A donation of a character

[/center]hello forum people I would like to give you a character to use in various stories that you may make.

my name is unimportant but I am a aspiring writer I want to present you with the main character of my story to use as you please

his name is Lloyd, he is an immortal.

he was infected with a virus that altered him so that he can lift 1.5- 2 tons, can run at speeds of 80+ mi/h, also in his brain is a small collection of cells
that are surrounded by a dark energy bubble, It is impenetrable except if it is thrown into a singularity(a black hole). out of this bubble grow the cells if the ones around it are destroyed. also(this is important) if it lands on the ground a plant like organism will grow from the cells and absorb calcium from rocks underground(for bones) while Lloyd grows inside, in a womb like sack, after 7-9 months he will grow back. if Lloyd is swallowed by a living organism and digested, the bubble will attach itself to the intestines and grow into a parasitic organism that will drain the organism of nutrients and its bones of calcium, then when the immortal is done growing inside it the sack he is in produces a necrotic poison/venom that will rot a hole in the organism when he bursts out so that he may evacuate from It. also I would note he is exactly like a human being except for these details

also of note is that this is hereditary,and the powers are genetically inherited along with increasing the off-springs muscle mass by 50 percent although(thanks to certain factors) they can only lift up to one ton. please feel free to experiment with this idea as you please. the only thing I ask is that it not reach from this forum.

I have no current interest in your offer as the story I am writing does not require such a character. I would be very hesitent to use such a character as I find what you have described to be shallow; over powered; very underdeveloped and it just doesn't fit Felarya on several levels.

I am utterly confused right now, but I've really got to ask what train of thought you had when you thought that this was, in any way, a respectable idea. First off, the usage of characters made by others does in itself require a good understanding of the persona of said character, otherwise one wouldn't be able to convey well what the original owner had intended. On the 'bright' side though, you seem to have effectively negated that issue by giving this thing no personality whatsoever! Two negatives do not make a positive though in this case and the distinct absence of any description of persona serves to make this look to be nothing more than an attempt at some character through which fantasy fulfillment can occur.

Lacking any real fallacy with characterization to pick upon by virtue of said characterization being non existent, I suppose what I can say in regards to this is narrowed down to the abilities of the character. And my thoughts can be summed up in one word: Overpowered. All of them are rather non sensible in their own right, more so because without any background information there is no justification for such abilities in the first place, but that's making the generous presumption that you could in any way justify such a thing as being immortal and seemingly indestructible. None of it makes sense and it is in no way suitable for the context of the Felaryan universe.

But unlike cauldronborn I don't have zero interest, no. I have negative interest in this, as in I wish to see it disappear or at least go through such heavy revision that it bears no resemblance to itself in its current form.

Forgive me for being quite abrasive but this just isn't going to fly.

Do not want

thank you for your opinions I value them for they point out flaws I may fix

the first complaint, no personality, was on purpose, I want people to give him his own personality(i should have said so) I want him to be given a personality by others so that the finished work is entirely original

the second complaint, overpowered, isn't really so but (I am a dumb***) but I forgot to list his weaknesses, but he is just human sized, he cant compete in felayra without much power, and knows zero magic.

weaknesses- neuro-toxins completely paralyze him

his bones are just as breakable as any humans

blood loss equals black outs

he regenerates at a (relatively) insane rate but it would still take a month to regrow an arm.

the bubble must be touching something to grow back

1.5-2 tons isn't much, considering faleyras fauna

any more opinions are valued greatly

Yeah...This is probably better suited to the character discussion forum. I'll just be moving it there.

There is no point "donating" such a character, since anyone can come up with a similar character in the space of a few minutes
If someone was to donate a character, it should be a well developed character, not something like this. This character, as has been said, is shallow and overpowered, even things you listed as "weaknesses" are strengths!

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weaknesses- neuro-toxins completely paralyze him

That's a strength, neuro-toxins are usually designed to kill.

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his bones are just as breakable as any humans

Impossible, he can lift over a ton. His bones would have to be strong enough to support that.

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blood loss equals black outs

Just like a nomral human, hardly a notable weakness.

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he regenerates at a (relatively) insane rate but it would still take a month to regrow an arm.

That's still insanely fast. That's not a weakness. You're stating like it is a weakness.

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1.5-2 tons isn't much, considering faleyras fauna

Except it is. You throw something weighing 1.5 tones at a predator, they'll feel it. No human should be able to go around killing predators like that without specialised equipment and that requires a team of other humans to protect you since said equipment is usually ineffective against smaller threats (of which there a lot) and unwieldy.

I apologize for my stupidity, all my experience of faleyra comes from the manga. looking at the large predators that I have seen, being 70- 200ft tall I assumed these were uncommon but not rare, and that they would weigh at least fifteen tons, If I was hit with one fifteenth of my weight it wouldn't have a considerable effect on me. but if you could kindly do the math for that I am not sure of my calculations, i amhorrible at math, when I mentioned he could lift a ton, I didn't say he wouldn't break under that strain I meant it that he can exert 1.5-2 tons of force, the neuro-toxins would keep him permanently immobile in the forest. the fact that it takes a month to regrow a arm means he cant use it, and also I am not sure on his speed, another case of math. If you want me to give him a personality I will, I just liked the thought of someone else giving him one for I have already given him one, If this would help then I would gladly do so.

No, no. There's no need to make any changes. I will gladly take your character as is. However, I must ask you not to take offense to the creative liberties that I may exercise with him.

go ahead gt500x I have wanted to see what others would do with my dear character, see what he would be in someone Else's eyes, do with him as you wish

Hm, interesting idea, but as others say, it'd be hard to make it work. To try to put it in a non-harsh way, since that's my nature, I think the problems arising are these; it's very hard for someone to use someone else's character, no matter the circumstance. They can use them, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will us them correctly.

Only the one who creates a character knows exactly what they would do, how they would act, and what personality traits they possess. It is possible for one to create a character and try to let someone else use it... but at the same time, it's just as easy for someone else to create a new character just like that one being presented.

There's also the issue of donating the character to everyone, instead of just one or two people. If, hypothetically, an assortment of people do use the character presented, chances are slim that each person will portray them in the same way. When a situation like this is presented, it sends mixed messages to other people, and no one will understand how the character is actually meant to be played.

I'm not going to get too much into the character themselves, as a few others seemed to have already touched base on that. I won't say it's not a good character idea, as it probably could be if used in the right circumstances or way. The only problem is, and this goes for all characters, it's much harder for other people to find this correct way to use them, and as such, the turnout will probably be less than desirable.

It's hard to elaborate on points that other haven't already brought up already however... I hope I'm giving a bit more than just restating what has already been said. I just felt the need to explain things a little more. It might actually be a good thing that you're trying to get others to use a specific character, and a human no less, rather than have them create their own armies of giant, naked, lesbian nagas that someone have befriended all the canon characters without ever actually meeting any of them. Points for that right off the bat. Although it'd probably take a bit more.

I think I've covered everything, or at least things that haven't already been said by some others. I'm sure if you make a few select tweaks, it could end up being an interesting character, but at the same time, I think the character would be most interesting if it were played by you, and not others. I hope this helps a bit, and even if it doesn't, I hope it at least came off as friendly. I really hope this didn't come off as unfriendly or hostile in any way. You're new to the forums, so I can't expect you to know everything yet. Sorry if this post seems unneeded at all, I just thought it would help.

well, I will then institute my personality for him, then let others do what they will with the finished subject. I will post this in this sub-forum and see how he is taken. but one last question before I proceed. as I have said this character is already finished in my head but which of his ages should I use.

200yrs-700yrs old, a man who looks just twenty one but is much older, comes equipped with nothing but the skills of an extremely talented hunter

1000yrs-5000yrs old, a mercenary who has gone up against incredible odds single-handed and won easily. highly cynical, cracks jokes mid battle, likes to eat hearts, comes equipped with 6 inch thick plate mail, a large 12ft sword & a reportaire of magic spells from his world.

5500yrs-10587yrs old, the oldest thing in his current galaxy, Lloyd helps the civilization that his children have made & has become more merciful over the years, comes equipped with a Loki experimental combat suit, a Gauss cannon and an experimental recharging plasma blade

Lloyd zwyth wrote:

5500yrs-10587yrs old, the oldest thing in his current galaxy, Lloyd helps the civilization that his children have made & has become more merciful over the years, comes equipped with a Loki experimental combat suit, a Gauss cannon and an experimental recharging plasma blade

I'm gonna mention that, if he's the oldest thing in the galaxy, then that is an extremely young galaxy. I'm no expert in astronomy, but a galaxy only a few thousand years old would be infantile, even perhaps embryonic.

In this character I see mistakes like those that I made with my first try. What I advise you to do is completely scrap this idea and any other thoughts you may have. Empty your cup, so to speak. Do some research on humans in the Felarya Wiki then build a new character from the ground up.

first, I meant that Lloyd is the oldest organic, sorry

second, I have been working on this character for nearly 3 years now, I guess he only fits in in his world, I just like faleyra, I have read some of the wiki, and the mangas & I wanted to see how my character might fit in this setting. humans just seem drastically outmatched by everything, I wanted to see how my character might stand in the face of the faleyran wildlife. I also wouldn't want to make a predator because of, well, the fact that they eat humans, because anytime I imagine the excruciating pain of being digested alive, & I wouldn't wish that on another being, human or no, so my answer to this was to pull my chracter into the fray, someone who could stand toe to toe with some of the worst faleyra has, also, an epiphany I had, it would extraordinarily easy to climb into a predators windpipe while they swallow you & choke them to death.

Lloyd zwyth wrote:

first, I meant that Lloyd is the oldest organic, sorry

second, I have been working on this character for nearly 3 years now, I guess he only fits in in his world, I just like faleyra, I have read some of the wiki, and the mangas & I wanted to see how my character might fit in this setting. humans just seem drastically outmatched by everything, I wanted to see how my character might stand in the face of the faleyran wildlife. I also wouldn't want to make a predator because of, well, the fact that they eat humans, because anytime I imagine the excruciating pain of being digested alive, & I wouldn't wish that on another being, human or no, so my answer to this was to pull my chracter into the fray, someone who could stand toe to toe with some of the worst faleyra has, also, an epiphany I had, it would extraordinarily easy to climb into a predators windpipe while they swallow you & choke them to death.

You obviously missed the entire point.

Surviving on Felarya is not about power. Being super powerful will likely only attract something worse who'll want to have a go at you. You can keep trying to scale up, but then the Guardians squish you.

Surviving on Felarya is about finesse, skill, intelligence, stealth and quick thinking. Since this guy has so little personality we can only assume his defense is the ridiculous weapons and powers he's running around with.

I'd only use him to have him be killed off in about five minutes to prove a point....

No offense but "giving away" a character purely so you can get more views is kind of a dumb plan to begin with. Specially when it's something that everyone and their mothers could make at the drop of a hat

*reads first post*

Sorry, but I can't buy a character like this. By all means, this guy is not just immortal, but invincible. You see, this kind of overpowered character doesn't belong to Felarya - and no, the excuse of "he isn't from Felarya" doesn't count, since there are many characters out of this world that fit the setting in many ways.

*keeps reading the thread*

Also, this character is nothing but skills. Nothing about his personality, nothing about his interests, his backstory... nothing. I've seen pencil & paper RPG stats pages with more substance than this. Sorry if I'm being harsh, but sometimes being honest is the only way to make a straight point understood. And the "I want people to give him a personality" isn't a good excuse either. You should really work on that.

And his weaknesses... Sorry, but given the magic properties of Felarya's soil, his healing factor would be powered up, which would mean that he might even regrow an arm in days instead of months, for example (going from your example, that's it). Not having magic isn't a good excuse for a weakness either, since many characters - official or not - have no magic knowledge and still make it alive. Dexterity, strength, cunning... name them. And I'm talking about human-sized characters.

Now why this character doesn't fit in Felarya, you might ask? Many have given you an answer, with their points of view, and I'm going to do the same. This world is about perils, about survival, about adventures, about predators, about preys and about "there's always a bigger fish". Meaning that your character might be very powerful, but sooner or later he'll encounter someone that will overpower him. And being this Felarya, chances aren't big, mainly because, in first place, neither your character nor something in those Dragon Ball Z levels would be allowed by the Guardians. They're there, watching and making sure nothing that resembles a Gary Stu, a Mary Sue or just a god-modder makes it way in.

*ends reading the thread*

Also, about the use of other people's characters, first you need to know them. Best way is asking the creator of such characters what they're like, how they'd face certain situations, what are their hopes, dreams and fears, etc. And still, it's hard to represent a character that isn't yours, mainly because unless you created it, results may vary from something respectful to a horrible OOC (out of character) situation.

Think of all the time people have put in their characters, trying to making them unique, to have their own strengths and weaknesses, what they like and what they dislike, who their best friends and worst enemies (if the have) are, how life was for them until present day... Now think of picking any of these characters and making them act totally different from what the original creator thought. Wouldn't it be BAD? It is, indeed, that's why you need to make research, ask and get interested in the matter.

My final opinion on the whole thing? Well, I'll be frank: you need to go back to the drawing table and rework this character. He can still be a humanoid with a very long lifespan and some interesting features (the whole plant thing makes me think he could be a sentient, walking plant that resembles a human, but nothing like a dryad) that could explain some things, but still trying to balance him so he won't be an overpowered character. You should first make a character interesting in many points before offering him to others to use in their stories. And also, you need your own stories that will flesh him out. We've all done that with our own characters, mind you.