Deleted Scenes

Hey everybody.

As a writer, sometimes I do things I'm not sure everyone will like as much as I do. I always take them off the story I post, but sometimes it's kinda hard to delete stuff. So I've made this thread to post things that in the end didn't go in a story, but that you'd like to share anyway. If it happens to you too, here you go.

That said, expect a lot of irredeemability and bad writing here, at least from me.

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For starters, I just took this part off "The Joy of Hunting Part 5- Level Grinding". It contained a breaking of the fourth wall, and it seemed a little narcissistic of me to let it in the story. The Joy of Hunting isn't about me.

So well, after Marlene decides to do some level grinding, since they arrived in an area that's been depleted of fairies and is known for its dimensional unstability, which tends to bring humans in, to which Metzger answers he's not really all that enthusiastic, Samantha complains I'm not good at vore. As it turns out, Isa has read my writing and has her own two cents in the matter, despite Metzger's constant attempts to get back on track with the plot.



"C'mon, we're friends, aren't we?" the darker-skinned fairy [Marlene] grinned. "Who hasn't at least TASTED one?"

"Me." Metzger [Invisible male fairy] said, realizing he was very alone in the sentiment.

The three fairies [Metzger is usually cut out from the narration] looked at each other for a while.

"Ah, don't worry, bro [Samantha, one of the three fairies, Metzger's sister]. We'll save you one."

"Yeah, a really cute guy for you." [Spoken by Isa, friend of Samantha and Marlene]

"Err, no." Metzger barked. "I don't want penis in my mouth, thank you very much."

Marlene gasped in mock horror for a moment.

"Is he as virgin as he sounds?"

"Well, I've never really SEEN him, so..."

"Are you a virgin?" Isa asked, sounding interested... and playful, but not the kind of playful HE would be interested in.

"That's none of your business, Isa."

"Hey, I'm just..."

"He's right, Isa. None of our business." Marlene grinned. "Now let's go get ourselves something worth it!"

"Yeah! I've always wanted to do this!" Samantha giggled. "If only we could get a guest writer or something, Stabs is pretty awkward where it comes to vore!"

"You just want to get laid." Metzger scoffed.

"Well, we know THAT isn't happening with him. He takes a nearly sadistic delight in keeping his protagonists sexually frustrated." Isa shrugged.

"Just in that?" Marlene barked. "From the beginning of this series, I have been eaten by a baby, plucked out of his stomach, chased into a corner of a kitchen by the same baby, woken up rudely TWICE, nearly eaten by aforementioned baby's mother just after he tried to eat me again, had my house invaded by a horny lesbian couple who used up my computer's RAM memory, been called selfish and a bad friend by a stranger, discovered that the moment that baby and his mother had been humiliating me had gotten uploaded to the web, and that was in a policed area!" she protested. "The moment I got out of it, I was drugged by a faebane and then hit on the head with a rubber mallet. I can't think of a thing he does NOT take a sadistic delight in!"

"He? I... I always thought Stabs was a she!" Samantha frowned. "Pale brown hair, fair skin, and big bosomed?"

"No, that's a character, silly." Isa pointed. "The one with the frilled hadaka, you mean? Well, YOU wish that existed."

"Damn, you mean...!? Oh, god, the disappointment!" she protested. "What happened to the good old times when writers just wrote themselves?"

"What? You thought you were Stabs? You thought we ALL were Stabs?" Marlene grimaced. "That's... wow, I don't know what to say..."

"I do: meta humor is on bad taste." Metzger mumbled, invisibly. "We probably should try to get back in track."

"Though you know, come to think of it, he DID write himself, as Hansel Schön, didn't he? The guy who was off his clothes in a second? With the stun gun and the sword, the first time we appeared?" Isa rubbed her chin, completely ignoring Metzger. "Hansel never actually got to fight us, though. I guess it's for the best, we wouldn't be here if he had. Though maybe he still can. I wonder if he'll ever complete that one, he has to fix my name, it's not Tina anymore, there's too many Tina. Now I'm Isa."

"Stabs can write about himself, or meta, forever if you let him. So let's all cooperate a little here and try to get the plot moving." Metzger sighed.

"What for? What happens if the plot advances?" Marlene asked. "Why would I want the plot to advance? If the story so far has been any indication, I don't think I want that."

"You get to vore something."

"Awesome, let's go."

That's some pretty interesting reasoning here XD

"What for? What happens if the plot advances?" Marlene asked. "Why would I want the plot to advance? If the story so far has been any indication, I don't think I want that."

"You get to vore something."

"Awesome, let's go."


That line made me chucckle out loud behind my screen XP

Thanks, guys.

This one is a deleted scene from All Fun and Games. While at first I thought it would be hilarious to show Elsie from a different perspective, and also the three stragglers' common perspective, including the fact they don't speak English, it was way too silly for the main story, so I decided against keeping it. It wasn't an appropriate climax.

However, the idea of everyone speaking badly dubbed Engrish was too funny to just delete it. So here you go.


Deleted Scene- Gomen Napologisai

======

"I'm really sorry to have manhandled you two like that. Putting your brother through that, knowing he was scared of heights, it was... I have no excuse for what I did." the giantess [Elsie. She's nuts. Only helping them because a friend recommended them.] said, before her eyes. "I'll try to be a better person from now on. I really will. Please, Usagi-san accept Elsie's apologies."

And that she'd said while sitting on her heels, with her shins on the ground and her hands folded in front of her, with her head hanging low.

-Strange that she'd adopted this position. She must've asked Suzume about it- Butterfly [Straggler] thought. -I guess... she really means it, would she have asked about it if she weren't serious... hm...?-

"What you did to my brother Itachi [Also a straggler, with extreme acrophobia. He has spent a long time during the last chapters being lifted off the ground: right now he's incapable of getting off his knees]. I'll never forget it." she declared, in the language of lousy subbing. "I cannot forgive what you did. Even if my brother forgives it, I will not."

The colossal woman before her, once proud and mighty, was now humbly bowing all the way down before her. It was almost unbelievable- a creature of godlike proportions was asking for her apologies...

"Gomen nasai." she repeated. "Gomen..."

Hell, this was almost flattering.

"But I'll bear you no ill will, Erosi." she solemnly declared. "Rise."

Foreign accents can be absolutely atrocious. The worst part is that they don't go away in the solemn moments.

"Domo arigato, Usagi-san!" Elsie uncurled, raising her gaze, but not too much. "I'll never forget your kindness. Itachi-sama?"

Weasel, on the other hand, was clinging as tightly as he could to the ground, barely able to speak a word.

"I can't forgive you. That is why." Hare nodded at Weasel. "But he'll come back to us."

"Sumi masen, Itachi-sama." Funny, only Suzume-kun called him Itachi-sama, the rest of the commoners called him a snob, foulmouthed bastard and some even threw rocks at him. No wonder he was losing his hair like that. And for some odd reason, this seemed to simply be right. Someone was sorry about hurting him, and if he had felt the vibrations right, she was curled on the ground on her knees, just like him, only for different reasons.

And she sounded so sincere. She wasn't trying to curry favor, that much was clear. She didn't look like she needed money -aside from the whole being naked thing-, and here he had no power. Someone was genuinely sorry. That counted for something...

"Usagi..." he mumbled.

"Itachi-san?" she gasped.

"Usagi. Closer."

Hare moved closer to him, and sat on her knees, right next to him. He mumbled something.

"I accept Erosi-chan's apologies." he mumbled.

"Oniisan! You're upset!"

"I'll be fine... tell her I forgive her." he mumbled. "Please."

Hare grimaced for a moment.

"Itachi-san accepts your apologies." she told Elsie.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Itachi-san." Elsie chirped. Then she raised her body, with some difficulty -understandable, considering the amount of material to drag against gravity-, and looked at Sparrow, smiling.

Much to his chagrin -and Hare's-, she was blushing.

"Suzume-kun, do you think we'll meet again someday?" she started fiddling with her hands. "I really enjoyed our time together. You're a real man."

-WTF!?- Hare gasped quietly.

The giantess bit her lower lip, to their combined horror. "I really want us to meet again, Suzume-kun..."

"Ah, eh..." he gasped quietly. She seemed to stir at the sight of him scratching the back of his neck in worry.

"Suzume-kun is so cute!" she giggled. "Daijobu, you don't need to answer now. But if we do meet again... I'd like us to know each other a little better." she added.

-Kami-sama, why do I always get the nutty ones?- Sparrow gasped quietly.

"Well... sayonara!" she finished, walking away from this example of the subjectivity of a translation. "Sayonara, Suzume-kun!" she added, standing up and walking away.

-Watch your back, Jack, bitches be crazy.- he thought to himself.

Surprised and a little miffed, Hare turned to him.

"What is it EXACTLY you did to put her in that mood, you!?" she whispered.

He just shrugged, completely clueless.



















Here's another deleted scene, this one from Survival Lessons.

Back when I had no idea what to do with Class 8, I had been thinking that all trends were pointing to a Felarya without invulnerable predators, the kind that wins until proven otherwise- often my favourite. Well, that prompted me to think that maybe I needed to put some mercy in FOOD.

That was a wonderfully, gargantuanly stupid idea... I couldn't make it work.

Here's Marcel, struggling with the temptation to get out of character to benefit predators.


======

Deleted Scene- Do well but not perfect.

Marcel [Survival instructor] fingered the grenade in his hands. Then he raised it to his face.

-Now listen carefully, because this, believe it or not, is the most important thing you can learn here.- he stressed.- Even I am not sure I've learned it myself.

-Dealing with explosives isn't just a matter of pulling the pin and hurling it right. The thing with explosives, with guns... humans, though not just humans, have long sought to control what they can't. To harness everything. It's not really wrong, and let's face it, it's most of what makes life worthwhile. The quest for power can give meaning to some lives, and from there, comfort to others. But I'm rambling. What I'm trying to make you think...- Marcel grinned- is that you should look at this grenade here.

Letting out a chuckle, he put his finger inside the pin. Then he started spinning it around.

-Look at it. A single well-placed explosion will kill any number of fairies. Even predators are going to get their flesh ripped open. Can you IMAGINE it?- he laughed.- Can you IMAGINE the power to make them REGRET they ever picked a fight with you!? Can you IMAGINE the power to wreak the vengeance of a MILLION UNHEARD DEATHS!?- he cackled.- Imagine it. We'd be one predator closer to a world that makes sense. We'd make the world one safer. All it takes is that we do this.

He hurled the grenade away, towards a tree.

-Look upon my works, ye mighty, and DESPAIR!- he yelled. -CAN YOU SEE THE EXPLOSION, CRACKLING THROUGH THE AIR! HOW ABOUT THE FIREBALL RISING INTO THE SKY? And in the end...- he hissed- in the end, there's only smoke... smoke, billowing through the ground, the same color as its charred victims...

Marcel turned around.

-And anyone could've done that.- he said, without a smile. He looked more serious now than ever.- Anyone, weaker or stronger than I am, could've done that. And kill anyone, anything. Avoid this, please. It's said power corrupts. I'd say we all are corrupted to some degree. Predators don't do what they do to anything smaller than them, it's not just about size. They do what they do to those weaker than them.- he grimaced.- Ours, at least, no offence meant...

He sighed, looking where his class would stand in a couple days. There had been no explosion, as he hadn't pulled the pin. This time, he needed to get this one right. He needed to make the message clear. He needed to be eloquent about it, and eloquence had never been one of his virtues.

This place inspired him, however, and that's why he was rehearsing it here of all places. He had to hand it to Felarya- it was a fine place, worth fighting for. To some, it was worth dying for. No matter how many times he looked, this place always had something new to give.

Once upon a time, there'd been a patch of blue flowers, where now an anthill was. Right over it, sticking out of a trunk, there was a large vine full of pink orchids. The tree next to him was now a lot thicker than it had once been, and he could no longer wrap his arms around it anymore, as he liked to do before.

Above and to the left, there were some large nests resting on a branch. Several dovelike birds nested in there, chirping happily, unconcerned with the big friendly man. Once upon a time, this glade had housed a small family of duikers. He had left when he found them, hoping they would enjoy the place as much as he would. Then he'd come back, to find a busy squirrel running into a hollow tree.

The words still didn't come, though.

======

Marcel thought back to that time, and to the important lesson he'd learned back then. That's when he realized it- he'd never really learned a lesson.

When he had met Petra, Daisy, and Marissa. He'd never learned the lesson. He had been rash, he had been scared, he had been a bully, he'd done what he did as soon as he knew he would. But he'd still do it again if the circumstances were repeated. How could he expect to teach something he'd never known in the first place?

But he knew, that somewhere in himself, there was something important he wanted to tell. It was paramount- no, it was vital. There was something very important that he had to say. It was something about power. Something that regarded predators. Something... moral? Something that regarded morality. And he couldn't say it, because he didn't know how to. Eloquence escaped him- probably, had he been more rational, the meaning of this would elude him as well. Because he knew it wasn't necessarily right, either. It was just his opinion.

"With great power comes great responsibility..." he tried, with the tried and true recipes. It wasn't clear enough. "Power corrupts..." he mumbled. "Temis hominis consiescat unis libris?" argh, he didn't even remember how'd that one go! Humming to himself, he tried with something else.

"The worst corruption of all, the only thing truly worth fearing in this world, is hypocrisy." he quoted. "Nothing is beneath a man who betrays his own values."

Wow, that must make me really scary, he thought, with a chuckle. That one was worth looking into, but it was probably not the right thing to say. He was already at peace with himself. Just like most predators...

"I'd like to think we've given you strength..."

No. That one was wrong. He knew it couldn't be put like that. Even if everything else had failed, he couldn't let the FAITH fail. If he wasn't sure he had taught them everything right, then he shouldn't have taught them anything at all. Their very LIVES hung upon this.

But he HAD taught them everything right. He was sure of that.

"We've given you strength." he said. "We've given you power. We've taught you everything we know. I'm proud of you all. You can all handle yourselves. However, now comes the hardest part. We've given you the weapons to defend yourselves. Here is the part, however, where we tell you that, just like we told you before, at one point, it'll all be futile. And while I'm not one to pry into other people's moralities, there's just ONE thing that can't be accepted..."

No, not one, two. Well, there could be more...

"There are still things that, even in this limit situation we've all looked for on our own, can't be accepted." Marcel frowned. "The first one is stating that the end justifies the means. Just like when I say we specialize in disuassion, I'm slightly misleading as I say this; I'm not saying the objective justifies the methods. I'm saying that the END, the END itself, doesn't justify what happens BEFORE IT. We're all going to die. But none of us ever thought that our morality depended on the fact we'd live forever. That hasn't changed. I've seen this happen more than once, people who believe that as long as things end, everything's alright. That since they'll die, they're justified in killing, stealing, raping, backtalking... if you think that way, quit now. Quit now and be a good person. Or I'll kill you myself." he glared.

Maybe that was too much?

"If you think that way, quit now." he said. "No, I'm sticking with the 'or I'll kill you myself'. Definitely. The second thing that can't be tolerated is believing that we are meaningless. We aren't meaningless." Marcel sighed.

No, this needed more emphasis.

"We aren't meaningless!" he exclaimed. "The first person to believe in our worth should be ourselves. Each of you must always remember who you are. Always remember what you believe in first of all. Because one day, that'll be put to the test. And if you let what you believe in falter and be swept away by the wind, you'll become just meat with a gun, and it'll be something you have done to yourself. It's true that one day, you'll lay down your lives for people you've never met. You'll lay down your lives to people, I guarantee this, whose guts you'll hate. And you'll see it happen to everyone around you. But until that happens, you need to stay alive and true to yourself. No matter what the world throws at you, no matter how hard it tries to break you, you can't let it break you. Each of us is a world- and it's a shame to die at the hands of anything less than your equal."

Of course, predators are worlds too, only bigger, Marcel thought. No, this speech was crap. He tried again, from the part about "don't let yourself degenerate into scum".

"Don't let doom make you think the rules don't apply anymore. They always did, and now's no different. We all were always going to die. And if you think that means you can do whatever you want to whoever you want, you're wrong. FOOD is about protecting other people. Immortality isn't the source of morality, and mortality doesn't justify immorality; no matter how close the end may be, the same rules apply. When you die, everything you've ever done to anyone else will still be there. The only difference will be that you won't care. If you never cared in the first place, don't bother dying over it. We'll NOT be anyone's excuse."

Then he took a deep breath.

"The next thing is the most difficult of them all. When you're out there, you might meet predators. If you're lucky, you may even get them at your mercy instead of the other way around. If this happens- don't make killing it your first priority. Make surviving your first priority. Because destroying something that big... can destroy you as well. It might seem like a fair price to pay. Your sanity for their lives. Believe me that it's not. We are trying to protect people- and destroying one person, which they are, unfortunately, to destroy the threat as well, it simply won't do."

No, wait a moment, that wasn't what he wanted to say. It was wrong, too: a predator being a predator, they WERE responsible for their actions and thus accountable for them, subject to retaliation, and no cheap-ass pussy philosophy minor was going to get them off the hook. He'd have shot himself in the face for saying that out loud. But it was close. It was more about power. Power destroying identity.

"No, scratch that." he mumbled. "What I'm trying to say... you'll understand if you ever have the power to kill one thing you hate." Marcel sighed. "Those things you hate, they're not worth killing. They're not worth closing your eyes either. Don't ever let the things you believe in falter. Whatever happens, whatever situation you find yourself in, always give the devil his due. We are going to die, but we're not soldiers. We're not trying to get others to die for what they believe in..."

He grunted and punched the tree closest to him. He kept saying the opposite of what he meant!

Maybe he wasn't approaching this. What was it he was trying to avoid? Maybe it had to be made simple. He thought again. What was it he wanted to say? What was he trying to get them to do? Maybe he should be straight about it.

"Don't kill stuff you'd enjoy killing too much."

Frankly, that was the right way to say it. That was EXACTLY what he was trying to say. Was that so hard to say?

Maybe it was...

Wow, Marcel was sounding like me for a second there...

Hm. I don't exactly keep my deleted scenes, but I could look around my stories and see if I remember anything I've taken out...

From The Joy of Hunting, Part 7.

Echo jokes -also known as anadiplosis. While at first I was proud of the echo jokes in The Joy of Hunting, which I used to characterize the acoustic properties of the Forest of Whispers- which I've always found downplayed- I realized that anadiplosis is a lot easier in Spanish- and I have a long way to go.

When I was done with this chapter, I found out it was 67 kilobytes long. So I decided to substract the echo jokes. They were pretty daft either way- and I couldn't do them all chapter long consistently. It's an odd chapter, not very serious, but there were other things I could be less serious about.

Also, OM NOM NOM is already getting old.



Deleted Scene- M-ECHO-NOM-E

"This place is horrible!" Metzger [Male, invisible fairy from Kortiki] complained. "We should have went to the beach instead!"

"...dead, dead, dead!" the echos that gave the Forest of Whispers its name rebounded back to him.

"So... this is the place you keep telling us about." Isa [Also a fairy from Kortiki] commented, looking at Samantha [Fairy from Kortiki, Metzger's sister].

"...out, out, out!" sounded, together with the constant whirring of the world around them, the birds chirping, the frogs croaking, the insects whirring.

"This place's giving me the creeps!" Samantha cringed.

"...creeps, creeps, creeps!" rebounded back to her.

"Err..." Isa took a deep breath. "I don't feel very safe here, I'm smelling a lot of things and I don't know any of them."

"...'em, 'em, 'em..."

"The ground's a little of a problem..." Marlene [Older fairy, acting as their chaperone] admitted. "...we'd better go up, into the canopy."

"...'anopy, 'anopy, 'anopy!"

The three of them (and Metzger) took a short hop up, and looked around.

"You have been here before, right?" Samantha whispered.

"Sure!" Marlene winced. "I just can't recall how long ago it was."

The echo just hissed sluggishly in response as the group rode up a specially thick tree.

"But you do remember something? Anything at all?" Isa murmured. "I've been out in the wild, but that was behind the chasm. I have never been here, though I might be able to make do."

"Well... it might take a while for it to come back to me. Let's see, my mother taught me a rhyme that goes like this..." Marlene balled her fists. "Up to a cat's hop," she raised one finger from her left hand with every syllable. "you can see a cat," she raised the fingers from her right hand, before balling both fists again. "up to a frog's hop you can see a frog" she repeated the process. "but for those quiet you keep your guard up, so look around and watch out for that log." she finished.

Isa rolled her eyes, curling her hands into fists. But a chuckle escaped her before she began.

"I'm no use singing..." she shook her head.

"Neither am I." Marlene chirped. "Let's see, decasyllable?" she balled her fists, punctuating every syllable with a finger. "In clear water, ten braces ten laps..." she stared at her hands. "In clear water, ten braces PER lap." she corrected herself. "If it's running don't you go chasing flow, the fish run together with the current and there'll always be one you don't know."

"Good one." Samantha smiled. "But that one's for the water."

"Right, just let me remember. I've had a lot of time to forget." Marlene sighed. "Hmm..."

"Let me try." Isa chirped, counting the syllables with her fingers. "Below the leaves there you bob up and down, between the big and the s-maller trunks." she hummed for a moment, checking her rhyme. "In the quiet of the heart listen close, and attune close to the feel all abounds."

"Oh, I never..." Samantha shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "Guess we'll have to start using it, then?"

"Well, it IS sort of easier here, the background's not as intense..." Marlene admitted, looking around. "But I think the verse didn't go that way."

"And how do you think it went?" Isa asked.

"Below the leaves," she raised her head. "it peeks with no venom; don't just wait under the green branches..." she narrowed her eyes. "Don't just wait under the green branches..." she stopped.

"Wow, I didn't know that one stanza." Isa raised her eyebrows.

"I guess it must be old then..." Marlene rolled her eyes. "...because I forgot the rest. It peeks with no venom," she tried again. "don't just wait under the green branches, and..." she shook her head nervously. "It peeks with no venom; don't just wait under the green branches, your wings won't be always getting hunches, or hmhmhmhmhm?" She clicked her tongue. "Damn, I can't remember that verse at all!"

"No need to despair," Metzger began. "just think about it again, we know it rhymes with veNOM!" he briefly gasped, an invisible force slamming into Samantha and shoving her aside.

"OM NOM NOM!" the echo gasped, as a snake's mouth suddenly burst through some foliage right above them, aiming right for his sister.

======

From The Joy of Hunting, Part 7 as well.

I was aiming for a Part 7 that was just as light-hearted as Part 5, maybe with some fairy sweetness thrown in. Moment's inspiration advised me to do the following- give Metzger a little reprieve from being told to shut up all the time, after all, Marlene was hogging the spotlight, while this guy barely got to say a word. Then I thought about the following- put in a moment where Metzger got to save people in the most ambiguous way possible.

Though it felt ambiguously sweet, Metzger tries to stay out of trouble. Getting messy with the Delurans seemed like a BAAAD idea, and I didn't feel this was the most appropriate way to introduce a revolver into the story (it would become important later). Deluran weapons rust like the air was saltwater; no amount of lampshading can make it right, and I don't solve things by lampshades. I know it's not the most important thing, but there had to be another way. Something funnier.

So Metzger doesn't get to solve his forensic case. Besides, all that corpse-searching was a little too grisly and impossible to play for all it was worth.



Deleted Scene- Metzger's Forensic Case.


Shifting to the size of a large goat or human, he [Metzger, male fairy from Kortiki. Invisible. Came to the Forest of Whispers with his sister and her two friends] started dowsing for real threats. Now that he was a fair distance from these three girls, he could once more feel himself, and everything else too.

That's when he felt something strange. Not through his sense for magic, but through scent...

Landing slowly, he took a look at the source of the scent. There was a corpse here. Squinting, he tried to look for a cause of death. The body seemed whole- except for the large hole on the forehead. The revolver on his hand probably had something to do with it.

Boy, that stench was unbearable. Feeling curious about who that man had been, Metzger approached carefully. There was a bush next to the corpse; after looking at it for a while, feeling it for a while, listening close for a while, he decided there wasn't anything in it. He hesitated on whether to touch the corpse or not. Sure, the guy was dead. Finished. If he wasn't, he didn't want to know it.

So sluggishly, he approached the corpse. He had a backpack, probably full of... bloodied material. However, he had priorities.

The corpse's fingers, wrapped around the revolver, slowly parted, as if pushed away by an invisible force. The trigger finger was the first to go, and then the revolver itself got pried off the hand. He placed the revolver far from him- he wasn't comfortable with that weapon right there, threatening to... do whatever it took to ruin his day and every possible day as well.

"Not that I'm burying you, or anything." Metzger pointed, looking around him. He was invisible- but he only had eyes in one direction.

Searching the man's neck, he found... a necklace with a metal tag. It was written in a language he didn't recognize- and even if he did, the layer of rust on it wouldn't have helped.

Just then he realized the revolver the man had didn't show any signs of rust. Turning him over, he saw the man had been carrying a long arm over his back. This one was... a rust-eaten, moldy wreck. He knew the revolver wasn't magical, though. That left him to question why had it survived, if the weapon hadn't. The belt buckle, the rings around the shoelaces, they had all been reduced to torn pieces of rust.

He noticed an object near his belt. A plastic box. Pulling it out, he saw a switch. He guessed it was an on-off thing. Flicking it, he wondered what it was- the light turned on, and though the words on the controls made no sense, he could recognize that pattern on the plastic for a walkie-talkie. Or a remote control. Well, it didn't really matter anymore, he left it running.

There was some static for a few minutes, coming from an earpiece on the body, as Metzger calmly kept searching the body. That sound at least kept him company. He didn't find much- there was a picture of the guy and some other people in his pocket, right in a... wallet. He knew that was a wallet, he had seen his fair share of them. There were bills in there, most likely useless- the picture had that man, a woman, and a young girl. He took a look at the image behind them. Seemingly, this man had lived in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife, and he had a daughter.

Folding the wallet back, he replaced it in the pocket. Just then he heard a voice- a distinct voice coming from the earpiece.

"Is this communicator on? Sergeant, can you hear me?"

Metzger blinked.

"Can you hear me, Sergeant? Answer! ANSWER!"

He wasn't the sergeant.

"There's a reason why the radio is on. Is someone out there?"

That seemed to address him.

"To whoever turned on this radio, please, answer me."

Metzger took a peek at the mic on the man's head. He assumed he was to talk into that bloodstained piece.

Keeping his distance, he looked at it.

"To whoever turned on this radio, please answer me."

Metzger decided he already had his fun. It was best to stay out of trouble now.

Tempting as it was to answer...

"I'm here." he found himself saying.

"Who are you?"

"I just found this body." he answered instead.

"Body, you say?" the voice answered.

"Yes, a body. He shot himself."

"He what!?"

"He commited suicide." Metzger pointed. "I wonder why. He had a wife, and a girl. And he had a revolver that wasn't rusted over, that's the strangest part..."

"Okay..." "What else can you tell me?"

Metzger took a deep breath. All of a sudden, he realized he didn't want to be here at all.

"Nothing else." he replied. "I've got to get going."

"WAIT." the voice exclaimed.

He paused for a moment.

"Yes?" Metzger asked, bemused.

"Thanks." the voice replied.

"You're welcome." Metzger smiled.

"What's your name?"

"I'm... Metzger."

"Aha." the voice answered. "Well, Metzger, thanks. You've just saved us from sending a rescue party."

"Cool..." Metzger replied, a little confused. "Well, I'll turn it off now, okay?"

"Okay."

Flicking the switch off, Metzger dropped it slowly. Then he stood up, took a short hop...

...and something else stopped him. A strange tingle. His head quickly shifted to its side- he could feel three things. Three things similar to himself. No, four. One was too faint, the other three were... strange. They weren't like himself. All of them were alive, one of them was magical, the other two readings were rarefied in a way he couldn't exactly recognize. But there was one reading that was oddly familiar. And they were a fair distance away... he took a short hop up, they were coming this way, peeking from right behind a tree.

They were coming right this way. The rescue party? He doubted it. So they were coming for him?

Specially when he heard their voices.

Another deleted scene from the joy of hunting.

Yuri, despite being another fetish Felarya was founded on, doesn't feature as often. And that's understandable: not everyone likes watching anime chicks making out when there's all those guns to be fired. Me, for instance, I prefer to use it only where it's funny. But this scene isn't about lesbians, it's about Metzger. I had a funny thought occur to me. Metzger could be attractive, why not? I mean, as far as mysterious charm goes, he's invisible. And he has a certain innocence, despite being relatively tough. I wanted also to poke fun at there being so few guys- and I came up with the following idea: Metzger would be acted upon as if he were sexy, then he'd say maybe there's just not enough guys- and the girls would tell him that yes, there are guys. But he's still super-sexy.

From there, I thought... "but wait, Metzger is invisible! If there were two girls trying to seduce him, what would it look like?" And despite it was hilarious... I was already round 60 KB, and Metzger is supposed to be a relatable character. A girl saying he's sexy is fine. Two chicks with different personalities, blood relatives at that, saying he' sexy is... okay, in context, after all the stepmother had been acting weird and he should've known it was because she found him sexy. Two girls gushing to the relatable guy on how sexy he is and afterwards borderline making out on top of him like they were possessed by a deodorant ad was too much.

There's also the timing factor... I heard you had a fight with your sister after she left her hospital room, where she got in from the fight with the people who kidnapped her best friend, so I thought right here at the truckstop, it was a good moment for me and sis to play-act we jump your bones here in the dining room, where anyone could walk in at any time: we're also in a hurry, we don't know how long her friend has left to live. Yeah, that'd be real smooth. Not saying fairies wouldn't- but even in a breather chapter, that was, like, far too much, man.


It was funny though, so I decided to put it up here, rather than rework it into something genuinely sexy. This chapter was already long enough as it was.

======

The Joy of Hunting Deleted Scene: Kavorca Yuri.


"There's plenty [of male fairies]." Mince [Fairy. Showed interest in Metzger. Weird purple hair, very pale] replied. "There's Nettu, Monge, Pleure..."

"And Sabor." Fane [Mince's sister. Not as pale, short red hair and blue eyes] replied.

"Hey, he's too young!" Mince chirped.

"Still, a lot." he [Metzger: nondescript male fairy. Invisible. Doesn't vore] replied.

"We're just passing by." Fane continued. "We don't count, neither does Temi, or your pack. We're not out of options."

"You really are sexy." Mince pointed [They had pointed out his invisibility had some allure to it].

"Well, thanks..." Metzger replied.

"No, no, don't thank us." Mince giggled.

"It's a responsibility" Fane declared. "And after this hunt, we'll teach you all about your new responsibilities- to us." Fane suddenly crawled up to his right.

"Eh?"

"Don't try to escape your destiny as a man. You may run, but you may never hide..." Mince was now leaning heavily towards him from the left.

"We've marked you as ours." Fane said, reaching out towards him with one hand.

"Er... what... are you talking about?" Metzger blurted, leaning to his right- bad move.

"Us, Metzger. Now you belong to us forever- you may never refuse us." Mince's arms wrapped themselves over his shoulders and chest.

"Can you feel him, sister...?" Fane leaned towards her sister, holding her hands. There were now four arms around him, he could feel their mouths leaning towards his ears, their hands fondling each other- on top of his chest, right behind his shoulders... their eyes closed, as their breath washed over his neck.

"Just kidding, just kidding!" Fane grinned, suddenly withdrawing.

"Don't take it the wrong way." Mince giggled, withdrawing a little slower. "We were just... nevermind. Anyway... we'll have to gather soon. Temi said you weren't on elori... want to join us?"

You might not notice, but length of chapter is something I get pretty mental about. Gee, I said mental. What am I, British? In any case, I try to work with the usual constraints- no more than 60000 bytes per piece. That's what fits best in a forum post or in a dA submission. I only break that custom once per series, because, well, I'm not going to ask people to sit down and read 65 kb and then ask them to read even more. I think it's a fair constraint, even if it's kind of arbitrary. I'd like to resolve things in half that length, but it's beyond me at the time.

Now, in this case, this scene was not a hard choice for removal. It was pretty good if I say so myself, and as far as I know elephants DO hate fire, a lot, but it changed the overall tone and added an inconsistency with the events as I was going to depict them. Elephants don't like fire, that's true, but if I had to wax descriptive on the elephants' dislike of fire at every opportunity, and on the events that lead up to its quenching, the action would've gotten more frantic, but far more difficult to work with in any believable way. For the sake of simplicity, I decided to cut off this part instead of writing more on how much elephants h8 fire.

Because elephants take up a lot of room.

======

Codename Hydra, Deleted Scene: Some People Don't Want to Watch the World Burn.

The red light flared in Kalil's eyes, his ears ringing from the noise. That was something quite unexpected. He hadn't felt anything special this time around- the creature had honestly surprised him. He understood now what all those slithering noises were, in all their intensity, but there was just too much going on in the jungle to focus on anything in particular. That thing could've liberated them, but they scared it off.

But they'd done something fucking retarded. Setting a bush on fire, he thought, stepping back carefully. Next to him, Omar seemed to share his impulse- he could see Priya a bit closer to the flame. She didn't seem all that fazed, but the tension was visible in her features. He shook his trunk in disapproval, his lips trembling in apprehension, one step back after another...

...and then he felt someone smack on his butt. He couldn't help but let out a short trumpeting, turning to face... the clown.

"What the hell is wrong with YOU!?" Kalil growled, glaring at the clown.

"Hey what's wrong with you, do you want to sit on me or something?" Jumbo cried. "I'm drinking here! What's your problem?"

"What's my problem!? Are you blind, or did someone skin you!? I think I will!"

"Kalil, don't lose it!"

"What's his problem?" the white elephant questioned.

"That!" Omar pointed at the burning bush.

Jumbo caught a glimpse of the burning bush. He nodded.

"So?"

"So, he asks." Kalil growled. "So? It's on FIRE, you idiot."

"Yeah. Fire. We had a lot of that at the circus..."

A sudden movement of Kalil's trunk shut Jumbo up.

"Listen carefully, you retard, this is NOT a circus. This is a RAINFOREST. This place's going to burst in flames if those retarded monkeys aren't careful with what they set on fire!"

"What do you...?"

"Fire, Jumbo." Omar frowned. "Fire is dangerous. You've seen fire in the circus, haven't you? Torches, right?"

"Torches, and for warming up when it's cold. Oh, and sometimes burning hoops."

"Hoops?" Omar asked.

"Hoops, tigers jump through them."

"Hoops." Kalil spat.

"Well, we've been in the wild, Jumbo, and fire is not a laughing matter. You've seen it used for lighting, for warmth... nothing wrong with that. But we've seen its destructive power."

"You mean that thing can kill? I never saw anything like that!"

"Figures." Kalil spat.

Priya turned to the white guy.

"I know what you mean, Jumbo. I know fire can be useful, really useful, it's marvelous. But if you don't make sure it can't spread, fire can catch other things, and when it does, it's hard to stop it."

"Catch other things? But... it's only around this big..."

"When we're talking about fire, size doesn't matter." Priya pointed. "If it's little, you snuff it. If it's moderate sized, you stomp it. If it's big, you run. Once fire has started spreading, you cannot stop it."

"S... spread?" Jumbo asked, puzzled.

"This might be a mere assumption on my part, Jumbo..." Omar began. "I take it those hoops were soaked in something?"

"Um... I guess?"

"And they only put a little fire to it, but when it touched the hoop, the whole hoop was on fire."

"Yes! You've heard of us?"

"Fire has its rules." Omar began. "I learned them at the temple. There are things that burn right away if they're touched by fire, and burn fast. There's things that need a while, but burn for a while. And then there's things that don't burn easily, but when they do, they'll burn for days."

"Uh-huh... what does this have to do with anything?"

"Then there's things that don't burn." Omar explained. "Well, in a rainforest..." he stopped for a moment. "Everything burns."

Jumbo stopped for a moment to look around, picturing the jungle in flames, every tree wrapped in those warm, wispy tongues that happened every time something was on fire. It was kinda funny, come to think of it. Everything would be a hoop.

"That'd be hot, right? And we'd have to avoid the trees."

If elephants could facepalm, Kalil would have.

"It's not when you touch it that it's dangerous." Omar explained. "Smoke can kill you if you breathe it."

"I'd be dead if that were true!"

"It takes a lot of smoke to kill you, and in the open, it spreads too thin, too fast." Omar explained. "But if there's only smoke, if it can't go anywhere, it can kill us. Not to mention the heat. It's hot right now- but a forest fire can and will kill you."

"Can you die from a burn?"

"Fire can kill ANYTHING." Kalil said. "Get it through your head. A forest fire will kill EVERYTHING. And it'll be their fault for being so retarded."

"Maybe you're exaggerating a little, Kalil, I've seen some fires myself..." Priya began, as the humans started getting back on the howdahs.

"I'm NOT, bitch. I've seen some fires myself too. Do you know what's fire best for? For killing EVERYTHING. NOTHING is left alive. Everything burns, if it doesn't burn, it chokes, and the fire just keeps on spreading until there's NOTHING left to spread to. Fire is not a toy! FIRE IS NOT A TOY!" Kalil rumbled.

Omar started trotting away, guided by his driver. So did Jumbo, but he stopped after a few seconds- Kalil wasn't willing to move. Priya looked at him, too.

"Kalil?"

"It's still burning." Kalil's eyes were locked on the bush. "We can't leave it like this."

"Ey, soo, soo!" the neko on top tapped his head, mumbling nonsense. Kalil took a step forward...

...and then turned around, right back towards the fire, glaring at it like he were trying to stop it by sheer force of will.

======

"What's the matter?" Talvi asked, turning towards the others. "The elephant isn't moving."

"Eh, they don't like fire much, from what I know." Marcel said.

"Well, this one better learn fast! So! 'Ey 'ey SOO!" she huffed, puffed, trying every exotic intonation she could think of, smacking the elephant over the head. All she managed to get was to get it twitching. "So! Soo! So-o! Turn around!"

"Talvi, you don't want to get it mad..."

"Got any better ideas?"

"The hell's taking so long over there?!" Locust's voice rasped their ears, crying from the farthest elephant.

"The elephant isn't helping!" Talvi cried.

"I think it's the fire." Saul explained into his mike. Marcel turned to look at their officer; he was right now climbing down the netting, waddling that fat ass towards them.

Murmuring a few words, he clenched his left fist, waving his right palm at the burning bush. It took a moment for Marcel to realize what he was doing: it seemed he had very little idea of what he was doing himself. In any case, the mud close to the river washed over the burning bushes the best he could make it. At first, it seemed to do no effect. After a while, though, it clearly did nothing.

So with a sigh, he changed the position of his hands. With visible effort, he made the earth sink and roll under the bushes, rising sluggishly to smother the flames. Afterwards, the mound crumbled.

"There. See if the elARGH!" he hopped away; the elephant's tusk had nearly dug into his shoulder as it turned away.

"I think it's cooperating now."

"About time." he grumbled, bouncing back to his own elephant. Taking his seat, the four elephants strode away.

With any luck that should've been all.

============


There was another scene removed, where Nadimon Ventan, cocky youth extraordinaire, got the air knocked out of him in a fall just as Crisis escaped. Maybe you remember the F.O.O.D. policy- DO NOT ABANDON THE CHARGES. OFFER YOURSELF IF THAT'S WHAT IT COMES TO. Absorb ALL the risk!

However, as this chapter went, Crisis had few enough lines that showing just how horrified the new guy was at the end was just overkill, and didn't let me play with Crisis' ambiguity, an aspect that Karbo encouraged me to play up. So I thought that maybe a little common sense from our blonde she-devil would've been a better option, a little talking down.

If you've ever played Civilization, you know what she means in the current version. In the removed version, though, she didn't get any lines at all.


======


Codename Hydra Deleted Scene: Yes, We Are Doomed.

The trunk flew towards them, spinning unnaturally in midair. Gasping, Nadimon averted himself just for an instant, falling off the elephant and into the ground, feeling it rumble with the frantic hesitation of the swiftly lumbering beasts- recovering quickly, he stood up just in time to see the massive bulk of the naga go past him.

Crisis' massive bulk. Her name was Crisis.

Time seemed to slow down- no, freeze. Freeze completely, his view of the naga's silky smooth skin, of her eyes and face just turning to face him, of her every youthful feature... she looked so young and yet he knew her as so deadly. She looked so innocent, but... what she had done wasn't nice. He still recalled her voice, calling out his name, and now, her teal eyes barely seemed to recognize him. To even acknowledge him. She had named him, but now...

...she was about to unname him.

Ducking, she slithered by at full speed- it took him a moment to realize she was trying to avoid the flamer jet at all costs.

"NOoOO! COME BACK!"

His lungs froze as he saw her disappear behind the trunk- he remembered what was behind that trunk.

All of a sudden there was no sound. Nothing. She disappeared behind the trunk, and slithered away. And that was that. Just the trunk behind which she had disappeared, and his limp, supine body.



Steps.



"NOOOOOO!"

"That's enough!"

"Get off me! WE HAVE TO DO IT!"

"It's TOO LATE! She's gone!"

"We still have some time until she digests them..."

"No. She was already digesting, there can't be any air there now. They're dead."

"You don't even know if they've been swallowed yet!"

He recognized the voices. But he couldn't bring himself to tilt his head, and watch their faces.

"She'll think it's a trap."

"You don't know that!"

"Look..."

"COME BACK AND YOU CAN EAT US!"


...


"No use." Nadimon declared.

"Errhh?"

"She does well enough alone..." he mumbled. "She just keeps on coming despite all we did."

He turned to look at the fat guy.

"She's not worried, boss." he shook his head. "She knows she already has us..."

And looking into the fat guy's face, he saw just how much effort he had had to put there. Pale under his brown skin, his cheeks pale like the tanlines in his collar, his eyes dead and asleep, his mouth gasping for air, he looked in her direction one last time...

...and fainted.

============


Another thing I substracted for length purposes was a fight at the end, when a tonorion suddenly struck FOOD after they managed to get rid of Crisis- at the expense of their antitank rifle and their flamethrower, not to mention their charge and seven fighters. Tonorions are armored, and fighting them with only man-portable weapons was most likely a nightmare, specially considering that there were no armor-piercing ones and no speed-up buff. So how do you win?

The answer is simple. Tonorions are 40 feet long. That's small enough for an elephant to fight. Did you ever want to know how badass Kalil was? Well, I'm sorry, but elephant fighting was just too awkward to describe. Hence why I substracted this one when looking for something to substract. Also, tonorions have been offended enough without calling them lamers with no ability to use proper punctuation.

I'm looking at you, Alvar.


======

Codename Hydra, Deleted Scene: Trunk Fu.


"This is such a happy ending..."

"What's nice about that? I thought this was our chance to get outta here."

"And you were crying OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD all the time!"

"Eh... I think I got better." Jumbo rolled his eyes. "I mean, those giant freaks look like something we'll have to live with from now on."

"Isn't that a little... wrong?" Priya asked.

"It's just the way they were born." Jumbo shrugged, looking at the humans group for a moment.

"Well, I don't think this is getting any worse right now." Omar said. "But for some reason, I don't think giant freaks are the only thing we don't know of in this forest."

"AND YOU'D BE RIGHT, MOONBUTT!"

Something skittered out of the bushes. Long, with many legs, many eyes- and many teeth... a bit squat, but thick, with two tusks- no, arms- no, something sharp on the sides of its face...

"I WILL EAT YOUR FACE!" the black monster cried. Jumbo seemed to recoil with fear, as Kalil stirred with anticipation.

The creature swung a claw towards Omar's neck- he barely managed to parry it with a tusk. The creature's second arm came on the other side of its neck...

"Companions, to me!" Omar snarled, barely managing to avert having his head completely severed.

"BRING IT ON!" the beast snarled, turning itself sidewards, trying to bring its jaws on his face. With terrible effort, Omar took a step back and swung the monster's head between his tusks, slamming his trunk powerfully into its neck- only to realize it was hard as metal.

"ARGH!" he cried. "It's barded! Crush it!"

"Crush?" Jumbo barked.

"Like this!" Kalil rammed its horns on the creature's underbelly, exposed by its sidewards position, tearing it from Omar and swinging it into a tree. Then he trotted over, bringing his foot down on the creature's shell...

"What the fuck are you, you ugly freak!?" Kalil snarled.

"I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!" the centipede-like beast snarled.

"Eat this..." Kalil reared up on his hind legs, raising his front legs as much as he could...

"YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARDED BITCH!" the length of creature suddenly whipped itself at Kalil's underbelly.

"AaAArgh!"

"Kalil!"

"Let go of Kalil!" Jumbo suddenly rammed his horns into the creature's backside, adding a strong swing for good measure. The monster withdrew for an instant, which the two elephants used to close lines together...

"I AM A TONORION! RAAWR!"

"I'm Kalil!"

"I'm Jumbo!"

The two elephants suddenly spread out- and a bigger, stronger third sprang from behind them, ramming the tonorion full-frontal and full-force right in the face. Much to the dismay of the elephants, the tonorion managed not just to survive- but to contain that rampant, powerful charge, locking itself in a battle of jaw against tusk, its two scythes lashing at Omar's head as he swung the monster side to side- to no effect.

"Throw it here!" Kalil cried, bringing his tusks against the tonorion Omar had swung. He flinched as the creature's scythe lashed across his face- just in time for Jumbo to bring down his columnlike foot on top of the creature's midsection.

CRACK!

"THAT HURT BAD YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" the tonorion was pulled away from Omar, struggling under the weight of Jumbo's body.

BANG! BANGBANGBANG! BANGBANG!

"AAARGH!" the tonorion winced, half of its face blown off by a well-placed series of slugs. "I AM ANGRY IN MY FACE!"

"Calm down!"

"Yeah, stop trampling yourself!" Kalil suddenly brought down both feet on their foe.

"THIS...!" the tonorion twitched, as Omar tusked it in the face- or what was left of it. "AARRGH THIS IS... UNDENIABLE PROOF...!"

"I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that!"

"THIS IS UNDENIABLE PROOF I OWN YOU LAMERS!" it roared, suddenly tearing itself free from Jumbo's grip. Much to Kalil's surprise, the back of the crawler flew off the ground and wrapped itself around Jumbo- who withdrew quickly, tusking the exposed underbelly of the beast for a brief instant. Omar tried to finish it off quickly, bringing his tusk into the beast's broken face- much to Kalil's surprise, its full backside managed to charge out of his grasp, right into Omar's face. The creature then did the unthinkable, and bit Omar's tusks.

"You barmy thing-!" the elephant barked, withdrawing, shaking its head-

-that was the last mistake.

"I WIN THE VICTORY!" the invertebrate cried, its claw deep in the mammal's neck.

"Omar!" Jumbo mouthed in disbelief, watching him slump on his side. "Omar?"

"TAKE THAT YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

"No, YOU take THAT!" Kalil snarled, bringing its tusks into the fray again, catching the creature's segments- and swinging it into Omar's face. With a wet splortch, the dying elephant's tusks were propelled through the back of its throat.

"AND THIS!" he withdrew his head, and trumpeting, charged against the monster, still flailing against Omar's slumped body, almost releasing itself from the tusks driven into the back of its throat. With a repulsive squelch, the creature's head dislodged itself from the body's tusks as the rest of it was smashed against a tree.

"AND A DOZEN OF THIS!" Kalil lifted its front legs, ramming them down on its midsection again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again...

The creature persisted in a series of ragged, gasping curses, slimy greenish-brown broth bursting from the many cracks in its armor, its legs and claws skittering in an attempt to propel itself. But in the end, it could only relent- the combined might of those three elephants had been more than it could chew. Strange. He would've expected them to be slower...

...well, that was the end.

"Kalil...?" Priya asked.

"..."

"Kalil, are you okay?" Jumbo insisted.

"..."

"We... should get going."

"I think it's dead enough." Kalil replied. "How's Omar? Are these manlings treating him? They should be able to heal him. I healed."

"Um, well... they..."

"He's dead. Don't tell me." he curled up his trunk.

"..." Priya and Kalil exchanged a concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry." Jumbo managed to say.

"Don't be. It's his own fucking fault. That lunatic geezer died on you and I. Not the other way around, clown." he snorted. "We'd better get going unless we want to end up like him."

======

Here's another one from the climax of the Joy of Hunting.

I write myself into a wall regularly. I love my absolutely inescapable deathtraps a bit too much, but getting out of them often turns into an absolute pain in the arsehole. I find a way to come through, but only after months of writer's block.

For instance, Metzger VS all the hunters. You remember all those hunters had bizarre abilities and powers. So how would Metzger manage to sequester one of their rings? The odds were stacked just too hard against him. So I thought about softening them just a bit... by making the hunters know they weren't going to get paid for this batch. That can really demoralize a guy.

On the other hand, it just didn't seem serious enough for the climax. I didn't want anything funny to happen during the climax- I wanted to keep it tense. Very, very tense. No "oops!", no "ouchie!", no "yum yum!", nothing but cunning and luck. COPIOUS amounts of luck. The kind of luck that allows the hero to faint at the end.

Besides, we had enough weirdness going on. The hunters, the fairies, Miel and folks- giving Ryuuzan Nazuuyr a secret agenda just... seemed like overkill. I wanted things to be simpler in the endgame, not so complicated you can't take them seriously anymore.

I was determined to end this damn story with a final chapter that fit in 58.5 kb. Splitting it in two again wouldn't do!

======

The Joy of Hunting Part 12- Deleted Scene: Adam Smith Loves Fairies Too



At times like this, the blindfold felt almost oppressive- though he had to admit there was a somewhat hilarious irony to all this. The base had been infiltrated by a fairy- but after observing its mind, he realized it just happened to be out of luck. He wondered for a moment if Ichenso had ever expected to be impersonated- in any case, prying this information from the Adversary's mind, he learned that the hunter was alive. Well, maybe. If anything else found him, he'd be out of luck.

So after Moirat contacted him through the ring, he had asked him to go along with the request, and teleport away- go look for Ichenso. It would not do to abandon a comrade, after all. The intruder had no business here- there was nothing he could do at this point. There were no weapons he could use, after all- so why was it the situation still carried the risk of ending poorly for them?

In the darkness before his eyes lay a profound hole, through which he could still see Moirat.

-I'm going to cut contact now. Save Ichenso, leave for Negav. We'll use the backup portal if we have to escape.- Ryuuzan spoke through the darkness.

-Alright. You stay safe.- Moirat replied, before the gap in the darkness closed- now there was nothing to see here.

"So, what's going to happen?" Misty's voice asked, to his left. "How do we deal with the infiltrate?"

"You should just rest. This isn't going to be much of a problem."

"Not much of a problem? He took out Ichenso!"

"He got greedy. He tried to catch two, thinking he was ready for anything, and he wasn't. We seem to be dealing with a particularly plucky breed now... specially considering how comes it we're still in danger of losing it all."

"We are?" Lenna frowned.

"He wants to contact Faulkner, Lenna. He'll go after your ring."

"Let him try!"

"He'll get it. Somehow." Ryuuzan frowned, sinking into the couch. "Faulkner... does not have the password he needs. Neither of them knows how, but they'll manage to take the password..."

"Are you sure of what you see? Are you sure he'll be our bane?" Antares said. He was getting impatient.

"Yes, but I don't know how."

"Why don't you?"

"Because neither does he. He's either a better thinker than I am, or luckier than he has the right to be."

"There must be a way we can stop him. If we run away, we'll lose all those profits..." Antares continued.

"There are no profits to be made." Ryuuzan smiled. "What we need a dozen fairies for, this moon, is Sareu's tithe to his mistress."

Antares made an uneasy pause.

"I see..."

"WE AREN'T GETTING PAID!?" Navari screeched to his left. He tilted his neck towards her, hoping to reduce the noise.

"Do you still wish to face this adversary?"

"Well..." Antares pursed his lips. "It'll probably be best if we do, for Sareu's sake..."

"For Sareu's- you might be buddies with him, but I'm not. I'm not going to risk life and limb for nothing!" Lenna barked.

"It's a fairy. Already dewinged. You're not risking life and limb, you're at most wasting a few shots-!"

"If there was no profit to be made, he should've told me!"

"It's not so important..."

"What, you think I'm here because I like the wild!?"

"He's harmless, just waste him and..."

"Not entirely harmless, he has a switchblade." Ryuuzan grinned.

"Look, the whole thing is insane, and I'm not getting paid?!"

"Of course you're getting paid! We're paying you well, are we not?" Antares frowned.

"I wanted a cut of the profits! You didn't tell me you were a non-profit organization..."

"It's not about the profits! It's..."

"That's the problem, that it's not about profit..."

"This one time, we're having no profits. We'll give you a good chance to put your skills to the test next time! Just get this one- for Sareu's sake. He'll drag them in by the dozen again, and you'll get MY cut of the profits too, I-give-you-my-word." Antares barked.

"Stop arguing!" Navari screeched. "You're going to embarass us in front of the enemy!"

"Fine. I'll pop him a cap, then we forget this mess ever happened..." Lenna grumbled, walking out of the room. "You can't even keep a fairy outside the premises, you aren't going to profit from this batch..." she hissed. "No wonder he ran off."

Following her slowly, Antares paused a moment.

"And what is this about, anyway? Why would you mention those things now of all times?"

"Silly me. I must be... slipping, I suppose I just haven't rested well enough lately..." Ryuuzan said, elated.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're in league with that fey." Antares continued. "You can read my mind. I open it to you. But it's yours that you should be more concerned with."

"I am." he chuckled. "Believe me, I am..." he added, sinking a little deeper into his couch.

======

"That man is insane." Antares grumbled, walking out of the room. "What does he intend to accomplish?"

"You are insane. Why are we doing this?" Lenna frowned. "There's nothing for us to gain."

"Sareu drags them in by the dozen. With you there to maximize the profits... I assure you, your patience WILL pay off."

"He doesn't seem to think so. And you told me he can see the future."

"Just don't think about it right now." Antares grimaced.


======

Here's another one. Needless to say, I had REALLY written myself into a corner on this one. If this were an old Sierra game, we'd have a lot of game over screens here.

But some things I realized a little too slowly- that I had just sent a character to his death. I backpedaled a bit then, but I'm going to leave this part here.


The Joy of Hunting Part 12- Deleted Scene: GAME OVER



...the hatchet was gone. There was only one thing to do.

Turning around, he bolted around the corridors, looking for the nearest window. He was still dressed in the thick, protective suit; maybe he could jump through the glass panel like Rooks had?

He found a glass panel right ahead. All he had to do now was jump through-

A form jumped in through the panel, landing on all fours on the floor. He quickly recognized the... blonde hair, blue eyes, that grin-

"DAMN!" he cried, jumping over her, through the window, out of the house...

...when suddenly time froze. One instant, his blood was pounding throughout his body. The next instant, his trembling muscles had suddenly relaxed. His chest... his chest felt warm, but everything else felt so cold. A feeling of calm came with the darkness outside the house, and he splayed himself on the ground as he rolled.

It took him only a few seconds to understand, as the light inside the house blurred from the world, what had happened. His hand weakly slid towards his breast as he exhaled one last breath.

He was too tired to close his eyes.


======

Here's even more. As you can see, this one was a REAL pain in the ass to finish properly. I went over the fight between Sareu and Rooks so many times that I might as well have gone nuts. Note to self: Never write a fight again.

Those parts are not written in any particular order, because I can't remember the order anymore. Hence why they're deleted.

The Joy of Hunting Part 12- Deleted Scene: Bitz Box



"So how are you even alive?"





He clung as he could to the notion that this large man was... about to kill him. That he had a good reason... not to give up. Right now, this utter drain in all his emotions made it seem just so good an idea to quit this nonsense and try to talk this over. Surely it was all some sort of misunder-

"AAAAAAARGH!"

No time for this kind of thoughts- he lunged at the large, cross-armed man and drove his knife right into his face, right now smiling down at him, thrusting the blade through his eye and straight into his brain. The flesh opposed so very little resistance.





Sareu Trosvil was not fazed in the least.





Suddenly he found himself kicked, and flying backwards for a bit. He opened his eyes- and barely managed to shunt his head to the side as the titan sent his knife back, plunging it on the ground right next to him. Gulping, he looked at his face- he was not hurt in the least. Blinking quickly, he wondered if there were holes in his chest...

"Looking for those?" Sareu grinned, holding forward his fist. As he opened it slowly, six small metal plugs fell to the ground- "You can't hurt me with that, cookie."

Rooks' heart skipped a beat, again- then he spun on the ground, raising his blade, backing it with his bracer, trying to keep away the sword.

"You aren't human..." he spat, between grit teeth.

"I was. Until I became a ghost." his opponent explained, slowly bringing the sword down on him. "A very big ghost, with a very big sword."

"Well, you're not stronger than me..." Rooks grinned, feeling his dagger push the sword up slowly.

"Am I? Take a closer look..." Sareu shrugged, patronizingly.

Rooks' eye laid itself upon his knife for just a moment- and then back to his opponent's eyes, full of horror.





The knife wasn't holding the sword away. The sword was cutting through his knife.





"Like what you see?" Sareu grinned. "Frankly, I could just go right through your knife... and I think I will."

One of the large man's hands released the hilt of the weapon, his entire arm suddenly turning into violet and darkness- darkness even deeper than his surroundings.

"Damn!"

"Say goodbye, coo- AARGH! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" he gasped, backing off, clutching his eyes.

Rolling off, Rooks stood up and withdrew a fair distance, with a broad grin.

"You big, stupid oaf!" Rooks laughed. "Hope you never learn to keep your mouth shut!"

======

"Ye- yeah!" he coughed. "Stupid you chased me all around the forest- you didn't lose me, but you sure lost her!"

Licking his lips, almost his beard, Sareu quietly smiled at his former underling, somewhat puzzled with the sight. That young man was gasping exhilarated right now, looking out of a wild eye, hunched- that slugging he'd given him before had hurt, bad, but it was only a small taste of what he had in store. There was fear in his eyes- but also a joy he'd never expected to see in someone who was just about to die. So as long as the fairy escaped, he'd be fine. Why?

"I had never seen you that upbeat before. You know I'll find her sooner or later, idiot."

"Nope! You won't." Rooks laughed, exhilarated. "You can gut me, carve my skin away, gouge out my eyes, but I'm not telling!"

Sareu took a step forward, with a menacing smile in his broad face.

"You think... this is all the pain I can cause you? I haven't even begun to show you the pain, the humiliation I can cause you. I can make you beg me to kill you."

"Who doesn't?" Rooks shrugged. "But by the time you do, it'll be too late! She'll be gone..."

Taking a deep breath, Sareu clicked his tongue.

"You went through a lot of trouble just to tick me off. What for, Rooks? I'm curious. Was she your ex-girlfriend?"

Barely had his lips managed to mouth a word, that a hoarse grunt escaped his mouth, his exhilarated eye squinting in rage for an instant.

"I've touched a nerve, I see?" Sareu grinned, drawing his sword... watching the other hunter spit on the ground.

"I'm going to rip you a new one..." Rooks grinned, drawing his knife.

"Doubt it."

Following the titan's eyes, Rooks managed to block the first swing of the blade of Y'Althilagekk... just enough to jump off, watch the man disappear from view, and move closer to a tree- the exact position where Sareu was when he brought down his sword on him.

He had no choice but to parry with his arm... sucking in a gasp at the feeling of the sword slicing through a quarter inch of steel bracer and dig into his skin, drawing blood- and something else. Something else he had never felt before.

It was as if his very blood was flash-freezing in his arteries, a strange combination of numbness and excruciating agony, every inch of his body being dug through by thousands of icy needles- he couldn't think, he couldn't feel, he couldn't do anything but scream as loud as his numb throat would hold throughout whatever grayness was left of the world. The sheer unnaturality of that wound seemed to take the world away from him as much as it took him away from the world.

One last breath came out- and then his airway became unresponsive. But the panic of the situation wouldn't reach him- he couldn't feel. The wound was a new experience, it was... almost transforming. There was a new clarity in all things, and if he'd just accept it, then he'd be free of all his p-

"DAMN!" he cried, withdrawing from the blade, struggling to keep his senses. That cursed blade's effect, he realized, was already starting to destroy him. He didn't know if he could stay up anymore... but he had to endure. If he didn't, he'd die. He'd die at the hands of that blade, and the strange peace it promised him, that deadly reverie promising to drown the vendetta that had drowned him...

Desperate times. He shifted his patch back over his special eye...





The darkness engulfed him...





"I'm impressed." Sareu's voice mocked. "That swing was to kill you..."

That was the opportunity he needed. He swung a grenade straight up. Second knuckle. Cover his ear.





"DAMN!" his free hand fumbled for a vial in his pocket, drawing it quickly to his lips and chugging its contents down. Nearly immediately, the liquid reached his veins- and from there his wounds. With a deep breath, the dull aches riddling his body were gone like a flash of steam.

Shifting his patch back over his now blinded eye, he sheathed his knife and drew a revolver, aiming at Sareu Trosvil who stood before him, teeth clenched, mouth drawn tight, running forward like a headless chicken in the night. He could be infinitely tough, but Rooks had learned his lesson with the bear. He had to carry a gun himself.

Steadying himself, he tried not to lose his balance- the flashbang had done a number with him too. Grabbing the gun with both hands, he took the Isosceles position, both arms held straight, one finger around the trigger, the other hand wrapped around his hand. Aligning the weapon with his foe, he took a step closer, and closed his eye- the muzzle flash could blind him. But nothing alive could survive a full charger of this kind of gun.

Thunder pounded in his ears with every explosion. One, two, three, four, five, six times, then his stiff arms released the massive gun, drawing his knife again. He opened his eyes, maybe too quickly, and... did not see Sareu.

But much to his chagrin, the sensation of pins and needles, that suffocating frost in his chest, that unnerving sense of peace, as if someone had just ripped off a generous portion of Rooks, leaving behind an indecisive stranger that panicked in his absence.


======

Here's even more from the finish line.

You see, at first, I had a pretty complicated idea of how to finish the climax.

At first, I thought I'd have Rooks bluff Sareu that he'd released the fairies, which wouldn't work, as Sareu is in direct contact with Ryuuzan. A throwback to good ol' Planescape: Torment, where you can bluff TTO with "I've released the shadows". Then as Rooks REALLY releases the fairies, Sareu has to go and rein 'em back in, which makes him leave Rooks alone. However, after his sword trick, Sareu was in a position to kill Rooks quickly; even if Rooks had released the fairies, Sareu could kill him before checking.

My original idea for how to release the fairies was pretty complicated. First, Metzger contacts Rooks and gets the door password. Then he locks himself in by stabbing the electronic lock. The power surge earlier would have had rebooted the computer, allowing him full administrator privileges if he could guess the password; Miel and company, still inside, get the admin password by checking which letters in the keyboard had Ryuuzan's print in them, and taking out those that had everyone else's print, thus giving Parfe a chance to show us her ability with anagrams.

Alternatively, they could have given Rooks the letters, and he'd know a word significant to Ryuuzan with those letters. But first, they'd release Temi, who'd do all of the talking with Rooks, who had as his conditions that Misty was not to be touched; everyone remembers that her brother was his late partner, right? Well, Temi would talk him out of that, which would be trouble later.

But that was too long, so I figured I'd make Ryuuzan use the same password for everything. He does keep the computer in an antimagic field, meaning he can't use his foresight powers to know what will happen if he does that. Then again, that'd be too ridiculous, and we already had Metzger have one too many happy accidents already: this is an even chapter. Meanwhile, Rooks would try to stab the indestructible Sareu Trosvil with his own sword.

But, you know, I was so totally out of writing gear that I couldn't make that as awesome as it deserved. Needless to say, I realized while writing it that it was also too complicated to work. So I went for what is there right now.

But just to prove you that I DID try to do that, here's the part that's been ripped off.

The Joy of Hunting Part 12- Deleted Scene: Unstoppable Sareu


"Heh. Heh, heh, heh."

This game of cat and mouse had been getting more and more difficult by the second. He'd managed to stall him another minute, but one thing he had to admit- Sareu hadn't imploded in rage. Matter of fact, he'd been calming down throughout the chase: this was too one-sided to call it a fight. All he did was dodge, with varying (and steadily decreasing) margins every of the gorilla's charges. And for some reason, the magic in his own body was fading away faster than it should have- he could feel his weight shifting, the world speeding up around him. Had it been because he had drank more than one potion? Had it been Sareu punching his ribs out? Had it been all that sweating? Had it been an insufficient dose... what had it been?

Dodging all night wasn't going to work. All of a sudden, he didn't have so much time left.

-ROOKS!-

His ring suddenly started stirring into action, showing him someone straight ahead... a shadowy form, much like Ichenso's; the thoughts started pouring into his ears.

-Ich... Metzger!?- he conveyed. -What are you doing with Lenna's ring?-

-Rooks, what's the door's password?-

-Why would I...-

"RAAARGH!"

The shadowy form might've been distracting, but it was Sareu he needed to worry about. Sareu he needed to taunt. Sareu that he needed to get through, and, as he managed to avoid him for what might very well be the last time that night, he formed a plan.

-It's SAREU.- Rooks conveyed, thinking quickly.- It's S-A-R-E-U. Silver, Ashes, Rider, Escape, Unity. Type STARS into the computer afterwards!-

-Excuse me?-

-STARS! Silver, Tower, Ashes, Rider, Silver.- he grinned. -Do it quickly!-

"I released the fairies!" he cried at Sareu.

"Suuure you did..." the gorilla replied. Faulkner zigzagged away from him, stepped behind a tree, and took the last flashbang grenade. Sticking it up in a tree, he waited for Sareu. He had been hatching a plan for some time now- knowing that Metzger had managed to subdue Lenna explained why Sareu hadn't yet managed to finish him off. Without the elf helping him, he'd fallen for his every move and would continue to do so.

If he'd gotten Sareu's timing right, he'd step up to him in one, two, three...

"HAI!"

BANG.

That was the last bomb. His final chance, and he was very confident now. Whatever had happened with Metzger, he was right now about to release the fairies- all he had to do was either bisect the ape with his own sword, or tell that hick how to release the fairies. This WAS going to work...!

He pulled out his last weapon, a round object with four prongs. Pressing a release on it, all of its prongs pointed forward, first, and then receeded into small tips, like those of a plug. Just the right size to plug them into Sareu's chin.

Running straight at the snarling ape's face, he thrust the device right into the back of his neck, and clenched his fist tight around the controls, releasing 15 miliamperes through the man's spine. He didn't expect to just make him angrier- and as the acelleration finally faded away, he realized just how fast the monster was. Each of its blind swings was faster than the eye could follow- but there was a moment of hesitation which he managed to seize. His grip on his sword wasn't as tight as it used to be.

Reaching around his chest, he gripped the sword- and dodged Sareu's blind backhanded slap. Turning his own momentum against him, he managed to wrest the fabled sword of Y'Althilagekk.

"Got you!" Rooks grinned, exhilarated.

He relished the ape's incredulous eyes as he performed the final charge. He felt the flesh part, and wither under the wrath of his own blade. The monster burst into an unnatural howl- and he clenched his teeth, driving the two-handed blade deeper as quickly as he could.








But he wasn't fast enough.






Sareu's hands quickly grabbed his neck. Rooks gasped in disbelief as he felt them start to apply pressure, steadily, the monster's undying eyes showing no sign of slowing down. The fingers squeezed his throat, and with a wordless gurgle, he felt his spine starting to stretch.

The pressure let out, and Sareu let out a sigh, his hands falling slack at the sides of his body. Rooks stepped back, breathing hard, relieved to be still alive, pulling the sword from his downed foe.

He dropped to his knees, gasping...

"Well, at least you tried."

He looked up.

"DAMN!" he spat, targetted by those ever-mockful eyes. "You... it's impossible! You can't be alive!"

"Don't tell me what I can't do." the burning ape grinned. There was no gash in his chest, no sign of ever having been stabbed with his own blade. "You dodge a lot. But... you can't dodge something you're holding."

"What!?"

Just then, he froze- realizing he hadn't been able to release the sword. His arms were frozen. His elbows, his shoulders, were frozen- he could feel nothing except cold on them, and a dull, throbbing ache slowly increasing throughout his arms.

"Even the haft can chop off your hand" Sareu said. "when a knight of darkness like me has wielded it."

"A... a what? WHAT ARE YOU?!"

"Here's a more interesting question, Cookie..." Sareu laughed. "What are YOU?"

The icy sensation spread up his shoulders, and then creeped up his neck. It reached his throat, his mouth, his skull.

"You're one dead son of a bitch, that's what you are."

His sight slowly grayed away, his body relaxing, the whole world drifting away from him. All this... for nothing. He'd improvised a lot, but in the end, he just hadn't been meant to defeat Sareu. It just wouldn't happen.

A strange peace drifted into his heart. He felt himself sinking into a dreamless sleep, a restless sleep, all of his hurt, all of his concern, all of his goals and ambitions (what ambitions?) vanishing with every breath he didn't feel. All the fear he'd felt a moment ago, all the fear he'd been carrying for so long, evaporated- he couldn't feel his heart. He couldn't feel his blood. He couldn't feel... anything.

-No. Not yet.- he thought to himself. -Rui is still in danger. There's still one thing I have to do...-

He reached out into whatever was left, and clung on as tightly as he could to what feeling he still had. There was hate, there was sorrow, there was scorn, but what he needed were his ties. Something that tied him to the world. Something he still had to do. Something he still had to fix. Rui. Rui still needed to be fixed. She... was out there, alone. Couldn't be. Had to help Samantha's brother. Needed to fix that. He couldn't help her. All the fairies could, together, Sareu could catch them, but he couldn't...

Thoughts drifting away. Couldn't think. Had to think. Rui needed help. Metzger was in room. Couldn't help Metzger help Rui. Metzger, insert password... Sareu still here. Can't help longer. Have to help Rui.

======

Even deleting all that, I STILL couldn't be sure I'd finish the whole thing in 58.5 kilobytes. So I had to remove my memory aids at the end to make ends meet. Well... memory aids. More like... insane ravings.

The Joy of Hunting Part 12- Deleted Scene: Stabs Lost It

[Ichenso can convince Moirat of setting up a trap now, send Lenna into this room, and that's how it ends.]
[That couldn't be. It's time for him to charge blindly and then use insects to distract Lenna and take her ring.]
[Okay, some infighting might help tilt the odds here]
[No, no infighting. It isn't serious enough]
[Passwords are SAREU, STARS, and RECKONING]
[No, too many passwords. Rooks has a way to access the BIOS and bypass the password completely.]
[You know what, I don't feel like elaborating any more on this. It's blackout time!]
[Awwww yeah. Lazy writing FTW. Iridan, eat Sareu.]