Shadow's Characters

Okay first post you get 2 for 1 lol

Name: Lance Michaels
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Height: 6'1
Weight: 157lbs
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Black (Long)
Skin Tone: Tanned
Clothing/Equipment: Wears blue jeans with black enchanted boots. Wears a blue long sleeve shirt under a black leather vest, the inside of it lined with throwing knives and a few grenades. He also carried two swords with him katana style, and a hidden knife in his sleeve, he also carries a flare gun for emergencies.

Abilities/Skills: Lance's boot are very useful in combat and running away from threats. They allow his movement to be sped up significantly where normal humans and nekos cannot keep up with his movements. Giant Predators have a better chance of catching him and seeing up due to the overhead view and the wider range of vision, which makes avoiding them a game of speed, not combat. He is very skilled at duel swordplay, having been practicing at a young age and perfecting it upon his first few years in Felarya. He is fluid in his movements and can easily defeat anyone who is to broad in their attacks or movements, especially with his footwork which is sped up significantly because of his boots. The strength enchancement allows his kicks to deal devestating damage.

Personality: He is a brilliant thinker and opportunist, taking advantage of any situation he thinks he could profit from and using his envoirnment to his advantage. Lance is talented at fighting but tends to avoid it as he hates the sensation of pain. He is cunning enough to know when he can weasel his way out of a situation without force. He is not He is very afraid of spiders, dridders included and avoid them at all costs, known to scream very high pitched when seeing them. Lance is also quite indifferent to others suffering, finding it easier to taunt the one causing the suffering in a playful manner to ease his own tension. He is not afraid to admit his own survival skills may include dishonest or cowardly tactics, whether it be using cheap tricks, blackmail, or even other lives, he is always willing to bargain to save his own life and does not mind seeing other humans or prey races die in his place, taking pride in the fact he is alive, and they are not. He has an unhealthy lack of fear for predators, approaching them like friends and willing to chat for lengthy period, under no impression that he could be eaten, even trusting predators he may have befriended to approach them unarmed, or without his boots, or protection of another predator.

Backstory: Lance was born in Felarya in the city of Negav. His mother raised him alone from a young age as his father abandoned them to join a band of slavers. They lived in poverty for most of his life and when he turned 14 he became sick of the constant lack of food and the general bitterness of most of his fellow humans. He fled Negav and took to a life in the wild, knowing its dangers full well from the stories of traders and mercenaries who traveled through Negav. Lance survived as he had his whole life, he used his brain. He recognized a dangerous situation before most people could, and as a result he avoided many non-sentient predators and carnivorous plants. Food was an easier issue in the wild, berries and food from the packs of dead travelers fueled him for a little over 2 years. But at 16 he met his first Sentient Predator, a fairy. She introduced herself as Alexa and they talked for sometime about common thingsd about them, wings, hair color, Lance's very deep green eyes, before she declared her intentions, to bring him home, show off, and eat him. Lance really had no choice in the matter as she had shrunk him and was carried to her home deep in the jungle. Alexa's sister, Kaitlyn, upon seeing how young Lance was she became angered, telling Alexa to let her go. Lance remained silent through the spat, being taken by force from Alexa and hid in Kaitlyn's private "getaway." Lance and Kaitlyn became friends, and despite offers from Kaitlyn to guide him he never wished to return to Negav. They clashed several times over conflicting views on the nature of Felarya. Lance having used it to his advantage before from taking packs of dead adventurers. But despite their differences they became very close friends, and not long after they fell in love. This was appalling to everyone in the family besides Alexa, who actually liked Lance, despite having tried to eat him. Kaitlyn's eldest sister tried to kill Lance but they fled into the forest. Feyweed began to affect Kaitlyn and her sister to the point where they were drawn far to close to it, Lance, who was normal sized, easily saved Kaitlyn from the Feyweed but allowed her sister to be eaten by the flower, much to his amusement. After that Kaitlyn thanked Lance for saving him and they departed together and have been partners ever since. Alexa being the only member of the family they still talk to.

Philosophical Quote: "I find that in Felarya you are only prey if you consider yourself prey, and when you do that you have already lost." -Lance to a Mermaid on why he was not food, Age 18

Funny Quote: "PLEASE, don't take me in there! I hate spiders! Even sexy ones! I don't want to, LET ME GO!!" -Lance to Kaitlyn when visiting her friend Samantha, a Dridder, Age 17





Name: Kaityln
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Species: Fairy
Height: 5'10
Weight: 102
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Skin Tone: Fair
Clothing/Equipment: Wears animal furs as she finds clothing restrictive, they are enchanted to grow or shrink in size when she used her magic. She carries no equipment on her.
Predation: Safe

Abilities/Skills: Kaitlyn is a good flyer and very skilled at size shifting magic. Her physical strength is lacking but her magical skills are very adept, able to use fire, water, ice, wind, electricity and the Earth itself as he weapons, though she does not use them often, prefering non-lethal methods of restrining her opponents.

Personality: Kaitlyn is very kind and generous, refusing to eat any sentient being and is largely vegetarian, refusing to feed on most animals unless she is very hungry. She has an even temperament and is usually Lance's voice of reason due to her calm thinking under pressure and knowledge of Felarya that Lance lacks. She is also quite vein when regarding herself, very self-conscious about her looks and always wanting to look her best. She is easily insulted and is quick to tears, tending to buckle when people hit her soft spots emotionally or strike a "low blow."

Backstory: Kaitlyn was born into a normal fairy family. She had 4 sisters, a mother and an absent father that she has never met or even heard his name. She grew up as an outcast, no one in her family paying attention to her because from a young age, since she was old enough to, she refused to eat humans, nekos or anything of the sort. She claimed they looked just like her and were not food, refusing to resort to "cannibalism" as she called it. She was distance from her family further upon seeing her sisters shrink and eat a human family, mother, father, and children. She called them monsters and brawled with them momentarily until their mother broke it up. She has not spoken a word to 3 of her sisters since that day. At the age of 13 she met Lance, who was 16 at the time. Her sister Alexa brought him home to show her mother, Lance being Alexa's first catch. Kaitlyn having this being the snapping point, since Alexa was the only one she was still close to, took Lance from her and hid him from everyone. After a few years they fell in love witch prompted her oldest sister to try to eat Lance. Lance and Kaitlyn ran as she tried to attack him, running for hours through the forest, but both Kaitlyn and her sister were trapped by a Feyweed's aroma, Kaitlyn being saved by Lance but her sister being quickly devoured. Lance and Kaitlyn ran away that day, never returning back there and have been partners ever since.

Philosophical Quote: "Lance, I think your tough guy attitude is only your way to deal with the fear inside, you are only fooling yourself." Kaitlyn to Lance on the subject of Lance's distant demeanor, Age 16

Funny Quote: "Okay listen, about me and Lance, your sex life is none of your business. If he rocks my world in bed that is my pleasurable time, you don't need to know about." Kaitlyn to her sister Alexa, the only one she remains in contact with, Age 15.

I like what you have so far. As I posted on one other character bio recently, I like how Kaitlyn is listed as "16", which I assume means she's actually 16 rather than something like "appears 16, actual age 52 [or some other MILFy middle-aged age]" as seems all too common among people's Felaryan characters.

Okay finished both Lance and Kaitlyn. and yes Parimecium, she is 16, i don't go for MILFs XD

Critique of Lance Micheals written collaboratively by W-3-k and Anime-Junkie


Well, the thing that immediately caught my eye as I started out with Lance was his enchanted boots and the complications such things would present to the typical body. I'll go over that;

Firstly, being able to run at excessively high speeds would, under normal circumstances, result in the muscles and joints within the legs themselves being unable to maintain something they would normally physically be incapable of and the strain would ultimately cause them to give out and likely become seriously damaged. However, given that you clarified that they also augment the natural strength of his legs, I'm going to assume that entails an effect sufficient to negate the possibility of his legs breaking mid stride. Still, even with that out of the way as a concern, there is still the rest of his body to be concerned about, primarily because, as you put it, he is capable of movement so quick that his motions are hardly perceptible to normal eyes. Think, for a moment, about most things that move quickly in relation to normal human running speed. You can see them, right? A car going down the road at fifty, one hundred, two hundred miles per hour is still visible. A jet plane moving significantly faster can still be seen, if only for a few moments before moving out of a person's field of vision. If he can literally move so quickly as to hardly be visible, he would be moving so fast that the sheer force of it would likely destroy his upper body, which, as far as you've described, isn't much more durable than that of a regular person, if at all.

Even if it was, the disorientation of it would cause it to be of no real use to him, as he wouldn't have time himself to intake and process anything around him, meaning he would be slamming into things every which way due to not being able to turn well, if at all without an exceedingly wide arc with which to do it. With all that being said, a kick from a person capable of traveling at speeds exceeding those of a jet plane would be well beyond three horses in power. He could kick right through a horse if he wanted, and far more than that too.

Running like that would kill him, not help him.

As for his personality, I’m of the mind that a good bit of it is somewhat contradictory to the reactions he had upon witnessing the nature Felarya, and also contradicts what one would expect to be cultivated by the influences of Kaitalyn, who in her own bio is described as a person who finds the very concept of “Cannibalism” ,as he knew it and she calls it, to be disgusting. In my mind, being around a person who reaffirmed your initial attitudes regarding something (Kaitalyn sharing his initial disgust with some species being preyed upon), especially when the relationship spans years and develops to the point of love, would cause a person to have those attitudes ingrained so firmly within them that the removal or alteration of them would be next to impossible, and the development of an outright contradictory attitude much more improbable.

In short, if anything, it sounds as though his personality would have shaped into one that was far more empathetic even in spite of the world around him, so to have it be so radically different from that doesn’t seem highly believable nor interesting as it makes the demeanor of the character seem forced.


Lance is described as a brilliant thinker yet he is also described diving headfirst into situations. This is contradictory, a thinker thinks, they don't dive into things.

If you want to express that he has ability to make the most out of any situation he gets into, the trait you're looking for is 'cunning.'



As for the backstory, I feel the most immediate problem is the age at which he was transported into Felarya. A typical fourteen year old wouldn’t be physically nor mentally capable of handling themselves very well in a completely foreign environment, especially one with a multitude of dangers that could easily prove lethal. He simply wouldn’t have had much of a chance of lasting as long as he did, primarily because he lacked the survival skills necessary to allow him to do so, or at least if he did you neglected to mention them. Plus, had he had any reasonable amount of survival skills, it would have taken him the majority of his life up to that point to have learned them, as becoming proficient in things such as that is a very slow process that requires a lot of learning and experience, something that would have been harder for a younger person to go through. It’s simply not plausible that he survived for as long as he did in the manner that he did, and it serves to make the reader focus more on how unbelievable the character is as opposed to any positive qualities it may have, something compounded upon by the aforementioned complications with his personality and his abilities and so forth. This is just a character that wouldn’t strike the audience as sensible to any degree.


Now, when it comes to resolving some of the issues I’ve mentioned here, I’d like to make a few suggestions;

The enchanted boots that augment his speed and leg strength would be better if they were toned down sufficiently to make them actually usable without being lethal to him themselves. They can still be more than fast enough for all the intended purposes, but they seemed to be a bit out of balance. A simple alteration to the description of them would do it, in particular the editing out of that “Blur” sort of thing, because we’ve covered the complications with that.

Additionally, you provide no explanation as to how he obtained them, how he maintains them and has the knowledge to do so.


The personality and backstory conflict to the point where it is necessary to discard one and remake the other so it better suits the one that is kept.

omg....i got advice!!!!! i am quite happy i thought it was just critisism but ou helped me. as for lance you are quite right about the boots i was trying for a bleach, flash step kind of thing, but i should tone it dow, he could seem really overpowered if i try to keep it the way it is. and i will discard his bio, i am thinkng of makng him naive instad of an offworlder, it would help the personality more and make it more believeable. sorry for the absence of capital letters, i am on my phone lol. but thanks for the advice i will make the proper adjustment

Okay I fixed the problems with Lance as you suggested. How much better is it?