Silent Eric's Zany Ideas

now that i would love to see some body write XD

I dunno, seems to me like So You've Become A Vampire could very well be a trap set by the anti-vampire folks to weed out the vampires. You buy the book, the mob follows you soon after. Only buy for 'paranormal research'!

Hehehe.... just need a "So You've Been Eaten by a Gigantic Naked Flesh Eating Animal Woman" pamphlet you can whip out.

Step 1) - You are @#$@ed.

Step 2) - Learning to Cope

Step 3) - By now this is Probably too acid drenched to read.

/Fish/ wrote:

I dunno, seems to me like So You've Become A Vampire could very well be a trap set by the anti-vampire folks to weed out the vampires. You buy the book, the mob follows you soon after. Only buy for 'paranormal research'!

not if it's a vampire selling them... man who else would write it XD

Reptillian wrote:

/Fish/ wrote:

I dunno, seems to me like So You've Become A Vampire could very well be a trap set by the anti-vampire folks to weed out the vampires. You buy the book, the mob follows you soon after. Only buy for 'paranormal research'!

not if it's a vampire selling them... man who else would write it XD

Human bookshops could 'conveniently' carry it of course!
However, a vampire's Ackbar sense should kick in if they see one there. :U

Silent_eric wrote:

A somewhat popular book

So You've Become a Vampire

The key point of this book is that Vampirism need not destroy one's life. Although Vampirism brings its own challenges and cravings, Vampires can live productive lives just like anyone else. This book helps new Vampires cope with things like dealing with anti-Vampire discrimination, satisfying savage blood lust, choosing an appropriate cape, and hissing properly. Remember: Vampires are people too.

hahahaha XD

Deathbook of Deadly Deathly Deathing

The Deathbook of Deadly Deathly Deathing may possibly be the most deathly item in all of Felarya, several men have tried to speak its incantations and died a deathly death shortly after.

Inside its covers are rumored to lie the most deathlyest deadly deathering deathspells ever. However, some people think that it's just a half burnt book with deathly death cast on it, since everyone who's ever opened it died a most deathly death, which is a death that included liberal amounts of death and deadliness, always resulting in a dead body, also known as a "corpse".

However, many men still try to open the book and survive, for there is a man, in an bar, who said that he who opens the book and survive will get ray of deadly deathly deathliness as a spell like ability usable twice per day, and capable even of wounding a guardian. It is still unknown why hordes of people will believe Grid, the Lit Ciggy's resident drunken liar.

Eating You: A Beginner's Guide to Cannibalism

There are many groups in Felarya that believe that all nagas, dridders, fairies and so on are alike, regardless of size. Thus exists this book, a specie-by-specie guide on how to consume members of your own species.

The books were air dropped over the jungles, (resulting in quite a few heroic pilots giving their lives to the cause, and a good many full harpies) and the weather proof books are a common sight just scattered about Felarya. However, most predators don't seem to care about the books, leaving them where they lay, and only eating smaller members of their species if they feel like it.

This is the last one for the night.

Thrice-Baked Binding Bundt Cake

This delicious cake, whose recipe is detailed in Culimancy Made Easy: A Beginner's Guide to Cooking Magic, is a magical cake whose baking and consumption can bind a deal made between a man and a demon. Thrice-Baked Binding Bundt Cake is one of the most safe ways to deal with Demons, as even infernal beings cannot resist the delicious chocolatey taste of a properly-made bundt cake. Devil's food indeed.


There are rumors of a different flavor of Thrice-Baked Binding Bundt Cake that can be used on angels as well, but this recipe is less known.

There is really some nice ideas here, very pratchet-esque
though I'm not sure exactly how/where to use them ^_^;

The whole point of this thread is for me to dump all my weirder ideas. But due to the popularity of some of these, I'll ask those of you who read through my ideas to pick your favorite. And I will make it canon through sheer force of will!

By which I mean, I'll edit it until at the very least, it's Lore worthy. So let me know which one is you want to see Felarya-ized, and I will make it so.

mhh hard to say

I'd say the self-conscious cloud and the found cake

AIR-SHARKS XD

Ever-Merchants

A race of human shopkeepers filled with mystery. They can be found all over Felarya, in cities and in traveling caravans. They have a large domed embassy in Negav as well. They deal in all sorts of merchandise, and have singlehandedly created an exchange rate system that encompasses the thousands of currencies used by Felayrans. They are well known for their fair prices, and good nature. The race's name is actually, Kn'ikolo'svietn'az, which is admittedly hard to pronounce, and so they are more commonly referred to as Ever-Merchants. Adventures of all stripes swear on the Ever-Merchant's shops, trading in the loot they get while raiding lost temples and cities in the Felaryan jungles and buying enchanted items unavailable anywhere else! They even deal in Ascarlin, making them an indispensable asset in Negav.

The Ever-Merchants capital, and origin dimension is unknown, and the Merchants themselves refuse to talk about their origins or where they get their wares. Negav spies, sent by the Ps'isol Magiocrats, reported back that the Merchants seem to come from the largely unexplored hilly forests, past the Fairy Kingdom. Due to the dangers of crossing the Kingdom, the spies had to return before more could be discovered. The Ps'isol Magiocrats have named the section of the Felaryan forest where the city is rumored to be Merchant's Alley. This raises interesting questions however. Do the Merchants have a deal with the fairies? How else could they pass through the Kingdom on a regular basis?

Regardless of how they do it, the Ever-Merchants can be found the world over. From winding caravans snaking through the Great Rocky Plains, to floating Shop Ships that sail along the coasts of the Topazial Sea, and through the rivers as well.

The Ever-Merchants wear brightly colored tunics, Red and Gold, with some sort of magical armor commonly found underneath. They are human, but have no hair upon their bodies, and have a byzantine tattoo system that shows some sort of ranking within their guild structured society.




What do you guys think? Not bad for a spur of the moment idea huh?

Ah, almost forgot. One last detail. A rumor for them as well.


"It was the oddest thing. I mentioned about how this guy out in the Felaryan wilderness, Gunther, had almost killed me, selling me this Alondra bubble in a bottle right? He told me it was a repellent for predators and I ended up using it when this slug girl had me cornered, and instead of eating me she... Anyway, that's a sticky story for another time. So anyway I was telling the Ever-Merchant the story, but when I mentioned the name Gunther, he seemed to get real nervous. He started drilling me for information, what he looked like, was I sure his name was Gunther, all kindsa stuff. Anyway, as soon as I told him everything I could remember, he closed his shop and ran off to their Embassy Dome. I couldn't see that Gunther guy's face, but do you think he's some kinda Ever-Merchant criminal?"



Instead of asking, go look up what Alondras are. Then you'll get the joke.
Anyway, here's a rumor about the secret origins of Gunther, that lovable trickster!

That's great. Merchants are always good.

Are those Ever-Merchants a referance to the shopkeepers in most video games? Cause if they are, I think I love you more.

I was laughing my butt off with many of these! Keep up the comedic genious, Erik.

Kayeffsee, that was brilliant.

And I love the idea of the ever merchants too.

You know...at least we haven't seen a sphere-like thing that stabs into someone and consumes them from the inside out, and is resistant to fire.

What would that be?

Spoof of the Compainion Cube. The Compainion Sphere. Could be a type of plant with spherical pods.

haha great idea ^_^

I agree, it looks like a reference to RPG I wonder when we'll see a strange race of people offering quests and repeating the same thing over and over again when you talk to them

Karbo wrote:

repeating the same thing over and over again when you talk to them

Call them Enpeecees or something like that.

XD

My Computer Died out of nowhere, leaving me without my pages of ideas. Shucks. So I won't be on for a while, as I can't access my database of half fleshed ideas. Drat. In a week or so I should be back, and raring to go again.


Not to leave you all without me for a week, here's one last idea I just came up with to tide you over.

Hostelity

A hidden hotel found just outside of the Fairy Kingdom. It can be found if you travel directly west from Negav. The hotel's main client is Fairy Hunters. They will arm these intripid warriors with weapons and advice that will aid them in catching Felarya's deadliest game. Many young naive hunters leave the hotel, and few return. The ones that do are no longer boys. They are men. Legends of the Fairy Hunting world stay here in between expiditions. Telling tales of their heroic quests through the fairies own territory. Hostelity will also purchase bought faires at very reasonable prices.

The hostelity is built using the carcass of a giant Beetle like creature, effectivly protecting it from any roving fairies.