Typical generic thread for original characters

Well I know it's pretty cliche for your first thread to be all about your original characters you've thought up but I thought there wasn't much point in holding it off. So I'm just going to post one for maybe role playing now and continue as I become a little more involved in the setting.



Name: Allen Fenniks
Height: 1m 86cm
Build: Thin, bony
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Hazel
Species: Human
Age: 48

Backstory: Allen was a Horticultural professor in a university off world from felarya. After a powerful break through in his field the thought of more critical acclaim led him to devote the entirety of his work and free time trying to replicate his success. Unfortunately after sacrificing his time and much of his quality of life he had very little to show for it, only a few more somewhat controversial papers and a small raise in his twenty years of research. Going through a mid life crisis of sorts he opted in to one of the off world field study projects being planned in order to attempt to make up for the decades he spent in a lab. Ignorant to the dangers of Felarya he signed up happily to a project most would avoid like the plague. However his lack of quality in his life soon leads him to fall in love with the world, the thrill of it's sheer brilliance and uniqueness despite the danger far exceeding the chance of death. He decided he wanted to continue his research on the world's wildlife even though his stay had become something like an extended vacation and decided to begin creating a field guide to Felarya.

Personality and interests: Allen has always been a cautiously optimistic man. He believes in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and is quite outgoing. He always tries to experiment with new experiences. Allen has always been somewhat fit, he thinks that it's very important to keep yourself in good health though his work had always conflicted with that a small bit. He's somewhat dubious of magic and technology (both are present on his world, magic has been around far longer though) and has a predisposition towards the outdoors. This is partly what led him to his degree in horticulture. Allen has a very Live and let live outlook on life, though sometimes it can lead him to forgive and enable people who may want to wrong or manipulate him. Finally Allen is somewhat of a cinema buff (on his world cinema is fairly new) and he recently came into the possession of an antiquated video camera. He's also been trying to convince the university to allow him to create a documentary in place of a traditional paper with limited success.

So that's it for now. I suppose it's not very inspired and pretty bare bones but I felt it better to here some criticism while it's in progress, not when I' finished.

Anyway hear's my second character and Allen's partner. I feel like he's a lot more shallow than Allen is but I hope he works out. I tried to keep in mind the fact he's meant to be a foil of sorts to Allen. A disapproving brawn to compliment Allen's open and accepting brains. So this is his profile.

Name: Grant Idson
Species: Human
Height: 1m 74cm
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Hazel
Age: 32

Backstory: Grant is a man from the same university as Allen. He is neither a professor nor a student but rather a freelance collector of specimens for research and experiments. He mostly does it for the money, though also for the chance to travel and exercise. He grew up in a rather poor part of town as the oldest child in a rather large family. He ironically took the job doing physical work for the school so that his siblings could have a higher education, feeling it was his job as the oldest to make the sacrifice because there simply wasn't enough money to go around for all his brothers and sisters. Most of his adult life he lived alone, always in an apartment standard of living quite low.

Interests and Personalities: Grant has always been a man in impressive physical condition. Not out of a need to feel attractive or fit nor to be healthy but rather out of a belief of self respect. He keeps himself fit because he feels he owes it to himself to take care of himself simply on principle. Grant also has a heavy belief in following tradition and heritage, often putting important events and values as fairly high priorities. One however might say he's afraid of change, maybe even a ludite or xenophobic but he feels he's merely respecting the past. Another thing many people perceive about him somewhat unfairly is that he is a chauvanist. Some people feel sexist or potentially racist undertones when engaging in various activities with him, he often chooses the hardest job and helps others who can handle themselves fine on their own. Grant's intentions however are quite far away from this however. He grew up in a fairly poor part of town, a place with a lot of violence, a lot of sexual assault and gang crimes. His chauvanism is actually a product of a desire to protect those who can't protect themselves because of discrimination, not a belief they're lesser than him. A prime value of his is that it's the capables duty to protect the less fortunate. On a lighter note Grant enjoys sparring, reading and owns a tank of fish which he very much likes.

So yeah I feel Grant is a little heavy handed and I feel he could use a little more fleshing out, so I suppose I'll come back to this after I upload my first story which should be within the week. See if it isn't still any underdeveloped. Any and all critiques would be welcome.

He seems so far like a fairly balanced character, I think. You've included that he has good qualities, like his optimism and his 'live and let live' attitude, and negative qualities; that he can be too quick to forgive and easy to manipulate. The fact that his weaknesses are based on his good qualities tell me that you may have done this before? At least you seem to know what you are doing.

The only issue I have with his bio right now is that it doesn't really give any insight into how exactly he's managed to survive on Felarya. You might want to work on his skills/abilities and factor them in.

I actually haven't written stories or anything but when I was in high school I played a bit of DnD with my friends, though they were a lot more into it than me.

Anyway it makes sense that he wouldn't last very long on his own. I was going to pair him with a single colleague from the university since an expedition to Felarya isn't going to have many takers and he they would have a sort of smart guy/strong guy dynamic. I feel that's a little cliche though so I might try to turn that on it's head by making Allen not a total liability. Maybe his ingenuity means that it isn't constantly the physically capable character rescues the intellectual over and over.

That sounds like a very good idea to me. Avoiding cliches is something I support wholeheartedly, and really, having the smart guy save the strong guy just makes sense to me, especially if the latter is the type to rush into things without thinking (though that might be another cliche. Man this is hard. XD)

Well things often become cliche for a reason, sometimes you can't fault a working formula. But it's important to make sure they fit into the context of the story you're writing. If your character's motives don't make sense then the plot might fall apart.

Another route I was thinking of taking regarding survivability was a predator friend. This too is really common in Felarya so if I do it I want to make sure it's done in a sensible way. I was thinking the original expedition could be to the Imoreith tundra. While still dangerous it isn't quite as saturated as the jungle and it has a logical goal for Allen in the flowers that eat sound. The only sentient preds there are the ice fairies and the isolation of the tundra means litte contact with humans. This could go two ways, wanting to eat Allen extra bad because humans are so rare or wanting to keep him around because of the extreme lack of company up in Imoreith. That combined with Allen's attitude means he's liable to walk right up to one and say hello not even concerned about being on the menu. That plus the inherent mischieviousness of fairies creates a bit of tension on the fact that whether he's on the menu is still pending.

I'm just not sure whether that's too typical or not. A fairy isn't exactly a get out of jail free card because sometimes she'll be real small. The last thing I want is for the nymph to defuse any conflict before it even starts.

I've never heard of ice fairies. Can you link me to their wiki page?

I've done a bit of development in Imoreith Tundra myself, though it hasn't been on the wiki. I have the Snow Leopard Nekos and the Mute Grounds situated there. You seem to know what you're doing, as I said before, so if you want, you could work those ideas into your story, if you need a little more to work with. In fact, I think I'd be honoured if you did. ^.^

I'm actually on mobile so I can't link it but they're the frost sprites, last entry in subspecies on the fairy page.

I'll definitely check them out. I think Imoreith, and a lot of ideas on the wiki really sort of go unnappreciated. There are all these places and plants and animals that hardly even get even a passing mention in most works. I want to use a lot of them because they're all really cool, but at the same time including something just for it's own sake can detract from the ideas themselves. That's part of where the imspiration for this character's motives came from. I wanted to write a wide encompassing story and try to utilize the potential in most things the setting has to offer, and the field guide plot gives me a reason to.

Cleaned up and enhanced Allen's profile a bit as well as wrote a WIP biography for Grant. Critiques welcome, probably needed.

I like both bios. I find Allen to have much potential even though he has no fighting ability. That's rarely the case with Felarya OCs. Grant is also interesting. I find his personality very similar to an Asian's beleif systems. Traditional and very well disciplined. Both are interesting oddly my only question is: What does Grant keep in his fish tank? All the fish in Felarya are bit weird and too large to have as pets as far as I know.

Oh wow I really should have specified this but his fish tank is on his world before coming to Felarya. It's really more a small detail than anything and I might actually take it out if it seems like too much fluff. Though I could check the wiki for little fish, maybe he recreate it to an extent in his new home? Maybe he got one of those tiny mermaids? I'm just not sure if it's a little too arbitrary or not.

Emerald Electronic wrote:

Oh wow I really should have specified this but his fish tank is on his world before coming to Felarya. It's really more a small detail than anything and I might actually take it out if it seems like too much fluff. Though I could check the wiki for little fish, maybe he recreate it to an extent in his new home? Maybe he got one of those tiny mermaids? I'm just not sure if it's a little too arbitrary or not.

Okay I see now. Well like I said I've never heard anything the size of guppy or lionfish in Felarya. ^^; I'd think it'd be safer to get a pet rock maybe...Or not knowing this particular world it may be safer to just date and have a social life and no pets. Tiny Mermaids? I had an idea for them a long time ago but there aren't any of those as far as I know either.

Unless I'm mistaken the aquatic races come in tiny, human, giant and really giant sizes. I just think it would be a unique way to showcase Grant's accidental bigotry that's actually an attempt to help people. The mermaid has an infinitely safer life in captivity, yet it's still a person in captivity so the point is defeated. I just don't want to include it unless it serves the story. Do you think it seems too unnecessary?

I really like both of these characters! They're excellently balanced and make for an interesting dynamic. Of particular interest is Grant's apparent chauvinism - I like how even though he's trying to act in their best interest it's entirely a characteristic in the mind of others. The one thing I would say for Allen is perhaps to tone down his optimism just a tad to better reflect his obvious considerable intelligence. It's just a bit of a jarring contrast that a man that perceptive would be the type to throw caution to the wind and just walk up to lethal predators. Entirely up to you of course - as I said these characters have real promise!

I was attempting to go with a book-smart, not street-wise tradeoff with Allen. Easily deceived even though he's rather intelligent. I feel he would be tricked by the sentient predators at first, it's his first trip to Felarya and all he's heard are outlandish rumours. It wouldn't definitely help showcase the beautiful but deadly characteristic of Felarya I feel.

My first story is almost done, it starts in medias res somewhat because they're already on Felarya. It's centered around the two trying to gain support for the field guide project from the adventure guild. The hitch is they need a proof of concept before they'll support them. So I suppose tuning down his optimism would work. Maybe it would be best to replace it? In place of unfalturing optimism it could be a more realistic sense of tenacity?

Emerald Electronic wrote:

Unless I'm mistaken the aquatic races come in tiny, human, giant and really giant sizes. I just think it would be a unique way to showcase Grant's accidental bigotry that's actually an attempt to help people. The mermaid has an infinitely safer life in captivity, yet it's still a person in captivity so the point is defeated. I just don't want to include it unless it serves the story. Do you think it seems too unnecessary?

That's a common misconception. Some races do come in all three sizes, but it's been stated recently that's more a fluke than a species. For example when I inquired about why there weren't any giant nekos int he wiki I found out that any giant nekos in Felarya either come from off world or are freaks of nature. The naga Sophinta is shown small, which makes one think there is a race of mini nags, but in fact she's actually enchanted to be that way by another character of her owner. It helps to keep things less uniform and make them more unique I think. I follow the principle myself, but you comments have made me re-think opening the idea of my tiny mermaids. Heck they were only in one area of Felarya to begin with and I don't see how that could do much damage. I may edit that sometime later this week if I get time! If you want to look at the old bio PM me and I'll send you link next time I'm on DA.

Not to be rude Jedi but I think you may have missed the keyword aquatic. There are leviathan and kraken mermaids/chaenla as well as tiny charnla so I assumed there were tiny mermaids as well, I believe the discussion aluded to the underwater environment allowing the species to have a much larger size range.

Actually...

I'm not a big fan of preventing anything, but in this case, there is jurisprudence as to the existence of tiny mermaids, and they're not offworlders. You can go to MattyDump on dA, and look for Stark's Adventures, or to Globfish for stories set in the Jewel River. The mermaids there eat tiny mermaids. Globfish's stories in particular are a good enough argument for there being tiny mermaids.

If you believe in French, tiny nagas exist, too. They're usually part of the diet of larger nagas, as well as being part of the micro folklore in general, even beyond Felarya. 'cause admit it, an itsy-bitsy woman with the lower half of a snake is as cute as a woman and a tiny snake. That's about 1.27 hectokittens cute!

As for giant nekos, that's another kettle of fish. A buncha fics seem to have ruined them forever, but there may still be hope for them. Now tiny centaurs, THAT would be effed-up. XB

Globfish! I knew I had seen the tiny mermaids in action somewhere. I just didn't find anything on the wiki about them so I didn't know about the validity in regards to canon. And yes tiny centaurs would be quite ridiculous. I think a good baseline would be if the animal a taur is based on is human or bigger like horses there shouldn't be any tiny versions.

Anyway I was wondering what you thought of the characters Stabs? I'd love to know your opinion on them as I thoroughly enjoy the character interactions in your stories.

127 kittens is a lot of kittens... I shudder to imagine that level of cuteness.

Shudder away, you protist.

hectokittehs:

As for the characters themselves, well, I don't think much, EE. I kinda play it by ear myself. But since you ask so nicely, I guess I can at least throw my couple cents in.

First, for Allen Fenniks. I gotta ask, how'd you come up with the name? I'm kinda wary of Fennikses, Darks and Dirks. Still, I love the idea of an university researcher reevaluating what he's doing with his life; this sounds promising, character-wise. On the other hand...

You mentioned he spent decades in a lab. I thought the subject for him was horticulture, not bromatology. Speaking of horticulture... I don't know Fenniks' world, maybe they have a horticulture degree there somewhere, but I'd have went with agronomic engineer, or botanist, or maybe botanist with a specialization in vegetables of domestic interest.

You also mention the lack of quality in his life. Well, I know spiritual and educational fulfillment is important to quality of life, but... well, I'd have thrown in a debilitating condition as a deal sweetener, but if he's undergoing a hard enough midlife crisis, that might be enough on its own for a man to brave up and go to the front lines of the botanic battle.

However, that brings us to his cautious optimism. I think that's fair enough- bulb nor book will betray you. On the other hand, I'd go a bit farther on his tendency to experiment, given that he's actively looking for new stuff now, and has turned into something of a kid in a candy shop after dark when he got to Felarya. If the danger registers to him in any way, despite all the other things, I'd expect the guy to get a bit excitable.

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Now for Grant Idson. Can I call him G.I.?

Yeah, heavy-handed, you'd probably want to develop him more. Let's see if I can throw a few ideas in here...

Have you considered a military background for this guy? Only commando-level guys are deadly badass monster terrorist murder machines; most military are still mortals and can be perfectly put in danger as easily as anyone else; just look at the Korean guy from LOST, he was no more Rambo than the dentist. Some guys in the army haven't ever fired a gun, but might've seen another country or two.

I heard in TVTropes that in the US army, promotion to officer requires a college degree; this might've put a dent in his advancement if he had to start working early 'cause he didn't have money, and it seems like a good idea if he wanted to become the guy who'd be able to protect people in that hive of scum and villainy he grew up in. It'd also explain why he's kinda rough around the edges; he would've learned to focus harder on getting shtuff done than mincing words not to offend folks with a chip on their shoulder.

Jus' throwing ideas, EE. Hope it's food for thoughts at least.