often, she sometimes mixes up a few runes or spells or materials, causing the enchantment to change. Even though the enchantment will still work as intended, more or less, it may have a few extra features that help or hinder you while using this enchanted weapon and thus you may get much more than you've asked for. There have been cases where someone just wanted a flaming enchantment on their dagger and later they got a eversharp blade covered in pitch black flames that never cease to burn. But as with most about Dalia, these enchantments are best described as random and sometimes your weapon even didn't change at all until it literally exploded in combat. Luckily for her, Adventurers who suffer from those very rare bad enchantments don't survive long enough to spread the rumors. Her restaurant is a bit more popular and it sometimes confuses people that Dalia is running both stores on her own. The food smells and tasts really nice and is widely known for its quality, even though it is rumored that Dalia actually uses magic to enhance the taste of her food. That becomes just too obvious when Dalia tries out a new, unknown enchantment on the food, causing the customer to puke, mutate, teleport, shrink or disappear right away. Fortunately for her, there are few to no rumors about these incidents because most people don't react to her food when they eat it, but rather later during digestion. Hunting habits:As one would guess, Dalia is also a carnivore who hunts and eats living things too. Sometimes she may trade food like a good old steak for money or items, another day she has to go outside into the jungle and search for food by herself. All in all Dalia rarely hunts as she eats meat as well as vedgetables, so seeing her out in the wild is a rather unusual event. When hunting, Dalia tries to be stealthy until she spots an animal of her choice, usually rabbits or other small beings but also Animals up to horse-sized things. After she spottet it, she will try to get as close as possible, which is sorta far away because of her own strong scent. As soon as her prey seems to notice her, Dalia runs straight towards her target, ringing her magical bell until it teleports her right next to her prey. Additional to being super-fast this method of teleportation often suprises her victim, giving Dalia an opening to attack with her Dagger. If that doesn't work she'd fight the animal by using her Dagger, feet and fangs in close combat or using some of her mushrom spores to use different effects on her prey, like stunning or confusing it, she sometimes even turns it into another being accidentally! Its said that "Nathan the strong" once attacked Dalia and by pure luck she threw some spores onto him, turning "Nathan the strong" into "Nathan the mouse"... End of story: Dalia took him home and a few hours later Nathan smoothly slid down her gullet whole and alive, followed by a sip of red wine. But eating her prey alive is merely an exception, Dalia usually doesn't do that, unless she's really starving or you're a tiny that's either annoying her or literally asking for it. And when she does eat someone, she usually doesn't eat that tiny right away but keeps it as a delicasy for a special occasion, often taking her time and combining her tiny with an exceptionally good wine - fitting to the situation. Abilities:Smell and Hearing: As an Inu Dalia has a very good nose as well as very good ears. Like almost all Inus she can use her nose and ears to the extent of having a complete sheme of the world around her, just by analyzing their smell and sounds. She may smell some food or danger from a few miles away and may act according to it. All of this goes at the cost of her sight, though. Since an Inus eyes are pretty weak she can't see very good at long distances. Adding to that, she is also colourblind which annoys her to the point of going into some rage mode if you ever mention how pretty the colour red is (since she can't see any red at all) NEVER make a comment like "you have such wonderful red eyes" to her or you get yourself killed! Well... almost... But it'll still hurt! Endurance: As an inu Dalia is a very good and long lasting runner, she has an endurance to follor her prey over miles without starting to sweat. It is pretty much needed though since she may not be the fastest or strongest predator around, so mostly Dalia has to rely on her stamina and the work of her magical items in order to catch anything. Cooking: Dalia is a very good cook and her meals are preferred by almost anyone who ever ate it. At least, if their food didn't have some weird enchantment on it... Enchantment Magic: Dalia is a decent magician and an apprentice of the pretty much unknown, yet awesome Mage called "Sis". Because of this, Dalia knows a few little tricks, mostly involving enchantments of existing items since her magic is still too weak to work on its own. Despite that lack of abilities her rather original use of Enchantments gives her some weird, yet effective methods of surviving in the Felaryan world. Magical weapons: Being a grown up person who has to work for her money, it seems only natural that Dalia is capable of enchanting weapons and items for other persons to use. They only have a little amount of magical power compared to the legendary weapons of great mages, but their effects still come in handy and Dalias work is popular enough for her to survive. The most popular items in her stock would be the collar of endurance which allows a person to go to their limits when it comes to straining their own body (doesn't actually increase a persons abilities though, just helps to overcome one's weaker self) or the dagger enchantment simply called "fang" which seems to cut wounds twice as deep as they usually would, effectively giving the dagger the effectiveness of a shortsword. Dalia herself actually does hide one of the "fang" type daggers inside her pullover in order to defend herself if necessary. As you may notice, most manipulations are named after something related to a canine in order to make people remember HER work and thus appreciate Dalia. Teleportation Bell: There is a special bell attached to her collar. Originally it has been one of gunthers escaping bells she "got" from a guy called Nathan the strong. You ring it and after a few moments the magic is charged up and teleports you to a place you want. However, it wouldn't have been a "Gunthers" Item if there wasn't any disadvantage to it, since the bell rang out loud and its effect would be set into motion at a random time. Thanks to Dalias Enchantments she got rid of that extremely loud ringing (as an Inu with extremely good ears that sound was almost killing her and it also keeps the predators from hearing that sound over 12 miles) making it a quiet little ringing instead and the teleportation kicks in more often, though it is still random. However, when Dalia is traveling or hunting she has this bell exposed, letting it swing from side to side the whole time as she runs towards her destination or after her prey. Knowing she has lots of stamina, she just has to follow her prey and keep an eye on it, until at a point that bells effect will suddenly kick in and teleport her right next to her prey (if she aimed at it) or some safe place if she needs to escape or simply travels. This method of movement gave her the nickname lightning since it seems like Dalia may actually move as fast as lightning. If she doesn't need the bell, she usually sticks it into her pullover, keeping the bell from swinging enough to prevent unintentional uses and keeping it from making noises. Mushrom magic: Dalia loves food and she also loves enchantments... What happens if you put both things together? well, you gotta be be sure it won't do any good! That Inu girl keeps enchanting food from time to time, either to test new effects, to suprise people who eat it or just for the heck of it. If a lucky or unlucky guy eats her "improved" food, the effect will kick in after a few moments or during digestion, depending on the particular enchantment. For unknown reasons Mushroms seem to work best with Dalias magic, even though she may enchant almost any kind of food exept for living beings. Probably it is because mushroms are close to the felaryan soil and thus absorb a great portion of its magic during their growth. However, this affinity to enchantments gave Dalia the idea to call it mushrom magic. Those Mushroms have an additional suprising effect, since not only the mushroms themselves are enchanted, but also their spores. Dalia always stores some spores in a little bag in order to throw it at an enemy and as soon as they come into contact with them, the effect will do its work like the person would have eaten it. The mushroms effect may be as intended from Dalia, but for other people it's best described as random, since you never know what she's testing out next. Though she does have some favourites, like the one she used on many unfriendly people before, turning them into mice and there are also poisoned ones for fighting predators in the jungle. But it's unknown if Dalia really has lots of control over the enchantments she performs, as she seems to forget about half of her recipes after she used them once, causing her to "discover" the same enchantment several times without remembering it at all.
Last edited by Amaroq on Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:27 am; edited 9 times in total | |
| | | parameciumkid Hero
Posts : 1201 Join date : 2011-11-21 Location : SPAAAAAACE
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:22 pm | |
| That is the sexiest Inu I have ever seen. ;D | |
| | | jedi-explorer Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474 Join date : 2011-12-06 Age : 36 Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Fri Feb 17, 2012 5:05 pm | |
| Well this is a very impressive! Her bio pic is very nicely drawn and not too sexual and her bio is full of suprises! XD Keeping a human for a pet. Such a silly girl. I am curious as to what her Mushroom Magic can do. I have to say she sounds very friendly and hero worthy. ^_^ Her cowardice in battle is even a welcome change to the usual mighty warriors you see in epic stories. Meekness is not something to be ashamed off. You RP? | |
| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:55 pm | |
| why do you consider her "hero-worthy" when you say she's a coward in the very next sentence? Ehhh yes I do RP but I only do it on MSN from time to time. Aside from that many thankies for the nice comments from Dalia and me ^.^ | |
| | | W-3-K Helpless prey
Posts : 27 Join date : 2011-08-20 Age : 28 Location : The stream of consciousness
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:02 pm | |
| Well, that was really quite good, to the point that there isn't much even I can criticize properly. A few grammatical errs do exist but it's still very understandable and very well done in relation to a lot of what I see. Reading this makes it very apparent that you've placed a great deal of time and effort into properly developing the character and for that I sincerely commend you on a task that most others do a mediocre job of or otherwise do not do at all. In particular, I enjoyed the descriptions of her reversal of the standard relationship between humans and dogs and her being upset about her colorblindness. The former I liked simply because it appealed to me and had some comedic value, and the latter because it was something I was actually driven to empathize with the character over. I imagined what it must be like for a person to be unable to experience something everyone around them speaks about and makes sound wonderful, and I really can see how that would be upsetting, to the point that it made me a bit upset for her, as silly as that may seem.
You've done a wonderful job. | |
| | | Archmage_Bael Mara's snack
Posts : 4158 Join date : 2009-05-05 Age : 36 Location : Shatterock Caldera
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:22 pm | |
| There is one piece of advice I can give, actually. As detailed as your bio is, and as wonderful as you made it, you neglected to keep the details formatted to the wiki. This is probably a good idea, and most people will tell you if you want to make a naga, adhere to the way the details are structured: - Spoiler:
Name: Species: Age: Sex: Height: (head to ground) Length:(head to tail) Skin colour: Top scale colour: Belly scale colour: Hair colour: Eye colour: Other characteristics: Predation: Food category:
but since she's an inu, it'd probably be advisable to make it similar to a neko, which is more along the lines of: - Spoiler:
Name: Species: Sex: Height: Hair: Eyes: Fur (on legs,tail and forearms): Predation: Food category:
food category is (I'm fairly certain) the size range of the food they prefer, (like 2 inches) followed by favorite species (to eat). I say this because it confused me for a while. However, the last thing is not as essential, that is; the bio length in general. The interesting thing about the Wiki, is that the bios are rather short. Having a personality and backstory segment. I don't recommend you do this, actually, (but a mod or karbo might want to make it clear whether or not we should try to keep along the lines of the level of the bios on the wiki) since for one, your bio is quite extensive already, and cutting all that out would be painful. Not to mention that having more detail (to a point) is better. That's just advice I have, the latter of which you are probably already aware, but the former is something pretty unpracticed here, and that should probably be changed. I recently redid Mara's bio by a lot, making her physical details more along the lines of a Fairy's. | |
| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Mon Feb 20, 2012 5:38 am | |
| @ W-3-K:
Wow, thank you very much, I am truly flattered you liked it that much ^.^
@ Archmage_Bael:
thankies, I changed the upper portion and added your suggested table in the beginning. Buuuut... I don't plan to cut out major parts of her Bio just because the Bios of other people are shorter than mine. Especcially since this is not the wiki. If Karbo asked me to shorten it so he can implement her into the wiki... sure, why not, I'd see what I could summarize without loosing too much information, but I think, thanks to the way I arranged the texts as smaller texts with subtitles, it's still well managable to navigate through the Bio around here. ^^ | |
| | | rcs619 Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1589 Join date : 2008-04-07 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Mon Feb 20, 2012 10:32 am | |
| Not going to go into huge detail, since all that usually does is get you going into "STOP PERSECUTING ME!" mode, and honestly most of my issues with it are the same as before.
Most of the bio isn't bad.
However, I'm not a fan of the liberties you have taken with inu biology. Could easily have the vision issues be limited to just her.
Also, I still think her food...magic, thing, and the teleportation bell, are a bit overpowered. Their random nature also gives me concern. The overwhelming majority of the time, people give random-effect powers to their characters so that they can plot-convenience their way around Felarya, and out of danger that would be excessively lethal to other characters. I've just never seen random-effect abilities used for anything positive. Most of the time it just comes off as "Well, I don't really know what I want my character to do, so I'll leave room for him/her to be able to do whatever is most convenient for the story/RP and then say it was 'random'." | |
| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Mon Feb 20, 2012 10:55 am | |
| what's wrong with her biology? I got rid of some of her doggish behavior you mentioned last time and the vision-flaw is just something I added in... Correct me if I'm wrong but I never said that colour blindness does apply to all inus. If you want me to, I'll state clear that this is one of Dalias more individual traits.
with the Escaping bell: I don't really think that this is overpowered. There are a lot of characters who can teleport themselves by sheer magic and I liked the Idea of having a character wield one of Gunthers Items. Of course it's not working instantly but I think it is reasonable when it's used to escape a predator or even its stomach when the bell doesnt work just in time.
with the other magic: weeell, it is unbalanced, but I didnt invent Dalia for competitive fights anyway. She's not supposed to prove how strong she is, that's why she flees most battles anyway. Believe it or not but for RP I usually roll a dice or toss a coin or whatever in order to see what happens instead of using her abilities as some sort of permanent joker. But I agree that I may make it more specific on what exactly she's able to doing with her magic. :-/
Anything you like in particular? | |
| | | Archmage_Bael Mara's snack
Posts : 4158 Join date : 2009-05-05 Age : 36 Location : Shatterock Caldera
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:14 pm | |
| Yeah, I'm not asking you to shorten the Bio, Amaroq, don't worry | |
| | | jedi-explorer Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474 Join date : 2011-12-06 Age : 36 Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:49 pm | |
| - Amaroq wrote:
- why do you consider her "hero-worthy" when you say she's a coward in the very next sentence?
Ehhh yes I do RP but I only do it on MSN from time to time.
Aside from that many thankies for the nice comments from Dalia and me ^.^ Well I say "hero worthy" to measure character merits. Not bravery XD I use it with a freind becuase she writes very usual fantasy heroes and I've been talking to her alot. Intriguing. I'll be PMing you later if you don't mind. I'd like to interact with Im but I also need to sort of interview you. Well to you both: You're welcome! <3 It was a privilege to discover her. ^_^ | |
| | | FalconJudge Hero
Posts : 1040 Join date : 2008-11-07 Age : 33 Location : Work
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:31 pm | |
| Very nice. Then again, Amaroq has a history of making well-done characters. Quite origional. | |
| | | jedi-explorer Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474 Join date : 2011-12-06 Age : 36 Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:52 pm | |
| - Archmage_Bael wrote:
- There is one piece of advice I can give, actually.
but since she's an inu, it'd probably be advisable to make it similar to a neko, which is more along the lines of:
- Spoiler:
Name: Species: Sex: Height: Hair: Eyes: Fur (on legs,tail and forearms): Predation: Food category:
Is there a place on the site where you can find the layouts of the bios like that? That'd be pretty usefull in the future I'd think. | |
| | | Archmage_Bael Mara's snack
Posts : 4158 Join date : 2009-05-05 Age : 36 Location : Shatterock Caldera
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:23 pm | |
| There was a thread way back when, dedicated to making those outlines for every species. Oldman might know where it is, I cant remember though, see the wiki and just copy their physical details outline. (not the actual bio history/personality stuff, like I said, feel free to make that as long as you want. I cant tell you what to do XD). | |
| | | Anime-Junkie Loremaster
Posts : 2690 Join date : 2007-12-16 Age : 31 Location : The Country of Kangaroos and Criminal Scum
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:33 pm | |
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| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:19 pm | |
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Last edited by Amaroq on Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:28 am; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Dalia, the Inu Sun Apr 27, 2014 10:23 am | |
| I added a new Artwork for Dalia on my first post. Here's also an updated version of her Bio, more or less aligned to the Wiki standards and with her recent character development considered. Name: Dalia Species: Inu Age: 27 Sex: Female Height: 5 feet 8 Inches Fur colour: Brown Skin colour: Pale Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Red Other characteristics: White tips on ears and tail. Has slits as pupils instead of circles. Predation: Reluctant to Opportunistic Food category: 1-5 inches. As an Inu, Dalia has a overall, 5'8" tall, adult human body and a few doglike features. Dalia, like most Felaryans, sports a pretty nicely composed shape and is being considered attractive to Inu and most human standards, even though she may not be the prettiest woman around. Her Arms and legs are relatively thin, so are her hips, giving Dalia an overall long appearance, even though the legs still do seem athletic and somewhat muscular, thus proving Dalia to be a very good and ongoing runner. Her tender hands and cute feet seem to be a bit bigger than average. Also rather special are Dalia's eyes. While the red colour isn't all that rare, her pupils resemble that of a Snake or possibly Naga. While they contribute to no special function on their own, it appears to be related to some ancestor of her. Beneath her eyes are a relatively small nose and mouth. However, if she wants, Dalia can fit much more into that mouth of hers than you would expect. Dalias long hair and fur are light brown coloured with a slight hint of red while the tips of her ears and her tail are completely white. While she doesn't have human ears, they are replaced by the Inu-typical canine ears that stand up from the top of her head in a slight angle. Her fluffy tail is about as long as her legs and feet, so if she stretched it straight down, her tail would just barely touch the ground. Personality: Dalia is very proud of her appearance. She likes to tease people especcially with her tail (and thus leaving her scent on them) and well built legs, but she's not slutty or anything like that. Because even despite her proud, sometimes plain arrogant behaviour, Dalia has some sort of high sense of moral and considers herself to be a lawful good person. Among other Inu's, Dalia is a pretty open minded and friendly person. She tries to be like a best friend to the ones she likes, though her intention often is unanswered and many people find her nature plain annoying, because she's kind of clinging as hell, following or talking to random people, just because they smell nice or seem to hide a interesting background. This, along with that fact that Dalia naturally smells a little bit like a dog, especcially when she's wet, gave her a more or less pretty bad reputation in her hometown Negav and so Dalia is more interested in new people like Adventurers who come to a halt in Negav and often have something new to tell. Dalia is very curious about their stories, she likes to hear about places she hasn't seen before and just loves to discover new things, even though she keeps forgetting about half the things she just found out, so one may easily call her a little bit absent minded and easily distracted as well. Towards human and other races Dalia tends to be a little more on the dominant side, often stating that she's a superior being due to the fact that, according to her beliefs, Inus have all the strengths of a human body plus a few advantages on top of them. While that is not entirely true, Dalia doesn't really care about the potential drawbacks that come with being an Inu. One couldn't call her entirely racist, but she does in fact look down on people of other heritage until they have proven themselves or have something really interesting to provide, be it some special feature or an adventurous backstory. One could say that Dalia seems to be overly emotion-driven since she can be easily manipulated by her feelings if someone knows about that weakness. She does lack self control, which may possibly be an exquisite feature in bed, but proves to be impractical in her daily life. Dalia is a really social Inu and when she's all alone or treated badly, she seems to wither like a dried out flower. Because of this Dalia usually tries to always have some company around her. It happened a few times already that the Inu just decided to follow an adventurer into the jungles to accompany them on their quest, whether he asked for it or not. This doesn't always come in handy, as Dalia is easily frightened and she has a habit to just flee when a Predator appears that seems to be a bit too dangerous. So Dalia is everything but reliable in combat. But up until that point one may consider Dalia as a helpful companion that you can not only trust but also one that takes care of your wellbeing by enchanting your equipment with some more or less useful spells, as well as cooking for you. Daily Life: Dalia is running two adjacent stores in the outer ring of Negav, known as "eat and defeat". While the left store is some sort of small restaurant, the other one is a weapon store. The latter doesn't sell actual weapons, but instead a customer is supposed to bring his weapon with him and give it to Dalia. She will then try to enchant that weapon for a price. While Dalia has a stock of relatively secure enchantments which work everytime as intended, one may also ask her for a more specialized enchantment. those are usually of a better quality, but since Dalia doesn't use them very often, she sometimes mixes up a few runes or spells or materials, causing the enchantment to change. Even though the enchantment will still work as intended, more or less, it may have a few extra features that help or hinder you while using this enchanted weapon and thus you may get much more than you've asked for. There have been cases where someone just wanted a flaming enchantment on their dagger and later they got a eversharp blade covered in pitch black flames that never cease to burn. But as with most about Dalia, these enchantments are best described as random and sometimes your weapon even didn't change at all until it literally exploded in combat. Luckily for her, Adventurers who suffer from those very rare bad enchantments don't survive long enough to spread the rumors. Her restaurant is a bit more popular and it sometimes confuses people that Dalia is running both stores on her own. The food smells and tasts really nice and is widely known for its quality, even though it is rumored that Dalia actually uses magic to enhance the taste of her food. That becomes just too obvious when Dalia tries out a new, unknown enchantment on the food, causing the customer to puke, mutate, teleport or disappear right away. Fortunately for her, there are few to no rumors about these incidents because most people don't react to her food when they eat it, but rather later during digestion. Hunting habits: Like most Inu, Dalia is a completely opportunistic omnivore. Sometimes she may trade food like a good old steak for money or items, another day she has to go outside into the jungle and search for something to eat by herself, indulging her lust for adventure. When hunting, Dalia tries to be stealthy until she spots an animal of her choice, usually rabbits or other small beings but also animals up to horse-size. After she spottet it, she will try to get as close as possible, which is sorta far away because of her own strong scent. As soon as her prey seems to notice her, Dalia either uses her bow in order to hit from afar or runs straight towards her target, ringing her modified version of one of Gunthers Escape Bells until it teleports her right next to her prey. Additional to being super-fast this method of teleportation often suprises her victim, giving Dalia an opening to attack with a Dagger. If that doesn't work she'd fight the animal by using her Dagger, hands, feet and even fangs in close combat. Abilities: As an Inu Dalia has a very good nose as well as very good ears. Like almost all Inus she can use her nose and ears to the extent of having a complete sheme of the world around her, just by analyzing their smell and sounds. She may smell some food or danger from a few miles away and may act according to it. All of this goes at the cost of her sight, though. Since an Inus eyes are pretty weak she can't see very good at long distances. Adding to that, she is also colourblind which annoys her to the point of going into some rage mode if you ever mention how pretty the colour red is (since she can't see any red at all) NEVER make a comment like "you have such wonderful red eyes" to her or you get yourself killed! Well... almost... But it'll still hurt! As an inu Dalia is a very good and long lasting runner, she has an endurance to follow her prey over miles without starting to sweat. It is pretty much needed though since she may not be the fastest or strongest huntress around, so mostly Dalia has to rely on her stamina and the work of her magical items in order to exhaust her prey. Dalia is a very good cook and her meals are preferred by almost anyone who ever ate it. At least, if their food didn't have some weird enchantment on it... Because she is a decent enchantress and knows a few little tricks, mostly involving enchantments of existing items since her magic is still too weak to work on its own. With that it seems only natural that Dalia is capable of enchanting weapons to use in a fight or for sale at her store. They only have a little amount of magical power compared to the legendary weapons of great mages, but their effects still come in handy and Dalias work is popular enough for her to make a living. She can also alter and possibly improve already existing enchantments. One of them has originally been one of Gunthers escape bells. Usually you ring it and after a few moments the magic is charged up and teleports you to a place you want. However, it wouldn't have been a "Gunthers" Item if there wasn't any disadvantage to it, since the bell rang out loud and its effect would be set into motion at a random time. Thanks to Dalias Enchantments she got rid of that extremely loud ringing, making it a quiet little ringing instead and the teleportation kicks in more often, though it is still a little unreliable. However, when Dalia is traveling or hunting she has this bell exposed, letting it swing from side to side the whole time as she runs towards her destination or after her prey. Knowing she has lots of stamina, she just has to follow her prey and keep an eye on it, until at a point that bells effect will be charged up and teleport her into the desired direction or some safe place if she needs to escape. If she doesn't need the bell, she usually stores it inside one of her pouches to keep the bell from swinging in order to prevent unintentional usage or making noises. | |
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