Classic Felarya quotes

gt500x wrote:

"Has Melany fallen in love with a knight? She's obviously smitten with someone, possibly even a human. I mean, she won't shut up about a fellow called Sir Mix-a-lot."

I see what you did there.

"Hey, um, you ugly person. That's right. You're so ugly that ... um.. when I saw you I was like, 'Oh my god, she's so ugly.' And... and... like I think I was going to cry. Wait, I'm sorry. Was that over the line?" - Gale, proving that harpies make the insults and not the other way around.

Wanna bet? I'd cuss a Harpy's face out. Of course they might think I'd be trying to be all lovey-dovey. I can just picture someone cussing at a Harpy, who then flies mating circles around the person.

Archmage_Bael wrote:

I can just picture someone cussing at a Harpy, who then flies mating circles around the person.

It's been done.

Long time since the last quotes I wrote. Well, back to action...

"I wouldn't smell that flower if I were you. Smelling the wrong flower in this world can mean your death... by digestion." - Melchior Buronson, adventurer and former member of the O.A.D.D.

"When they wish you 'sweet dreams', I'm sure they're actually wishing you to be eaten by a Nemesis." - Anonymous aware dreamer.

"You want to go to the Jungle of Perils? You know, they don't call it the 'Jungle of Perils' because it sounds cool..." - Ender Sonus, ranger.

Feadraug wrote:

Long time since the last quotes I wrote. Well, back to action...

"You want to go to the Jungle of Perils? You know, they don't call it the 'Jungle of Perils' because it sounds cool..." - Ender Sonus, ranger.

"Well I thought going to the Jungle of Perils sounded a lot better than going to the Green Hell." - man responding to Ender Sonus, ranger.

"Quit sniffing my sex organ, you pervert!"- A miniature dryad who doesn't like it when people stop to smell the flowers.

Common Quotes:

PLEASE DONT EA- *GULP*

"And this one time in Felarya i stuck- *screams*

"Toto i don't think were in Kansas anymore..." (Wizard of Oz)

Random Dimensional Visitor:
"Whens the last time you put on a shirt?"

"the cute ones will eat you quick, the drop dead hot ones will play with you before they eat you."- 605th corporal to a visitor on the ahem "women" if you know what I mean

Honestly I just think humans referring to Naga as 'Wallets' because of their snakeskin.

"I looked up and there she stood. Right there before me was the most enormous creature I had ever seen, dwarfing anything I could have ever imagined. It was mind blowing. And it was at that exact moment, without being told anything, that I came to understand my place in this world." - a man at the Inn of Heroes telling the story of his first encounter.

"Just give it a minute." - Razor, after throwing an explosive that looks a lot like a pinecone at a Predator

"I'm not bloody hugging you." - Michael Clarke after Cinny's request for a hug

"Here, just take my wallet man... I don't want any trouble..." - A clueless offworlder in a first and probably last encounter with a Felaryan Predator

"Okay, so there I was makin' some ramen, kettle wouldn't work, took me a bit... I turn around, there's a burning hole in the front of my house. The f*ck happened?" - Razor, after one of Anna's projects exploded at the bottom of the Giant Tree

"Why?" - Flint's 2,406th consecutive effort to p*ss Mel off, failing horribly.

"If you want to be rid of a group of arrogant swordsmen, tell them about a maiden and a serpent near a giant tree, just don't mention that maiden and serpent are one and the same.
If you want to be rid of a cabal of cowardly mages, give them a books of powerful spells and summons, just don't mention that all the chants are misspelled.
If you want to be rid of a platoon of gun-ho "soldiers" tell them of the dangerous predator that stalks the lands just northeast of Negav, just don't tell them that its the Outlaw.
If you want to be rid of loitering adventurers, tell them of a temple containing great wealth, just give them a red tent and let it all work out."
~ Adrian Vetynari, the owner of the Sanguine Thorn Trade Outlet

"Did we just survive that?"- co-driver of a APC
"Yes we sure as hell did, this thing still works too! holy shit!"- Driver of the same APC mentioned above.
"I knew these things were tough but i didnt think it could take THAT!"-gunner
"Lets get the hell out of here before she comes back for a second look!"- Navigator

(these for just survived falling from over 300 feet inside a rather well built apc, The thing that dropped them from that high was a giant harpy)

"What can I say about my life since ending up in Felarya? Well for one it's been much more exciting. When before could I have said something along the lines of 'Today I enjoyed tea with a dridder while sitting on her thumb, after which I chatted with a talking tree and followed it up with an invested discussion on philosophy with a harpy while sounding like two drunken sailors'?" - George Hanson, Master Adventurer/Former Bank Clerk


"Taking into account our losses today, the carnage I just witnessed, as well as everything else that went horribly wrong, I have come to a conclusion. I HATE giant nagas." - Sidrik the Lesser, Crimson-Claw Mercenary

"Rules of thumb for a tiny. Nagas and Dridders just eat you, it's all business with them. Fairies like to toy with you. Dryads don't really care about you. You can never tell with a Human. They do everything from helping you to hurting you. And finally there are Nekos. They don't just eat you, no. Nekos make sure you're totally humiliated and broken, in body and spirit. Then, after they play and torture you, they finally eat you." Nina the Neera, commenting on larger species.

"Giant predators, Human sized beings, tinies...they are all the same. They are all slaves to emotions like love and fear. That is why I can kill them so easily. I can use that love and fear against them in ways they dare not imagine." Sariah, to a Giant Naga she's about to kill.

"I know it may sound kinda funny, but I really prefer to meet people then eat people.? Leila, talking to some adventurers as to why she didn't eat them.

"Wanna see Vivian's head explode? OY, VIVIAN, that elf Tarynn and the Naga Katrika are not only more beautiful then you, but they have better boobs then you! Yours are way too big!" Nergal, taunting Vivian after stealing some of her stuff.

"So, you're new here huh? Looking to find some treasure? Bet you won't last a week." random customs official to a newcomer adventurer.

" You Guys think you  Know all that's out there in the Jungles. But You don't. Take it from me You don't know even one fourth of all the Crazy ass, dangerous, and Down right terrifying things that Lurk out there.  The Most Lethal Things out there are not even Giant sized. Sure They're Bigger then a Man but Not as big as the smallest Giant predator. But rest assure They're one hundred times worse. I've seen Things That have ripped entire Tank platoons apart. Take repeated RPG Hits and just shrug them off. Creatures That can drive a Man insane from simple eye contact. Things That are More evil then the demons of hell. Things that'll swarm you in the numbers of one hundred thousand or more. Abominations not of this Land or even Natural origin. Creatures That Twist and deform Men's Bodies into insidious monsters and will consume your very Mind. Creatures that Produce a Black flame that Once it hits a man's arm the Only to put it out is to chop it off otherwise it'll keep burning until there's Nothing Left of him. A Special kind of Monster that Steals Your Very Life force if it desired to, to feed itself and Heal any wound you inflict upon it. I've seen a Creature that was capable of Killing a Genie with nothing more then its own 2 meter Long claws. Creatures That just don't know when to die and if you do manage to kill one, It'll only "stay dead" until you walk within Lunge range then It'll Rise up one final time to try to cut you in half with its Ultra sharp claws and its Supernatural strength. Creatures that are somewhere between the Line of mortal creature and supernatural Being. A monster that'll drive you into madness if you stay near it too long. Rituals that seem to try to break the seals placed on the Dark Goddess Herself. And lastly a parasitic organism that is so Infectious and so completely Other worldly we had to Fire Bomb a square kilometer of Jungle so much that Not even white ashes remained. All Just to make it not a single cell of it survived. so Punk if you really think You know whats out there, go on ahead and go run into one of those Things yourself. If you manage to survive even one encounter with any of the above and make it back home. Then I'll buy you all a beer everyday for the rest of your life. That is if you all don't go insane and they go throw you into the Nut House." - Master Sergeant Morice Kilburn, 605th FRCD, 7th Reconnaissance Division (Retired). Speaking to a adventurer Group Preparing to head into the jungle from Negav city.


"When we tested the Mk2 Magi-tech Bomb, we had no Idea what was going to Happen. We had a test warhead with a 500 kilogram payload. We figured that the Explosive power would be equal to a small Tactical Nuclear weapon. We were wrong, Very Very wrong, you see it wasn't that the device didn't work, It worked well. The Problem was though that it work Much much Better then what we could have expected. Instead of the 3 kiloton yield explosion we were expecting, we had a Detonation equal to 2.7 Megatons. You see the Payload of the bomb is a substance that reacts Violently with magic. Producing it here in Felarya is very very hard due to the few Magical Dead spots here were its safe to produce it. It works by pulling the magic from around a area like a vortex until it hits saturation point. Once it hits the saturation point it converts the absorbed magic into Heat Light and Kinetic energy. However for Our test we opted to install a few devices onto the test warhead to supersaturate the Material just as it reached it saturation point. To our horror we discovered that it significantly Boosted the yield. The Testing grounds, the closest observation bunkers and 200 personnel were wiped out in flash. The bunker I was in was over 3 miles away and it nearly came crashing down on top of us. The Oddest observation made after the test was that everything within a Mile radius of the Detonation point was dead, Not just Dead in the sense of Lifeforms as expected but also dead in magic. There was no Magic Present at all. None, we learned of this as soon as a recovery team went into the area and found themselves without the translation effect that is nearly Omnipresent here. Thankfully all of us were taught languages in the event we came into areas where the Translation effect didn't work. We observed the spot for 4 months afterwards and noted that the magic very slowly returned to area starting from the edges. It was only at the end of the 4 month that we finally detected magic at ground zero. Such a terrifying weapon we have created here. I sit here and wonder if this feeling of fear, terror, and the unknown was what Robert J Oppenheimer felt after the detonation of the first Nuclear weapon." -Unknown 605th FRCD Scientist.