Merku's characters.

Name: Lorakai Mutenii
Age:28
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Height: 6'
Hair Color: Green
Eye Color: Red

Personality: Loud goofy and random are the traits that best describe Lorakai. Known for being completely inconsistent and talking about things that make no sense to anyone as well as doing dares that are just unbelievably stupid for kicks.

Bio: It isn't completely unheard of for some particularly successful Mercenaries or adventurers from purchasing a Jetbike. However the mere thought somebody would fly a Jetbike an deliberately get a Harpy or Fairy to chase them is so ludacris very few would believe it. However Lorakai is one such individual. Crazy, insane, mad and all sorts of words of that nature pop into one's mind when they hear or Lorakai's joyride exploits.

Known for flying close to Harpy nest blaring loud Music to attract attention the only thing that has prevented Lorakai from ending up a Harpy snack was his skill as a Jetbike pilot who for a time was considered among the best despite being a few screws loose.

However despite having such wealth to never need to risk his life out in the jungle Lorakai still does joy rides in his customized Jetbike. On one such joy ride a Harpy named Derliaia gave chase after Lorakai, Lorakai's skill with his Jetbike made it difficult for the Harpy to keep up as he flew between trees, large rocks and all manner of obstacles. However one bold maneuver the harpy shouldn't have followed caused her to crash impaled on several trees and rocks Derliaia was dying, not even the healing properties of Felerya could save her from her Deep wounds. Despite the danger Lorakai would turn back land his bike and he sung to the Dying Harpy in an attempt to comfort her as she drifted off.

Origin: Lorakai was a skilled soldier and fighter pilot for his people but during the war every member of his family and every friend he made died. Though he acts crazy and goofy all the time the truth is he has survivors guilt. He is a member of a subspecies of Humans called Baruo'naka, a purely carnivore type of Human who are notorious for Cannibalism. To control their cannibalistic instincts Baruo'naka were given an unique medicine to calm the desire to eat other Humans.. However charged for the crimes of his government in his home dimension he was sent to Felarya as punishment.

Trying to restrain the urge to kill and eat other Humans Lorakai uses his seemingly suicidal Joy rides to counter the urges via the rush of adrenaline that comes from near death experiences. Occasionally when on foot Lorakai completely losses control of his instincts, when this happens he will actively seek out and hunt a Human close to his own size, his sharp triangular teeth allowing him to easily kill by a bite to the throat on an unsuspecting adventurer. Should a Person fall victim to this Lorakai will strip the meat from the bones eventually only leaving a skeleton behind before his senses return to him.

The few friendly predators who know his secret believe the real reason he does the Joy rides is that the emotional torment of his past combined with slowly becoming a monster now is too much for him to bear but he can't bring him self to direct suicide.

You should make a thread for all of your characters, instead of one at a time

Oh sorry my bad. Hehe of course would love to hear some feed back opinions of my characters too.


Okay here's my other more sane character.
I'd like polite feed back and bear in mind kinda new to the world of Felarya so please cut me a little slack. Anyway this is Horlarh Eecho, my Human researcher of Giant predators who I'm sure allot of you are Giant Naga out there are already wanting to taste.. Without getting caught in one of his traps of course.

Name: Horlarh Eecho
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Height: 5’11
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Green and Purple. (Right eye green left eye Purple.)

Appearance: Wearing a simple Berna Cloak, tactical field research vest and Black Jeans Horlarh is a fairly subtle but unique looking person. His most defining traits however which are both often unnoticed are his left eye and his right arm. Having been injured by war in his Youth Horlarh's entirely right arm is Cybernetic using a high quality frame and alloy construction his arm is easily more durable then his entire body, his left eye is also cybernetic allowing him to see in info red (Heat) at short distances however both these traits are well hidden and require either a bit of Magic or very keen sight to notice.

Personality: Horlarh’s personality is best described as friendly, quiet, and polite. As he takes a passion in healing people as a doctor that being his primary source of income most are completely unaware he’s still haunted by his past. Though occasionally his most loyal mercenaries have noticed something bothering him on occasion. Some people who know him believe this nice guy outlook on everything is all an attempt to run away from his past and Horlarh agrees to that opinion too.

Bio: Horlarh was born into the Calron State, a Powerful and Ruthless conquering society spanning 3 solar systems. Though Human the Calron State is Militaristic, cruel and advanced. Though the Calron can perform Magic their true power is in their technological and scientific advances. A Bio weaponry scientist Horlarh was unfortunately the brain child behind one of the Calron's most potent and cruel Biological weapons. The Reaper Virus, a powerful easily adapted virus that spreads rapidly targeting sentient species and killing them in a manner more painful and cruel the Black plague.

Though Horlarh created one of the most inhumane weapon of the Calron state he wanted to heal others and learn Not commit genocide. One day however Horlarh managed to find a file on another dimension the Calron State had discovered recently despite only launching a few probes into the lands of Felarya the Calron state already labeled it as a "Death trap with only moderate research potential." Horlarth hated being the very embodiment of inhumane death and suffering, he wanted to escape, where he could escape the bonds of the Calron State and research freely.

Horlarh in a clever manner sabotaged the data banks containing the information about Felarya and left behind a bomb as he used a dimensional teleporter to reach Felarya. After reaching the dangerous lands of Felarya he made his way to the city of Negav and after sometime Horlarh would establish himself as a scientist and a Doctor. He actually employed and befriended a few Tomthumbs in his laboratory. When he isn't buried in books or typing on his hand crafted computer he is treating injured and ill for a fair profit. But every now and then he sometimes will do field research with the aid of Mercenaries or by himself.

His primary research interest is the giant predators that would only see him as a treat then anything else. Because on such field research trip he noticed a Neko Mercenary of his party caught and swallowed some Neeras she found he developed a hate of Nekos. Having a deep friendship of some Tomthumbs Horlarh was disgusted by this. Since the Neko often have been preyed upon by large predators in exactly the same way he sees the Neko are hypocrites, the beg for Mercy when Large predator swallows them but they do not show such mercy to the Tinies. It is because of this that when able to save a Neko from being eaten even with zero risk to himself or mercenaries under his employ he simply sits back and let's nature take it's course, though some Humans have been known to eat Tinies he doesn't have the same opinion because he believes that is per individual in that case not a race wide desire.

However despite his risky research projects he was always honest and paid the Mercenaries he hired well for the dangerous work, with a good track record of rarely returning with less mercenaries then he set out with it's surprisingly not too difficult for him to employ a few hired guns or mages.

Course Horlarh true method of success isn't power, or even Magic but rather very clever planning and escape plans for any unexpected complication, His use of high yield explosives and cleverly laid traps has allowed him and his Mercenaries to escape from any mistake. Though Horlarh does secede fairly often in getting what he sets out for such as biological samples. Of course oddly enough Horlarh has escaped the Stomach of a Naga a few times this fact remains proof he isn't 100% perfect.

Though his primary combat ability against predators rather it's to incapacitate for a sample or escape is via well placed explosives and traps he has a few tricks of his own. His cybernetic eye though with a very limited range has saved himself and his Mercenaries from walking into a Dryad's mouth more times then he likes to think about, even with Potent Magic to the Dryad's illusion the disturbance via Magic creates enough heat for him to spot a trap and retreat before its too late.

His Cybernetic Arm is extremely durable but not stronger then a Human one, however it does have a powerful reactabled combat saw (Small retractable chainsaw) that is actually powerful enough to cut through a Naga's Stomach wall all the way to the other side, however since during his first escape his saw jammed a few times before causing the desired puke reflex that allowed their escape Horlarh has taken a habit of storing thermite and Narith Virus grenades in the hollow portion of his cybernetic arm. The Thermite also causes a puke reflex via high damage to the stomach, where the Narith Virus oddly turns out to be the most reliable grenade for escaping digestion, The Narith Virus was a failed prototype that would later become a serious stepping stone in the development of the Reaper Virus, though unlike it's lethal cousin the Narith works in a odd way working faster dependent on it's host depending on size (Larger infected creatures contract it faster) It's characterized by forcing a 1 hour vomiting state before settling down with a runny nose and watery eyes. Narith isn't lethal regardless of species and is impossible to build immunity too, however despite Horlarh has no interest in finding out if the vomiting reflex would work on a Dryad.

Horlarh's sample collection oddly is what most other people find strange, though the bulk of his sample collection methods depend on taking a piece from a Naga and making a run for it a few times he's gotten more difficult samples such a brain tissue samples, bone marrow samples, and heart tissue samples, Horlarh's method is meant to prevent the specimen from being harmed seriously. The one time he gained a heart tissue sample was one of his solo adventures, he found a dead giant naga but the cause of death was unknown, deciding not to waste the extremely rare opportunity he cut a piece out and returned home.

Though the Giant races all try and occasionally came close to eating him he doesn't hate them. "They are large predators in a Jungle. Though some have become merciful to smaller races that is only a minority group and the bulk of them were raised to hunt us so we can't hate them for being what they are. They are intelligent animals and dangerous. We need to be careful as one would expect handling a tiger or lion."

Horlarh’s tools of the trade:
The Tactical research: Tactical research vests are merely lightly armored vests that protects delicate field research equipment that is stored within it more so then the person wearing it.

The Berna Cloak is a type of Technological cloaking cloak which comes in varying degrees of quality, the higher quality models can render a person completely invisible, however Horlarh's cloak is a low end one, it's extremely durable however it's cloaking ability is so ineffective it's laughed at by most, however those who can still see him close up still don't see it's real value, it's effect makes him much more difficult to spot from a distance, it's because of this it's always one of his Mercenaries who are spotted by a predator first.

The Narith Virus grenades: Like all aspects of Calron State weaponry and transportation very little of it is able to be recreated on Felarya due to the lack of key materials that don’t exist in Felarya. However some things from his home dimension can to an extent be recreated, Narith Virus is quite difficult and dangerous to manufacture. Due to the complicated procedure and the necessary two week stilling period Horlarh’s Narith Virus grenades are very limited in supply. Though such an reliable tool for escaping the Stomach of monsters exists he doesn’t teach anyone how to make it for Horlarh knows too well a person who doesn’t know what their doing could easily make an unstable acid bomb if they make a mistake.

High yield explosive tactics and traps: Though most Mercenaries would be left void of Details so they wouldn’t turn down the job Horlarh is different, being very upfront of the risks and what he’s trying to do the Mercenaries he’s hired tend to be more trusting of Horlarh and loyal. His primary means of travel on his field research trips is by Portals, employing a Mage to create a portal to his intended place of research and at a latter time a portal back for a long distance returned. Though Horlarh has a back up incase him and his team ever misses the return portal. He over time built several hold out shelters through the lands of Felarya which are small two room bunkers built into trees or solid rock that have no windows a highly reinforced door. Storing maps supplies and nonperishable food in these bunkers Horlarh believes they have a relatively strong chance of resisting a siege even by a predator that knows he’s in there. His traps are often a combination of explosives which batter the target gaint and cause objects to hit them as well as snares which bind limbs or even tails. Though these traps don’t restrain a giant for more then 10 or 20 minutes they do work out well as an escape tool or sample gathering. First thing he always does when taking a portal to his desired area is trap laying, this is the most vulnerable he ever is, he never lays less then three traps either. Only once was he attacked while in the process of laying a trap though he escaped unfortunately a few of his Mercenaries did not that time.

Hi there! Glad to see you're getting stuck in with creating characters. I had a read over your two chaps and I had a couple of questions/points:

1. You state that Lorakai can compete with a giant harpy in terms of speed on his jetbike - that may be tricky! Take a look at this thread. The general consensus is that a giant harpy could probably get up to around 400mph. I know their progress is going to be hindered as it sounds like Lorakai sticks fairly close to the ground rather than flying in the open air, but I just needed to warn you: these guys are fast!
   
   
2. Where do you envisage Lorakai living? He strikes as me as the type to live out in the wild, but then where does he get the fuel/equipment to keep his jetbike going?
   
   
3. If all Horlarh wants to do is heal people, why did he get a job as a bioweaponry scientist?
   
   
4. His sudden prejudice against nekos strikes me as a seriously jarring change for such an obviously intelligent man. I mean, there're countless other human-sized races that eat tinies, yet he only hates them? It's just quite discordant that he sympathises with giant predators to an extent because "the bulk of them were raised to hunt" when the same could be argued for nekos.
   
   
5. To reiterate Ilceren's points, Horlarh ultimately does come across as a little overpowered. Granted you've given him a very original way of escaping the stomach in the form of the specially engineered virus grenade, but it does kill a lot of tension to do with the character's adventures because he can always get out again. You also have to bear in the mind the supposed strength of a stomach wall in the Felaryan world - it's mentioned in the wiki that all nagas' stomachs are highly resistant to damage (with it saying that Crisis's is even able to easily withstand a grenade explosion), which makes the saw/thermite escape route quite contrary (and, in the case of the latter, how would he defend himself from the explosion if he was in the stomach too?) Add that to Ilceren's points about the impracticality of his traps and you may want to have a bit of a rethink about the limits and nature of his abilities.

These are two quite novel character ideas though, so please don't be disheartened! It'd just be great if I could get a couple of things cleared up about them first.

I'm glad you like Lorakai. ^_^

As far as the sentencing structure. Haven't gotten much critic on that in the past. Knew it was a bit sloppy but guess I should try harder to improve in that regard. My English teacher was from Germany barely spoke English which probably wasn't a good idea on my high school's part. >_<

I guess it's a little too vague on the infrared eye as to it's distance limitations. It's really only useful for detecting a Dryad pretending to be a hiding spot. But nothing else really. Only reason I haven't specified an exact range for distance it sees is because I'm not sure exactly is far enough to just barely escape a Dryad, while still being completely useless for anything else. What do I mean by that? Well a Naga could stand directly in front of him out in the open in plan view literly a stone throw's away and still not detect it by the infrared vision. Still working on making this more reasonable without removing it.

As for the escape stomach tools, the saw and the grenades have already been nerfed a little. I was wondering if that would be overpowered the retractable chain saw then if you think just how compact that would be, on top of the fact even good chain saws jam and clog fairly often. I think It should be noted is fairly unreliable but sometimes works for monsters who don't have a particularly strong stomach wall. And even then the Chain may jam before causing the desired result.

Now the Thermite grenades mind you I put some thought into how realistic it would be in the said universe and quite frankly it's the most believable weapon idea which I haven't seen used yet. Thermite is a fairly simple compound which ignited (If made well) Will burn about 3 times hotter then molten lava. For a short while. Now before you discount the possibility of a Giant's stomach resisting the chain saw and the thermite grenades. Consider how many Human sized people probably been swallowed whole with Magic, swords, Axes, guns, and possibly regular explosives that likely only caused a burp from the giant. Considering all that a Thermite burning the stomach to irrate it and cause a gag reflex isn't entirely out of the question. Also remember the Puke Virus grenade takes a long time to make so often he doesn't have one though he'd prefer to always have one. Which means his arm contains either 3 thermite grenades or 2 thermite and 1 Virus. In the earlier case it's very possible for all the escape devices to be resisted or even to escape and not have them if swallowed by a different predator.

The Trap thing I believe I pointed out and your correct requires alot of resources and work to set up. Which I mentioned is when he is most vulnerable. Since it takes a long time sometimes a couple days to set up all the traps. And during the trap laying process his guard is lower and he has no escape routes that slow an pursuing predator then you will quickly realize without his traps and tricks he is pretty defenseless.

Last thing Lorakai is actually the more powerful escape artist in that regard, with speed mobility, unpredictability and complete lack of fear. Where as Horlarh actually targets weak young predators who are full size but known not to be particularly powerful. What I mean by that is perhaps he could escape from Katrika's stomach with these said devices however an older stronger Predator such as Anko, Vivian, and Crisis could easily resist all the stomach escape devices or even re catch him after the Virus wears off. I'll also add Vivian would probably be the most dangerous to him because with her illusion Magic and notoriously strong stomach she could easily render the traps he depends on completely useless or even resist all the stomach escape tools including the virus. (Mind you I never said the Virus couldn't be endured. With a very strong mind and plenty of herbal remedies nearby it is possible to resist the effects and not expell the prey.)

As for the Purple Eye the reason it's not noticeable and what I meant by that was it looks like a real organic eye, not a mechanical one. I guess I should have phrased that better. >_< The robotic Arm is covered in a thick mesh rubber that looks just like normal skin with finger nails at the finger tips. In short you either need to use a spell or be really keen to notice the very slight difference in skin tone.

As for your concerns about how effective his traps are and such your welcome to discuss it with me via PM's to help tone it down without removing it entirely.

McKindle wrote:

[list=1][*] You state that Lorakai can compete with a giant harpy in terms of speed on his jetbike - that may be tricky! Take a look at this thread. The general consensus is that a giant harpy could probably get up to around 400mph. I know their progress is going to be hindered as it sounds like Lorakai sticks fairly close to the ground rather than flying in the open air, but I just needed to warn you: these guys are fast!

Well he does fly occasionly in open Air to lure a few predators to chase him but never for very long, His flying style is best described as.. Well Crazy.. He constantly will fly through and around obstacles that would be extremely dangerous for well anything to follow even a normal sized sparrow. Do remember he accidently killed a Harpy by having her chase him through a sea of obscales which impaled her due to a combination of the Obscales durable, shape and her intense speed.

McKindle wrote:

[*] Where do you envisage Lorakai living? He strikes as me as the type to live out in the wild, but then where does he get the fuel/equipment to keep his jetbike going?

Well it's mentioned he's a successful Mercenary, in short he's done alot of jobs with and for adventures. In short he's became a rich man due to a combination of his skill and reckless lack of fear.. Meaning he's had very dangerous jobs that paid very well. He doesn't live out in the wild as to his home dimension I can describe it better. Course it's mentioned back in his Home world he was a fighter pilot meaning he knows a few small tricks to make his Jet bike slightly more durable, heavy and a little faster.

McKindle wrote:

[*] If all Horlarh wants to do is heal people, why did he get a job as a bioweaponry scientist?

The government he lived under is a complete dictatorship. In short you have no choice in your work. It's what your superiors decide not you. Meaning if your good with Genetic research rather you want to or not your going to make bio weapons for them or be executed. It's not that he wanted to make an horrible deadly virus. In fact it still haunts him.

McKindle wrote:

[*] His sudden prejudice against nekos strikes me as a seriously jarring change for such an obviously intelligent man. I mean, there're countless other human-sized races that eat tinies, yet he only hates them? It's just quite discordant that he sympathises with giant predators to an extent because "the bulk of them were raised to hunt" when the same could be argued for nekos.

I see your point but you assume he's good with people. That isn't entirely true. Your talking about a man (Though has empathy) Grew up in a prison cell sized work station where he would only see another Human being once a week or less. Merely to inspect his lab and check his progress. The Reason he gets along with Mercenaries is because he pays well doesn't back stab and has a good track record for not causing alot of Mercenaries to end up as Meals. They a few did. There isn't much rationality behind his hate of Nekos. Just like alot of prejudice there is little to no real reason behind it. It's a character flaw. And due to this a Neko would have alot of reason to back stab him by maybe attracting a predator to him before he finishes laying his first trap or something.

Again I will state I wanna keep Horlarh the way he is. But I will gladly work with the community to tone down his abilities to make them more acceptable. Though I don't want to remove them entirely.

Name: Jarger'rakii
Age:2,017
Gender: Male
Race: Re'kieesh
Height: 6'2
Eye Color: Purple

Appearance: Jarger'rakii can be distinguished easily due to his Purple hooded robes with Green runes etched into the fabric. His scales are dark blue in color with his skin having a light tone to it. Like most Warlocks he carries a dagger however the weapon is merely carried for the Magical properties more so then as a knife. A distinct scar from before the great purge can be seen on his left check.

Origin: Like many Re'kieesh born before the Great Purge Jarger'rakii spent two thousand years within the void of eternal pain before being sent into Felarya. His time in the void made him like most of his kin who escaped the horrors of the Void, more tolerant of pain. Jarger'rakii isn't a particularly powerful Warlock or even one of much note.

Bio: After being spewed into Felarya from the Void Jarger'rakii managed to make his way to the city Negav where he established a small but comfortable home there. With a small private library of tomes and various spell books of the Dark arts one would see Jarger'rakii often reading or teaching his apprentice Witch Narinie, a Re'kieesh girl of five years of age. Though Jarger'rakii runs a simple enchanting service and magical reagents shop out of his home he has little time for the bushiness.

On top of being a teacher and a book worm Jarger'rakii is also a adventurer often teaming up with other groups or rarely going out alone. He adventures not for treasure but for knowledge. Jarger'rakii wishes to learn as much about the lands of Felarya as possible as such he will often lend his assistance even without a share of the spoils. He prefers the term archaeologist when referring to himself as an adventurer. Believing a God or goddess on Felarya shown his race Mercy by pulling them out of the Void Jarger'rakii hopes he can identify who and why.

Though Jarger'rakii doesn't eat the Tiny Re'kieesh he will however snatch and swallow other tinies, his favorite being Neeras. He doesn't actively hunt tinies however preferring to seize an opportunity should he stumble upon one easily within reach.

Abilities: Like all members of his race his primary offensive spells are curses seemingly harmless in effect but dangerous depending on situation. His abilities with illusion Magic are fair often creating several images of himself and his group all over the area the less keen predators are often tricked into gulping down rocks, small trees and all sorts of inanimate objects.

Personality: Friendly, quiet, focused and determined.

Not too bad of a construction there. It's not too long, yet some areas could be fluffed up a little bit more, but that's not inherently necessary. His age is a little much though.

Yeah his age is quite a bit old.. But it's one of those things which would make more sense if you understood his race more.

In the race suggestion it's noted for 2,000 years that entire race was trapped in a hell of sorts completely unable to die undergoing what was supposed to be an eternity of pain. In short though he's 2,000 plus years from that he hasn't gained any power or experience in those 2,000 years, and the 2,000 plus years are merely technical he looks and performs more like a 17 year old. The 2000 years on any Re'kieesh are merely empty years. To get the actual age subtract 2,000 years.

Long story short he may be 2,017 years old but he only performs like a 17 year old Magic user.

Like I said, the age is a bit much. On one hand, you have a race that's been in limbo for 2,000 years, which is a pretty big number. I haven't read the race idea, but in that amount of time you'd go nuts, and if you didn't, and he didn't learn any magic, then 17 is too young to have a good grasp unless he was practicing since he was a little kid. I'm not sure how fast they learn spells, but when someone is that young in felarya, generally they don't know much. So my suggestion is tweaking the age and knowledge a bit.

I see your point.. Well as for how long it takes them to learn their Magic.. Re'kieesh begin Warlock/witch apprenticeship at about four years of age. They on average will complete their training around 8 to 10 years of age. (That's 4 to 6 years of study and practice.) Now 10 years may seem quite young to complete training. But that is only a basic grasp. (IE they know all the Basics but are very weak in all their fields of Magic.)

As to how they can get the Basics down so fast. (Dark Magic comes naturally to them. Teaching a Re'kieesh how to make and cast curses is like teaching an Elf how to use a bow. Less time and effort as it comes naturally.)) However.. The training is merely a Basic level. He's not a powerful Magic user.

As to knowledge.. I never said he was particularly wise. Other then tutoring an apprentice witch he's not particularly wise, just responsible with with his apprentice and genuinely curious of the world around him.