My first character... ever + more

Yah... so this idea came over in the course of the last day when in the chatbox

Name: Jack Burke

Species: Human

Home: Classified

Age: 27

Height: 6' 2"

Hair color: Blond

Eye color: Green

"Ancient" Ancestry: European

Ethnicity: White

Date of bio: October 10, 3209 A.X. (let's just say equivalent to A.D. because I'm not sure what the years are)

Prepare for a very long charcter bio... probably a rough draft... subject to alterations

Jack Burke was basically a normal guy but very smart... however as he got older, he got more and more annoyed and angry at how everything in humanity was run... the "power" structure of the worlds under human control was anything but "smart". His goal was to become apart of that power structure and finally make things the way they should be... things no longer relying on people who were not close to being qualified to make the decisions they were making. He thought overall humanity would be far much more advanced if these kinds of people had not been in partial control of humanity for so long. He bided his time... going on the straight and narrow throughout his childhood... and eventually getting into a top university (considered top on all humanoid worlds). Everything was going to plan until that fateful day... July 25, 3204. Jack along with some of his colleagues/classmates had to go on a trip for an assignment for their Intergalactic Relations major. Part of it involved stopping in Negav... and traveling trough Felarya... a place he and his colleagues almost knew nothing about. The University conveniently failed to mention that on that leg of the trip... survival wasn't guaranteed... no where even close. On that day... they went on flight #119 of Felarya Express. They only realized the danger they were in when the co-pilot said that on average only 25% of people survive the journey. It coincided with the little information they all had on Felarya... but many didn't take that seriously. In short... there were 42 people on that flight including the 2 crew. Only 7 made it to Negav... Jack was one of them... most of his colleagues/classmates... friends... were lost... only one of them survived. Out of a group of 14 people... some of the best and brightest... 2 survived. After that... well you can imagine after going thorugh something like that... and seeing those types of things I won't describe, but we all know... Jack lost it... He dropped out of the university and stayed in seclusion for months... (obviously taking a MUCH different way back home even if it took a lot longer).

But he came out of that seclusion with an idea... trick humans into going to Felarya... those with power and influence and the true knowledge of the place (not a large percentage... but still many) Those who wanted to go to Felarya for greed and power... and out of stupidity. The people who he thought humanity would do much better without... 2 years later Felaryan Tours and Felaryan Investments were born... both part of ETGI Group (officially meaning nothing... unofficially meaning Evil Tour Guides Incorporated)... He had also learned more about Felarya... much, much more. It was a huge risk... but at this point in time it was all or nothing. He lured the first group of people who he despised most... basically telling them of all the amazing possibilities... he told them of the risk... but like had been done to him... he didn't emphasize it. There was of course a fee... a good sized fee. All the candidates went through a screening process (to make it seem "exclusive" and to weed out those who he thought basically didn't deserve to die... because everyone was going to die). Top candidates included those who sought power, fame, greed, and those who were just dumb enough to still go anyway even without all those motivations. It was a resounding success (for him at least)... He had rid humanity of some of it's most "legally" vile (and dumb) people while attaining lots of money. He survived himself by convincing the (now happy and full) predators that first encountered his doomed group that he'd bring more for them. 3 years later... the operation still continues under the partially misleading slogan... "ETGI - Helping both Humans and Felaryans with one easy system" Although... Jack does not believe it to be misleading... he is advancing humanity... right? Oh and it has all been carefully planned out... so that no one finds out the true fates of these people. Currently, Jack is attempting to expand to death row prisoners... but he still has to go through those same types of people he has been leading to their deaths for years... so it may be awhile. Maybe a little tour will convince them ?

But his plans may have unintended consequences... both good and bad...
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Wow that became a lot longer than I originally envisioned it... but I think it's an interesting new spin... (so far I haven't seen anything like it) And it incorporates some of those all important Felaryan Rules.

Yay, Felarya Express!

I like the idea of Felarya Tours. (I've briefly mentioned there being tourist guides to Felarya in my stories, but those were honest ones, who weren't actually trying to get the tourists eaten).

Three comments though: Why the heck would an elite university send some of its top students to their deaths? I'm not seeing the logic there.

Jack Burke comes across as a pathologically cold-hearted bastard, barely human in any sense. Is that intentional?

Lastly, how come no-one ever finds out that no-one returns from these trips? If he's trying to trick the rich, influential and famous, you'd think they'd look into it.

He's supposed to come of partially as a pathologically cold-hearted bastard... but I'm trying to garner some sympathy...

The university didn't send them to their deaths on purpose :/... They just failed to mention the risk involved...

And I haven't worked out the details of the return trips yet... All I really know now is that like I said it's carefully planned so that no one really finds the true fate of these people... let's just say "officially" they all died mysteriously from different events at "around" the same time Also.. they are going on a trip/vacation... not necessarily with who/where/when... ie the details are kept locked up to only those actually going.

It is made to seem "exclusive" but anyone can go so not all the people are necesarily influential, rich, powerful... just dumb people too...

Addition: He appears evil... but he's actually not... just a devoted guy with a mission to "better" humanity... doing something "morally questionable" ... Have you seen the movie "The Island"... ETGI is also looking to expand toward that

O and it leaves the prey less prone to chance... maybe the plane wouldn't have been eaten if ETGI I been around???

French snack wrote:

I like the idea of Felarya Tours. (I've briefly mentioned there being tourist guides to Felarya in my stories, but those were honest ones, who weren't actually trying to get the tourists eaten).

In one of the Megalith Monster humor stories I wrote, I briefly described a giantess as being part of the Felarya Guide Association. The more I think about it, the more I like it. We have many friendly giant predators running around in these stories - who is to say they cannot get together with some humans to form a tour guide organization? I actually began writing a story where a large naga was "clearing" an area of potentially dangerous predators for a botanical tour group to pass through, but shelved it to work on some other stories.

I do not normally comment on character bios, preferring to read them in stories. However, since I jumped in to comment on the tour group thing, I’ll throw my $0.02 in.

I have to agree with French_snack. This will be harsh but it was my honest reaction after reading what you’ve come up with here.

The entire “top university” sending students to die idea makes almost no sense to me. This would be better served as an accident that happened, rather than a deliberate and truly bizarre murder plot that defies reason.

Don’t mince words, Jack doesn’t appear evil – he is evil. He lies to get people to go on trips knowing they will die. But only those who deserve it… right. Dumb people deserve to die. Yeah, that’s not evil. That’s just good ole genetic cleansing at work. It seems you are confusing what Jack thinks is “the way things should be” in his mind with how others are going to perceive his actions.

To me, he is just as power hungry (he’s now the self-professed genetic cleanser of humanity), greedy (he attains “lots of money”), and dumb (there are a million easier ways to accomplish his goals than what he is doing) as the people he’s trying to kill off.

He’s a completely pathological, cold-hearted, bastard who’s only remaining humanity is the flesh his mind inhabits. There’s nothing redeeming about him. The only sympathy I can drum up is the sincere hope that he “accidentally” runs into Jissy while she is hunting. But I don’t think that’s the kind of sympathy you were hoping for.

LOL... it was an accident... the university just failed to mention the high prospect of death... so it's not a murder plot...

Yup that's basically the jist of it... good old genetic cleansing... that's what tramatic experiences do to you

Let's put it like this... preds will eat humans anyway... this is like choosing who gets eaten... instead of leaving it up to chance... maybe the guy who cures deadly disease X won't die because of this...

Yah power-hungry true, and greedy true... and the point of that is to change things for the better in the end but dumb... eh... I don't see the millions of other ways to do it.

So right... basically in his mind... the end justifies the means

So he is a pathological cold hearted bastard. lol XD Raison has some competition.

vegasmazza3 wrote:

The university didn't send them to their deaths on purpose :/... They just failed to mention the risk involved...

But why would they book them on Felarya Express in the first place?

Quote :

And I haven't worked out the details of the return trips yet... All I really know now is that like I said it's carefully planned so that no one really finds the true fate of these people... let's just say "officially" they all died mysteriously from different events at "around" the same time Also.. they are going on a trip/vacation... not necessarily with who/where/when... ie the details are kept locked up to only those actually going.

There'd still be more than enough to make anyone with the means to look into it very suspicious.

Quote :

Addition: He appears evil... but he's actually not... just a devoted guy with a mission to "better" humanity... doing something "morally questionable" ...

It comes across as "downright monstrous" rather than "morally questionable", though. If anyone "deserves" to die, it's him, rather than his victims.

timing2 wrote:

In one of the Megalith Monster humor stories I wrote, I briefly described a giantess as being part of the Felarya Guide Association. The more I think about it, the more I like it. We have many friendly giant predators running around in these stories - who is to say they cannot get together with some humans to form a tour guide organization? I actually began writing a story where a large naga was "clearing" an area of potentially dangerous predators for a botanical tour group to pass through, but shelved it to work on some other stories.

Now that would be an interesting idea.