A thread about friendship

I created the "Nice things" thread following an old bout of forum drama as a means to let everyone cool off, and say some positive things about one another. It seems that, even the "Nice things" thread, is not powerful enough to dispel this funk that hangs over our forum and our community.

So, I have decided that more... extreme, measures are called for.

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...

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Remember, you all forced me into this position, because I am, quite frankly, out of other ideas.





STOP RIGHT THERE! Don't click the back arrow just yet. There is a method to my madness.

Above, I have linked two epsiodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, who's messages I feel come relatively close to what has been going on here lately.

Just, give me the benefit of the doubt, and give them a watch. For those that don't know, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is an internet phenomenon, brought to you by some of the same people that made The Powerpuff Girls, and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. It has nice animation, great voice-acting, and fun characters. Just, give it a try.

Now, what is the point? You all ask. Well, its about the messages of those two episodes.

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The TL;DR for the lazy people who didn't watch:

Friends clash, they argue, they bicker and push eachother to their wit's end sometimes. But, in the end, they are still friends... and that friendship is far more important than whatever petty little issue they were fighting over.

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I think that's a lesson that a lot of us have forgotten lately. We've let this go beyond internet-disagreements and a fantasy setting full of magic, adventure and man-eating half-animal people. We've let things get personal, and ugly.

SO! That is why this thread exists. We, as a community, NEED to let out a collective sigh, calm down, and start getting along again. Things have gotten far too serious, and far too tense on this forum. This is a place about creating adventures, imagining fantastic and alien creatures, of building up one of the most unique fantasy settings I have ever been involved with. Its time to drop our petty disagreements, and start having fun again.

I mean, if Krisexy and I (with as different as our views are, and as stubborn as we both are) can get along and have civil discussions, then most anyone here should be able to get along with anyone else.

Let us all use this thread to spread good cheer.

To extend the olive branch of peace

...and the open hoof of friendship and understanding.

I'm sick of the drama, and I'm sick of all the walls that we have put up between eachother. Its time to end it. Here and now.

It's time to start loving and tolerating the shit out of eachother ^_^

Its time to become a better community.

I don't even......

Rcs is damn right!

Oh, you BASTARD. The Pinkazoid thing got me youtube-ing, the show itself got me watching, and now I'm hooked. You BASTARD. My manliness. I lament its passing.

yes with the power of friendship anything is possible!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePowerOfFriendship

except trying to outsmug me, you can't do that

your link/thing doesnt work nekko! o:

I would also recommend this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbHW9Oktheo&feature=player_detailpage#t=1s

It covers themes that I think are also very close to home for us.


But Cliff is right. We've all known each other for years now. Some people have come and gone, sure, but EVERYONE knows someone who's been here forever now. We've fought, we've had drama, we've said things we regret... But we're all artists, we all love this setting, and we've ALL formed friendships from this. Let's not let little things tear us apart. Again. We're civilized 21st century human beings. We can handle this!


I actually have no idea what kind of drama's going on, actually... But from what I hear, it's nothing new.

I don't really know what's going on either, but DAMN, I'm too scared to click that youtube link Rcs posted :<

While you won't get me to touch the ponies yet ( I must resist in this world full of ponies damnit!), I do fully agree and support the notion of this thread. I've also kinda been taken blindsided as I have no clue of this drama flaring up...I guess a lot happens when my house gets fumigated for a few days... but really it is calming to think of the friends I do know here and all the fun stories, ideas and creativity that has come from this place. I honestly do look forward to the time I get (limited it may be) to just come by, relax and see everyone and the work they enjoy. Not much besides repeating what Gregole said, but I figured showing more support wouldn't hurt towards it.

NO WAY! O.o YOU created the Nice Things thread?!?! <3 AWESOME MOVE!!! *high-fives RCS in the FAAAAACE* ^_^ That is one of the most awes-mazing-est threads in the forum!

Also, I like what you're saying here. ^.^ I will continue to try to live up to what you've said here as I always have. Also, I've been meaning to watch that show. ;3 Everyone says it's really good.

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While you won't get me to touch the ponies yet ( I must resist in this world full of ponies damnit!)

Oh, you will fall. Everyone does. Mwuahahaha >: D

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I do fully agree and support the notion of this thread

Thanks. I never intended this to be a thread about ponies (but if a few new bronies are made, its a win-win), I was mainly using the ponies to help convey my message.

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I've also kinda been taken blindsided as I have no clue of this drama flaring up...

It isn't so much that drama is "flaring up again", other than that little exchange yesterday. Its that things still haven't gotten back to normal. Things have just felt tense lately, like the drama is still hovering around, getting in the way of everyone completely making up.

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but really it is calming to think of the friends I do know here and all the fun stories, ideas and creativity that has come from this place. I honestly do look forward to the time I get (limited it may be) to just come by, relax and see everyone and the work they enjoy. Not much besides repeating what Gregole said, but I figured showing more support wouldn't hurt towards it.

Thanks for the support. Thanks to everyone who has posted so far. Here's hoping this becomes a good first step to everything getting back to normal, and getting fun again.

HEY! X3 Why wasn't Nyaha quoted? So not fair.

Nyaha wrote:

HEY! X3 Why wasn't Nyaha quoted? So not fair.

O: I just noticed.

You totally ninja'd my last post and I missed you.

I was into ponies before they were cool.

rcs619 wrote:

Nyaha wrote:

HEY! X3 Why wasn't Nyaha quoted? So not fair.

O: I just noticed.

You totally ninja'd my last post and I missed you.

Heeeheehee! Sorry! ^^; Well, get around to it sometime, 'kay? :3

Pendragon wrote:

I was into ponies before they were cool.

...
That's scary ._.

Not to be the grumpy troll ruining everything, and I admit that this thread is a good starting place and idea, but I think that there are issues just besides pure friendship.

I think the underlying issues have to do with respect - how respect is viewed, how it is given to other forum members, how it is given to the setting, how it is given to work and contributions, and all the different combinations and facets of this.

...So this is what you meant, Cliff. I should have known.

I've returned, briefly, just to make it clear what has been happening. This isn't some recent flare-up of drama, and it isn't due to some lack of discipline on my part. At least, not entirely. This has been going on for quite some time... I think it's time I told the entire story, at least from my view. It does pertain to what is being discussed here. Sorry that it's long. You don't have to read it, I guess.

I joined Felarya years ago, long before many of the current improvements were made. I was young and enthusiastic, and I set out to apply a little pseudo-scientific explanation to many of the strange phenomena, as I had done on other forums where I was a bright bulb in a room full of flickering candles. I quickly learned that I was a medium-sized fish that had gotten into a larger pond, because I came into contact with a few people here whose pseudo-scientific skills were on par with my own... in some areas, better than my own. I joined in some discussions, wrote a few threads, and even had a discussion on universal metaphysics with a former mod, and damn good writer.

In the end, though, I didn't really connect with many people. The community was full of people who knew each other from elsewhere, and we didn't have flocks of new people filtering in at that time. I tried my hand at writing, and despite some praise from Karbo, I quickly realized that I would have to improve before I could make anything worthy of displaying, and I deleted all of my work.

As the community began to grow, I phased in and out of activity around the forums. I butted heads with a few people, most of which have left. Most people were nice enough, but I couldn't really call anyone here my friend. I was just kinda here, you know? I've never really been great at making friends. In all, I didn't contribute much after a while, and I just posted every so often in the Avatar/Signature thread (yes, it's pretty old) and whatnot.

Then I left for boot camp. Full of piss and vinegar, I felt proud to be receiving encouragement from the other Marines here, most of which are also gone now. I left, assuring everyone that the next time they saw me, I'd be a U.S. Marine.

I was injured, badly, halfway through training. I refused to give in, and kept going until I finally couldn't even walk without collapsing, and was forced by my Senior Drill Instructor to see a doctor. The doc said he couldn't even understand how I was able to stand, let alone run, for the two weeks I had been keeping myself going after the injury. It turned out I had suffered severe nerve damage, which was cutting off all sensation from my injured foot. With a shattered foot, I rotted on that stinking island for twice as long as most recruits, waiting to heal and hopefully return to training. The nerve damage healed partly, which was extremely painful, but never enough for me to function as a Marine recruit. I was sent home with some condolences, and some severance pay.

My dream as shattered as my foot had been, I dove into severe depression for several months. I returned to writing Felarya works, though I still felt I was lacking something. It was a few months after my return that I first starting talking with Stabs, who ended up being the first person to give a full critique of my work. He didn't pull punches, but I was grateful for that. Karbo's a really nice guy, no one can argue that, but when all you get is "this was interesting, keep going", it's really cool at first... but then you start wondering how sincere it is. With Stabs, I felt that he'd really taken the time to dissect the work, which flattered me somewhat. In the end, I think his critique has helped me to improve, and I'm trying my best to continue improving. No one can say there isn't room for them to be better.

I noticed that in this time, several new people were coming in. I also noticed that the wiki was swelling, filled with names that I didn't recognize. CauldronBorn24, who I'd also seen posting like a freaking madman in the Off-Topic threads (I got tired of commenting on his avvie after a while), is a good example. I realized that we were entering a Felaryan Renaissance, moving past the old vore-centric ways of the past and towards a more complete and well-rounded setting. As someone who'd sat on the sidelines for so very long, I decided I'd network a little. I hung around the Chatbox more often, chatting with some people, making a few conversations. CB and I ended up becoming contacts on MSN Messenger, and I'd consider him one of my first friends here, along with Stabs.

Then came that fateful day. Several people were rounding up members to contribute to a group effort that many consider to be infamous. I won't get into detail, but you all know it as The Letter. I happened to be in the Chatbox at the time, and I decided I'd go onto the Vent and see what the hubbub was. It was there, on that night, that I made more than half the friends I have here today. It wasn't all that serious that night, despite a certain serious person's (you know who you are) efforts to make us concentrate. It was so fun, I came back onto the Vent the next day. And the next. And eventually, I became a regular there. Even now, if I'm not working, you're likely to see me chillin' there.

The drama that resulted from The Letter, though unpleasant for all of us, did give me a chance to step in and make myself a little more known. I did my best to be a voice of reason, something few people know me as now, and to calm down the more invested members. Namely, Cliff. That was actually how I came to be friends with him, to be honest, and I quickly became one of the tiny number of people that actively defended him when everything went down. However, Cliff, you're still never turning me into a brony. It's not happening.

This was also around the time I had my first conversations with Krisexy. Now, I'm not going to turn this tale into a flamewar, so I won't say anything negative, but she and I had very different views on many things. I was patient and disciplined, and I had tried to teach her how to have a little more self-control, pointing out that even though she deliberately said things to get a rise from me, I didn't take her bait. Can't teach the unwilling, though. Still, I wrote it all off as being relatively harmless. She just liked to mess with people, and frankly, I didn't care.

Over the next couple months, I became more invested in the community, and in the setting of Felarya, as I spoke over Vent and MSN with many active contributors. Then, shit hit the fan. Droves of piss-poor contributors, whose names I needn't mention, flocked to the reeling forums. I wouldn't be surprised if Encyclopedia Dramatica had consciously sent them, knowing we were trying to recover from our own drama. I slowly became enraged, and this was only made worse when nothing was done about the problem. Cliff had lost his modship, which we both considered unjust considering the actions of others, and those who were in power all seemed to be of one mind... and in my view, seemed to be united against my new friends, the ones who I saw as only trying to help. Snarky comments were still being made in passing, and people were giving other people the cold shoulder. Journals were posted on DA, insulting the forum community, and my friends especially, and even though the perpetrator went unscathed, those who had spoken up against it were rebuked. Similar events occurred at least once a month, each time ending the same way.

I ended up becoming quite angry about it all. I took matters into my own hands, confirming every single bad thing that had been said about how unaccepting we are, how mean we forumgoers could be. The way I saw it, this trash from DA were all so used to pumping out sludge worse than what I'd started with, and still being praised... when I was getting mostly apathy even while I was trying to improve! They would come onto these forums, post their shit-scented bios and ideas, and then bemoan those who tried to criticize it, which allowed existing trolls to come in and blare out their agenda-driven grievances, which only caused more drama. I set out to be a Cerberus of sorts, not for Karbo's sake, or Felarya's sake, but for the forum's sake. I blasted those horrible writers, showing no mercy to a single one of those who couldn't tell the difference between a subject and a direct object. My vorpal blade went snicker-snack through a great many n00bs, and each time, I received disapproving glares from all directions. I was trying my best to avoid drama through this, though, and take my word for it. I felt that much of The Letter drama was from the cleave between the forums and DA, and that if the gap couldn't be closed, I would simply widen it and prevent one from crossing over into the other without actually having a brain.

Throughout this process, I only became angrier. It was a combination of stresses in my own life, my lingering frustration at the way my life was turning out, and the substitution I was doing in my mind where I continuously replaced my growing depression with more acceptable rage. I'm not using that as an excuse; it is merely an explanation. I'm not making excuses here, because none were asked for, and none are warranted. More drama spilled out between Krisexy and myself, and I wasn't nearly the cool and collected person I'd been before. I wasn't handling my frustration in a healthy way, and it only ended up piling heavier and heavier onto my back. I was drinking more and more just to sleep at night, neglecting my usual exercise regimen because I no longer saw the purpose, and I was craving morphine the worst I ever had since I'd gotten off the addiction. Of course, I did what everyone does: instead of seeking help, I just told myself I'd get better eventually. The same attitude that had caused the Senior Drill Instructor to force me to Medical, and the same one that had ensured I'd walk with a cane my entire life.

Eventually, this crossed over onto the forum. As little dramas over wiki-obsession and rationality-versus-imagination sprang up, I was rational at first with both Amaroq and Krisexy, believing that Amaroq simply misunderstood us, or perhaps we misunderstood him. It turns out, both were true, and I came to a peaceful resolution with him. Krisexy, on the other hand, thwarted every single rational point I offered with nothing but whimsy and illogical argument, coupled with snide remarks and little jabs here and there. I finally decided that nothing would get done by playing nice, and I adopted a sarcastic, trolling tone. Perhaps if I spoke her language, she'd understand me. It didn't work. Karbo stepped in, and when I tried to explain myself, he made his position clear. Regardless of how my actions were construed, it was not vindictiveness or dramatic need that caused me to leave. I realized that everything I'd done, all the help I had tried to give, was not only unappreciated, but unwanted. I realized that this wasn't a group project, the hours and hours that people had donated to develop this setting, all of it was for nothing. We were wasting our time; I was wasting my time. I wanted a community-driven effort, one where everyone got a slice of the pie, and even though I acknowledged that this was Karbo's party, I figured that he appreciated our efforts. I think that I was wrong.

So I left. There was no place for me here. I didn't say my final words in that post just to be an ass; I genuinely believe that if this doesn't change, I will not be the last. So there. I maintain my friends here, but Felarya as a setting has no room for Zion Atriedes.

Nice story here :/

I have nothing to say than this: how fun it is to be shown as a troll when I clearly am not.

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Not to be the grumpy troll ruining everything, and I admit that this thread is a good starting place and idea, but I think that there are issues just besides pure friendship.

I think the underlying issues have to do with respect - how respect is viewed, how it is given to other forum members, how it is given to the setting, how it is given to work and contributions, and all the different combinations and facets of this.

There are a lot of issues to fix, that much is true.

Im trying to start at square one though.

As far as Im concerned, most of the actual issues within the community are largely irrelevant. People will always have differing opinions, and there will always be hotly debated topics.

My goal is to work on mending the divides between community members. This recent drama had strained friendships, made this forum tense, and made everyone jumpy, irritable or just plain grumpy. I think we let things get too personal. It got less about being upset at the community issue, and more about being mad at the person behind it. We can have serious discussions, but we can't let that turn us all into a bunch of assholes that act like pricks to eachother.

Maybe if we all start being friends again, and respecting eachother as friends, then other controversial issues in the future may be able to be discussed in a calmer manner.

We should be able to go "I respectfully disagree with you, friend. ...and here's why." Not...well...like things have been going lately.

@ Zion

Look, other than this recent incident, you'd been doing good. You're a smart person, and an asset to this community. You can be a bit of an asshole at times, but you're still a good friend.

Your anger, and stress and frustration is partly what Im trying to diffuse with this thread. That drama, it got personal, it got ugly. People said things that they would regret, said things that hurt. Its left a funk hanging over this forum, and left a bunch of people frustrated and on edge.

That is what we need to repair. The actual community issues are mostly irrelavent in comparision. We gotta repair the bonds we all used to have. Enemies have fights, but friends have discussions, and occaisionally arguments.

Im sick of all the fuming, and silence, and the tension. We just need to all let out a deep breath, ALL go "Well, I didn't handle the drama well", and then we have to fix it.

Fresh start. No hard feelings on either side. A committment to being better community members and better friends.

It can happen if we all do our part.

beware the cuteness! XD i feel my man card slipping as i get hooked curse you griff! haha thanks though

Zion:

I believe this man requires a hug. The marine thing... I can't imagine. Hugs!

And to Krisexy... Really? With what this thread is about, must you troll a 10 paragraph argument explaining rational arguments and admitting irrational but understandable feelings? Why...?

Well, either way, I'm glad you're not leaving the community, even if you are leaving the setting. But I ask you not to. You are a fixture here, and have been since before I came, long ago. Some don't like criticism, but many of us think you are an asset to the community. So, if I may speak for roughly 40-60% of us (a doubtful thing indeed), we would very much like you back.

FalconJudge wrote:

You are a fixture here, and have been since before I came, long ago. Some don't like criticism, but many of us think you are an asset to the community. So, if I may speak for roughly 40-60% of us (a doubtful thing indeed), we would very much like you back.

I'd dispute the "fixture" thing, but heh, the sentiment's nice anyways. Yeah, I'll probably stick around the Off-Topic area, but really... I don't think I ever really fit with the idea of Felarya anyways. It's just not really my style, or maybe it's because I'm not running the show. I am an infamous egomaniac, after all. But there are too many cool people around here to completely forsake it.

I'll still continue to improve on my writing. I'm doing a 40K series already, and maybe I'll write for a few other things, too. Hell, maybe it'll give me time to get back to my poetry. But I'm not here to make this about me, regardless of what the long post may lead one to believe!

What Cliff said is true. Friends can disagree. I've used Louis (Sean) as an example several times. He and I disagree on many things, but I think we've always kept it civil and never took it personally. Aisu and I don't always agree when a political discussion comes up, but that doesn't mean we hate each other at all. Hell, AJ and I have disagreed on things, and I have nothing but respect for the guy! The point is that friends don't have to agree on anything... but friends also know where to draw the line. A good friend can tell you when you're wrong, and a good friend will genuinely think over whether he's wrong or not.

ZionAtriedes wrote:

I am an infamous egomaniac

Well admittance is the important part here, though your modesty was refreshing too. Though don't try and out-modest me, everyone knows that I am the most modest guy on this forums and you all know it and bask in it

Prof.Nekko wrote:

Though don't try and out-modest me, everyone knows that I am the most modest guy on this forums and you all know it and bask in it

Hey, we both know that I'm way more modest than you. I don't go posting ponies and acting all full of myself like some people, Nekko.